The High Road
by ElleThom
Summary: How do you come back from tragedy and find the high road?  AU from Last of the Time Lords
1. We're bound to wait all night

**Dear and faithful reader,**

**This is a new story, and if you will again indulge me this rant, i will try to define it. I did not want to write this story. i was set on finishing Sectioned and on to writing the follow up to Informed Consent. But, i wanted to write a Ten/Martha story, and this is what came to me. Anyone familiar with my writing knows that i often write happy and light stories. this is not one of those. If you are looking for happy and lihgt, go read one of my other stories, i am sure you will find what you are looking for there. This is a dark tale, ande i am still not sure how it will end, but i do know where it is going. i don;t know if or when i will post,but this one seems to have taken over all of my creative muse's time, soi am hoping to appease her enough to allow me to finish the other's  
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She toed her expensive shoes off at the front door, well aware of how it drove Tom nuts. But, Tom was not here, as usual. He had gone off for yet another tour in Africa, saving the world one misfortune at a time.

Martha Jones vowed to examine her choice in men, her hero worship really needed to be culled at some point.

More than one family member had pointed out the similarities in the two men, Tom, and the Doctor. Often, Martha merely shook her head and smiled at their accusations. What else could she do? Lie? Protest too much? She supposed if Tom had a magical blue box in place of a ten year old Volvo, she would be in real trouble.

The light was flashing on her answering machine, but a ten day trip to Ireland on UNIT's dime had rendered the light inevitable, as well as her indifference to it.

What messages would have been there anyway? Her mother railing on about her father's girlfriend? Leo asking for babysitting duties? Tish gushing about her new relationship? It was both sad and obvious that her family had a life, and all she had were memories of one. And a job. A really demanding one at that.

They had all bounced back from the year that never was, or at least that was the plan. The bouncing back part was easy to cling to as mythos, but much harder to pull off in real life.

. Perhaps the rest of her family had bonded in close quarters, and Leo, having no memories of any of it was a good buffer. Tish seemed different in many ways, quieter and more reserved. The night after she had walked out of the TARDIS, her family had got together for a large family dinner at their favorite restaurant. Jack had come along at the insistence of both Francine and Tish. Her otherwise gregarious and sassy sister seemed to cling to the immortal man as if her were the last life boat leaving the Titanic. Martha had chalked it up to the experience of an entire year at the hands of a mad man. What else did she expect?

It had been a somber meal, but the undercurrent of liberation and happiness ran true through the event. Jubilation was not quite the word to be used, but a happiness to be alive was agreed upon between the pasta course and the tiramisu. They all agreed that this would not break them. They would see this through and come out stronger.

If only they could all agree with that at the same time, perhaps the hard smiles and painted on glee would be believable.

UNIT officers waited outside of the otherwise empty Italian eatery, poised to move the traumatized family to their base to be debriefed. The family laughed in mirthless forced spurts, and even the usually flirty Jack Harkness held his grins under the table with his tightly balled fists.

Clive laughed through gritted teeth, and Tish held herself so close to Jack that Martha began to wonder what was really going on between them.

Francine tried to carry on as if it was a normal outing for the family. Martha noted how she even tried to tell old family jokes that seemed to fall flat against the surreal backdrop of an empty restaurant and UNIT officers that could be seen through the large picture window in the front. Her mother's laughter was like glass, hard shards of jangly broken pieces crunched together in the bin.

Leo seemed to be the last line in that old rhyme about one of these things just did not belong here. As far as he was concerned, he had seen everyone three days ago at a family gathering. Well, everyone except Martha who was off with the Doctor in his time line.

Paradoxes and timelines.

Now, three months after the end, and Martha had made the same decision that the rest of her family had. Keep buggering on.

For Tish, that was dating, Leo went on raising his daughter, Francine idea of survival was marked with her continued complaints about Clive's choices in survival—Annalise. But for Francine, that was life wasn't it? How did they equate life with the mundane? How did these amazing people that were her family just slip right back into the same comfortable trifles of life?

But, work was her mundane, wasn't it?

The tea kettle was on before the coat came off, tossed over the luggage by the front door. Martha went about making her tea by autopilot. She ruminated over the events in her life that led her to this point. A medical advisor at UNIT. Great pay, great travel, great chances for advancement. Really shitty possibilities for a social life. She had no illusions about where the job had come from; as far as she was concerns it was her due. And Martha was sure he knew it too. She had seen more in that non-existent year than she had ever wanted to see in her entire life. But, like the song said; once you know you can never go back.

The tea made, Martha moved to the couch in her living room, decided to forego mindless television, she sat in the quiet and relative dark. It was something she had become accustomed to in the time since her return from the Valiant. She had been seeing Tom for three months before he left for his new crusade, and she wondered if there was any chance for them. What she felt for him was transference, but better to settle for a facsimile when the original was unavailable.

But, she found that Tom Milligan had begun to creep into her heart, maybe not in the ways she wanted, but definitely in the ways he should. She found herself wondering if she loved him, or was lonely for something else. It was still too soon to tell. Japan was still burning behind her closed eyes, even though she had visited there not a month ago. Just to make sure.

"Don't even think about it." She spoke aloud. A warning she wondered to herself she wondered if she would even heed. She missed him, but she was not stupid enough to believe that those feelings about the mysterious alien were reciprocated.

Halfway through her third cup of tea, the light began to bug her. The flashing reminded her of lights of the console. Sometimes they would just go for no good reason. That was usually when the Doctor would wield his mallet and pound the life out of it.

He was good at putting out lights, wasn't he?

She stood in her stocking feet on her new expensive carpet, she moved to the small table by the overstuffed chair and pressed the button.

The first message was from her sister, dated for the day before she left for Ireland..

"Martha," Tish sniffed wetly. "Are you there? I need to talk to you. Mum said that you were leaving on a trip. I was trying to catch you before you left." A pause. "If you're there, can you pick up? " a longer pause. "It's sort of important." Martha folded her arms in mock self defense. "I guess I'll try your mobile. Please answer."

Martha had gotten the call from Tish, and then sent it straight into voice mail. She had not wanted to deal with family business while she was on the road. But that was not entirely the truth.

The truth was, Martha Jones had left the building.

She shook her head and went through to the next messages. One from Tom, one from her mother about a wedding in the family. One from Annalise about a birthday party for her father.

Life went on, but Martha was merely a shade.

A message from Jack, terse but still she could hear the Jack come through in his voice. She knew he was as worried about her as the rest of her family, but she did not want concern. Martha Jones was the super hero that saved everyone. She was impervious to harm and danger. Faster than the speed of light; more powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

She needed a cape; a cape and a telephone box to change in. Preferably a blue one.

She listened to more messages about bills, and obligations, none of which she particularly cared about. Until the last one.

Martha had leaned over ready to push the button to dump the rest of the calls when her mother's voice came through,

"Martha." Her mother began slowly. "I need you to call me, as soon as you get this. And don't give me that 'I am too busy, nonsense." Her mother's voice had taken a clearly definable tone of desperation, bordering on hysterical. "I need to hear from you ASAP young lady."

Martha was no fool; she picked up the phone and called her mother.

It rang for a long time, glancing at the clock on the wall; Martha realized with a grimace that her mother may have been in bed, 2:30 was way past Francine's hour of decency.

She picked up on the fifth ring. "Martha?" she chirped mightily.

"Just got in Mum," she began quickly. "sorry to call so late,I got your message and it sounded pretty big."

"Your mobile has been off for two days." Her mother accused.

Martha sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "Not really allowed to have them on the plane, Mum."

Francine huffed in response. "You were on the plane for a week.'

"Mum," she warned.

"Martha, I have been trying to get a hold of you all day."

"And here I am." Martha affected a mock jovial tone, a tone which only served to exaserbate her mother's irritation.

"I was trying to find your sister."

"Tish?" Martha frowned.

"You have another sister?" Francine answered with no humor. "Yes, Martha. Tish. She was supposed to come over today and go shopping with me. I have not seen her, nor heard from her."

"That's not like her," Martha spoke to herself.

"No," Francine answered, "which is why I called you. Leo has not heard from her, and neither has your father, nor his tart."

"Mum," Martha admonished verbally, but could not help her own smile. "Did you try Jack?"

Francine's voice was a mantra of disbelief. "Why would I call jack about Tish?" she snorted.

"They talk a lot, maybe she went off with him. You know they have been really close since…" she trailed off.

"Why can't you talk about it Martha?" Francine asked.

"Mum," Martha warned again.

"It's not like you were there for the brunt of it."

"Great, early morning accusations. Do we need to have this conversation now?" she whined.

"That was not an accusation Martha, but the fact that you take it as such means you have not dealt with your survival guilt."

"Don't Mum," Martha warned again. "Leave it in the counselor's offices, yeah?"

"Anyway," Her mother exaggerated. "I need to find Tish, and I am not in freak out mode yet,but it would be nice to keep from taking that trip down Paranoia Lane.'

"I'll call Jack now," Martha answered quickly, grateful for the opportunity to end the call.

"Let me know, Martha." Francine clipped.

As if I could, Martha thought, but kept it to herself. "Yeah," She disconnected the call and rang Torchwood.


	2. She's Bound To Run Amok

**Thanks so mush for all of the love on this one. It means a lot to mean and the encouragement is invaluable. this is going somewhere, stick with me, you know i take a while to get warmed up.**

The phone picked up on the first ring. "Nightingale." Jacks voice sang.

Martha could not help the smile that spread across her face at the sound of the immortal man's voice. "You sound as if you have been waiting for my call."

"I did leave you a message." Jack hedged.

"Yeah, well I am calling for that and for another reason." She offered.

"Well, nice of you to finally call me back at all."

"Jack," Martha warned. "I was in Ireland. For UNIT."

"I know." He returned curtly.

Martha nodded as if he could see her response. "Yeah, well I am actually looking for Tish, have you seen or heard from her?"

The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. "That was sort of why I was calling you, Martha."

"Really? So you have seen her?"

"No." jack said.

"But you have talked to her."

"Define talking." Jack's turn to hedge.

Martha felt a headache began to crawl across her temples, a slow dance that she just knew would culminate into a full fledged tango. "Are we playing a game?" she asked.

"No games Martha, i just need a better definition of talking.."

"Jack. My mother is worried; she has not seen nor heard from Tish all day. Now, I realize it is late at night, or early in the morning, or however you want to look at it, but the thing is, ii really need a straight honest answer. Where is Tish?"

"I don't know." Jack blew.

"But you have had contact from her." Martha insisted.

Again, a beat of silence from the other side of the phone. Again, that feeling of being played with for no good reason. Or perhaps a very good reason indeed. "Look," Jack said finally. "I have had contact from your sister. I can say she is fine. " jack sighed.

"Rally? Then why hasn't she been in contact with anyone today?"

"She did call you, but apparently, your family seems to be a back seat to your career lately."

The anger came suddenly and without control. "Don't you judge me, Jack. I have a busy and demanding career. I have people who rely on me to keep the world safe. You of all people should understand that."

"You sound just like him there." Jack accused.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare stand over there in the middle of Torchwood three and tell me that I am being a self righteous, self important, over egoed, fop."

"Your words.' Jack answered nearly playfully.

She silently counted backwards from ten before speaking again. "You say she is fine? Then where is she?"

"She is as fine as can be expected after everything." Jack asserted.

"What does that mean exactly?" Martha pressed.

"Do you even talk to your sister? I mean really talk? There are a lot of things that she has had to deal with Martha. Things that went on that she is still trying to put back together."

Martha was incensed that he would imply she did not know her sister, nor cared about what she was going through. "What do you mean by that?"

"If you knew you would not have to ask." Jack gritted. "Its fine and well to throw yourself into work, and pine for things you thought you should have. But, there are those of us that have had to deal with a year with a madman."

Martha had no answer for his accusations. She had refused any sort of counseling offered by UNIT. But, everyone else, including jack, often went to both single and group sessions. They had mastered the art of dealing with it, while Martha had decided it was best to move on and forget. No one remembered that year, so why should she? "You know where she is, don't you Jack?"

"I don't know." Jack repeated. "I really don't Martha. But you are going to have to trust me on this one."

"And if I don't?" she blew.

Jack's voice held a finality when he spoke, a finality that she did not appreciate. "She will bne fine Martha. Leave this one go." And he was gone, just like that.

But, Martha had absolutely no intention about letting this one go. There was something in Jack's voice that she did not like, something that made her blood run colder.

She grabbed her purse and keys and headed for her car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tish lived in a rather posh section of London. Martha knew her sister was successful, but it was never an issue of jealousy or excess. Tish just liked to be surrounded by nice things.

She knocked first. Waited for a few minutes and knocked aagain. Martha did not expect an answer, she knew full well that Tish was somewhere else. It was not easily definable this crteeping feeling that her sister had gone, but she just knew.

Martha used her set of keys to enter the condo. She even removed her shoes at the door and left them neatly by the door. She may not have had much respect for her own carpets, but her older sister would have killed her for leaving any marks across her floors.

The flat was empty; Martha called for Tish a few times, but had no real expectation for her to be home. If Tish would have heard someone coming into the house at four in the morning, Martha would have landed in hospital.

She roamed around the large condo, her sister's taste in furnishings leaned toward the romantic. Swathes of fabric hung from the ceiling and pooled onto the floors. Overstuffed, but tastefully artsy chairs matched the velveteen luxuriant sofa. She ran her hands along the decadent fabrics and teased her fingers along the impossibly clean shelves.

Leticia Jones was both a perfectionist, and a neat freak.

The morning light was just coming in, so Martha left the lights off and turned her attention to the pictures. There were several in traditional frames. Family gatherings, work groups; Tish even had pictures with herself and famous people.

Martha smiled at the marvel that was her sister. Tish could have been an actress or something creative. Instead, she flourished in school and decided on a much more grounded existence. She had never been the rebel of the family.

The kitchen was neat and orderly, not even a morning coffee cup left to languish in the pristine sink. Small but well stocked, Martha doubted her sister had any immediate plans to run off. The fridge was full of what amounted to the makings for party foods. "Were you having a [party Tish?" Martha asked the refrigerator. "Is that why you were calling me earlier this week?"

But there were no definitive answers from the Whirlpool Deluxe, and Martha sighed as she closed the door and moved on into the bathroom.

Again, neat, tidy orderly. The bathroom was intact and Martha noted the placement of Tish's belongings. Nothing moved, nothing missing.

In the bedroom, the first thing that shocked Martha was the amount of pictures of Tish and Captain jack Harkness. They had been close in the three months since the Valiant, but Martha had had no idea that they were so close. In many of the pictures, there was a backdrop of some happy location, placed where people were rarely sad. But, the backgrounds did nothing to the negated smiles off put by the sadness behind both of their eyes. There were times where Martha wished she had been there, had been in the Valiant for that year. She felt as if she had taken the cowardly way out. Maybe, just maybe, had she been there, she would have been able to help the hurt that had crept into their lives.

But, that was wistful thinking, and Martha knew that. She was a hero, albeit a little known one. The Year That Never Was would have continued on without her bravery.

Even the Doctor had been useless.

Tish's luggage was still parked in the closet, not even the small overnight was moved. Martha's fear ratcheted up a notch as she noted both Tish's purse and journal sat serenely on the elegant nightstand.

Grabbing for both, she stormed out of her sister's flat, barely remembering to lock the door behind her.

Her mobile was out before she made it to the car. First call she made was to an old friend and went unanswered. She expected nothing less, she was not much to him to begin with, asking him for help was more than she wanted, but needs must.

It was a moot point anyway as she left a brief but desperate message on her old phone and ended the call.

The next call was answered.

"You didn't tell me you're dating my sister." Martha accused as she flung into her car.

"Who says we were dating?" Jack answered tiredly.

"Why are you using past tense? " Martha fired angrily. "What do you know, Jack?"

"Very little." He admitted. "Look, Martha I told you she is fine. I don't have any way of proving this to you other than to tell you to trust me."

"What is going on? Her place is untouched, nothing is missing except her. What are you not telling me?"

Jack's silence seemed an intrusive but ardent confession of guilt. "You and I have always been friends Martha, but I know we have never been very close. But, in this, I need you to trust that there are things here that are above and beyond my control."

Martha sat in silence, stunned at jack's defeated demeanor. "What is going on, Jack?"

But he did not answer, and the silence on the other end of the phone swelled into a living thing.

"I'm going to tell you this now Jack. I am going to find out what is going on here. I am not going to let this go. I only have one sister, and the fact that you are both hiding your involvement with her disappearance, and the nature of your relationship, puts you at the top of my list."

"I could retcon you." Jack warned half heartedly.

"Yeah, you could." But before he could answer, Martha hung up the phone and parked her car in her spot,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She relished the sound of the slammed door as she made her way into her flat. Martha swept the kitchen table clean and dumped the contents of Tish's purse onto the surface.

Make up, pens, assorted gums and breath mints moved to one side. Left over were Tish's phone, her appointment book, and her journal.

Martha was not sure if she was ready to go into the inner workings of her sister's psyche. The journal, she decided, could hold off for last. Dead last. Too many things from the Valiant she was sure would be embedded into that journal, things that Martha Jones felt safer not knowing about.

Tish had her dates all lined up. Martha went bacy two weeks and checked the times. Work obligations, dates with jack, and friends. Martha wondered why jack was so hesitant to admit to seeing her sister, did he think she would be angry? Well, angrier than she always was at his secret squirrel act.

There was nothing two weeks back, so Martha started at the date after they were released from UNIT. Tish left an entire week blank, and Martha figured it was fair to assume that her sister had spent that time healing. After that, it seems that Tish's life came back into what it had been before the Valiant, she even was able to land a great job at one of the largest PR firms in London.

She laughed at Tish's annotations after each date. She noted if it was boring, if the client she had seen was unusually touchy feely. Tish made notes about everything.

Tish was seeing a counselor three times a week, and never missed an appointment as evidenced by her annotations. She seemed to have retained her sense of humor, if not her love for life.

Martha was going to mark the date book as a bust until she came to the entry a month and a half after they came back. Hairs on the back of her head prickled as she tried to determine the nature of the date. Tish was seeing a doctor on a regular basis. Once a week. Martha knew of the doctor, he was UNIT, she had worked with him once, a nice man, bit of a geek. But why was she seeing him? Unless it was for a script for the anti depressants that Martha had seen in her sister's bathroom. She kicked herself for not noticing the name on the labels and made a mental note to go back and look.

But, why would Tish need to see an xenobiologist once a week?

Then, she kicked herself for treating this in such a detached manner. Martha realized she was going about her sister's disappearance like she would an investigation at UNIT. It turned her stomach when she realized that her sister had become an investigation.

It was her own phone that made her jump.

"Mum, iwas just about to call you." She breathed.

"Sure you were, Martha." Francine sighed.

"I was, I went over to Tish's flat to see if she was there. I was—"

"Well, that is why I am calling you dear. She called, said she is fine. She had to go out of town for work."

Martha stared at the phone for a moment before putting it back to her ear. "She called?" Martha asked

"Yes, Martha she called. "

"What did she go out of town for?"

Francine sighed wearily. "Oh why does she do anything these days? She has a pretty crazy schedule Martha, she has gone out of town before for business. It's all hush hush, she mentioned something about a film festival she had to work."

Martha could almost hear her mother's shrug on the other side of the phone.

"Anyway, needn't worry, sorry to bother you."

But she was worried; Martha was damn worried and beyond bothered. There were far too many important future dates in her sister's planner to warrant a spur of the moment business trip.

And Tish's purse was still at the house

Along with her passport and luggage.

"Mum, that's good. I am glad she is all right. I hope she has a good time at the festival." Martha spoke slowly, deciding to keep with whatever story Tish needed to tell to quell Francine's concern. But Martha knew something was up. "Did she leave a number where I could call her? I wanted to get the scoop on the clelebs there." She lied.

"No, but she says she is out of range of her mobile,. Honestly Martha, you barely talk to any of us now. Unless it's a serious emergency."

"Mum," Martha said.

But Francine seemed to already know the drill. "I know, I know. You don't want to talk about it. If I was a crafty person I'd have cross-stitched that into your forehead." A sigh left the older woman's voice. "All right, just call me…well whenever."

The line went dead

But Martha's spidey senses were ablaze.

She needed answers, and Jack was no help.

There was definitely something rotten in the state of Denmark.

Martha decided to make a trip to UNIT, right after a shower and about three pots of coffee for strength.


	3. Invested Enough in It Anyhow

Dr. Henry Talbot was a young doctor, sort of Doogie Houser in his own right. She had fended off more than a few of his cloistered, awkward chat ups. Now, here she was, stalking his parking spot for him to come in.

What bothered her was that she had never been told about any of it. He had been seeing her sister once a week for six weeks and never did it cross his mind to let her know. Martha was sure he was going to pay, she just had to figure out what the cost was.

His Honda Element finally arrived and he offered her a brief wave and huge smile upon seeing her standing in front of his parking spot. "Dr. Jones." he grinned as he hopped out of his vehicle. "To what do I owe this unique pleasure?"

But he should have seen on the young woman's face that there was little to know pleasure involved in this visit. Martha offered a smile back that came off as a sneer. "Dr. Talbot." She nodded tersely. "You've been treating my sister for the last six weeks; I would like to know why."

Dr. Talbot stopped his movements and slammed the door to his car. He clenched his briefcase a little tighter and flinched. "You of all people should be able to respect the idea of patient confidentiality."

Martha moved to stand so close to the newly frightened physician, she could smell his cheap aftershave, "Don't lecture me about patient confidentiality, Henry." She saccharined in a near whisper, "I have seen more confidentiality than you will ever want to know about."

"Martha, I—"

But she shushed him with a small movement of her hand. "What were you seeing my sister about?"she asked again in that same strangely sweet voice.

"She should be the one to tell you." Henry dragged.

"I am asking you."

But the man under intense scrutiny had two things in his favor. One, he loved his job. There was very little about the secrecy of his position that Henry Talbot did not revel in. He loved dodging sdirect questions from friends and family. He loved the way he only hinted at being a 'highly specialized physician,' to the tittering women he often picked up in the bars. No, Henry loved his job too much to give Dr. Martha Jones what she wanted, no matter how many commendations and special medals the woman held.

The other thing that Henry had going for him played Vivaldi.

"You gonna answer your phone?" he asked.

"You gonna answer my question?" Martha fired back angrily.

But the tone continued in the early morning sunshine. Breaking eye contact, Martha sighed heavily and dug her phone out of her pocket.

"This better be really important, "

It was important. She had come close to missing her morning meeting, the one that would brief the rest of her team about the anomalous situations in Ireland. Martha had not even prepared for it, let alone dressed for the nine a.m. conference.

She sent a warning look at Dr. Talbot and stormed toward the meeting without another word to the small man.

It was all bullshit, at least in her mind it was. There was some possible alien technology being used to produce healthy pregnancies in otherwise barmen women.

Multiple births.

Ireland had seen a rash of sextuplets, and Martha went to help with the medical end of the investigation. She stood at the head of the room, presented her side of the information, and promptly left after the last berated head had spoken. Martha wasn't even sure of the outcome of the entire meeting. She was sure that she had been given more tasks to accomplish, but in truth, it was all a jumble. The only thing that she could think about was Tish's purse and cell phone. Tish's empty bed, her apartment neat and awaiting a return that had not happened yet.

* * *

><p>It was seven more hours before she had the chance to break into Dr. Talbot's office.<p>

She had been planning it the whole time. Her credentials were such that she pretty much had clearance for any part of UNIT's medical division. She had initially kicked herself for tipping her hand, Talbot had no know she was on the trail of something, but her stealth and overt affable nature made her colleagues more at ease in her presence. If anyone asked, she smiled and offered Tish's own story.

Yes, she was at Sundance festival

Yes, she was having a good time rubbing elbows with celebrity elite.

Yes, this was a major boon for her sister's career, and chances were she would be a very successful PR person for many in the big circles.

But, if any of them had taken the time to ask, they would have realized that Martha had not heard from her sister in over a month. She had no idea who Tish was supposed to be rubbing elbows with; Martha had no idea even if she was

Martha stayed late in her office, under the auspices of finishing up the report from Ireland and beginning the next phase of the investigation. She had finished that hours ago.

UNIT maintained a relatively skeletal crew after ten at night. Martha took advantage of the lesser crew to make her way into the security room.

It was very little to no trouble breaking into Talbot's office, and far less dangerous than trying to tap into his files. She supposed she could have called in a few favors, but the mystery of her sister's sudden disappearance weighed heavier on her mind than Tom's sudden departure.

Eventually, everyone left.

She slid her dummy key card into the slot and eased open the door. The office was dark and carpeted, and far smaller than hers. Martha understood that her highly specialized credentials afforded her privileges at UNIT that made her colleagues green. But, never for a second did she determine that any of the favors she curried were unjustly given. She had done things for humanity, things she realized she would never be properly thanked for. So what if she had a colonel's office? She had done more than most of the people in that building.

She padded softly across the floor and headed for the file cabinet. It was on her mind what would have lead her sister to come here once a week, any number of scenarios ran through her head as she flipped through to the J section.

Her hand grazed the file just as a voice spoke from behind.

"Martha," Jack purred icily. "Leave it alone."

"Jack," she whispered before her breathing caught up to her heart rate. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Not here," Jack fired. "Come on." Jack plucked the folder from her hands without missing a beat, tucked it under his own arm and took hold of her shoulder. He pulled her away from the file cabinet, shut it and led her out of the office. Martha squinted in the lights of the too bright hallway as Jack shut the office door. She opened her mouth to speak, but the American man simply shook his head and took her elbow. "Outside." He mouthed prettily.

* * *

><p>"I am not even going to ask how you managed to get into a high security office let alone how you knew I would be there." She fumed once they made it to the black SUV. The two of them had marched through the UNIT Medical and Science wing as if Jack had every right to be there, and Martha could not help but wonder if he did. Unit and Torchwood were not exactly friendly to each other, but they did, at heart, have the same goals.<p>

Well, except for that 'kill the Doctor,' charter, which, after the last twelve hours or so, Martha wasn't sure if she belonged at UNIT. Perhaps she was in the wrong alien hunting business.

"You got a lot of nerve." he smirked. "And anyway I could ask you \the same question."

"Ii work here." Martha said.

"And wouldn't your superiors love to know what you have been up to after hours, Nightengale?" Jack grimaced.

A silence fell between the almost friends. Martha pretended to find the pavement the most interesting thing in the universe, while Jack jammed his hands into his pockets and studied the stars.

"What is going on, Jack?" she asked finally."and what the hell is in that file."

Jack turned to Martha and smiled sadly. "Its not for me to say, Martha, and it is not my story to tell."

"Then let me see it." She insisted.

But jack shook his head again and sighed. "I know this is hard for you to understand, but at some point you will find out. I know you will, but I made a promise to a friend, to friends. To keep this under wraps. Part of that included me, coming here to get the information in this." Jack brought the file from under his arm and sighed.

"I have a right to know." Martha asserted, eyeing the file and wondering if her UNIT training was enough to overpower the immortal man. It wasn't. But she still wondered if she shouldn't at least try.

Jack offered her a long, furtive look. He crossed his arms and spoke."Right? This has nothingto do with you."

"This is about Tish," she said.

But Jack tucked the file back under his arm and moved to the driver side door of the SUV. "Martha, I made a promise. Tish is fine, I promise."

Martha followed, grabbed his arm and raged. "Promise, trust you. You keep saying things like that but it means absolutely nothing. What right do you have keeping information about my sister away from me." She wiped a sudden tear from her eye and went on. "What are you keeping from me. Is she in trouble?"

"No." Jack nodded.

"Is she in trouble?"

"Not really," Jack sighed again. Martha could tell he was growing tired of answering her questions, in his eyes she could see a part of him that wanted to give her answers, and it was that part that both ifuriated and scared her to death.

Martha shrugged against his placated assurance. "Then what is going on? Dr. Talbot is screaming about patient confidentiality, I can't get a straight answer out of you, and I can't get the Doctor on the phone. Is this about him? Has he taken her for one of his trips?"

"She's fine Martha. I don't know how to put it any clearer than that. I can keep telling you to trust me, but in truth it's up to you to you. But," he threw the file into the SUV and sat in the driver's seat. "I cannot let you have that file, and for that I am truly, truly sorry."

"Now you sound like him." Martha remarked as she hung onto the still opened window of the vehicle. It dawned on her that perhaps the Doctor's part in all of this was far greater than she had originally accredited."This is not over, Jack."

"I know," he smiled.

"I will find out what is going on."

"I know." He repeated as he started up the car.

Martha hit the side of the car as he drove off. She was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of this, it wasn't that she was intimidated by Jack, but in truth she did not have much to go on. Tish had only been gone for maybe a few days, and worse yet, she had called their Mum and insisted she was fine. No policeman would count this as a missing person's situation. She would be Quixote tipping at windmills with no Sancho Panza to help her feel validated.

Windmills and white whales.

But she still had to know, and she still could not put off the feeling of wrongness in this. Sure, she had been the absentee sister since the Valiant; sure she had been errant in her insistence upon living in the now and letting go of the past. But, Martha had begun to believe that the past was something buried, but always rose from the ashes.

Sooner or later, the chickens always came home to roost.

Jack had his secrets, and promises, and he had the file about her sister. But Martha had skill, determination, and UNIT resources.

She also had her sister's journal sitting at home.

Home was the direction she pointed her mini toward as she drove the streets of London entirely too fast.


	4. To Each His Own

**Thanks for the love on this, i am on a writing roll this week. Scary that.**

The car made it home in one piece, which was surprising since Martha drove it at break neck speed. She had barely missed the file, but she had a feeling that Tish's journal was gone. It was like Jack to tie up all loose ends, and follow orders

And Martha Jones had absolutely no doubt where these orders were herding from. She knew all of this was for some reason, and in the back of her mind an idea began to take real form.

The front door of her apartment was unlocked. Of course it was, she knew it would be. Nothing in the house was disturbed, but Tish's belongings had very neatly vanished from the kitchen table.

It was in that moment that Martha wished for two things. One, that she had read that journal first, hurt feelings and scary realizations be damned, she knew that the truth was in there, and she cursed herself for allowing the fear of confrontation to get the better of her.

The second thing she wished for was a Doctor to kick. And a Captain. Either would do but both were preferable. They were both in this. In fact, Martha believed that her front door had been left open as a little note letting her know exactly who had been at things.

Fuck them both.

Martha threw her bag onto the floor and dropped onto her tasteful couch. It was a losing battle, she was beat on all fronts. But, the one thing they could not erase was her natural investigatory natural. There was something here, she knew it. It had all of the elements of a mystery that was just inside of her prevue, all she had to do was to connect the dots to form the ugly picture.

Martha reached for the pen and paper she kept on her side table and began to list what she knew.

One, Tish was gone, and all signs pointed to her having been gone for at least three days. Given the fact that she had not taken anything with her, Martha could only assume that she was not expecting to be gone long.

But she had called Francine with an obviously concocted answer for her mysterious departure. Why lie? To hide, Martha affirmed. We lie because we do not want others to know the truth.

Two, Jack was involved. Now that in and of itself led her to the idea of aliens being involved. Jack's mission is to protect the Earth from alien invasion. He had become close to Tish, knew her life better than Martha did now. They had obviously been spending a lot of time together, but Martha really doubted there was a relationship there that went further than friendship. The two of them seemed to need watch other on some level she would never understand.

Three, the Doctor was not returning her calls. Martha was as sure as shit that Tish was with him. It was without question in her mind, but why all the secrecy?

Four, Tish had been seeing a Doctor. A xenobiologist. It was a weekly appointment.

Martha let the pen and paper fall from her hands and reached for the phone.

"You've been to my house." Martha announced to the man on the other side of the line.

"Prove it." Jack fired back.

"What went on, on the Valiant that year?" she asked.

"Oh," Jack said. "Now you want to know? It's been three months and now you ask these questions?"

She ignored his tone and accusations. "What happened to my sister on that ship, Jack?"

"Why didn't you ever ask her yourself Martha? Why did you avoid any talk about the year?"

"None of you ever asked about what I went through." Martha answered, louder than she realized until it came out in a choked broken clip.

Jack quieted. "Come and see me Martha." He gentled. "We have not been friends to each other, but I have the feeling you need someone now."

Martha was silent for a time. "Will you give me answers? Will you finally tell me what's going on? Or is this tap dance going to go on between us Jack. I grow weary of this record, can we change the tune?"

Jack chuckled lightly. "I cannot promise anything except a free exchange of friendship."

Martha did not trust him, but she knew that if she could talk to him she would get something she needed, confirmation of something black and putrid. "I will be there in two hours." She answered.

"Bring cake."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She brought cake, rich opulent chocolate cake. Jack greeted her at the top of the Pass, rode down with her and hungrily eyed the cake as if it were the last one on earth.

They settled into Jack's conference room, Ianto brought two coffees but exited quickly. The words they shared between each other had been sparse, terse; they were words of people who had once trusted each other, had been through hell together, and were now in divorce proceedings.

"Thanks for coming." Jack said, digging into his large piece of cake. "And bringing cake."

Martha smiled at his childish exuberance, but wanted to get to why they were there. "What happened jack.' She spoke.

But, Jack shook his head, "Not yet Martha." He insisted. "First, I want to make sure that things are good between us."

"Between us?" Martha hedged, nervous that she did not have any idea the angle jack was playing.

Jack nodded, "We are friends Martha."

"Right," Martha sat back and folded her arms. "Jack, this is really not a social call, you know that. There is a real and present danger to my sister, and as far as I am concerned, you are one of the known assailants."

Jack nearly spit his coffee across the table. "Assailants? Really Martha? Do you really think I am the type of person to hurt anyone? Let alone someone I care so much about.'

"You broke into my house; you won't answer any of my questions directly. Jack, what am I supposed to think?"

Jack grew silent. "You travelled with the Doctor for over a year, you took care of him twice when he was unable to fend for himself. "

"I don't see what this has to do with my sister…" Martha waved, agitation in her voice as think=ck as the slabs of chocolate on the cake. "Where is she Jack?"

"Time lines Martha. I broke into that office and your home to make sure I kept the universe in one piece."

Martha threw her hands into the air, "Jack, this is going in circles! What the hell is going on."

"The truth Martha, there si no way to tell where your sister is. I know you are smart, and I know you have figured out who she is with. I don't know any more than that about her whereabouts. "

"Why? " Martha asked."What happened on the Valiant?"

Jack shook his head again. "No, you need to ask her that yourself. I wanted you to come here where we could talk without your feeling as if I am trying to hamper whatever search you may think you need to do."

Martha stared at the immortal man. "What the hell, Jack. Why are you speaking like Sonny Corleone's lawyer all of the sudden? Now I am really concerned about my sister's whereabouts. She is with the Doctor, I have no doubt of that myself, and I am starting to get the idea you will not willingly answer any of my questions."

Jack sat back in his chair. "I am getting tired of all of this cloak and dagger shit." He nodded.

"Then tell me," Martha insisted.

"And unmake reality? Uh uh, no way sweet cheeks. As tired as I am of hiding the answers and even living, I refuse to walk through the double doors of the hereafter with everyone pointing at me ans saying there goes the man that killed all of us."

It was evident he was not going to tell her. Martha wondered if the two hour drive had been worth it at all. "I don't understand how any of this can unmake reality."

Jack nodded. "Maybe I used the wrong example, but Nightingale," he added using the name for her that was only for her. "Please, you have to trust me on this. Your sister is in good hands. "

"Is she ok?" Martha asked in a small voice.

Jack sighed. "She has not been fine since the Valiant." He rubbed his hands over his face, leaving a mask of frustration.

"He hurt her, didn't he?" Martha asked meekly.

"Don't do that Martha. Don't add to your guilt. You weren't there because you were doing as you were told. You were the only person who could save us, the world. Hell, the universe. "

"Yeah, and my family paid the price, didn't they?" Martha fumed. "Couldn't save them. No amount of walking the earth will bring back my sister's smile, or my mother's joy."

"Martha," Jack reached for her hand, but Martha pulled it from his grasp.

"Couldn't save you either." She sniffed. "I was out telling tales, getting the world to believe in my fairy tale."

"They did." Jack nodded.

But Martha would not be comforted. The conversation took on a frightening timber. "Did he hurt her?" she asked.

"Martha," and he shook his head. Not in answer but in earnest affirmation of fear. "Just leave it. She is fine."

The chair under her splayed across the floor as she rose to her full height. "You have said that enough times Jack. Why are you being so evasive? Why even have me drive all the way out here for more of your cryptic bullshit?" Martha began to pace the room. "You say she is fine, with the Doctor-"

"I never said she was with the Doctor." Jack clarified.

"You have implied it. Ok, you are scared yourself, I get that. Then can we play a game?"

Jack settled himself into his chair and leaned back. "Thought we already were." He grinned.

She shook her head and spoke. "I ask you questions, you answer them. For starters, why is Tish with the Doctor? Why was she seeing Dr. Talbot. Is she sick?"

Jack smiled. "You don't have to be sick to see a doctor Martha, you of all people should know that."

Martha studied Jack's countenance; she wondered what he was trying to tell her. Jack," Martha hedged. "Was she hurt on the Valliant?"

Jack tipped his head back. "You are asking the wrong questions Martha."

Martha felt her head begin to go a little muzzy. "No I am asking the right ones, you just refuse to answer any."

Jack shook his head. "This is a mess," he seemed to say to himself. "Martha, the Doctor is trying to help Tish. He is the only person that can help her right now. He asked me, no _they_ asked that I not tell anyone what is going on. And, to be truthful it's not my story to tell. I have told you all that I can, please, if you don't trust me, at least trust that the doctor is not going to hurt her. You trust him, right?"

"With my life." She nodded solemnly.

Jack took her hand in his. "Then trust this. Go ahead, drink the coffee, I was never planning to retcon you." He smiled.

Martha offered him an embarrassed smile at being caught out. She took a tentative sip of the hot beverage and smiled back at Jack. "He is going to bring her home." She asked.

"Of course."

"In one piece?" Martha said.

Jack smirked. "You know him." He nodded.

"Don't I just." Martha admitted with a returned smirk.


	5. The Garden is Sorting Out

**Thanks so much for the love for this story. I know it is outside of the scope of my usual fare, but it will all come together soon, i promise!**

Martha awoke the next morning drowsy but fully rested. She dragged herself over to the coffee pot and fumbled out a pot of strong black.

Her mother was right, she had been holding onto things from the past that she needed to let go of, and as soon as Tish returned from her film festival gig, she promised herself to allow her family back into her life.

Jack had once offered her a job at Torchwood, and Martha wondered if the offer stil stood. UNIT was no longer where she wanted to be, and though Torchwood still held a lot of bad memories for her, she still wanted a change. Perhaps working with Jack was just what the doctor ordered.

The phone clipped its greeting just as she purred her second cup. "Hi Mum," she offered cheerily.

"Well," Francine noted. "You are certainly in a good mood today. It's good to hear."

The only familiar burn of anger wanted to rise in her chest, but Martha let it go, she smiled instead and put on a brave tone. "I am just trying to get my head cleared is all."

"Well, good." Francine said. "I wanted to let you know, well Tish called and wanted to let you know that the family party is Saturday. She wanted me to remind you to come."

"She'll be back from her trip by then?" Martha asked.

"That is what she said. Anyway, she wants to see you, said she misses you." Her mother's voice seemed to lighten. "You will be there, right Martha?"

"'Course I will, Mum." Martha answered. "I want to hear about all the gossip that Tish has seen at that film festival." Martha smiled; sure that Tish would regale them all with dishy tales of drunken celebrities.

Francine reminded her of the time and Martha made sure to again reassure her mother of her attendance.

She could not shrug the idea that there was something she was missing, something that had happened that she should have been aware of, like getting on the plane and the niggling feeling you did not pack any knickers.

But, the coffee was good and it lolled her back into a serenity of bliss that Martha found more than welcoming.

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing by the time she got there Saturday. Francine was busy making the rounds and giving Clive's girlfriend the stink eye. Martha smiled as she watched her mother smile through clenched teeth as Analise went on about the handsome Prime minister who turned out to be such a monster.<p>

"They have no idea, do they?" her mother asked her as they prepared salad in the kitchen. "They have no idea what went on that year?"

Martha shrugged, unwilling to go on about any of that conversation. She felt a headache threaten around the edges of her brain.

"Its ok to talk about it Martha." Francine smiled, in honest this time. "We have made our peace with it."

"All of it?" she asked like a small child.

Her mother folded her into a fierce hug, "Its better every day."

Martha allowed herself to give into the affection, realizing for the first time how much she had missed the closeness. She reveled in her mother's arms wrapped around her neck, and for an instant, Martha allowed herself to be five again. She wondered if her mother would be all right with kissing away all of the boo-boo's

"Can I get in on that? I could use a good cuddle right about now."

The two women turned to greet Tish, she flew into their arms as if she had not seen them in years they held on to each other for what seemed an eternity.

Martha hugged her sister, and then slowly eased back. "Goodness, Tish." She smiled. "I think that film festival was good for you. You seemed to have put on a few pounds."

"Oi," Tish said."I wasn't gone that long. And, nice thing to say to your sister, Martha. For your information, you haven't seen me in over a month. I was putting on weight before that."

"Girls!" Francine spoke up to break the tension in the room. "I am sure you will regale us with your many tales of debauchery in the American desert. For now, it's good to have you home.

An odd look crept across the woman's face, but a smile seemed to wipe away the ebb of doubt. "It was good." She nodded. "But it's better to be home."

The three made their way out to the back yard of the Jones' home. Martha placed her arm around her sister again and smiled as their brother threw himself at the pair.

"Oh, Mum was so worried; she thought you'd been abducted by aliens." He grinned as he picked Tish up and swung her around.

Tish's face again broke into an odd mask of sadness and forced mirth. "Nah," she smiled thinly casting a glare at Martha. "Only one Jones' girl for that."

"Did you have a good time at the festival? Bet you snogged some famous Hollywood star. " Leo grinned big.

Tish shook her head and smiled. "Nope, no snogging. It was a working holiday. Sorry."

Martha caught the odd glares, both of them. Something in the back of her mind nudged, but she waved it off in the bright sunlight of the Saturday afternoon sun. The party was full of relatives and family friends. Martha even caught family she had not seen since before she passed her A levels. Neighbors and colleagues breezed past as Martha chatted with friends and loved ones. None of them knew what the family had been through, and the Jones' were nothing if not provincial in their airing of family laundry. Just something not done at all, thank you very much.

It was three hours into the mirth before Martha saw him. He was standing too close to her sister. His long coat flapped in the gentle breeze as he considered Tish,

"What's he doing here?" Martha asked Francine who had just passed by with a tray of sparkly filled glasses.

Francine shrugged. :I would have thought you would be happy he was here." Francine noted as she looked in Tish's direction.

"I didn't know you invited him." Martha said.

Francine turned and studied her daughter. "He came with Tish. They are pretty close you know. The two of them, since…"

"No," Martha admitted as if in awe of the thought. "I did not know that."

"Well, it was a hard time for us there. They seemed to really rely on each other. She had to watch him endure some pretty hideous things. I think they formed some sort of …."

But, Francine didn't finish, rather she offered another tired shrugged, threw on her brave face, and walked away.

Martha watched the two; they seemed to be involved in a rather serious conversation. Tish seemed unhappy to see him, while he seemed overly concerned at some sudden sad look in her sister's eyes.

In fact, Martha felt her hackles raise as Tish seemed to burst into tears and run away from him. She threw her drink onto a nearby table and marched toward him.

He stood with his head down, a look of absolute frustration upon his face. He glanced upward as she got closer to him. "Come to give me hell?" he asked with his trademark grin.

Martha stood her ground, looking at him with absolute anger. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

He offered a mirthless cadence and shook his head. "I came here with Tish. For Tish."

"What is going on between you and my sister?" Martha insisted. "Why would you come here for her? And, might I add you are the last person I would like to see my sister with, Jack."

Jack shook his head again and averted his eyes. "And who would you rather see her with, hmm?" Jack asked with a bitterness that surprised even her.

Martha stood taller, braced her elbows in her arms and spoke. "Why did you make her cry? What? Was she looking for more than you could offer? Find out about your roaming ways, Jack?"

A moment later and Martha regretted her words. It was obvious that whatever pain Tish was feeling, Jack seemed to carry in spades. She wondered what was going on between the two. "is that all you got?" he asked her with a sneer.

Martha made to open her mouth in response, mostly a sincere apology. But Jack held up his hand and turned to face her. His bright blue eyes turned hard cold pieces of steel. "I would give every single life I had left to give that woman a bit of comfort." He began, voice wavering in emotion. "I have offered over and again anything to her, to be with her." He sniffed here. "She doesn't want me Martha, you have nothing to worry about. I am not the one who hurt her this time. And, if I could get my hands on the one who did…"

Jack brought his hands together and twisted an imaginary neck "Jack." Martha spoke softer.

Again, he held up his hand, "No, you don't get to comfort me. You don't get to stand there as if you know what has gone on."

"This is about the Valiant then." Martha nodded knowingly.

"Why are you asking me?" he fired. "Your sister just ran off in tears, and your first response is to come over here and threaten me?"

Martha ducked her head in shame. He was right. The fear of facing whatever had her sister crying was scarier than anything she had faced in the year she walked. The raw emotion in her sister's eyes, the sheer panic as her sister turned her wet glare upon her before running off.

Martha Jones was scared.

You know, there was a time when the Martha I knew would not have let anything come between her family and her. The Martha I knew was fiercely protective of them. What happened to that Martha? What are you so afraid of now? The Valiant was four months ago. I am sure you don't check under your bed at night for the boogey man."

Martha wanted to fire back at him, rail against her fears and feelings of survivor guilt,but, in truth she had her own guilt to deal with, had her own demons to battle. Trying to solve everyone else's was too much for her still. She was trembling well before she even realized herself shaking with a fear should could not name.

Jack noticed her trembling. He leaned his head back and blew a long sigh. "I don't expect you to understand this, so I am going to talk slowly and use small words. I did not hurt Tish. I will never hurt Tish. Whatever your sister is going through has nothing to do with me. Why don't you go ask her yourself?" He turned on his heel and marched toward the SUV parked on the street. Halfway, he turned and looked at her still shaking form. "He should have stayed and dealt with the shit storm." Jack spoke before leaving. "The damages here are way out of my scope of fixing."

Martha watched him go and pondered over his words. What did he mean about fixing? And why did she suddenly feel a sense of déjà vu at her conversation with jack. She had not spoke to him since before she left for Ireland.

Turning toward the house, Martha decided she was going to find some courage and comfort her sister.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She found her in the living room of the large house, curled up on the sofa. Tish smiled warmly at her sister and patted the seat next to her. "I was wondering how long it would take you to come and talk to me."

She made herself comfortable next to Tish. "I saw you cry8ing, what did he do?"  
>Martha asked.<p>

Shaking her head Tish insisted with her eyes that jack held no fault. "No, its just hormones. Must be that time of the month." Tish offered.

But, the look in her eyes spoke volumes, Martha knew her sister better than she would ever admit out loud. "No," Martha answered. "What is going on with you? I have never seen you cry unless its something really big. You were the one that used to poke me for getting teary at the end of ET."

Tish smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah." She nodded. "It's a lot of things Martha. Seeing Jack is such a mixed thing. He is such a great person, but..." she trailed off.

"he reminds you of what happened." Martha supplied.

Tish seemed to brighten a little at Martha's perception. "Yeah," she nodded, "But its more than that, it really is. I wish I could talk about it, but there are things that are…hard for me to talk about." She nodded.

Her hand found its way to Tish's and gave it a squeeze. "I am here, Tish. I know I haven't been since everything. But, I am here now."

Small moments passed as the sister's sat on the couch holding hands. "he loves you, you know." Tish spoke quietly, enough so that Martha had to lean into her to hear.

"I'm sorry, what?" Martha asked not sure if she heard right.

But Tish waved it away; she rose from the couch, straightened her dress and turned around to look at herself in the back. "Guess I have gained a little weight, huh?" she laughed nervously. "Oh well, it'll be gone soon enough. I will up my workout time at the gym. It'll be like it never happened."

"Like what never happened?"Martha asked, rising from the couch and moving closer to Tish.

Tish shook her head and smiled. "Come on," she smiled. "It's been a long time since I have had anything to drink, and I am thirsty."


	6. She curls her lips on the barrel

**Bear with me dear reader, a few notes before this offering.**

**First, i changed a lot of the three episodes i reference here, also i did not go into the actual eps, you can assume that they happened as normal. The action stuff stays the same, just the stuff in between has been altered.**

**Also, this is a shorter chap, sorry it was natural to end it where i did. Longer ones after this though. We are getting to the main course, so if you are hungry stick around. **

**And, wow you guys have really gotten into this one, i thought my initial warnings would have haired most of you off. Strong mettle you lot. Fantastic!**

Three months after the party, after things had finally begun to settle back into normal for her and her family it started again.

Tish was still not fine, but she was working on it. Martha even took time twice a week to go to the gym with her. In fact, Martha found herself spending more time with her sister. There was a weird unspoken agreement about what could and could not be discussed between the two, but slowly the rules of engagement were evolving to what it was, before.

Three times a week they met for lunch and talked like sisters. Martha noticed that her usually chatty amorous sister took little to no notice of the men who watched them when they were out together. Tish never poked fun at Martha's love life, nor asked about it any longer if Martha would mention tm, even in passing, Tish would change the subject, or simply ask another question. Martha began to feel a little like a magic eight ball.

What was left, was a host of questions. Tish seemed to be full of them now. She asked about Martha's job, Martha's life and Martha's plans for the future.

But, strategically sandwiched between these usual questions were often more unusual ones. Tish would ask about her time with the Doctor, places they travelled, things they saw together. Tish asked her one day if she would ever consider travelling with the Doctor again. Martha threw her sister a look of warning before shaking her head.

"Not even for a one off trip?" Tish hedged.

Martha took a long pull from her coffee before sighing. "No, Tish. There was far too much tied to that It's a long story; but no, I plan to stay right here firmly rooted upon terra firma."

The negative answer seemed to sadden Tish; she watched her sister stab at innocent greens on her plate. "Not even if you were given an apology?" Tish asked sullenly. "And one he really, really meant."

"Tish?" Martha asked with a sidelong glance. "Why are you asking me that? You talk as if you have heard all of this from another point of view." She spoke cautiously.

An adamant shake of the head preceded her answer."No, no, nothing quite like that. I just." Tish shrugged and suddenly found her lunch far more interesting. "I just think that the two of you should have had a conversation about, you know, everything."

Martha nodded. Something was there; she just could not quite get her fingers on it. "Well, be that as it may, I don't think that is ever going to happen."

Tish shrugged again, this time remaining silent as they finished the last of their salads.

The conversation left a lot of odd feelings in Martha's mind. There was something there, or possibly some conversation Tish had had with Jack. Surely, Jack would have taken the time to explain things to Tish. Things that involved conversations about the real love of the Doctor's life.

But Tish did one of her new tricks, and changed the subject. Some innocuous gushing about FIFA and new movies and some new song by The Black Eyed Peas.

But, as Martha listened to her sister's bantering, she felt a niggle; a small tickle in the back of her mind. Martha even caught herself shaking her head in the middle of their conversation if trying to shake loose some bit of information floating around in her nether brain.

She was falling in love with her family all over again. It was as if she had finally come through the darkness and into the light. She even accepted Tom's proposal of marriage. Something she thought she would never be ready to do. Wearing that large diamond was a great flashing neon sign to her family, friends, the world at large, that the madness in her life was finally coming to an end, that she could take her new role in and be what Tom wanted, needed.

And yes, that message was hopefully broadcast into the vortex as well.

What she never imagined, the thing she never saw coming, was the absolute certainty of his coming to her; to Earth again so soon. She had no choice, working for UNIT, they saw her as the only person with enough clearance to call for him. And, of course, she knew the number by heart.

When she called him to come, she never thought he would. She had told him to run when she called, but he had proven that a false accommodation.

She had worked herself silly living up to the recommendation he had given for her at UNIT, only to figure out that UNIT was not what she wanted. But, even with that knowledge, it was still in her make up to knock them dead, as he would have wanted her too.

Even when she called him back to Earth, she had known that her days with UNIT were coming to an end. Aside from the curiously, fearful looks Dr. Talbot now cast her way Martha was sure she had seen enough of the place.

He emerged from the TARDIS, and she felt her heart skip foolishly. Cautions brown eyes met across a small distance. "Martha." He grinned.

She ran to him, not caring who was watching. Martha stopped before throwing herself into his spread arms. "You came." She smiled.

"'Course I did." He smiled down to her. "You called."

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, just as the TARDIS doors opened again. "Right," the red head spoke "And God knows he was watin' on that call." She folded her arms and smiled.

The Doctor turned a glare upon the red head. She just smiled bigger and waved to the two.

As they were introduced, and small talk made. Martha noticed his eyes trail tot the neon sign on her ring finger. It was Donna, his new companion that spoke of it first, but Martha knew that the man missed nothing. He just chose not to be the one to mention it.

By the time they were settled into their Terran adventure, it was clear to her that he wasn't going to mention it. By the time Donna had left for home, it was apparent that he was not going to speak about a lot of things. She liked Donna, more because the Doctor seemed to fear her on some level. But, the Doctor had no time for trivial things, and Martha had learned long ago that included her feelings for him.

After the threat was over he asked the question that Tish had asked. Would you?

She wanted to give him the answer in her heart; she wanted to give him the answer that was on her tongue.

Instead, she went into the TARDIS, she went with him, and she knew there was never a chance at no. She told herself it was because she missed the TARDIS, one of her only comforts for two months while stranded in Edwardian England. But she was only fooling herself about that. "I will pop in for a moment." She offered. "but I do need to begetting back. Paperwork and all that."

"Of course." He nodded, sadly. A smile quickly covered his disappointment. "Just to say hi. She has missed you."

"Yeah, sure it's the damn ship that missed her." She heard Donna mumble under her breath.

"Just for a few minutes.' She smiled. "I want to make sure she is feeling all right after…"

"Right." The Doctor smiled. "Of course."

But, of course, things never go as planned, and Martha began to wonder if the TARDIS didn't have her own secret agenda.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time they left Mescaline, there was a sadness lingering around the old alien's eyes that Martha had never seen before. He breezed past the pair and stormed into the back of the TARDIS.

She and Donna had tried to offer him comfort, but his stern look spoke volumes about what he wanted. He wanted to go off alone, to suffer alone. In truth, she could understand it, hated it; but understood it. There was no one else like him in the entire universe. What platitudes of comfort could a couple of humans offer him?

Donna made a tick with her head. "Hungry?" she asked.

"I could murder everything in that rat nest catch all of a kitchen." She smirked.

"Oh, I guess you have been here before." Donna grinned. "I have gone in there and organized twice since I have been there. I come back for a cup of tea, and it's the same mess."

"He's not as all right as he tried to be all the time." Donna offered as they stood in the kitchen.

Martha spoke. "It's no wonder, is it? He has been alone for so long, Then, to lose a child." She shook her head. "I won't even pretend to understand."

Donna nodded as they made tea. "It's not like he constantly pretends to be ok, when he's not."

Martha gave the older woman a look of absolute knowing. "It's happened to him recently. He lost someone, an old friend of his, but a terrible enemy for everyone else."

"Really?" Donna asked. "It's no wonder he is so miserable."

"Has he been bad off?" she asked, hands stilling at their work. Martha was surprised at how much that knowledge hurt her to hear.

Donna nodded, "It's a weirdness about his demeanor. I mean, he's all weird, isn't he?" she grinned suddenly, "But its like, whatever he lost, has not quite been mourned. He's like my Uncle Steve, the manic depressive. All dead flowers and rain one moment, then-"

"Then he is grinning madly and running nonstop." She nodded. "Yeah, that's him."

"When I first met him, it was oh I don't know how this time thing goes." She smiled sweetly, "It was a little more than a year, for me at least. God only knows how this place ages me. But he had just lost Rose. When I met him again, he seemed better. Not as angry, but still. Sadder somehow."

She could feel her heart squeezing in her chest. "I had no idea you knew him then." She admitted.

Donna nodded again. "Yeah. Then he seemed all angry action hero. Now, he mopes a lot. Spends a lot of time in the infirmary now."

She nearly spit her tea out. "Wait, infirmary. Is he sick?" she asked.

Donna shrugged. "Not that I would know of. If his running is a clue to his health, then he is aa fit as a fiddle." She smiled.

Martha returned her smile, but she began to worry, couldn't help it actually. It was a family trait, carried on the x chromosome. "He seems healthy."

"Moody, but healthy." Donna agreed. "Maybe it's some Time Lord time of the century thing or something."

Martha's laughter seemed to foster Donna's sense of humor. "No, really, it's like every twenty eight years he's a normal bloke."

This time, Martha did spit her coffee out. She accepted the napkin and the 'forget about it,' wave from her new friend. "Donna Noble, I like you."

They shared a hearty laugh and barely noticed the Doctor's presence in the kitchen. "Oi ladies, this is turning into a hen's nest." he grabbed himself a random cup from the cupboard and poured himself some tea.

The two women continued to laugh as he walked over to the table where they sat. "What's so funny?" he asked.

Martha and Donna only laughed harder at his look of confusion. But, it was the cup in his hand that made Martha freeze in mid chuckle. "Where did you get that?" she asked pointedly.

The Doctor looked around as if to see if he had grown the second head Martha seemed to perceive he had. "I don't… I'm sorry… what?"

But Martha pointed a slender finger at the offending article in the Doctor's hand. "That cup," she accused. "That cup is from Tish's work. Well, her old job. It was a promotional thing. I have one myself. How do you get one? How did that end up on the TARDIS?"


	7. I Don' know if I'm dead or not

**Thanks for so much love for this. The trigger is set, and the Bomb Squad is on speed dial. And HS, hope i got most of the Boo-Boos here**.

His long fingers stroked the handle as he spoke. "It's a big universe, Martha." He noted. "I am sure this is just a coincidence. I have no idea how this cup would have gotten here."

Martha sat back in her chair, a headache beginning at her temples. "No, this is." She put her hands to her head and shook it "No, there is something that I have to remember. To forget." She shook her head again.

"Martha," he asked "Are you all right?"

"No, its fine." She insisted, hand coming to rest on the side of her head.

"No, really Martha," Donna spoke. "You don't look so good."

The Doctor flashed a look at Martha. "You sure you don't wasn't to have a rest? Might do you some good" He sniffed."Know I could use a lie down." He peered at the bottom of his now empty mug, and for a moment, Martha saw the sadness that Donna had seen. He seemed both worried about her and afraid of something. But she had never seen him afraid. Ever. It was not him to be afraid, it was for him to instill fear. "I'm fine." She insisted.

The doctor looked at the mug, rose from the table and placed it in the sink."Still," he spoke from over his shoulder. "Its been a rough few days, maybe I should take you home so you can get some rest. This life," he smiled as he turned to the women at the table. Martha was surprised to hear a weary sigh before he spoke again. "It can be a bit crazy."

"Can't it just." Donna smiled "But it's a good crazy."

"It is," Martha nodded. "I've missed it."

The Doctor moved to her side, "Still," he repeated. "It's a life."

Martha nodded, but let her head sink into her hands. "I think I am going to go have a lie down." She mumbled as she got up from the table.

The Doctor rose and followed her out of the kitchen. He grasped her elbow to help lead her in the right direction to her room. "I could bring you something for the headache?" he asked.

"No," she insisted. "I just need to lie down."

"Well," he said. "Have a good lie down." But he did not move, and Martha had the impression there was something he wanted to say, a question in his eyes. He opened his mouth to form the words but Martha, for the first time she could remember, was faster.

She held up her hand and shook her head. "Later, ok? I know there ae things we need to say to each other, but I am too tired and my head is killing me."

The Doctor nodded and moved aside for her to enter the room.

Martha thanked him and crawled into her bed. It was as soft and melded to her form as she remembered. She had tried for six months to find a bed as comfortable as this one on Earth. And, as she fell into a deep sleep, she wondered if the Doctor wouldn't mind her taking this one with her.

XXXXXXXX

The only hard part apart sleeping on the ancient ship was that one never knew what time it was when they awoke, or even if there was a time to be known. Martha used to keep a little alarm clock by her bed when she travelled with the Doctor, but it never kept an accurate display of time. She had finally convinced him to have the room lighten gradually for her after eight hours. It was the only way for her to get the right amount of sleep.

It was this gradual luminescence that awoke her this time. She felt better, and noted her headache was in fact, gone.

Martha made her way to the console room, but found nothing there. No one was in the kitchen either. Her only summation was either Donna was asleep, or they had left the ship for a bit.

Something that Donna confided in her earlier, something about where the Doctor had been spending his off time made her make her way to the infirmary, She did not even realize that was where she had been headed until she found herself in front of the door.

It was the TARDIS who had been kind enough to light her way, If Martha was a betting woman, she would have even believed that the ancient ship had led her there, had wanted her to find her way there. She had worried over his condition. Was he ill? Was there some physical repercussion from what the Master had done to him over the year? It was not a farfetched idea. The Doctor may seem to be this impossible immortal alien, but Martha knew the truth. She knew that, given the right environment, the Doctor was as fragile as paper.

The door opened easily to her hands, she caressed the wall next to her and offered a silent but understood thank you to the sentient vessel. If there was something wrong with the Doctor, she needed to know, needed to find a way to help him so he could continue to help others. All other feelings aside, she was still his friend.

The room was dark, but soft lights seemed to emanate from various areas in the room. Martha had been in here before; right after the Doctor had been infested by the living sun. She had insisted on checking him, and to her surprise, he had agreed. The Doctor even educated her in rudimentary Gallifreyian physiology. He had promised to teach her more, but the time never presented itself, and then he had left. Left him.

She spun in a slow circle as the lights in the room began to slowly laminate. The light never raised past a soft glow, but Martha instinctively understood that the setting was important, that the lack of light was more important than the light itself.

She made her way to the corner of the room, it bent into an L shape, and Martha followed her natural curiosity to see what was around the corner.

The turn led her to another door, another barrier. Somehow, she knew, she just knew where this was leading her; to a heart, a hurt. A truth.

She placed her hands on the door and sighed as it gave way to an even more dimly lit room. The room was not that large, but at the center was a large glass tube, bathed in near darkness, the light around the tube seemed to pronounce the cylindrical object. It seemed to be filled with a clear but thick fluid. Tubes spilled from the bottom of the cylinder. Martha could hear a beeping noise coming from somewhere in the room. The beeping reminded Martha of something primal, some ancient rhythm known from birth. The sound was a heartbeat, in a cadence she was not familiar with, but knew all too well.

In the center of the jelly, floating in suspension was something so small she had to squint to see it. She drew nearer to the object, advancing slowly and cautious of the alien equipment.

"I knew she would lead you in here."

The voice was in her ear, so close she did not dare jump. "Doctor," she whispered. She had either been too intent on seeing the thing in the center of the room, or the Doctor was far more capable of stealth movement than she remembered.

Or both.

"You scared me." She straightened and turned to face him.

The Doctor nodded, but said nothing. "What is all of this?" she asked bluntly.

He moved to the cylinder and placed his right hand reverently upon the thick glass of the tube. "How much do you know?"

"Excuse me?" she asked.

He spoke to her, but his eyes remained fixed upon the lighted tube. "You don't know anything?" he asked in disbelief. His brown eyes turned to meet hers.

"I don't have the smallest clue as to what you are talking about." She insisted.

"No," he sighed. "I don't suppose you do." He turned back to the tube, now both hands upon the glass, eyes focused on the tiny dot in the center. "I knew she would lead you in here, she " he took an odd breath, "she wants this out."

"Who?" Martha asked, a nip of fear running along her back.

"TARDIS." He ticked toward a wall as if that explained it all. "She would have made sure you foundout."

"Found out about what?"

But the Doctor kept on, barreling past her inquisition. "What surprises me, is that you did not figure it all out on your own."

She wanted to ask again, but knowing someone long enough, one knows what to expect in behavior. He would answer the question, but he was going to take the long way home. "The whole thing, I mean, is huge. I would have never thought it possible." He looked up but still would not face her. "tish never said anything?"

A blush crept over her skin as she recalled what Tish did say, what she had been implying."No," she answered finally.

He looked at her, but quickly turned back to the thing in the middle of the room. "There is a story here Martha, most of it is not mine to tell, but." He shrugged.

"But?" she asked.

"You have a right to know, don't get me wrong. This involved you, but it was safer for you to not know until al debts were settled. Well, almost all." He turned to her with an affected smile, more of a sad grimace. "It's a lot to handle Martha."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded. "And what does this have to do with me?"

"Mostly nothing, but this." He pointed to the glass. "Is a part of your future. Your family." He sighed.

"What is that thing?" she asked, impatient at his love for riddles.

He sighed again. "I don't want to be the one to tell you all of this, but she was so fragile." He shook his head. "It was so much for her to handle, she wanted nothing to do with it, and she had no way of getting rid of it."

"Who? The TARDIS?" Martha found herself trying to piece together the tale that she saw briefly in the Doctor's eyes. There was something there, something dark. It murked its way out from the glances he stole her way. There was something here she was not going to like.

He shook his head again. The Doctor turned from the object and faced her. He took her hands in his and squeezed them tightly. "Whatever happens after this, Martha." He began, a tremor in his voice. "Whatever comes of these horrible little things hidden here." He dipped his head, and Martha again wondered over the manner of his behavior. "Please know that I did my best. I did everything I could to keep her safe."

"You are scaring me." She admitted. "What is this about?"

"I tried to keep everyone safe, but I couldn't Martha, and no matter what I did it happened."

Martha removed her hands from his, steeling herself for the Doctor's next words. "Are you going to tell me what is going on? Or is this going to be twenty questions?"

"No," he shook his head. "I am just trying to find the right words here, Martha. And I am scared."

"You, scared? Then I know this is big."

"It is," his hand stole along the side of the vat again. "I have the chance to never be alone in the universe again, but the cost was so high, and the guilt." The Doctor's head fell backwards and his eyes closed. "And, I am afraid what you will think of me, what you will think of my kind. Of him." He pointed to the vat.

"Him? Are you telling me that is a baby?"

"A fetus." He nodded.

"Is it," she tried to choose what to say,but her heart was beating so fast that the words seemed to get clipped in her throat. "Is it yours?"

Fiery eyes turned on her then. "No," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"But you said never to be alone again, I assumed it was…" she shrugged, her voice tripping over itself.

"He's Gallifreyian," The Doctor nodded toward the tiny being. "Mostly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means what it is Martha." He said. "That child in there, not quite formed, but suspended in stasis, is a mostly Gallifreyian child. In fact, none of his human DNA seems to be forming."

"Human?" she was angrier than she thought she would be. Angrier than she would have imagined. "Wait, that baby came from a Gallifreyian, and a human? From where." But even as she spoke the words, truth like a bucket of water spilled over her and made her body shudder. It was that feeling on a rollercoaster, right as you realize it would be far scarier than everyone had assured you it would be.

"Martha," he pled.

"What human?" she spoke through gritted teeth this time, anger mixing with realization. "What did the Master do?"

"She was gone for a week, and you never askjed any questions." He fired to her.

"Who!" she shouted, cutting the tomb like presence of the room. Up until she shouted at him, Martha had not realized that the two of them had been speaking in hushed tones.

He shuddered. "Tish never told you about what happened on the Valiant." He started.


	8. Come on and get the minimum

**this chapter is for SadHappyGirl who's gentle reminder masked as a well being check, gave me the courage to write. I thought i was blocked, turned out i was just lazy. this came out between the time she pm'd me to now. Sorry all,got a little inside myself for a while. Will not happen again. Although, i am at an impasse with my other story, this one is hot for me now. So, all of you who want to review this chapter, thank her,**

**This one is for you girl, you are awesome beyond all words.**

She stared at the man with the sad expression, as realization crept across her own face, leaving it a mask of matched woe. "No," she whispered, shaking her head in defiance. "No,"

He inhaled deeply, still not meeting her gaze, and Martha wondered if the shame that she had sensed in his voice earlier had brought on his sudden shyness. "I thought you knew. Or at the very least, I thought you would have figured it out."

But she didn't know, and she had not known. Looking back over the past few months, Tish had let slip tiny little fragments of things. Sudden melancholies that were easily traced back to her time on the Valiant. Late night phone calls that never seemed to go anywhere, but went everywhere. Tish's sudden reluctance to date, or even look at a baby. They had once gone shopping at the mall, and passing Mothercare had rendered her sister to near tears. "How would I have known?" Martha asked out loud, but really it was rhetorical. "I have been avoiding any of this for months."

"That's not like you." The Doctor mused, "In fact, I thought you left to take care of your family."

His words seemed an accusation, and she responded accordingly. "Don't you dare judge me," she fired. "Don't you dare sit over there in your ivory TARDIS and pretend to understand. You drop out of the sky, wreak havoc, and run when things are too personal. You got me into this."

"Martha," his voice came in a soft soothing tone, but Martha would not be swayed.

She shook her head violently "Oh, no," she took a step back from him, back from the thingin the tube. "You bring death and fire and mayhem, and you never stick around to pick up the pieces."

He said nothing, and Martha did not expect him to. She had him, and they both knew it. The most vile and accusatory things she could say to him were the worst because they were all true.

They stood in the darkened room with the odd rhythmic heartbeat. "I don't want any part of this." She turned on her heel and fled from the room.

It was in the corridor where she finally could breathe. Standing in that room with the physical remnant of horridness that her sister had to bear, it was too much. The worst parts of it crept through her mind as she made her way to the kitchen. The voice intoned in her mind over and over. "She took the bullet for you. He hurt her, because he could to get to you."

Martha did not realize she had been mumbling this truth audibly. She pounded into the kitchen and slammed the kettle against the stove top. "Survivor's guilt." His voice came from the doorway.

"What the hell do you know?" she stormed.

He walked to stand next to her, as her hands fumbled over the makings of tea. Shaking hands nearly toppled the mug as she waited for the kettle to sing.

"Oh," he hemmed as he took the mug from her and finished the process her hands seemed to no longer how to form. "I know a little something about that at least."

A memory of two folding chairs on a strange planet amongst closed pharmacies precluded her mouth from forming another set of trite accusations. Martha allowed him to take over the tea making, even placed a second mug in front of him. "I suppose you do." She acquiesced between the counter and the chair.

He still had notlooked her in the eye, she knew now it was shame, it was a crawling mewling physical thing in the room with the,. Martha wondered if she needed to set out another cup for it. "Sorry," she murmured softly.

He never acknowledged her apology. The Doctor continued to make the tea, then brought the two steaming mugs of submission to the table. "You're shaking." He noticed.

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess I should be."

"It's not your fault you know." He tried.

"Of course it is," she sniffed, warming her cold hands around the fired mug.

He nodded. "Yeah, that never worked with me either." He sighed. "I don't know how to proceed, other than to tell you the truth."

"I don't know if I want to hear it." She admitted.

He finally did meet her eyes, and Martha had the impression he was looking for something there, something within her eyes that was no longer going to be found. "You haven't ever talked to anyone about it, have you?"

She knew what he meant, knew what he was referencing, "Who is there to tell? There are a handful of people who remember what went on that year, a handful of people who know what that man did to humanity."

"A few people who know what you did for humanity." He nodded. "You were brilliant." He offered a glowing smile to her.

"That and an Oyster card will get me home from work at 6." She shrugged. "It's nothing to anyone."

"You never struck me as someone who needed validation, or a pat on the head for a job well done." He answered, his smile long gone.

Martha dipped her head to avert her eyes from his, her turn to be ashamed. "Never needed it, Doctor, but that is not the point, is it? As far as that whole time is concerned, I could just be some mad woman, couldn't I? I mean, if no one remembers it, did it really happen?"

He reached over to take her hand, "Of course it happened, Martha," he assured her. "But that is the problem, I suppose, isn't it?"

She raised her head quickly, but allowed his hand to remain. "Don't you dare go all Emo on me now. This isn't about you."

The Doctor removed his own hand this time, "No, it's not. Its actually about what I did to you and your family. What you were all put in the middle of."

"This is about Tish, now, apparently." Martha began to rub her temples. "I have that headache again." She murmured.

He stood and came around to her side of the table. The Doctor reached into his coat and began to scan her with the sonic. "Now it all makes sense." He sniffed in disgust.

"What makes sense?" she asked.

But he shook his head, produced two tablets from somewhere in his magic pockets and poured her more tea. "Tylenol." He assured her.

Martha stared at the two tablets, not sure if she should take them. "Something…" she felt the headache blaze again.

"Retcon retrograde, I'm afraid." He tutted.

"Retcon?" Martha rose from her seat so quickly she toppled her chair, and nearly her mug of tea. "You retconned me?"

The Doctor stood with his arms crossed. "Do you really believe I would ever have retconned you?" he asked sullenly.

"I don't know," she fired. "You have kept quite a bit under your hat lately, haven't you?"she accused in a tone so nasty, it made her flinch.

He sighed like a patient father teaching a childhow to ride a bike. "No, Martha. I did not, and would not, have retconned you."

"You never returned any of my calls!" she accused suddenly, in a burst of fury. "I couldn't find Tish and I was beside myself with worry. I went to her flat; I even broke into her doctor's office! Why the hell was she seeing a xenobiologist—Oh!" Martha looked at the Doctor as if he was her jailor. "I remember! I remember it all.

It was as if someone had dumped a rather large bucket of ice water over her head. Memories flooded her mind faster than she could dissect them. The worry, the phone calls from her mum. Tish's trip to the film festival that never really existed. It was all there again, she was sure now. "She was with you." It was not a question, it was an epiphany.

"She had nowhere else to go, Martha." The Doctor sighed. "She was terrified, and desperate." He moved to the chair again, and nodded for Martha to sit down. She did.

"You took her onto the TARDIS, whisked her away." She seemed to hear her voice from a far off distance, as if it was coming from across time instead of her own mouth.

"Of course I brought her here; of course I helped her Martha. She needed to be rid of it, and I can't blame her." He turned his eyes from her again. "It was terrible for her, and what happened, it was so improbable."

"I didn't think something like this could have happened." Martha mused more to herself. "I thought everything was essentially reset."

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, well it was, but the problem here is how long Gallifreyian sperm can live." He offered.

But Martha held up a hand. "I cannot deal with this right now."

The Doctor fixed a glare upon her. "And then you can tell me when a good time to deal with this will be?" he snapped.

"I just found out about all of this!" she defended; she placed her hands over her head and let them support her troubles for a time. "I can't put this on top of all that I am trying to sort."

"What are you trying to sort?" The Doctor pressed. "This is so new to me; I have never known you to run from a fight. Not when your family is involved. You defied me in the midst of a tense situation to run to them."

"Don't make me out to be a child that needs minding." She asserted. "I take care of my family my way. I have had to put aside my own care for them time and again. I understand what they have gone through—"

"No you don't" he spoke calmly. "You have no idea. If you did, you would not have run out of that room like it was on fire."

She turned on him then, for a time, a small minutia of time; she considered some volatile violent act. She considered throwing the mug at his smug head, or dumping the hot liquid in his petulant face. She did neither, whether out of cowardice or respect, she chose not to consider. It was easier to again wrap her hands around the warm mug. "I did not run." She insisted.

"You did." He nodded. "And, as someone who was there, I can understand why you ran. But, Martha, at some point you have to stop running."

"You're one to talk." She snorted mirthlessly.

"You're right, but when Jack called for me to come help Tish, I ran. I ran to help her."

"Because it was Time Lord business." She accused.

"You're right." He nodded again, a quick but certain jerk of his head. "But I came."

The silence swallowed the small corners of the room. The two at the table seemed to be unable to say anything to each other. She had her excuses and accusations, he his truths and sureties. The thing in the room walked the corners, lived-in the silences, but at some point, both knew it would either devour the silence or their friendship entirely.

The Doctor got up to make tea again; he even produced a plate of Jaffa Cakes that were certain to never be touched. Martha listened to the small noises of the water filling the kettle, the fire under the pot. She listened to the rustle of the plastics he arranged the pastries on the platter. The normalcy of the moment was set to drive her mad; she needed words of reality to dispel the sick façade of normalcy that had taken over their space. She knew, knew, that she would never leave this kitchen again the same as she came in. She knew that the truths would let loose in their space and drown out the silences.

"I don't know if I can handle this." Martha broke the silence finally. "I don't know if I am strong enough to know what happened to Tish." It killed her to admit this frailty, but the unburdening felt too good to be hazardous to her health.

"Well, you know the end of the story I suppose." He shrugged in answer. "I would imagine knowing anything else is pointless."

But, Martha shook her head. "No, I need to know what happened; I need to be strong enough to hear this story. I think Tish tried to tell me, hell I think Jack tried to tell me. I think somehow they either knew that I was too weak, or they were try8ing to keep it to themselves."

"No one sees you as weak Martha. You saved the world. You ever consider they did not tell you because they assumed you have had enough on your plate to handle?"

"Yeah,' she smiled sadly. "The big hero, I can't even deal with something so small as a…a…" Martha let her head drop into her hands again. "Oh God, I can't even say it. I can't even say the word. It's so awful." She sighed raggedly, fighting the tears that wanted to take over.

"It's a nasty word." He agreed. "And it's a nasty thing to do to anyone."

"Why didn't she tell me? Wait." Martha thought. "She did try to tell me. She called me the night I left for Ireland, said it was important. She said that she needed to talk, and i blew her off." She gave over to the tears in her vision. "She needed me and I ran."

The Doctor reached across the table again and took her hands in his. "Its not as if you were dealing with nothing Martha." He soothed. "You were there for her afterwards."

Somewhere deep within her, something roiled, some dark thing crawled from atop her courage and it caught a breath, just for a second, but it was alive again. "I need to know." She spoke with steel in her words.

The Doctor shook his head. "Its not my story to tell." He averted.

"You made it yours to tell." She fired. "And, besides. I don't want to put her through it, the retelling. Its like when they sit you on the stand to recount the whole incident. You are never the same afterwards."

"You sound like you know about it." The Doctor spoke, and Martha could see a pain begin to form in his eyes.

"No," she reassured him, squeezing his hands to dispel his worries. "A friend, In College, I was there for her. It gets better, but…"

The Doctor nodded, sighed, and went on. "Are you sure you want to know?" he asked sadly.

"No, but I am sure I need to know."

"


	9. This Army Has So Many Heads To Analyze

**Faster updates, this one is started to come together, its early on in the story yet, so if you stick around, the pay off is coming. A note here, i know this is dark subject matter, and some of the views here may not be popular. I am building a story, and to that end, one has to suspend reality a bit. Rape is never ok, and i just want that known. to those who may be offended, or bothered by the story, bear in mind that this is a work of fiction and in no way condones this vile and disgusting act. I am just telling a story that few have told around here. Gimmie a break, and if you don;t like it,, for God's sake, go read something else.**

**To those still here, y'all are awesome,a dn i am completely amazed at all the kindnesses and support on this one. I cannot control the muse, i only simply live to serve.**

**Enjoy!**

She held herself as strong as she could, but he stilled watched her as if she would shatter into a million pieces. "Are you sure you want to know?" he asked with a small resigned shrug.

"I am sure its something that should be told." She countered.

The Doctor nodded, "how much do you want to know?"

"How much can you tell?"

He nodded again and stood. "Can we do this in the infirmary? He doesn't like being alone."

"Doesn't like being alone, who?" she asked in disbelief. "Him? The…the…" Martha found her tongue tripping over the words that would not come. Admitting that there was a child of some form in that dimly lit room was admitting to horrors her sister went through.

But, the Doctor was adamant. "I spend so much time in there because I can feel him, Martha, in here." He tapped his head. "He has a consciousness, he has a soul. But, he lives in that tube in a permanent stasis,."

"Oh my God." Her hand moved to her mouth. "It's alive?"

"Of course he is!" he hissed. "I wouldn't kill him. Couldn't."

"Does Tish know?" she asked before it dawned on her that the baby was a consequence, a side effect of what she went through.

The doctor made his way to the doorway of the kitchen. "It's best for privacy too. Donna doesn't know about any of it. It's not something I want to advertise to anyone travelling with me." He ducked his head a bit. "But, maybe a warning should be given. Tish knows. She knows he is here, alive. She knows that the chances of his growing into being a newborn are slim."

"Why?" she asked.

He held his hand out to her and led her through the corridors. "Let me explain things first, and then you can decide what you would have done. It was Tish's decision to keep him alive. I admit, I would have done it regardless, but she did insist that he be given a chance to survive."

"I don't get why that was so important to her." Martha admitted. They stood in the room again, the Doctor resumed his post in front of the incubator, and Martha found a comfortable seat that had not been there before. "I mean, if the Master…hurt her, then I can understand why she was so desperate to rid herself of something that lingered from that."

"It was far worse than rape Martha." He sighed.

"What do you mean?" she asked again.

The doctor sighed, and turned away from her. He stood in front of that tube, watching the small clump of DNA float in oblivion. "He made her believe…things. There are parts of my people that I am not proud of, and the Master was far better at those things than any of us."

"So if it wasn't rape…" she hedged, trying to quell the roil her stomach wanted to do in anticipation of what was to come next.

"It was rape, make no mistake about that. It was the worst kind of rape imaginable. She fell in love with him Martha." He spat. "Not her fault, it was his sick twisted idea of love that made her so confused."

"Tish isn't like that." Martha shook her head. "It's not like her to fall into things. I mean, Tish was always the most level headed of all of us. She would never allow herself to be manipulated like that."

"You did." He bit. "And then there is the Helsinki Complex."

Martha nodded; it was a truth she could not deny. She had felt herself falling, and could understand, if not entirely, how extreme conditions, coupled with a mysterious and powerful person, could be a drastic combination. "I see."

"Do you?" The Doctor asked."Your family was treated horribly on the valiant, but others had it much worse."

"But the difference is, Doctor, that they do not remember it. My family, on the other hand, remember everything."

He nodded, "Yes, they do. As do you."

"This isn't about me." She insisted. "Tish went through hell."

The doctor turned to face her then. "She wasn't the only one." He spoke softly. "Everyone on the Valiant, it was awful Martha. But you, what you went through, you are the sole survivor of that. We all remember everything there, we have that shared knowledge. You have no one that shares that knowledge. It's got to be a hard thing to bear."

Martha shrugged and looked away. It was her default response to The Year. No one really asked her about it, but when they did, when her Mother or Leo would ask about what she had seen, she found it easier to shrug away the memories. "Its moot, isn't it?" she spoke.

"How so?" he asked.

"Because." She shrugged again.

The Doctor moved closer to her, finally leaving his post as sentry. "It isn't moot, Martha. You saved the world; you alone saved the universe from a mad man."

Martha jumped from her seat and moved back toward the far wall, anywhere to get away from the Doctor's intense glare. "Stop that!" she insisted.

He held her eyes, no matter how she tried to move from him, he met her eyes and would not release them. It was like those creepy pictures that seemed to follow you no matter where you went. "Why is it so hard for you to talk about?" he asked, but Martha had the impression he wasn;t talking to her, more that he was asking a question out loud.

"Why do you care?" she flared.

"Martha, I care. I do. I have seen things too. It's not as if I don't have a clue what you are going through."

"You have no idea what I have been through. You have no idea what you have put me through. "

He turned his head then, and Martha was almost sorry for the accusations. Almost, but not sorry enough to end it. "You sent me off to save the world with nothing but a few words and a Vortex manipulator. That was a lot of pressure to put on one person."

"And a lot of trust.' He answered calmly.

She shook her head violently. "You were always placing things into my hands. I had to take care of things in 1969, I had to take care of things in Farringham. And, you dumped me into hell."

He turned from her again. "I am so sorry for that. I really am, but there was no one else. If it wasn;t for you, I would never have survived." He soothed.

"Really? Cause it seemed to me you were trying to be so merciful to the Mayflies, but their feelings for a few months of life were far more important than mine as your maid." She had not meant to take things here, but the train had already left that station. "And, it ended all for nothing, didn't it?"

"It did." He nodded.

"You never thought about what I had to go through then, why is it so important now?" she asked.

"I never had to worry about you Martha. At least, not until now. I never had to hold your hand. It was always you holding mine."

"And that is supposed to make me feel better?" she fired.

"No, it's the truth." He shrugged. "But I wish you felt safe to talk about—"

"I don't need to talk about anything!" she flared suddenly, her voice slicing through the frail silence of the womb like room.

"Martha." The Doctor tried, coming closer. But Martha flew backwards. "I have had enough of this. I really think it's time for me to go home."

XXXXXXXXXX

He dropped her off at her place, not even an hour had passed since she had left in the TARDIS. Martha threw her things onto her table and turned her back to him when he called after her. Martha was silent until she heard the ancient engines grinding in departure.

She had stormed out of that stifling room, not sure why she was angry, but sure her anger was both well placed, and growing by the second. The doctor had followed her to the console room and wordlessly set the coordinates to take her home.

Martha could see questions in his face, but the man was wise enough to leave it alone, and Martha was both grateful and disappointed. She had to admit that part of her had wanted to hash it out with him, but another, much larger part wanted to run home and bury her head under her sofa cushion.

She sat on her sofa, not sure what to do next. The anger began to boil inside of her until it became a near physical thing. She was not even sure where the anger was directed. She knew she was angry at jack, he was first on her list. He had retconned her, had taken away something precious to her, her own memories. Martha knew the Doctor had not sanctioned her violation, and she sincerely doubted that Tish even knew about the whole thing.

Tish.

As angry as she was at Jack, Martha felt a driving need to talk to her sister. To comfort, to be there for her. To apologize. What Tish had been through was more than what Martha could stand. She did not get the whole story form the Doctor, and she knew he was uncomfortable with it. His changing the subject to her feelings spoke volumes about his level of discomfort. Martha understood that, but she also understood that he pushed the wrong buttons.

But this was not about her. This was about Tish. And the thing that kept crawling into her head, the one thing that left her shivering in her warm apartment, was the idea that it could have been her. The Doctor had alluded to how she had fallen for him. It was so easy. Martha had never met anyone like him. He was different, special. Even with the madness the Master had in spades, there was that something, the glint of danger, the hint of mystery….the fact that he had held her hostage.

It was no different than Martha, forced to degrade herself as a maid, still found herself returning again and again to the man she thought she loved. She and her sister had a lot of differences, but essentially they were from the same two parents, and that left a lot of wiggle room for similarities too.

She leaned over to her cordless phone and called her sister.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tish was happy to come over. A little too happy. She even brought breakfast. Martha answered the door with a plastered on smile to match the one her sister had been sporting for months. There was little happiness between the two of them, but Martha swore that after today, the sun was going to shine again, or she would die trying to drag it across the sky.

"Martha!" Tish gushed. "This is great, isn't it? Two sisters having a spontaneous breakfast together. I even cleared my calendar."

"You never clear your calendar, Tish.' Martha said, trying to keep the conversation as light as possible.

Tish smiled again. "For you,. Dear sister, I would cancel Christmas."

They sat on Martha's rumpled sofa. "Tish," Martha began. "I just came back from a trip."

"Where've you been?" Tish smiled. "No, wait, you are having me on. I just saw you yesterday. There is no way you could have gone anywhere between now and—OH!"

Martha watched her sister's face go pale, then dark with that sadness she had seen in small bites since she came back. Before, Tish had been able to hide her pain, to keep it in a jar on the kitchen table. But, faced with the realization that Martha knew, she was incapable of wearing the mask any longer. She dipped her head down, and eyed Martha through glazed eyes. "You know."

Martha nodded. "I know some Tish." Martha admitted. "I guess I know the basics. Why didn't you let me help you, Tish?"

Tish nodded again. "I guess it's good, no right that you know. I wanted to tell you, but Jack insisted that it was better to keep you out of this. Well, in truth I guess I was so scared Martha. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to add to what you were already going through."

"This is not about me." Martha insisted, and wondered if she could get a dime for every time she had said that in the last month; she could retire from UNIT.

"But it is about you Martha, if it wasn't for you, that…man would be still tormenting all of us!"

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had to go through all of this." Martha corrected.

"No, no that is not true Martha. You don't know. You don't know all of it. I mean…" she trailed off.

Martha placed her hand on Tish's arm. "Then tell me Tish. Tell me what happened." She spoke slowly and tried to mimic the Doctor's way of talking calmly.

Tish allowed herself to lean on her sister. Both physically as well as figuratively. "You know what the first thing he ever said to me was?" she asked rhetorically.

Martha shook her head but did not speak.

"I asked him, what I was supposed to do. He hired me, gave me some trumped up overpaid job. I was so in awe Martha."

Martha offered her strength in the form of another nod followed by a gentle squeeze.

"He said. 'Just stand there and look gorgeous.' That was what he always called me after that. It became my name for a year. It was always 'Come here, Gorgeous.' Or 'Gorgeous, you are so silly.'"

Martha could hear the tears forming in Tish's words. She could only walk along side of her down memory lane, but Martha found herself wishing for a TARDIS so she could go back and erase the entire ugly story.

"For a whole year Martha, I was Gorgeous. I was at his beck and call. You know, I have never needed to be reassured about anything. I was never someone who needed to be told I was good, or special, or loved."

"You were the tough confident one, Tish. We all know that." Martha agreed. "You started a babysitting dynasty when you were 12. You had every girl in the neighborhood under you." She smiled.

"I did." Tish nodded. "I guess I read too many of those books."

"No," Martha interjected. "It was you Tish. You networked, and managed. It's what you do. And you are really good at it. You always had that death defying confidence Tish. I was always Tish's sister, because you set the bar so high."

Tish fell silent. "I want to tell you everything Martha. But I am scared you will think less of me."

"You'd be surprised." Martha said with anther gentle squeeze of her sister's arm.

"Would I?" Tish asked, she searched Martha's eyes for any sign of disbelief, but the honesty she found in them gave her strength to go on.


	10. The Dawn To End All Nights

**This was a really hard chapter for me to write, took a while to get it right. It is a longer chapter, and there is a big info dump here. Thanks to all of you who PM'd and reviewed to give me your support. I appreciate the love, and would welcome more!**

"HE was so…" Tish turned her head away from Martha, as if the words she was looking for were written on the opposite wall.

Martha nodded and touched her hand to her sister's arm.

She sniffed into a sigh, and turned back to face her sister. "He was so all over the place. One moment he was his normal ego-maniacal self, the next her was quiet and pensive. Then, the next moment he turned into this charming, normal bloke."

Martha nodded again, she knew the drill.

"He made Mum and Dad into virtual slaves. Do you know what that feels like? To spend a year watching your parents live in absolute servitude? Every day we were degraded on a constant basis. "

Martha had not been there, but she lived it to some extent. "How did everyone stand it?" she asked through the mask.

"Dad always had a joke and a smile. He said, we were better off here than out there. At least on the Valiant, we were scratching for a life. Little did he know, right?" she intoned sadly.

XXXXX

_She found him in the lower level, strapping Jack back onto the post he was held on. Jack had been held downstairs for the three months they had been there. The Master seemed to enjoy seeing how many different deaths he could inflict upon the immortal man._

"_Oh, look now Jack," her father smiled up at the American. "Tish is here to sing for us.' He smiled. It was an old family joke. Tish couldn't carry a tune across the street. When she was in school, she had been booted to being a curtain puller for the school play._

"_Oh I would love to hear a song right now." Jack smiled._

"_No," Tish smiled, "I don't want him to find out any more means of torture for you."_

_Jack laughed. "it can't be all that bad." He shook his now manacled hands. "Captive audience." _

_She shook her head, but the three shared an honest laugh. It was something not often done. Something that the three of them relished in; something that he could not take away from them._

_One of the guards peered around from his post to see what was going on, only to find the three had already replaced their stoic looks._

_XXXX_

"Yeah, everyone else had the benefit of forgetting. There was nothing to remember. But, us…" Martha trailed.

Tish nodded quickly. "Mum was as surly as possible. She gave almost as much as she got." Tish offered a faint grin.

"Mum is a beast." Martha agreed.

Tish dipped her head. "She often went without eating. She would haul off at him, and he would take away her food for days."

XXXXX

"_Mum, you have to eat." Tish implored as she held her plate out to her mother._

_The older woman shook her head and raised her chin higher. "I will eat when I am ready to Leticia." She answered. _

"_But, Mum.."_

_Francine pushed the plate of food back to her daughter. "This will not break us." Francine Jones insisted. "This is not going to break us, do you understand? If I accept that plate, then I accept that what I have said and done was wrong. I will not accept that. I have done nothing wrong. None of us have."_

"_Its just food, Mum." Tish said._

"_It's a bargain for something that was already bought and paid for." Francine huffed. "No. These bones are still moving. " She offered her daughter a rare smile. "It will take for more than a few missed meals to kill me off Tish." _

XXX

It was hard to hear these things, and yet, there was a comfort in the words. She knew how bad had been on the other side of the Valiant; she had lived in her own hell for a year. But, Martha was learning that somehow, the knowing was better. 'Tish…"

Tish raised a hand to halt any words that Martha was attempting to falter over. "There is nothing you can say Martha. It's done. The experience was bad, but it's over. I know that. Mum knows that. AS hurtful and humiliating as the whole thing had been for us, somehow, we Jones managed to prevail."

"We always do." Martha added softly.

"Yeah, we do." Tish said. "I just wanted you to know that we are all getting past it."

"Do they know?" Martha asked, surprised at her own blunt tact.

Tish sighed loudly. "They know that I was set aside from everyone else. They know that he flattered me and treated me differently. They know that I spent time with him. Alone."

XXXX

_He met her at the door to the common room. He wore a tuxedo and a charming demeanor. "Hello Gorgeous."_

_Tish ducked her head, not sure whether she was talking to Harold Saxon, or The Master. "Sir," she answered._

"_Ohhh," he tsked. "So formal now, are we?" He gave her one of his thousand watt smiles before offering an arm out to her. "You really should smile more Gorgeous. You have a beautiful face."_

_Tish did not smile, in fact, she fought everything within herself to smile. There was nothing to smile about, this was the eye of the storm. The moment where you never, ever run out of the house; false safety always lead to property damages, or worse. "Sir," she simpled._

"_Gorgeous?" he asked. "I'm hungry."_

"_I'll have Mum set something out for you, Master." She turned to get his dinner, but the Master held his her arm._

"_No," he grinned, "I'm hungry and I thought we could have dinner. Together."_

_She ducked her head further down. "I'm not hungry." _

"_Of course you are Gorgeous, why wouldn't you be? I practically starve you all. "_

_He led her by the arm to the table in the corner. "Oh, Fran, be a dear and bring us something. Something good, not the slop I feed you." He sneered._

_Francine gave her daughter a look before nodding and leaving._

"_How are you enjoying the Valiant?" he asked as if they were spending the summer in Provence._

_Tish offered a noncommittal shrug; it was easier than lying._

"_Oh come now." He spoke breezily as if he was not holding all of humanity by the short hairs. "There is plenty to do here."_

"_We have plenty of work to do here, yes Master." Tish answered._

"_Work, work, work." He spread his arms out and grinned."What do you do for fun, Gorgeous?"_

_Her mother saved her by arriving with their dinner. Tish thanked her mother but the Master merely shooed her away. HE tore into his meal, but Tish made no move toward her steak. "You aren't very chatty." He grizzled between bites. "Do you think the waitress spit in it?"_

_Tish shrugged again._

"_Oh come on now Gorgeous. I came down here for some intelligent conversation. Heavens knows I don't get that from the little woman. She has all the personality of...well a human." He dug into his meal and smiled at Tish. "You know, you really are a beautiful woman. I can't see what everyone says about Martha, but you." _

_Tish still sat stoicly, neither raising her head, nor touching her food._

"_And, anyway, she will be even less beautiful once I get my hands on her." He shrugged. "But you needn;r worry yourself about that. I am sure one less sister won't even matter in the grand scheme of things….hmmm?"_

XXX

Martha shuddered under the intensity of the memories. Seeing her sister's reaction, it was Tish's turn to squeeze her sister's hand. "If you don't want to hear it Martha." She spoke softly.

Martha shook her head vigorously. "No, no Tish. It's ok." She sniffed back something in her throat. "Look at me, you're the one that lived through it, and you are consoling me."

"One thing I got out of all of this Martha, one thing I cling to now." Tish spoke evenly. "Strength. Its like Mum kept saying. It was about being broken. We did not come back the same, but we did not break."

Martha nodded. "I bet she had a plan didn't she?" Martha added trying to add lightness to the dark conversation.

"She always had one," Tish affirmed. "But, he was always smarter, somehow. Guess it was that whole Lord of Time thing." She added sadly.

Shaking her head, Martha spoke. "No, Tish. You can't compare the two…"

"Oh, no I would never Martha. The Doctor is the opposite. Even on the valiant, he was there and he did what he could. When the –when he changed him, the Doctor could not speak, but he was a great listener."

"Really?" Martha asked with a smile she found impossible to suppress.

XXXX

"_Mum, there is nothing going on." She insisted for the twelfth time that day._

"_I am saying, if there is, it may put us into a good position. Men are the most vulnerable with their pants around their ankles."_

"_Mum, I—I don't think I could do it." _

_Francine looked at her daughter with a glare only seen on the Serengeti "You can't go all bleeding heart on it now Tish. This may be a good chance to get away from that maniac."_

_Tish was dumbstruck. "Are you telling me to sleep with him?" she fumbled._

"_No, " Francine shook her head and rubbed the tired out of her brown eyes. "I am saying to watch yourself. Don't let this become something that can trip you up Tish. Eh means none of what he says to you..,"_

"_I know that!" Tish insisted "Don't you think I know that?" It was almost a plea to herself rather than assurance to her mother. "I really miss my flat." She sighed. "And normal life. How did this become normal?"_

_Francine said nothing, instead she turned and pointed at the thing in the birdcage._

"_How is this his fault, Mum?" Tish ask quietly. "I don't see how you can even place this at his feet?"_

"_I don't see how it isn't." she returned._

"_Mum," Tish reasoned. "Harold Saxon lied to you the whole time. He had you convinced that Martha was in danger. He monitored us for months. How can you think that the Doctor had anything to do with this?"_

_Francine folded her arms crossly. "He had everything to do with this. He took Martha off and this crazy man was after him. If he had not taken Martha, we never would have been in all of this."_

"_No, you're right Mum. We would be down there, decimated. Running from those…things. We may not have it great here, but at least we are alive."_

"_Define alive." Francine said._

_Neither one of them really said what the heart of the argument was. Tish was there, but Martha and Leo were down in the mess that had become planet Earth. While they were assured of Martha's ongoing existence, Leo and his family were still unaccounted for. "Mum, you have to look at the positive."_

_Francine held up one hand to halt any further Polyannic reassurances from the younger woman. "I will look at the positives when they are in front of me." She fired. "Right now, I have to go clean the toilets in the Master's Suite."_

XXXX

Tish turned from her, stood and made to get up. Martha took her arm in a grip. "Tish," she started.

"I just need to use the bathroom, get a little distance for a mo, yeah?" she smiled sadly at her sister, and it was then that Martha knew that the worst would be told, but Tish needed to gather a little more strength.

It was half an hour before Tish emerged, red faced and noticeably determined. In that time, Martha had put away breakfast and made tea.

"Was it all bad?" Martha asked when Tish sat again.

She shook her head. "Well, that is a matter of perception, innit?" she asked huskily. "I mean we were there as servants. We had no idea about Leo or Angela or Boxy, or any of our friends and family. You have to understand Martha; none of us knew that the year would be reset. We had no idea that all those lives would go back to normal and we would be the ones left to carry the memories. Things were far more…desperate than they should have been. "

Martha nodded. "But," she hedged.

XXXXX

_He always came to her after everyone was in bed. It was a known fact that the Master only slept every few days and even then for an hour or two at a time. He never came without a guard, someone in the room to both bear witness to her shame, and to keep her from harming him._

_One sided conversations about his home, and his life. Tish realized at some point that she had become his confessor and an unwitting collaborator in his madness. He was fixated on her, she realized. His eyes often sought hers to see if she was listening, even if not speaking. Maybe it was her silence that kept him talking, most everyone talked under him, but she never spoke at all._

_He brought her silly things that meant nothing in their position, he promised things she knew he never intended to make good. _

_Five months into their nightly 'conversations,' and he leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. Disgusted at her lack of return, he slapped her._

_When she slapped him back, Tish Jones was sure she would be seeing the other side of that laser pen of is. Instead, he threw back his head and laughed. "You hit like a girl." He intoned, then kissed her again._

_This time, he did not slap her for indignantly shoving him away. He seemed to regard her with a look that Tish had no idea he was even capable of. Caring. It was pointless to mention his wife. She was nothing more than a means to an end. He often referred to her as the crazy one. It was laughable had it not been such a horrible situation. She had known the kiss was coming, had been surprised it had taken him so long to attempt something._

"_What can I do to get that smile back onto your sweet face, Gorgeous?"_

"_End this." She returned._

"_Anything but that?" he smiled._

"_Let us go."_

_He laughed then, a real honest to God hearty laugh that went on for minutes. "Gorgeous, I absolutely no intention to let you go." He answered finally. "But, if you like I will let your parents out, send them out into the world, such as it is. "_

_Tish glared at him. "Really?" she asked trying to keep the hope out of her voice._

"_Really." He smiled. "Of course, I cannot vouch for their personal safety out there. I don't know if you know this or not Gorgeous." He leaned into her conspiratorially. "There is a mad alien destroying that planet, anything could happen to them." _

_She shuddered, and her voice gave away to the fear. "You are insane."_

"_Of course I am, Gorgeous. Now, kiss me like you mean it, and maybe I will find that rascally brother of yours."_

XXXX

Martha soothed her sister's arm again. "Did he find them?" she asked, not really wanting the answer, but somehow knowing that it was pivotal.

Tish nodded, "Oh yes, he found them."

XXXXX

"_I Have a present for you." He smiled. Tish knew that charm, she knew he was the Devil wearing his best Cherub suit for show. For her. _

_She said nothing at his announcement, and he led her to tone of the seats in the conference room. "This is just for you, Gorgeous." He smiled. He opened up his laptop and displayed a live feed. Tish could see her brother, his partner and their five month old daughter. The three of them were huddled in the corner of a dilapidated room. Leo was singing to the little girl, as Angela held both of them. _

"_They don't look too happy, do they?" he smiled. "I suppose, they shouldn't be either. You see, I have them in a building, I know their exact location at all times. There are thousands of Toclafaine just waiting for the right command from their Master."_

_Tish continued to watch the scene on the feed. The three of them looked dirty and disheveled. She wanted to cry, shout, and hit the thing next to her. But, she held all of her reserve. "What are you going to do to them?"_

_HE leaned back with all the ease of Donald trump after a lucrative deal. "What should I do with them?" he asked._

"_Leave them alone,"_

_The Master put his hand to his ear, "I'm sorry?" he asked. _

"_Leave them alone. Master." She added._

_He nodded, then turned his smiling blue eyes upon hers. "And why would I do that?" _

_She placed her hand on his arm, summoned all of her strength and smiled into his eyes. "Please," she spoke openly, but she had to keep the bile from rising into her mouth to garble her words._

"_Oh, Gorgeous. You know how I feel about you."_

_She knew, and it turned her stomach even more. "Please, Master.' _

_He brought his arm around her and kissed her. This time, she managed to not gag, and Tish congratulated her acting abilities._

XXXX

"Oh, Tish," It came out as a sob, Martha had sworn not to feel pity for her sister, but there was no other emotion she could claim.

It was Tish's turn to soothe her. "No, Martha. God, please not pity. Anger, loathing, disgust, hell even apathy, but please, not pity. This was my decision,, do you understand that? I had the power. After that, after we started to…." Her voice trailed off again, and then Martha knew. She understood.

She brought her sister into her arms. "I understand Tish."

The two sat together on the couch, in the near silence of her London flat, Martha understood. There was power to be gained, even if barely tangible. She could not say she would have been any different.

"But," Tish started again, "Somehow it turned on me."

XXXX

"_You never respond to me.' He spoke as they lay in her bed. "You never give everything to me. Why is that?"_

"_Well, you are holding me and my family hostage." She spat. "Not to mention, the whole of humanity."_

_EH laid his hand on her breath. "Oh Gorgeous, I love how you always tell me the truth. Lucy is so….blah. But you. It's like having vanilla ice cream for years before discovering Rocky Road."_

"_I hope that is not a racial dig." She pulled away from him._

_HE laughed then. "No, no, this is not about me off to get a little strange. If I want that, I have a million different ways to go about it. This is…special."_

"_I don't see how special it is." He drew her closer to him, against her struggle. "This is me wanting to be inside of you."_

"_Think you have that covered." She tried to make it an off comment, but the disgust in her voice came through._

_He said nothing, but brought his hand to her temple, he gently stroked his index finger along one side of her face. _

_Something, somewhere, a fire was lit, a twig caught fire and burned. The fire became an inferno as she brought him to her again, and kissed him ardently. She wanted him, wanted him to touch her, to breate her, to be with her forever._

XXXX

"I don't know why Martha, I don't know how it happened, but after that. Things were different for me."

"Do you think he did something to you?" Martha asked. "The Doctor mentioned something about his people having certain abilities…"

Tish nodded. "Yeah, he told me about that. It makes sense, here." She pointed to her head. "But not here." She placed her hand on her heart. "I am so disgusted with myself, every time I think about it. But, there is still an echo of it. There is still that feeling of missing something, someone."

"Is that why you begged him not to kill it?" Martha asked, and was surprised at the contempt in her own voice.

"Him, Martha." Tish insisted. "It's a boy."

"I know that Tish, but it's still not alive." She insisted.

Tish rose and began to pace the length of the room. "I wanted him to keep him alive for him. For the Doctor. All that stuff the Master told me in that year, a whole culture decimated. There is nothing left of them."

Martha shook her head. "That can't be the only reason."

Tish drew in a deep breath. "No," she admitted. "That echo is still there. Like his drums. That constant echo of him and his drums."

Martha said nothing and Tish went on.

"The Doctor says he does not know if it will ever go away, but he says it will maybe get better. I can't go on with anyone. I don't know if it is because of what happened, or what was done to me. I don't want anyone else, and I don't want him."

"I know Jack fancies you." Martha smiled. "It will get better Tish."

"Jack fancies everyone." Tish smiled.

"He retconned me." Martha said.

Tish stopped pacing and moved to sit next to her sister. "No way!" she insisted.

"Yes, he spiked my coffee while I was trying to find you after you left with the Doctor."

Tish let her head fall into her hands. "I did not know he would do that. I was in a state when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. Jack was concerned about paradoxes and timelines. He said that the only person that could help me was the Doctor."

"He was right about that, but I still don't understand why he would do it."

"He offered it to me, said I could forget it after I got rid of it. I told him he was insane to even think about it."

"But there was no paradox?" Martha asked.

"No, I got pregnant the night he captured you. Well, no I got pregnant after the reset. "

XXX

_He was in her bed after she had heard the news about Martha. "Did you kill her?" Tish asked._

"_Gorgeous?" he feigned with his hand dramatically over his forehead. "I would never harm a hair on any of your family's heads."_

"_You are a liar." Tish insisted._

"_Of course I am." He smiled. "But you have no say about Martha. Our deal involves Leo and his little family." He rose off the bed and took her in his arms. _

_She tried to fend him off, but he had her in his grasp. He was insatiable that night, as if he knew it was the last. He took her three times, and seemed to relish in her fight. It was late morning before he left her alone naked, and hating herself. _

XXXXX

They cried together for an hour. "I'm sorry I was not there for you Tish." Martha sniffed wetly.

"No pity, Martha." Tish insisted.,

Martha nodded and Tish headed off to the bathroom again. Twenty minutes later, she emerged from the loo with what Martha could see was a genuinely affable demeanor.

"You were with the Doctor. Did he explain everything then?" she asked with a smile.

What do you mean Tish?" Martha asked.

"You'll do it then, right?" she asked. "I mean, I can't so it has to be you."


	11. That's All You Hoped It Was

She stared at her sister for a long time. Something inside, deep inside her twisted. She knew, knew what was coming, what was being asked. Her conversation with the Doctor ran through her head at breakneck speed. It all made sense now. It all tied up neatly into a nice packaged box.

She shook her head, once, twice, a thousand times. "Tish," she said, choosing to look across the room rather than at the sad affectation.

Tish shook her head in answer. "It's all right Martha." She sniffed, then Tish gave her brave face. "I understand. I mean," she lowered her head and Martha could see the shame on her face. "I couldn't do it either. It's too painful for me to…"

She was on her feet, rushing toward Tish and Martha could feel the sadness pouring from her sister. "I know," she nodded. "But maybe some things are left in the ether, yeah?" she drew Tish into a fierce hug. "It's probably better that he stays where he is, everything happens for a reason , Tish."

"Not everything." Tish asserted. "What if this is one of those things that you can change? Make better?"

"There is nothing that could make this better. It's just something that should not be. We have to get past it one step at a time. My helping bringing him into the world is not going to make anything better."

"Martha," Tish implored. "It's not his fault." She stepped back from Martha and began to wring her hands. "It's not his fault."

"Tish, I don't see how any good could come of this. Watching that child grow would only serve to remind you of everything you have been through."

"But, not watching him and wondering how he would be, its killing me."

"Then why did you terminate the pregnancy, Tish?" Martha had begun to wonder.

Her sister lowered her head. "Have you ever done something in a rush? My emotions were all over the place. I couldn't think, all I could do was see it in my head, over and over again. Martha I couldn't live the way things were then. "

* * *

><p><em>He stood in front of the bakery, hands in his pockets, face so far away she wondered what he was thinking, or remembering. <em>

"_Thanks." She smiled sadly. "I didn't know who else to call."_

"_You can always call me Tish." The American man turned and offered his best smile to the diminutive woman. _

"_I do always call you." She smiled back, though the action never quite reached either of their eyes. "I guess you are sort of my security blanket."_

_He took her hand in his, "Always, Tish." He "You know how much I love a good bed."_

_Tish averted her stare, and he could tell his jibe was not the right thing to say to her. "Tish," he steadied his hand before he touched her, and moved it fast when she flinched at his touch._

"_It's been hard, you know? A lot harder to put it all away, I guess it should be that way, but why does it have to be?"_

_Jack nodded. "Yeah,"_

_She knew she was rambling, but anything was better than admitting the truth. "Its cold out here. Let's go in and warm up."_

_Jack nodded and led her inside of the bakery with a small café. The scent of pumpkin spice and sugary bites assaulted her as she stepped inside and Tish felt her already sensitive stomach roll over at the odor. "This was a bad idea." She mumbled._

"_You want to go somewhere else?" he asked._

_Tish smiled at his concern. Jack Harkness may have been an unrepentant flirt, but he was a hell of a friend. She shook her head, took a deep breath and pushed herself to enter the posh bakery._

"_They have great coffee here." He grinned as the two made themselves comfortable on a sofa in the back._

"_I come here for the cake." She smiled. "They have the best chocolate cake here. When we were kids, Mum and Dad used to get a cake from here every Sunday for tea."_

_The waitress came over and took their orders. Tish ordered the cake and a decaf, while Jack ordered an extra-large triple shot. "Decaf?" he asked. "You having trouble sleeping?"_

"_Amongst other things." She nodded. "It's a lot of things sort of multiplying. I thought, once we left the valiant, I thought I could put it all behind me."_

"_You can, you know." He shrugged. "You can get past it Tish."_

_She stared at her hands as she spoke. "I don't think I can Jack. I realize no one remembers, I realize it just never happened. But it did. It did happen. All of it, all of the horrible pain and memories are stuck in my head, and no matter how many UNIT psychiatrists tell me it's going to be all right, I have a hard time believing it."_

_The waitress brought their order to the table; she was a young girl, probably still in university. She smiled at Jack's charming response and Tish felt a jealousy she was not ready to deal with. It was a realization that the smile the waitress wore was one of sheer joy. She bore no memories of pain and horror. Her name tag said Claire and Tish realized this girl was free from the burden of remembering. _

_Jack caught something in her demeanor as the girl left their table; he turned his attention from his large piece of cake to her. "What is really going on Tish?" he asked._

_Tish shrugged, "There are things that happened on the Valiant…"_

_He reached his hand across the table to take hers. "I know Tish." _

"_No," she took her hand from his, aware of his attraction to her, and hers to him. "No, Jack. I…" she looked down at her cake, and it was enough to set off what she had been fighting since they entered._

* * *

><p>"You didn't!" Martha smiled, glad for a break in the heavy cloud of Tish's memories.<p>

"All over the table." Tish nodded with an honest grin. "The waitress came over with a ton of wet rags and looked at me as if I had grown three new heads."

"Oh, Tish, that is priceless."

"By the time I had come back from the bathroom, Jack had the whole thing under control."

"Yeah, that sounds like Jack. They are lucky they didn't all get retconned." She was surprised at how bitter that made her.

* * *

><p>"<em>It's all right." Jack smiled as he helped Claire with damage control. Other customers had begun to stare at the couple in the back. They were whispering and some even got up to leave.<em>

"_Is she sick?" Claire shot over to Jack, and Tish felt anger rise as she realized that Claire had placed her in the category of a non-person. _

"_I'm not sick." Tish said, making her way back to her seat. "I'm just—"_

"_Pregnant." Jack smiled. One of his everyone is going to calm down and chill the fuck out smiles. "Just little morning sickness." Jack announced loudly, looking around the café to everyone, making sure the story was heard by all._

_It was all too much. Tish placed her napkin over her mouth and ran for the front of the café. She heard shouts of congratulations as she made her way to the front door. By the time she was out onto the London streets, she was in tears._

_He found her shivering across the street. "Congratulations." He spoke with a smile. "I was wondering why you ordered decaf. Who's the lucky guy?" Surprise overwhelmed his features as her crying ratcheted up at his words. "What?" he asked _

_Tish shook her head. "Think for a second, Jack." She sniffed._

_He did. He stood silent, standing over her in his protective mode. He stretched backwards a bit as the realization began to sink in. "I never knew." He muttered._

"_No one did. If anyone knew what was going on, well, even the Master didn't want certain things to come to light." She spat._

_It was an odd moment, for once Jack did not know what to say, and Tish didn't offer any prompts. "Tish," he spoke finally. "I am so sorry that you had to live through that."_

"_As if pity is going to make everything better." But immediately regretted snapping at him. "Look, just leave the pity for those who don't remember, ok? The things I did, I did."_

"_He didn't force you?" Jack strained._

"_Not in the ways you would think."_

_They began to walk toward Jack's car. The SUV stood dark and ominous against the bleak London November. "I know you really don't want to talk about it."_

"_You're right; I am tired of talking about what happened. I have three UNIT professionals for that."_

"_But if you ever do need to talk about it." He finished._

"_What I need is help. Jack. I have no intentions of going through with this pregnancy."_

_He stopped then, placed his hands on her shoulders. "You mean you really are pregnant?" he asked shocked._

_She huffed in exasperation. "Why the hell else did I call you down here from Cardiff? For coffee and puke? I need your help. You have told me you work for Torchwood, big alien hunter. Well, I got an alien for you to hunt."_

* * *

><p>"He was as shocked as you were, Martha. He had no idea what happened on the Valiant."<p>

"But the guards?" she asked.

"No one wants to talk about something they were not sure even existed. Most of them were put in jail anyway for the murder of the President."

Tish was right. The blow back from the Valiant was one giant shit storm. "And some ended up sectioned." She nodded.

"Fanciful stories of aliens and missing years. No one wants to hear anything that messes with their sense of reality. Especially Americans. They just wanted to know that the assassination was accounted for."

Martha nodded. She knew a little something about denial and bad memories left t in the far corners of existence. "He got you into the xenobiologist?" she asked.

"Oh, you know about him? Squirrely little shit wanted to get him out and dissect him. He had a hard on for that embryo from the moment he found out. No, Jack didn't get me in to see him. Jack wanted me to come to Torchwood, have Owen look me over."

"Oh," Martha grinned. "Owen."

* * *

><p>"<em>You need to get checked out." Jack insisted.<em>

"_No, really?" she bit._

"_Tish, I realize this is not a great situation for you, but any number of things could be wrong with this. Any number of their biology could affect yours in ways you are not capable of understanding."_

"_Right," she nodded. "'Cause I am just a stupid ape with no knowledge of how the universe works." She realized too late that she had gone on the defense; that the Master's words were still rambling through her head at breakneck speed._

"_Tish," he pled._

_She shook her head as they stood by his car. "It's not you." She wiped a tear away. "I don't mean to snap."_

"_Hormones." He nodded. "Been there, did it, got the shirt." He grinned. "Look, why don't you come to Torchwood with me? We can get everything looked at."_

_She nodded, "Ok, we can go to Torchwood, but you get to explain about your pregnancy."_

"_Deal." He grinned._

* * *

><p>"But, as things usually go with Jack, we never made it to Torchwood that day."<p>

"Weevil attack?" Martha asked knowingly.

"Yeah, he dropped me off at home. I got the referral for the xenobiologist from my therapist. I had

to tell her what was going on."

"That must have been fun." Martha groaned/

"She was the one that sent me over to Dr. Talbot. He was just thrilled to have a chance at a vivisection."

* * *

><p>"<em>Miss Jones," he grinned big in that false salacious manner Tish was accustomed to. "We have a few options regarding your…situation."<em>

_The fact that he could not use the word 'pregnancy' irked Tish. It was as if the too young doctor wanted to build as big of a void between the actuality and the reality. Tish was done with false realities. In the three weeks she had been coming to see him, he still had not used the word. He reported that the test was positive. Dr. Talbot announced that the ultrasound was conclusive, but never once did he confirm the pregnancy. The morning sickness, bloating and anxiety were all too real for her to set aside in the name of science. "I'm pregnant."_

_Dr. Talbot nodded, leaned back in his chair and waved away her assertion. "The fact is," he hemmed. "Is that no one here really knows what you can expect with your situation. Prolonged exposure to alien biology could present hazards to your health as well as endanger the lives of everyone on this planet."_

"_It's a baby, it's not a disorder or a matter of national security."_

_He leaned forward. "You're here aren't you?" he sniffed arrogantly. "And, anyway, the species in question may or may not pose a danger to the public at large."_

"_Really?" Tish asked, arms folded. "Species? Can you get any more clinical?"_

_But, the good doctor continued on as if Tish had not called his bedside manner into question. "I mean, that the being responsible has a history of torture, enslavement of the human race, murder and out right genocide." _

_Tish stood to get up. "I think I have heard enough." She said. "I have come here three times, and in each one of these visits, you have done little else but trying to convince me to terminate this preganancy."_

_Dr. Talbot stood himself. "Miss Jones, the fact is, this is a very tenable situation. Retention of this condition is a threat."_

"_You just want the tissue." She asserted. Tish grabbed her purse from the floor and headed for the door. "I think I will see my sister, she seems to have a better handle on alien biology."_

"_I bet she does." He sneered from his perch behind his desk. "But the truth is, you know I am right. Dr. Jones is too far into this to give you any sort of rational medical advice."_

_Tish turned the door handle, fighting with her own temper to keep from killing the smarmy man "And you have your own agenda." She accused._

_He moved quickly, faster than Tish had expected. He was young, true, but he also seemed to be more professionally invested in her pain than she had thought. "Tish," he started, reached out to grab her arm. Tish moved faster, angled away from him and cast a dangerous look in his direction, but her glare did nothing to ward off the man. "Do you really want a constant reminder of what has been done to you? Even if you go forth with this pregnancy, was is going to happen to that child? Do you really want to look on that face every day for the rest of your life?"_

"_Get the hell away from me." She warned, finally deciding that an audible flare shot would be heard better than her covert one. _

_He raised his hands in mock surrender. "I am just trying to help you." He grinned salaciously._

"_And your career." She abated._

_Dr. Talbot shook his head. "No, well maybe." He nodded then, duplicitous in his actions. "But think, Tish. Will the world let that child exist? I know about it, and I am sure I am not the only one."_

"_Is that a threat?" she asked _

"_No, but hear me out. Anyone with the right information can do simple maths. Anyone who really wants that infant can get to it. How would you keep him safe?"_

_She opened the door without another word and left. Tish knew the doctor watched her leave, she could feel his beady grey eyes follow her on her path to the elevator. She kept her head raised against his glare, just so he knew he had not beaten her. _

_But, the truth of his words rang through her head, and all the way home, it was all she could think of. She didn't want to go crawling to anyone, but she knew that the list of people able to help her was short, really short. She called Martha. The two of them had not been close over the past three months since the Valiant. The phone rang four times and went to voicemail. The chipper voice on the other end offered Tish the option to leave a message. Her finger poised over the end button, but at the last moment, she made a decision._

* * *

><p>"I am so sorry I wasn't there for you," Martha spoke, not sure of what else to say.<p>

Tish took her sister's hand. "It's in the past, Martha." She assured her. "And, anyway, it worked out for the best. Dr. Talbot was right, you know. You were far too close to the situation. I needed an impartial voice, someone who would look at the entire situation and give me a completely honest answer."

Martha nodded. "You called Jack again."

"No," Tish smiled. "He called me."

* * *

><p><em>She had put her feet up, a cup of tea cooled on the coffee table beside her. Martha was not going to call her back, it had only bee fifteen minutes, but Tish was certain that her sister would not get back to her before she had to make a decision.<em>

_She reached for her cell phone again, determined to call Martha and make a more pleading request. Just as she picked up the phone, it rang in her hand._

"_How's that cold?" Jack asked mysteriously. "You taking anything for it?"_

_It took seconds of silence for her to realize what he really meant. "Still coughing and wheezing." She answered in that same mysterious cadence. "I've been seeing a doctor about it."_

"_Talbot, right?" he answered._

_The fact that he knew exactly which doctor she had been seeing made her nervous. Jack's demeanor, coupled with Talbot's threats, sent her into high alert. "Yeah, he's a good one." _

"_Well, I brought you some chicken soup. Sorry to make you come out in this weather, but I'm in a hurry, so can you come downstairs and get it"_

_Tish was amazed at how good he was at this. Proper cloak and dagger. It would have been fun if she wasn't sure she was the one in danger. Well, her and her baby. "Great, Jack. You are a lifesaver! Good ole Jewish penicillin. " She forced joviality in her voice, but her heart was pounding so loud she was sure it was audible through the connection._

_He disconnected and Tish rose to her feet. She pocketed her cell phone, grabbed her mug of tea and ran downstairs. As far as anyone watching would know, she was getting some soup from a friend. She didn't even take her purse._

* * *

><p>"How did you know?" Martha asked.<p>

Tish shrugged and shook her head. "You know, if you would have asked me at the time, I would have merely said it was intuition. But there was something different, Martha.. It was like this inherent need to protect that baby. It was as if I could hear what Jack was really saying. I grabbed my mug of tea, so that if anyone was watching me get into Jack's SUV, they would assume I was just having a chat with my friend. I was never one to believe in mother's intuition," she shrugged again. "But, it's the only thing I can pin it as."

"What was Jack so worried about?" she asked.

* * *

><p><em>She slid into the passenger side of the large vehicle. Jack sat in front of the wheel, an easy smile on his face, but his eyes hooded and worried. <em>

_She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head, started the car, and took off. _

_It was halfway down the M-5 on their way to Cardiff before he spoke. "So I get an alert that there is a situation that involved Unit and all of Torchwood." He began._

"_Oh?" she asked, but nodded. Tish did not need to be told what it was about._

"_You need to leave for a while." Jack went on._

"_Ok," she nodded unsure._

"_This has become a matter for worldwide security, Tish. The FBI, CIA, UNIT, MI-5, and a few other organizations you should not know about. I have to make you disappear and make this all go away as well." He glanced over to gauge her emotions, "Its serious Tish. I got to you before anyone else, I think they forgot how friendly we are. But, the order was to get to you at all costs. "_

"_They want the baby." She nodded._

"_What they want is unclear, I don't even think they are sure of it yet, but Harold Saxon was a dangerous man, and the Master was a dangerous being of unknown origin. They don't even have a protocol for this sort of situation." He shook his head. "I have to make sure they don't get to you, or that baby."_

_Tish leaned against the door, her head rested upon the chilly window. "Thanks for keeping us safe." She sighed._

_Jack shook his head. "You know how I feel about you Tish," he offered with an odd look. "But in all honesty, this is way bigger than just trying to keep the two of you safe. I can't let them get a hold of any part of that baby. The Master was like the Doctor, a Time Lord's anatomy is an impossible thing, even tissue of a child that has that DNA could change the face of existence as we know it."_

_Tish raised her head. "What, are they gods or something."_

_Jack laughed, "Well, the lot of them would have liked to think they were." He shook his head. "No, they aren't gods, but in the face of our technology, they may as well be."_

_Tish nodded, it was like an ant having the means to achieve world domination. Sure, given the right circumstances, they could do it, but who would want to live in that universe. "I get it."_

_They drove for two hours, Jack seemed perpetually on edge, and he ignored his phone when it rang. Ten minutes from their destination he spoke again. "I'm taking you to the Hub, to Torchwood. I would rather not take you there, but I made a phone call, and we are expecting a guest."_

_She sat up straighter at that. "A guest? Is that such a good idea? I mean, the fewer people who know where I am, the better." Tish dragged her hands through her hair as she spoke._

"_Oh," Jack smiled an honest brilliant smile. "We want this guest."_

* * *

><p>"The Doctor." Martha nodded.<p>

"He was there about five minutes after we arrived. Jack said he had to leave a message, that the doctor had not answered the phone."

Martha nodded, remembering how difficult it had been for her to reach him while she was lookingfor Tish. "He didn't know the number." She smiled.

"That Torchwood, what I saw of it, was outside of anything my imagination could ever dream up." She shook her head, and Martha laughed. "Did you see the pterodactyl? She asked.

Tish nodded. "And then some. Jack kept telling me to suspend my reality for a while, I kept pinching myself to make sure I wasn't still home on the couch."

They shared a small laugh, and Martha could tell that the story was coming easier for her. She had a million questions, but knew from experience that her sister was going to tell the story her way, and in her own time. Rushing it would only hinder the progress that her sister was making. Martha could see relief written over her sister's face, and the burden of her secrets was easing in the sharing. They morning had long since departed into afternoon, and the sun danced a hazy late fall glow across the room.

"Martha," Tish began again. "When the Doctor came, he was. It seemed like he was expecting to see you."

* * *

><p><em>She had never seen the magical box appear. It seemed to draw life from nothing. The entire room danced and illuminated.<em>

_Jack stood next to her, as the rest of his team seemed to be as in awe of the materialization as she had been. But, jack stood stoic and ready. When the blue door opened, it was as if the room held its collective breath. _

_He popped his head out first, as if ready for an attack. His elfish face lit up when he saw Jack. "Well, nice place you have here, Jack." The Doctor announced as he fully emerged. "Not what I would have done with the place, but you know." The Doctor turned around taking in the entire scene. "Oh, haven't seen one of those in ages." He grinned, pointing to something in the distance, "Oh, and you shouldn't have one of those, Jack. I think I may have to confiscate that." He stormed over to something he had seen._

"_Doctor," Jack tried to get the alien refocused. "I didn't call you here for redecorating tips. "_

"_Well," the Doctor went on from over his shoulder, "Why not, its obvious you need it."_

_Jack moved closer to the Doctor, tapped his shoulder and spoke. "Doctor, this is important." He announced._

_The Doctor stopped ogling the alien equipment in the Hub and turned to face Tish. "Oh?" he asked."Oh," he finally noticed Tish in the room. "Tish?" he asked confused. Where's Martha, is she all right?"_

_Jack turned to Tosh, Owen and Gwen. "I need you guys to do what we talked about, agreed? Find everything you can, bury it, burn it, quash it, and do whatever it takes. I don't need to remind you all of how quiet this all has to be. This is home territory; let's take care of our own. I am going to take these two for a bit." He pointed to the conference room._

"_Jack," the Doctor's voice had turned dark and serious. "Where is she, what's happened?"_


	12. A Break Form the Warfare In Your House

**Longer chapters, its a good thing. this is starting to take off, thanks for all of the love,please keep it flowing i love to hear what you all think, or if i have lost my mind (i have). Let me know. **

It was late, later than she had realized. Funny how memories can cloud the vision of time and seem to eat the present hours into nothing.

"It's late." Tish surmised with a stretch that informed Martha that story time was over. "Yeah, I have no idea where the time went."

Tish stood on shaky legs; she offered a bleak but hopeful smile to her younger sister. "Thanks for listening," she added with a hug.

Martha enfolded her sister into her arms and held fast. "Thanks for telling." She walked her sister out to her car. The late evening cold seeped into her tired bones. It was too late to do anything else but look for dinner and crawk into a hot tub of water. Martha wasn't sure if the knowing was better. Tish had left the story at Torchwood, and Martha assumed that was all she was willing to tell. Sometimes people leave things unsaid, or come back to it later. Or, simply choose not to offer anything wlse at all.

Tish dropped into the driver's seat of her late model car. "Martha," she began as the younger women leaned into the window. "I meant what I said before.

Martha's quizzical look made Tish smile. "What?" she asked.

Tish started her car as Martha shivered in the night cold. "He really is sorry." She offered.

Martha shook her head. That Tish, after all she had gone through and survived, was still trying to mend fences between herself and the Doctor was a testament to the strength this woman carried. A strength Martha wondered if she would ever be able to match. "Tish," she warned.

A small hand came from the inside of the car to hold her arm. "Martha," she spoke. "Some things arejust meant to be, and sometimes things happen, bad things. Things we have no control over. Its how we make them good that counts. What I went through, there was some good of it, you know?"

She couldn't find it, and Martha was certain she had no intention of looking for it either, but she nodded none the less.

"Tish patted her arm, "What I went through, there was some good. There still could be some good come of it. I don't want to pressure you, or see you do something just to do the right thing." She turned her eyes downward at that. "You have done enough of that."

"Tish, it was nothing." She shook er head. Martha hated when people gave her some status of great hero. She wanted to acknowledge Tish's strength, never her own.

"It was something." Tish answered fiercely. "Don't put that aside. I don't think anyone would have done what you did. Or could have for that matter." She sighed here and looked out the front window. "I always assumed that it was so easy for you. You came back and went right on with your life. Found a great guy, moved on. But…" she shook her head.

The garage was cold, but it was not the night chill blowing under Martha's pea coat that made her shiver. She shrugged and moved away from the car.

"Yeah," Tish nodded. "I figured." She sighed again. "The only person that can help you is you, Martha. But I would bet every single dollar in Mum's secret account that there is someone who would be there for you. You need to let him in." With that, Tish slipped the car into reverse and pulled away.

Martha gave her a silent wave, tucked her coat around her face and headed toward the house.

XXXXXXXXXX

The next day, Martha did three things.

First, she went to see Dr. Talbot. Her fingers clenched into fists on either side of her torso, she paced in front of his parking space as she had done before.

This time, there were no smiles or offers for tea. The good doctor exited his Honda element with his briefcase in front of him like a shield. "Dr. Jones." He said.

Martha held her fists still at her sides as she advanced upon the younger man. She said nothing as she got closer. Dr. Talbot eased himself against his car, briefcase still wielded in front of him. "You broke into my office." He accused.

"Prove it." She hissed.

He shook his head. "You know I can't."

"Oh, I know." Martha nodded slowly. "I also know what you did."

A smirk crossed the slimy man's face. "Prove it." He answered.

Without another word, and with all of the speed of a woman who had walked the Earth, she threw her left fist and connected with his face. He crumpled onto the ground; the contents of his briefcase spread across the parking lot, flapped in the fall breeze and blew away.

Martha turned, shaking her stinging hand. He had the good sense to say nothing to her as she stormed off.

The second thing Dr. Martha Jones did was tender her resignation to UNIT, effective immediately.

As she packed up her office under the intense scrutiny of Colonel Mace and two guards, she pondered over the journey she had taken, and how many miles she had left to tread. She was not so sure of where the path would take her, but she knew that this leg of the trip was over. She no longer had any love for UNIT, and after learning of their involvement with Tish's pregnancy, she wanted nothing more to do with the lot of them. The Doctor had recommended her for the job, had made a single call and gotten her a plumb position. She wasn't walking away from it; she was running.

Colonel Mace's grim stance offered no words of warnings of eventual remorse. Dr. Talbot had wasted no time at crying foul regarding her action three hours before. Mace received her resignation mere minutes before Talbot's accusations had crossed his desk. She was sure that Mace knew her reasons for quitting. There was no way that the blond man had not known about the order to retain Tish.

She walked out of the office with her head high, and her conscious nearly cleared.

XXXXXXXX

The third thing that Martha did that day was in Cardiff. Having realized that she had been the recipient of Jack's memory erasing cocktail both irritated and angered her. Sure, she understood his reasoning, and Martha was certain that at the time, he felt like he was doing the right thing. But, there were questions that she wanted answers to, and none of which were going to come from Tish.  
>She sat at Roald Dahl Pass waiting for the lift to come. She knew enough of the protocols to enter through the front door.<p>

As she descended into the madness that was Torchwood Three, Martha practiced in her mind how to keep from sending Jack into the same position she had left Dr. Talbot.

"Martha," Jack greeted her tersely.

Arms folded, Martha stepped into the Hub, she fixed a glare upon Jack that sent the rest of his staff ducking for cover. She was sure they assumed this was some sort of retribution for what Jack had done, and she didn't care what they thought; they could have assumed it was a lover's spat, but this was going down. Today. "We need to talk,"

Jack nodded, he looked around the Hub for his now vacant staff and shrugged. "She could be dangerous." He announced to no one.

"Guess they agree with me." She smirked.

Jack led her to his office. He was silent as he offered her a seat and cleared off another for himself. "So," he began. "I am assuming you know."

"Oh," she sneered. "I know."

Jack nodded again and his eyes darted around the room as iflooking for something else to focus on, anything except the irate, diminutive woman seated at his desk. "Martha, I had to do it."

"No, you didn't"

"It was a knee jerk reaction to a tense situation." He defended. "There was a need for absolute secrecy."

Martha folded her arms again. "Are you saying I can't be trusted?" she asked in astonishment.

"I am saying," he prolonged. "That I did not know who to trust, or what was possible. For all I knew, you could have been working for UNIT in the capacity of intelligence. That is who you work for, right?"

Martha could feel the anger rising like a hot air balloon, Slow, but inevitable. "Tish is my sister, At what point did you really think that I would ever pose a threat to her?"

Jack heaved a sigh,. He placed his hands behind his head and threw his head back. "I never said you were a threat, Martha, but you have to understand, your job was a threat to your sister's safety was first and foremost in my mind. For all I knew, they could have been tracking you, or have placed any number of listening devices somewhere on you."

"That's ridiculous." Martha waved away.

Jack leaned forward, no more carefree light manner to his words. "Is it? Do you have any idea how badly a number of agencies wanted to get their hands on that baby. You are one of a handful of people that know what that DNA could cause."

Martha nodded, she knew. "Still, Jack….you retconned me."

"I did." He offered in an offish manner. "And I would do it again in the same circumstances."

"You lied to me, said you would not do that." She hated that she sounded like a five year old who had been let down by a parent.

He leaned over his desk to face Martha. "Do you understand what they would have done to your sister? After all she had been through, Martha; I was not going to take any chances. I had to keep her safe."

"Is she safe now?" Martha asked.

"I made sure of it. I had my team infiltrate into high security databases and made sure that all evidence of any record of her pregnancy was erased." He nodded.

"And you broke into Talbot's offices." She nodded.

"So did you." He fired back.

"HE was a terrible shit," she nodded.

"Oh he is. And once I get my hands on him—"

"I knocked him out about 4 hours ago," Martha smiled and held her head a little higher.

Jack tipped his head back a bit. "You did?"

Martha nodded. "He went down like a paper tower in a hurricane."

Jack laughed loudly; it was the Jack she knew, not the one that had spent a year in captivity. "That could not have gone over well over at HQ." he smiled.

Martha smiled a little brighter. "I wouldn't know, Jack. I tendered my resignation fifteen minutes later. I could not work for an organization like that any longer."

Jack leaned back again, and studied her expression for a few moments. "You quit." He nodded.

"Yes."

He stood up from his desk quickly. "Sounds like you need a job then." He announced.

"You offering?" she asked.

"Welcome to Torchwood Martha Jones."

XXXXXXXXX

It was completely different form UNIT. There was no bureaucratic bullshit to shift through. If something needed doing, the team simply went in, got it done, and cleaned up afterward. Martha began to understand the difference between a government sanctioned entity and one that lived outside of the grid. Torchwood three was an entity onto itself, and it functioned outside of laws and methods she had been trained in at UNIT.

And, there were Weevils, lots and lots of Weevils.

"What's with all of the Weevils, anyway?" she asked Jack as they hauled three of the frightening creatures into the cages in the basement.

Jack shrugged, "Don't know, they get dumped here through the rift like the rest of the crap we see."

"There seems to be no end to them." Gwen added. "And I have seen my fill of them for the night. I'm going home. Rhys is starting to think I am a ghost." She grinned.

They bid her good night, Ianto had gone home long before, and there was no one left. "I orderd pizza." Jack offered when they were alone.

She opened her mouth to protest, but her stomach answered for her. "Yeah," she nodded. "I could eat one by myself."

"Good thing I ordered two, then." He grinned.

They sat at the small table in the corner of the Hub; Martha was surprised at the quiet of the Hub during off hours. As if there were ever off hours. She leaned into the comfortable chair and studied the man across from her.

"How's Tish doing?" he asked finally.

Martha rested her elbows on the table and leaned her head into her hands. "Better. I think she is finally beginning to put some of it behind her."

He nodded. "Yeah, when I talk to her it seems as if she is getting a little better."

"You two are close." Martha noted.

"Not as close as I would like to be,." Jack admitted.

"I know," she nodded. "You have to give her some time, Jack."

But, Jack shook his head. "Nightingale, I got nothing but that. But, no amount of time in the world is going to change how she feels. She is marked for life." He sighed.

Martha tilted her head in confusion. "What does that mean?"

Jack rubbed his face with his hands. "You really need to talk to the Doctor." He sighed.

"Why?"

Jack shook his head. "It means, Martha that what the Master did to her, can't be easily erased."

"You mean she is what bonded to him or something?"

Jack nodded. "Something like that. I don't know everything, but from what the Doctor told me, the truncated pregnancy and the Master's mind voo-doo has really messed her up for anyone else."

XXXXXXXXX

"_Martha's fine, Doctor." Jack answered as tastefully as possible. "I called you here for Tish." _

_The Doctor turned to face the shivering woman. "Tish?" he asked, coming closer to her. "What's worng?"_

_Jack led them to the conference room. Tish sat in a chair, but the Doctor opted to sit on the table cross legged next to her. "Jack?" he asked._

_Jack nodded. "The Valiant." He started. "Tish has a…situation that you would be the only person able to help with."_

_Tish's hands worried the mug still in her hands; Jack watched the Doctor lean into her space and examine her eyes. "Tish?" he asked. "What's happened?"_

_But Jack knew Tish was not going to be able to talk, he knew that the stress was finally going to send her into shut down. "She needs help, and I need you to get her out of town for a while."_

_The Doctor jumped from his east position and knelt next to the seemingly frail woman. "Would that be all right with you, Tish? Would you like to meet the TARDIS?"_

_As Tish offered a slow nod, Jack was struck by how easy the Doctor seemed to be with her. Jack began to wonder how much they should discuss around her, or if it was in bad form to talk behind her back. The Doctor would need to know, but Jack was not sure that Tish would tell._

"_You were always such a good listener for me when we were on the Valiant." Tish spoke in a surprisingly strong voice. "I wasn't sure if you could hear anything."_

"_I heard. " The Doctor assured her._

"_I—I'm pregnant." Tish blurted, and Jack was surprised that the admission was not followed by an emotional break down. Letitia Jones had more guts than even he thought._

_The Doctor nodded. "Ok," he said. "Ok, so we need to get you on the TARDIS. I can find out from there." The Doctor placed his hands over Tish's, which were still clutching her mug._

"_It's a little serious, Doc," Jack interjected. "Some people have found out…people who would make things difficult for her."_

_The Doctor nodded again. "I'm sure you have a handle on that Jack" the Doctor smiled as he held Tish by the elbow and led her back through the Hub. _

"_My team is already on it." He returned._

"_Good, I may have to alter my opinion on Torchwood as a whole." The Doctor gently guided Tish through the doors of the TARDIS. Jack followed behind the pair, not sure if she would be all right with the alien environment._

"_Wow," Tish uttered._

"_Yup." Jack smiled._

"_It's, it's bigger—"_

"—_on the inside." Both of them finished for her with identical grins. The Doctor showed Tish to a room that would be hers, Jack waited for him to come back. "She's gonna have a shower and a bit of a lie down." He announced._

_Jack nodded and sighed, he was struck at his own sudden lack of words. "She has been through hell."_

_The Doctor nodded, "we all were, jack. But…" he turned his head toward the corridor that tish had been led down. "This is not good."_

"_Paradox?" Jack asked._

_The Doctor shrugged and sighed. "Not sure yet, well, I have a good idea that there is no paradox. If I had brought her in here, well the TARDIS would have not allowed her in. She is barely tolerating you."_

"_Right," Jack nodded, stepping back a little toward the doors. "I forget."_

_The Doctor smiled. "Well, she's going to be well taken care of, I promise you."_

"_I know?" Jack agreed. "It's just that, she isn't sure what she wants to do about the pregnancy. I don't think her keeping it is such a good idea."_

"_I don't either, no matter how much I…" the Doctor stopped himself. "Anyway, its her choice, isn't it?" he righted._

"_Yes, try to remember that." Jack fired at the alien. _

_The Doctor had the decency to look hurt. "I am going to do what is best for Tish." He assured the immortal man._

"_Sure," Jack nodded. "But if you hurt her, remember I can find you no matter what face you wear. Whatever she decides to do, Doctor. Her choice."_

"_It's not always that simple, jack it's a matter of biology. Do you have any idea what a normal Gallifreyian pregnancy will do to a human mother?"_

"_He messed with her head, Doctor. Whatever else she has to go through, I understand your concern, but you have to let it be her choice. The Master left her without any choices; he stripped that away from her. If you go in and do whatever you want, then you are no better than him."_

_The Doctor nodded this time, silent for a while as he seemed to mull over Jack's words. Just then, a freshly scrubbed Tish reentered the console room. Both men turned their eyes to her. "Feel better?" Jack asked with a forced smile._

_But, Tish ignored the question. "It's my choice." She acknowledged. "And if you cannot understand that, Doctor, then I can go back to the Hub."_

"_Tish," jack tried to soothe her._

"_No, Jack. I heard the two of you, I feel like the gorilla in the zoo, you can point and stare, but you assume I don't understand what all of your piteous looks mean. I have a bit of an idea what I am up against, Doctor. Contrary to what your people believe, I am not some stupid ape. I know from him the lowly status your people regarded humans as. I know more than you think I know. I also know what I would have to go through if I continued this pregnancy. I know it would change my body, alter my life span. I know these things." she turned to face the Doctor, her back to Jack. "I don't want to go on with this. Despite what this means for you, Doctor. I need to see the end of this pregnancy, but on my terms."_

XXXXX

"Wow," Martha shook her head, surprised yet again at the strength hiding in the mind of Letitia Jones.

Jack nodded, "Yeah, she was not having it. She was sure of what she wanted, Martha."

"He still has it." Martha said.

"Him," Jack corrected her. "The Doctor still has him, I know."

"She asked me to help her, to help him." She admitted. Ashe had not said anything about it before, but for three months that question hung over her head like a bad debt. There was such desperation in Tish's voice as she asked her sister to help. They had not talked about it since, but the question remained at the edges of every laugh, every tear, every conversation the two women held in the time since.

Jack nodded. "I offered." He smiled in that easy way. Not like I haven't done it before."

Martha glared at him, remembering Tish's story. "She said something about you having been pregnant before." She smiled.

Jack waved it away. "That is a story for another time. Besides, the pizza's here."

XXXXXXXX

They sat eating pizza in near silence. The words hung around them in stilted stabs. Martha finally asked, because it had been on her mind since he hinted at it. "What did you mean, Jack? About the terminated pregnancy stunting Tish?"

Jack placed his half eaten piece on his napkin. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "It's complex, Martha. I can't do it, no one but someone with the Jones' DNA can carry the baby to term. "

Martha nodded, she had assumed as much. "Can't he grow it himself?" she asked.

But Jack shook his head. "You are right; he could, if it had complete Gallifreyian DNA. The problem is, it doesn't."

Martha pushed. "But, how does that affect Tish?"

Jack sighed. "I am going to tell you, only because you asked, and I still feel a little bad about retconning you." He grinned.

"You should." She nodded.

"I'm going to tell you, Martha, but, if I tell you, I don't want you to feel obligated, andi definitely do not want you to feel any sort of pressure to go through with it."

"You're scaring me, Jack.' She admitted.

He smiled, a sad sort of smile that did little to alleviate any of the fear that Martha was feeling. "I know, but you asked, and I feel like you have a right to know. Tish didn't want you to know, didn't want to tell you because she understood how it would make you feel."

"What are you saying?" she asked, pizza sitting in her stomach like a lead ball.

"Just, hear me out, ok? You know I love your sister. If I was honest with myself I would admit to being in love with her, but she is never going to be able to move forward until this is all resolved."

_. _


	13. The Soldier Is Bailing Out

She could tell he was having a hard time with it all. He shifted from one side of his wooden chair to another. He sat silent for a while after his readjustment. He had warned her that she would not like what he had to say, and Martha wondered if she was really ready to hear it.

But, hadn't that been the problem all along? Hadn't she hid from the shadows the first three month sifter the Valiant?

Jack took another bite of his pizza, "It's not as if all of this rests upon your shoulders." He hedged.

"But it does." Martha guessed.

Jack smiled, Martha knew the stalling would go on, and the fact that Jack _was_ stalling scared her. ""The thing is Martha, they aren't like us."

Martha nodded. "You mean The Doctor and The Master."

"And the rest of their lot. Well, when they were around at least." He sighed here. "The thing is, what the Master did to Tish, he must have known what would happen."

"He couldn't have, Jack," she insisted.

Jack raised a hand. "Here me out Martha. Think for a second. The Doctor always talks about time lines and knowing the possibilities of things. "

"He isn't psychic, Jack."

Jack leaned back into his chair, it tipped back to accommodate the shift in his weight. "But, they are capable of knowing the odds. They can see the probabilities, assess the outcomes."

"You think he planned all of this?" she asked, still wondering what all of this had to do with her.

"No, I think the Master, what he did to Tish when she mentioned about things changing for her…"

"Yeah, she said he must have done something to her. Said it changed for her after that. Tish told me that she felt things after he touched her head."

Jack nodded in large motions. "Right, right. He made her have feelings for him. Is it possible that he may have bonded with her in some way?"

Martha felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. It all made sense. If the Master had formed some bond with her, then he was still in her head in some way. Or…. "Does the baby have something to do with all of this?"

"It's the only way this could have happened, Martha. Look, in my time in the Time Agency, I saw a lot about Time Lords. There was a host of theories and rumors that flew around about them."

"But I thought they were long gone, or time locked, or whatever the term." She waved.

"Yes, but the legend lived on. Its like, think about all of the fairy tales and mythos that still exist on Earth about things that went on thousands of years before contemporary history. The Time Lords were stuff of legends, and there were a lot of tales across the universe about them. Some people said they were sterile, some believed they were cursed into that sterility by Pythia, one of their gods."

"They _had_ gods?" she asked in disbelief.

"They had a lot of things that most civilizations have. They just like to think they were evolved beyond all of that. The truth is, they were no better or different than the rest of us. They lived, they loved, they had faith in idols. The whole point is, the mythos is what we knew."

"The Doctor never speaks about his culture." She nodded.

"That was their way, too." Jack agreed. "But, one of the stories that I know to be true was their ability to control lesser life forms mentally."

A frown clouded over Martha's features. "I don't like the sound of that. But, I do recall him saying to me something about the darker nature of Gallifreyian traits."

"The time Lords were a race of beings who stared into the Vortex and learned its secrets. They had wars, and massacres, and uprisings. They were not above anything that our culture believes a higher race would do. The Time Lords were not gods, they were merely more evolved. I think that the Master may have been a good example of that."

"But why hurt Tish? To what end would he gain anything by hurting my sister?"

Jack sighed. "I believe." He reasoned. "That in his mind, he was not hurting her. He was sick, and twisted, and insane Martha. But, I think he believed he loved her."

There was that silence again, it bled through the walls of the Hub. The two considered each other for long moments. Martha was unsure if she had heard him correctly. "No," she shook her head in abject defiance.

Jack allowed her moments of denial before pushing forward. "It makes sense, Martha. If you take a few moments to consider it, it does make sense. I didn't know what went on between the two of them on the Valiant, but I can tell you, there was an incident that I was told about."

"What happened?" she asked.

XXXXXX

_The maniac wearing Harold Saxon's face laughed heartily at the shackled man. He stood centimeters from the bound man. "You are just plain wrong." He spat between gales of laughter._

_Jack shrugged; in his centuries of life, he had come into contact with plenty of insane people. The thing that Captain Jack Harkness understood about crazy, aside from keeping a good distance from them, was to never goad them. Any engagement was pointless. He recalled an old African tale about a sane man arguing with a crazy one, and thus becoming insane himself. _

_But the thing behind the human mask was not easily ignored. He walked in a complete circle around Jack. "No, no." he mused thoughtfully. "No matter what angle I stand downwind from your stink, you are still just wrong" _

_Jack sighed as quietly as he could, he knew this was going to be a long night, or day, or whatever time it was. He had no way of telling time, only shifts in the change of guard that stood watch fifteen feet away from him. The thing circling him could tell Jack was certain that the Master could tell him the exact time on a million worlds right now. But that was constructive, and the Master only understood destruction._

_The Master sniffed the air, "Good lord you reek." He waved. "I should have one of my servants come and bathe you. Would you like that, Jack?" he grinned._

"_I'd like to get out of here." Jack spoke before he realized he was breaking the rule about crazy people. The Master pounced. "You want out of here, do you? Seems to be a lot of that going around." The Master moved to face Jack again. "I asked you a question."_

_Jack had to think for a moment to recall the question asked. "I don't need a shower, not like i am going anywhere any time soon." _

_The Master glared at the man in front of him. "I don't recall offering you a shower. I offered you a wash up. There is a difference." _

_Jack shrugged again, "Po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes." Jack sang._

_The Master regarded him silently for a time, and jack wished he could kick himself for breaking his own rule. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the Master began to laugh again. "You are a funny guy, Jack." The Master patted his cheek fondly, "I may have to keep you around for a while." The Master laughed again at his own joke and began to whistle a jaunty yet unrecognizable tune. _

_:Does that mean I get a bath?" Jack challenged the retreating form._

_The Master turned again, his face smiling, but his eyes dangerous. "You know, I think I will have someone come down and douse you." He said. "I think Francine is free."_

"_Oh," Jack sighed. "Anyone but her."_

_The Master advanced upon him so quickly, Jack was stunned with fear. "Who would you rather I send down, Jack. Hmmm?"_

_Jack knew that look, he knew from crazy and this man in front of him was every bit as crazy as any human in an asylum. "I'm good." He tried with a smile.._

_The face close to his again, the Master brought his scowl into kissing distance. "I bet you would rather I sent Tish down here, wouldn't you?"_

_Jack wasn't sure where the Master was going, nor where the anger had brewed from that now danced behind the man's blue eyes. "Shall I send her down here, Jack?"_

_Jack shrugged again._

"_Oh, I think you would like that. I have seen how you look at her when she does come down here. I have seen your eyes travel over her."_

"_Lazy eye." Jack offered with a weary smile._

_But the Master went on. "No, I think there is more to it than that." I think there is most assuredly more to it than that." The Master placed his hand thoughtfully on his chin. "You fancy her."_

"_I fancy everyone." Jack blinked. "And, what is this, high school? Here's a little cultural news flash for you, Master, No one uses fancy as a verb anymore."_

_Jack's attempt to lighten the conversation only made the clouds roll over the ancient man's face. "You don't get to look on her. Do you understand?" She is not for you."_

_Jack sighed again, weary of this game. "If you say so." _

"_No," the Master spoke slowly and evenly with a calm that scared the immortal man. "You don't get to even mention her name. Gorgeous is not for you." He finished with a comical tweak of Jack's nose. "I have plans for her."_

_Jack could not quite understand the Master's reaction. He shrugged for the millionth time. "If you say so." He repeated._

"_Oh, I say so." The Master nodded and spun on his heel. "And in case you weren't aware, I am kinda running things around here."_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"AN hour later, I was given a bath." Jack spoke as he toyed with his rapidly cooling pizza. "It was a vat of water heated to 100 degrees.

"Celsius?" Martha finished with a nod. She averted her eyes in disgust. "I'm sorry" she sighed.

With a toss of his shoulders, he was back, carefree smile and devilish glint in his sapphire eyes. "Its not the worst time I have had."

"Still…" Martha tried on a smile, but it faltered into a sad remembrance.

He whole point of that story was not to get you to feel sorry for me, Martha." He insisted. Ther Master planned this, and I think on some level, he really believed that he loved her."

"I still don't understand what that has to do with my sister."

"Yes, you do." Jack nodded.

But Martha folded her arms and fixed a glare upon the American man seated across from her. It had grown late, and while Martha was sure that Jack could go all night before giving her an answer, she was getting tired. "No, Jack. I don't see how that affects any of this."

Jack sighed. "They are no different from humans in so many ways. The only one you really know is the Doctor; you don't know what that race was like on whole. The Doctor is all about control and maintaining his composure. That is not as much as a trait of his race as a trait of personality."

"No, I don't buy that, not for one minute. I know that the Time Lords were stuffed shirts who kept to themselves and looked down their noses at every other race in the universe."

"True," Jack agreed with a steady nod. "But, the race itself, amongst its people, Martha they had their faults. I said before, they were not gods, just saw themselves as such. They gained knowledge of the working of time from exposure to the Vortex, they were evolved, not perfect. There were concepts of love, and hate, and peace and war. The Master had just discovered he was alone in the universe. Well, alone in the sense that the race was mostly wiped out. That got into his head, gave him a vision of perfection and god like status."

"You sound like you are defending him." She accused.

Jack held up a hand. "Nope, I am the last person in the entire universe to do that. I'm trying to prove to you what is going on. He thought he loved her. In his mind, in his sick mottled thought patterns, Tish was his. To do with as he saw fit. I couldn't tell you what led to all of this, or why the Master focused on her. But he did, like any nut with a crazy idea about someone they become infatuated with. Only, this nut had power and advanced technology."

Jack sighed again, "It's as if he thought she was his." He started again after a pause. "Do I think he intended to get her pregnant? No, I don't know. I doubt that it never crossed his mind. Maybe he thought he was rebuilding his race. And, god knows his wife was probably too insane to breed with."

"I still feel bad for Lucy." Martha said. She often thought about the tiny blond woman, though she willingly placed herself into the situation as the Master's companion, she had to have been too insane or glossy eyed to realize how deep she was in. "She shot him over this, didn't she?" Martha asked.

Jack nodded. "That would be my guess. She had no difficulty watching the Master destroy humanity and ravage her planet. She had no problem with watching the day to day degradation of her fellow humans. She knew what was to come when she signed on with him. She played crazy, and maybe she was a little. But her murder of her husband was, in my opinion, her discovery of the Master's secret."

"How do you know that?" Martha asked. "There is no way to know what she knew. And, she is so far down the rabbit hole now; I don't think anyone could get an answer out of her."

"I have been shot a few times; I know jealousy when I see it." He smiled. "And, you never know, the Master could have told her about it all along. He could have lorded it over her the whole time."

It was something that he could have been capable of, but it was also mostly speculative on her part. Jack's theory made sense, and in the light of day, maybe she would fell different about the whole thing. But, here in the darkening Hub, amongst all the improbable things of the universe that should not be here on Earth, it seemed to fit. "Jack," she began. "I need to know."

Jack nodded in that same clear resolved way. "You have to understand, I can only go by lore, knowledge gleaned from others. I spent ten years in the Time Agency. In my training, there was a lot about the Time Lords. Who they were, what they did. The Doctor was a topic that came up a lot. He was not painted as the hero that he is…and isn't."

"Yeah, I get that. I get that his brand of heroics often leaves civilizations buring in his wake. That he sits on his blue throne deciding who is right, and who is wrong. It's a bit frightening that he is the only one now."

"But, what I do know, Martha, is that Tish's pregnancy should have never happened. The whole year was reset. See, that's what happens when Time Lords get involved in things they should not."

"Are you referring to the Master, or the Doctor." She smirked.

"Both, actually." He sighed. "When Tish told me she was pregnant, I thought she was kidding. Then I thought she had found someone. I cannot tell you what that assumption did to me."

Martha could see the pain behind his mask. He really did care for her sister. It struck her that in all this time, she had assumed that Jack was just angling for a quickie. She had no idea that he really could feel about anyone. Let alone one person. "Paradoxes. You said something about paradoxes at my Dad's birthday party a few months back."

"I thought it was, yeah. I thought that that baby could bring reapers."

"Reapers?" Martha asked.

But, Jack smiled then. "Think of them as temporal window cleaners. They swoop in and clean up complex paradoxes. Big, nasty creatures. Rose told me stories about how she caused an incident of them because she wanted to save her father."

Rose, of course. "But, she wasn't causing a paradox; I mean if she had, she would have been erased then."

"Yeah, I figured that part out. Then I started to trace backwards, do simple maths. Tish would have gotten pregnant after the reset."

"She told me." Martha filled him in, "It was the night before. The Doctor said something about the life span of Gallifreyian sperm."

"I'm surprised he even said that much." Jack shook his head. "But, be that as it may. Tish is pregnant, and the problem is, whatever the Master did to her, lives as long as that fetus does."

"Wait, you mean that the thing in that glass tube is tying Tish to the Master?"

Jack shrugged. "It's simple biology. The fetus ensures that both parents will care for it, to do that, there is a nexus formed. The Master must have known when he put the Time Lord Whammy on her, that is why I think he planned this whole thing."

But, Martha needed clarification. "So, the only way for Tish to get better is to kill it? Is that what she has been trying to ask me to do?" Martha rose from her seat and began to pace.

Jack's eyes followed her gait as she walked a wide circle around the large room. "She can't do it, and the Doctor, won't It has to be done. She can't go on like this. She can't move on from him."

"But, he's dead, shouldn't that have ended it?" Martha fired back.

"Yeah, you would think that, but it seems as if it is still there, you have seen her Martha. Tell me you think she is getting better."

Tish was better in a lot of ways, but Martha assumed her sister's reluctance to go on had more to do with the rape than any emotional tie to the psychotic being. "I don't know, Jack." Martha sighed. "Her disposition could be caused by the trauma."

"True." Jack nodded. "But if it isn't?"

Martha shrugged, there was really no way to tell, and the only person that had the answers was not very forthcoming with them. "He would never agree to it." She sniffed. "He sits in that machine of his and meters out justice. He has no idea what repercussions are for the actions he is involved in."

"Whoa there, Nightingale." Jack warned. "Slow down for a tic. The Doctor has his faults, don't get me wrong. But do you really think that the Doctor is that cruel?"

"He can be." She spat.

Jack stood, crossed the room to place his hands on her still moving shoulders. "He can," Jack agreed. "But not about something like this. He will want to make it right, Martha. He carries a lot of guilt about what went on."

But, Martha shook her head fiercely. "He also carries a lot of guilt about being the last of his kind. This, this may be the worst decision to force him to make."

"But, it's the right thing to do," Jack reasoned. "That baby has to be destroyed if Tish ever dreams of coming to a normal life. She needs her freedom. He'll see that."

"But, why me?" Martha asked in a tone that made her wince. She hated whining, and hated it more when it came out of her own mouth.

"Because," Jack sighed. "I can't go on the TARDIS, not for longer than five minutes. Tish won't go back onto the TARDIS, and we are pretty much the only people that know about it. Aside from the Doctor."

Martha's eyes met Jack's and pled for absolution. She had always been a good little soldier, but this was a mission she didn't want to be part of. But, she also had to do. "What if he doesn't want to do it, Jack? What is going to stop him from keeping that baby there for all eternity, just so he won't be alone."

"He may, but for Tish, we should at least try." Jack hedged.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me about all of this?"

Jack shrugged, "Because I wasn't sure, Martha. I tried to watch Tish, see if she would get better. I never thought that the Master's reach would go beyond the grave or funeral pyre as it were."

Martha sighed; she resigned herself to the idea that she would have to be the one to talk to the Doctor. If there was a way to help Tish, then it had to be. "I will talk to the Doctor, Jack. I don't know how much of what you have said is accurate, but I am going to have to get some answers out of him, or die trying." She took out her own cell phone and dialed her old number. "Oh, and I am going to need some time off."


	14. I Don't Know If Dead Can Talk To Anyone

**Sorry this took so long, been getting ready to move out of the country. Hopefully they will come more regularly, but i am sure you have all heard that one before.**

**This is for all of my faithful readers and pokers. you know who you are. **

He was waiting for her on the Pass. The TARDIS stood tall against the night sky, Martha advanced slowly upon the imposing blue box. She brought her raised hand to caress the wooden frame as she had done so long ago.

The door opened as she was making her greeting to the TARDIS. Martha could feel his eyes upon her. "I was just saying hello." she spoke over her shoulder.

The Doctor made a small noise of agreement before reentering the ship, for a moment she thought he would throw the Regulator and leave her there, but she found the door left open.

He was standing by the console, attempting to look busy. Martha shut the door as she stepped inside and made her way up the ramp. "Where's Donna?"

"Family thing," he waved away. "Said she needed a few days of not running for her life."

"I can understand that."

"So, fancy a trip? There is the most amazing mating festival on Hzabyl, they wear underwear on their heads and hats on their—well you get the idea. " He waved away the notion. "Oh, probably not somewhere we should be anyway. How about," The Doctor brought his hand to his chin and rubbed thoughtfully. "Barcelona! I keep meaning to go back there, and there is always something that happens. Regeneration, world war..."

"Doctor," she smiled. Martha could tell he was nervous, but she had called for a reason, and her sister's sanity was on the line.

"...Sycorax. Oh we could visit the Tao system, there is a star burst happening there that goes off only once in a millennium. We could go and see it, three times. After all, it does travel in space and-"

"Doctor," she tried.

"...time. Funny thing about time." he finished sadly. "There never seems to be enough of it, or the right point. But,"

"I came here for a reason Doctor."

"I know," he nodded slowly. "And I have a fairly good idea of why you called."

He seemed to wind down, hands thrust into pockets, the Doctor studied her silently. Martha almost felt naked under his glare. "I need to find out about what's affecting Tish."

He motioned toward the door and Martha followed him to the kitchen. "Its complex, Martha." he spoke finally.

"So use small words." she accepted the warm mug he offered her, and the two sat at the table.

"Its not that sort of complex,"

"Then speak slowly." she sipped her tea, but her eyes never left his. For his part, the Doctor seemed visibly unsettled at her insistence. Whether it was the prospect of having to terminate the fetus, or the idea of speaking about Gallifreyian culture, Martha was not sure.

The Doctor took his own sip of the hot liquid before speaking. "The Master affected her because he bonded with her." He spat the words as if it were a foul bit of pear he had found floating behind his tongue.

Martha nodded. "I get that. I mean,i assumed when she told me what had happened that that was the case."

"You finally spoke with her then?" he asked. "How is she?"

"That's why I'm here, Doctor. I want, no, I need to know how deep this bond goes. I mean, if the Master is dead, shouldn't that negate the mental whammy he has on her?"

The Doctor smiled a little, "Mental whammy. Oh I do like you Martha Jones."

"This isn't about me," she insisted gently.

He nodded again. "In my genetic make up is the possibility of bonding with another being. Its not something we did on a regular basis, and I am not sure why he chose to use it on Tish. I would have thought he used that particular thing on his wife."

"Lucy," Martha nodded. "I got the impression he did not trust her too much."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, he didn't. But it was more than that. While I was there, on the Valiant, I witnessed how he treated her. He spoke to her as if she was a child. He was condescending to everyone, but to her, it was as if she was his charge, not his wife."

"Did you know? I mean about what Tish was going through there. Did you see anything? She said she talked to you, that you were a good listener."

That same fury flew across his face, but his words came solid and level. "I didn't know anything. I knew he favored her, and I thought," The Doctor raised his head and closed his eyes. "I thought he was trying to gain her trust, or she had become a new pet for him. I never thought he was capable of something like this."

Martha frowned. "A man who takes down a whole planet and enslaves an entire race? The idea of rape never crossed your mind?"

He shook his head. "My people aren't wired that way, Martha."

"Apparently they are, or at least, he was." she sniffed knowingly.

"No, Martha, we aren't like that. Maybe there was a time, during the Dark Times in our history that men took advantage of women, but my people had come through all of that."

"Oh come off the self righteous fop, Doctor." she fumed. "The Master raped Tish, how is that not a part of your race's make up?"

The Doctor wore the cadence of a man trapped. He tapped his fingers along the side of his mug and turned his head slightly. "Rape isn't what this was." he announced.

"You understand that rape is a crime of power, not sexual gratification?" she shot back. "The Master was all about power, whether or not he was into the sexual gratification is a topic for another day. The point is, Doctor, you can sit there and wave the flag of purity all you want. He did it, my sister is messed up as a result of it. And, the proof of his obsession with Tish is floating in a glass tank in your infirmary."

That same thick silence grew between them. It rankled Martha's nerves and made her want to run back to the safety of her flat. But her sister's fate kept her rooted to the spot.

The Doctor acquiesced with a nod. "He bonded with her, and once he did that, he made her tied to him, tied to anything akin to his DNA."

"The baby." she nodded.

"Its simple biology, really. Its the same way that infants are cute, round face, big eyes. The whole package is designed to make humans want to care for them. If you are physically bonded to someone, then you are more likely to fight for them, and any children resulting."

Martha got that, she understood the alien logic. "So, how do we undo it?"

His eyes turned fire, and Martha nearly did run from his glare. "You've come here to help, then?" he asked.

Martha shrugged. "If you can;t do it, Doctor. I understand. I see how you sit in there with him. But, it has to be done. It has to be ended, Tish is in a mental agony that is killing her."

The Doctor shifted in his seat, he brought his face across the table nearer to hers. "Are we having the same conversation?" he asked with an odd grin.

Martha's look from one side to the other was nearly comical. "We have been sitting here discussing this before, but we haven't had this particular part of it, no. Why? Did you show up in the wrong time stream or something?"

The Doctor threw his head back and laughed. He jumped from his seat and held his hand out to her. "Come on." he insisted with that same look he once offered her in an alley.

"Wait," Martha said as she allowed him to take her hand and lead her out of the kitchen."What?"

XXXXXX

They stood in front of the Glass cylinder. The fetus still sat in the same place as it had when she first stumbled upon it. "I don;t understand." she spoke breaking the silence.

"Martha, you came here for a reason, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, she could feel her patience waning, but knew he was working up to something.

"You came here to find out how to help your sister. You came here to break that bond that the Master made with her."

Martha nodded dumbly, "Yes, do you really think you can do that? I mean, if you show me how, I'll do it. Just show me how to turn this thing off."

The Doctor flashed a dark look across his elfish features."Off?" he asked slowly. "No, Martha. I'm not turning this off."

She took a step away from him,"You'll have her twist for the rest of her life just so you can have this, this thing here to gawk at?" She realized her anger was brimming to the surface, she stopped herself and changed tact. "Doctor I realize you are alone, I get that. I know it must be hard for you, but its not fair. You are choosing a maybe life for a real one."

"Martha," He started, moving to close the gap between them.

She raised her hand to stop both his speaking and his movements. "Doctor, this," she waved her hand at the tube. "Is wrong. Its like that that bride in that Dickens book. You are holding my sister's life as hostage."

"Martha, I will not end his life. He has as much right to live as Tish, and I might add, did you forget that it was Tish who insisted to keep him alive."

"But you cannot honor that. You can;t know how she is, Doctor."

"Do you?" he asked. "I thought you talked to her? Surely she asked you to do this for her."

"Do this?" Martha asked, her eyes drifted back to the white elephant in the room. "Do what?"

"What did you think, Martha? Yes, killing the baby would end her bond. Sever it in fact. That is a dangerous thing, however. I don;t know how she would take it. I don;t know a lot of things about this. But, I do know she wanted the baby to have a chance to live. "

It was another cold bucket of water. She had thought that was what Tish was asking. But, Jack, and his endless connecting of dots had led her down another path. She was ready to pull the plug, not to have an abomination thrust into her face. "No," she answered without even knowing what she was negating.

"You want to help Tish?" he asked from his perch. Hands thrust again into his impossible pockets. "She wanted this, Martha."

XXXXX

"_You'll feel a little cold." he announced with a sad grin._

_Tish nodded from her spot on the weird hospital bed. "Its like a sonogram, right?"_

_The Doctor nodded back to her. "Yes, only a much better picture, and far less radiation. I need to get a good view of him before I remove him."_

"_Him?" she asked with a little smirk. "You sound like on of those football Dads, they run out and buy everything for a boy the minute the stick turns color, only to get the news in the delivery room." _

_He stood with the weird looking wand in his hand, "I already know its a boy, Tish." _

_Tish raised to her elbows and studied his face, "How?" she asked._

"_I feel him, " he answered with a shrug. "So, let's meet the future, Tish." he grineed widely and placed the cold wand on her exposed skin._

"_Oh wow," Tish breathed as a full color picture emerged, it displayed across the wall in front of her. Clear and accurate, she could make out the tiny embryo's spinal column. _

"_Oh, look at you, you beauty." The Doctor gushed. "Spine, limbs forming, oh and." he flipped a switch and the room was doused in sound. A steady four beat staccato filled the air. "Two hearts. Both beating strong and steady."_

_Tish allowed herself to be swept into the man's euphoria. "He is really real, then."_

"_Course he's real." the Doctor answered, still studying the video on the wall. "And he is perfect."_

_Two pairs of eyes held enraptured at the view. Tish sighed and considered her words carefully before she went on. "Will it hurt?" she asked in a small voice._

"_Nah," the Doctor spoke, eyes still on the fetus. "I'll put you under. You won;t feel a thing."_

"_No," she shook her head. "Will it hurt him?" _

_The Doctor swung his head to face her. Their eyes locked in a way of soldiers on opposite sides of the battlefield, but both tired of holding guns. "Tish, what do you want?" he asked. _

_She could hear the hope in his voice, but the reality of what she faced held her in a firm, but realistic grasp. "When we were together, when we were on the Valiant. He used to tell me things, anything and everything. The Master would prattle on about how much he missed hone, the silence of the matrix from his mind, the drums in his head."_

_The Doctor nodded to encourage her to go on._

"_He told me about Gallifrey. How children were welcomed into a family. Even children that were not planned for."_

"_Yes, for a long lived lot we treasured children. On the outside, you would think that we tossed them aside. All children were taken to the Academy at the age of eight,but the time we had them, the time that mattered was important."_

"_Was there," Tish stopped, gathering strength to ask. "Did this sort of thing happen often back home?"_

_He was visibly surprised at her question, but Tish watched as he painted on another smile and patted her arm. "Not really." _

_The silence fell between them again. When Tish adjusted her body, the Doctor took it as a cue to end the show. "Well," he started, turning off the projection and clearing his throat. "Good to know its a nice normal pregnancy. Well, as normal as it could be under the circumstances."_

"_Do you have to...I mean is there a way to keep him alive?"_

"_You do know what that would mean for you, right?" he asked her honestly._

_Tish nodded her head. "I know, but part of me wants to see him run through that red grass." she gave a stuttering sigh. "How do I know that's not the part that he changed?"_

"_You don't." he shrugged. "But if he did change you, you'll be altered until the baby dies, or..."_

"_Or?" she asked, swinging her legs over the side of the table. "Or what Doctor.?"_

_He stood from the stool by the table. "Or the impossible happens." he smiled sadly._

"_I don't think I want him to die, Doctor. But it would kill me to carry him."_

"_I know." he nodded._

"_If someone else carried him..." she hinted._

"_It would break the bond, yes. Back home, if this happened, I mean a surrogacy situation, it was a touchy thing. The child would have to be reintroduced to its parents after birth. Messy, terrible thing. Brought down the surrogacy rates, however. That's why we developed looms and pods."_

"_So,he can live, and maybe have a chance at life?" she asked._

"_It would have to be someone with similar DNA to you Tish..." The Doctor warned._

"_I figured as much," she nodded. "I think Martha would do it." _

_The Doctor shook his head. "Its not as simple as that, Tish. There are other parts of it. There are biological changes that could forever change her. Its not as simple as carrying to term."_

"_I know," she nodded. "I know that it will alter a lot of who she is. But she would do it."_

_The Doctor came and sat next to her on the table. She shied away a bit, and the Doctor stood quickly. "she would have to stay here for the whole time. And, then there is the baby itself." he sighed. "I don;t think she would do it. And if she doesn't, then you are stuck in this bond for the rest of your life. No, Tish, I think this is all too impossible. I think I would feel better if this was over for you."_

"_My terms, Doctor. Remember?" she eyed him sternly._

_He grinned then, "You have a lot of faith in the impossible."_

"_No," Tish shook her head. "I have a lot of faith in Martha Jones."_

XXXX

"No," Martha voiced again. She turned and made to bolt for the exit.

The Doctor was faster. "Would I lie about this? Would I make this up? You think I am that cruel?" he barked.

Martha still turned toward the door, afraid to face him. "No," she admitted. "But I cannot deal with this now."

"And every moment that you don;t deal with this, is another moment your sister has to twist. Who is being unfair to whom?" He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "If you don;t want to do this, fine. I will walk over there right now and end this, but its your call, Martha. Tish and I have made our decisions, yours is the only one left."

"How can you put this into my lap? Its not fair." she whined.

"No, Martha, Nothing in this has been fair. This whole thing has been the most unfair situation I have had to be a party to. But, life is like that. You said you felt bad for not being there for her, for not being able to be in the Valiant to protect her. This is your chance to make that right."

"Guilt? _You_ are using guilt, on _me_?" she fired incredulously. "Had it not been for you, none of us would have been in this situation."

The Doctor stood firm. "Its not guilt, Martha, Its a simple thing, really. Yes, or no. that's all. You don;t have to do it. You don;t have to not do it. You are the lucky one here, you are the one that gets to make a choice."

She shook her head, like a child refusing to answer about being naughty.

"You keep saying this isn't about you. But, it is Martha. Right here, right now, this is about you. If you run out of here without making a decision, then you are affecting four people. You have to deal with this, you have to decide. There is no more time, it has to be now."


	15. Come On and Get Your Overdose

**Definitely a longer story than i thought it would be, this one is about half way gone, or less. Its going to be a wild ride so strap on.**

**Merry Festivus to you all and thanks for all the love.**

It was as if time itself stopped. In the moments where nothing could be heard in the room save for the steady and persistent odd beating from the cylindrical womb.

He glared at her with eyes afire, Martha could see rage and honesty in their brown midst. It was too much.

"I can't..." she began with a shake of her head.

He nodded his assertion. "Yes, you can. Its just one word Martha, its one word with so much power and so much behind it. You have the choice this time, you have been given the gift that no one else in this mess has. All you have to do is give an answer."

"No I don't!" Martha ground. "I don't have to do anything here. I can turn around and walk out of here in blissful ignorance. I can go home, pay my bills, find a nice bloke to take me to dinner. I can leave all of this craziness behind me as if it never existed."

"No, you can't." The Doctor spoke calmly and slowly. His voice never changed timbre.

"I've done it before."

"How'd that work out for you? Not so good I would imagine." he sniffed knowingly.

"What would you know? You were on the Valiant with all of the other real victims; all of the torture and horror I witnessed was imagined." She crossed her arms and slid against the wall. "Everything I saw was imaginary."

"Not imaginary,real enough for it to keep you up at night. Real enough to make you run from everything and everyone in your life. Martha, you learned a lesson that no one else in all of humanity has learned."

She turned her eyes to him with silent expectation.

"Fragility." he surmised. "Oh, we all know we are going to die someday, even me. We all know that life is fleeting, but, Martha you learned exactly how fragile this existence is. You have learned how temporary our time is here." he spread his hands wide as if to demonstrate.

"I didn't want to learn it." she pouted.

He shrugged then, and came to sit beside her on the floor."No one wants to learn those things, but you have. Its good to feel guilty and morose. There was a lot of death I would imagine."

"It was everywhere." she spoke in a choked sob. "there was death and I couldn't do anything to save them. There were times I had to watch from a spot while children were eviscerated. I watched those, things, murder people and that perception filter did little to nothing to hide me from them at close range."

He nodded, allowing her to go on.

"Death was a constant, it walked along side me every single day. "

The Doctor placed his arm around her shoulder, and it surprised Martha that she allowed to rest there. "Death is all around us, every day." he said. "But, death is also a catalyst for life. You cannot have one without the other."

"Oh, now you are going to spout off to me about some hippie new age reincarnation feel good? Bollocks!"

But, he shook his head, inched closer ever so slightly and spoke into her ear. "No, I told you Martha, its what makes us who we are. Every species in the universe has a set allotted time to exist, even me. We know that every day. Culture, art, war, its all based on the knowledge that we are here for only a short time, we only have a few moments on this plain."

She shook her head again, but the Doctor shook his in response, "no, really Martha, think about it. Its all about a legacy, something to leave behind."

"And what do you want to leave behind?" she asked petulantly.

He ran his free hand through his already unruly hair. A loud sigh escaped his lips, ending in a small smile, "Oh, you know. Peace love, and happiness."

"Then why does it always end in War, hatred and suffering?"

He didn't answer her at first, The Doctor pulled away and moved to stand. He seemed put off by her accusations, and Martha again chalked it up to hitting too close to the mark. "I don;t ever want any of that. I try, Martha. You traveled with me, you know. Its all about personal choice. "

She rubbed her tired hands over her face and only then realized the tremor in them. It was on her, she had known that to begin with, hadn't she? It was always firmly rooted upon her shoulders. The weight of this world. The one created by a mad alien who had tried to kill her. "Why does it have to be now?"

"Don't whine," The Doctor spoke, but a smile tilted at his features.

Martha returned the smile with a shaky one of her own. "I'm not whining."

The Doctor folded his arms and rocked back on his heels. "Well, since you put it that way."

She moved back towards the tube, gingerly finding her steps as she turned her back to the Doctor. Martha forced herself to look at the thing, really look at it. The small creature was neatly formed, and her analytical physician's eye told her not only the gestation, but the sex. "He is further along that I thought."

The Doctor came to her side. Hands thrust into his pocket. "He has some growth that has happened while he has been in here, but its as far as it can go for him."

Martha nodded. She raised her eyes to meet his. "If I do this, what does it mean for me? What I mean is, what happens?"

the Doctor sighed at her side, "It means quite a bit, actually. It means that your body would change, your life span would alter, not a great bit, but you would have some regenerative properties. Not anything to the extent of Gallifreyian, but..."

"But, it would change me." Martha turned back to look at the tube again. "You mentioned I would have to stay on board the TARDIS until he's born? Is that for his safety, or mine?"

"Its sort of the same thing at that point, isn't it? But, its because of the vortex, Martha. Your species lacks the Time awareness that he needs while gestating, and sense he cannot get that from you, he has to be in an environment where he can easily get it."

"What about, afterward?" she asked in a small voice.

That sigh again, only a far more weighted one, "he would need you, yes." he affirmed. "Tish has already made it clear that she won't be that for him. She can't, Martha." Something in her eyes made the Doctor clear his throat and go on. "But, I mean if you can't I suppose that...afterward...you could just, go on. You know, back to your life. Work, school, Tom..."

Martha nodded, she decided to leave the part about Tom being out of the picture since her move to Torchwood. It gave her an odd thrill to hear the Doctor say his name as if it were a pear caught in his mouth. "I don't think I could stick around, doctor." she sighed. "Its something that I am not ready for."

"No one really is ever ready for it, it just sort of happens," he shrugged. "But, I understand. Its a lot to take in."

She ran a thin finger against the line of the glass, her turn to sigh she spoke slowly. "I am only doing this because this is what Tish wanted. But, you have to respect the fact that I cannot be around it. Once its done, I'm gone, are you prepared for that?"

He nodded slowly and quietly.

"I am doing this for Tish, so she can get on with her life, move on and find some sort of happiness after all she has been through. But, I guess I am doing this." She shook her head and sighed, still not believing that she had allowed herself to yet again play the hero.

He nodded silently, but Martha could feel joy radiating off of his tall and slender frame.

"I don't see how all of this is a good thing, but if this is what it will take to break that monster's hold over her, then I'll do it."

Martha got the feeling he wanted to hug her, but he continued to hold silent and rigid next to her.

"Guess there is nothing to do but get started then," she shrugged.

He took her hand and led her to the infirmary side of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Will it hurt?" she asked from her position on the bed. "I mean, I know that we have embryonic transfers back on Earth, but this is a bit different."

He had injected her with high doses of hormones for a solid week. Every day he plied her with nutrient rich meals that made her both full and sleepy.

"Nah," the Doctor assured her as he adjusted machinery. "You'll sleep through the whole thing."

"And wake up pregnant." she sighed.

There had been times in the last seven days, where Martha felt that radiating joy. Times where he seemed so happy she was infected with it as well. It rolled in the corners of the TARDIS and chased away the dark shadows of silence that had once inhabited every corner.

The hormones were horrible. The made her ankles swollen, and her breasts tender. She asked him on the third day if he could just give them all at once and get it over with. The Doctor informed her that that would probably kill her and leave the entire situation moot.

Now, on the same table that Tish fad lain on nearly a year before, she wondered still if this was the right thing to do.

But, as the medication from the injection worked through her system, Martha realized it was too late anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was groggy when she awoke, it was that same feeling of having slept too long, and it left her dizzy and disoriented.

"Doctor," she mumbled.

Cool water touched her lips and a gentle hand raised her head. "Nope," a familiar feminine voice answered.

Martha opened her eyes to find Donna standing next to her. "Donna," she croaked.

Donna allowed her a few sips and eased Martha's head back onto the small pillow. "He said you might wake up." she grinned. "Said you were recuperating from surgery." Donna offered Martha a sly grin as she tucked a warmed throw around her. "What'd you let that skinny Martian operate on you for, I will never understand."

Martha smiled back at the red haired woman. "It's a long story." she admitted.

Donna's face drew serious before her eyes. "He told me the whole story, Martha, I hope you don't mind. Truth is, for as much as that Martian drives me insane with his talking and stupid hair, he is a good friend."

"The best," Martha admitted settling back into the sudden softness.

Martha nodded and felt tired again suddenly. "s'ok." she mumbled.

"Well, I'm here to help you have the best confinement possible." Donna grinned reassuringly. "We got plenty to do around here, and the Doctor says sleep if you need to."

She did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He was calling her from across a great distance. She turned around and around in the darkness trying to find him. A hand took hers and she fought through the thick fog of her mind to find the face attached to the hand.

She opened her eyes to find the Doctor sitting at her side. "How long have I been out?" she asked raising herself onto shaky elbows.

"Well that depends on which planet you are on, " he grinned.

"Doctor," Martha warned.

"You've been out for a week." he answered with a nod."A week?"

She acquiesced with a slight nod of her own, he had mentioned that there would be recovery time. "So, it worked?"

"Oh, yes!" he grinned big. The Doctor leaned over and turned on the same machine he had used for Tish nearly a year ago. "Look at that Martha, he's as snug as a bug in a-"

"Rug," she finished absently. It was the screen that held her attention, with the tiny life neatly attached to the uterine wall. Her careful eye made out the string of pearls that was his sline, and the steady rhythmic heartbeats. "He has two of them." she noted.

The Doctor turned his gaze to hers. "Of course he does, why wouldn't he?"

"Coz he's half human, you git!" a firm but nudging voice answered from her other side.

"Ah, Nurse Noble is on call today." the Doctor noted. "You are just in time for the early show."

"Thanks for looking after me, Donna." Martha raised herself a bit as she turned to smile at the red head.

Donna offered a dismissive wave of her hand and watched the image on the large screen. "Aw, he's gonna be a cute one, I can tell already."

The Doctor huffed but continued to stare at the image himself. Three pairs of eyes watched the tiny being in its new but temporary home. "How long will it be before he's out?" Donna asked.

Martha shrugged, but it was the Doctor who answered, eyes still turned toward the object of their fascination. "Well, he's about three months now. Growing like a weed. I would say given the normal Gallifreyian gestational period, coupled with the human environment he's gestating in-"

"She's not an environment you dolt!" Donna bellowed, and Martha had the distinct impression that at any moment, the red head would reach across her and slap the taste of the alien's mouth. "I asked a simple question, try a simple answer, yeah?"

Martha wanted to laugh, she cupped her hand over her mouth to quell a giggle at the nearly frightened look the Doctor's face had taken on. "About nine months, Earth time. "

Both women stared at the brown eyed man in a mixture of disbelief and astonishment. "nine Months." the two women answered in unison.

"Don't you think that's something she should have known before all of this?" Donna fired. "I mean, she's the one who is going to be stuck here—baking!"

"I could n''t do any calculations until after the implantation!" he defended. "And besides, there is plenty to do here on the TARDIS while she's here."

Martha hated to interrupt their discussion, especially enjoying seeing the Doctor on the defensive. With each passing parry, Martha was growing to like Donna Noble more and more. "Don't you mean, we?"

It was her turn to be confused. A look passed between the two standing over her. "Martha," the Doctor began a smile tugging at his lips. "You will be here, in the vortex, Donna and I, well there are things that still go on out in the great universe."

Donna finally did reach over and gently shove the man. "You idiot, you make it sound as if we are going to leave her here to her own devices." Donna peered down at the smaller woman. How would you like to take some flying lessons?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He explained it all to her in that rapid fire tommy gun language he used. Martha could tell he was happy. He was practically bouncing the whole time the three of them made their way to the console room.

"Now, you'll have to take it easy Martha, and stay on the TARDIS." he explained for the millionth time.

"Back off, Doctor! She gets that, she's a doctor herself. " Donna placed an arm around Martha's shoulders. "Martha, the thing is. He's really excited about all of this. He won;t say it, but he is. I just thought you should know why he is acting like such a nanny."

"You mean, more so than usual?" Martha grinned at Donna and they shared something in that moment, an understanding. While it wasn't two against one, it was all for one and one for all. Martha knew that there was nothing this near stranger would not do to keep her safe.

"All right!" he clapped his hands together as they gathered around the console. "Lesson one."

For the next three hours, it was 'don;t touch that,' or 'never move this.' and 'only in a mauve emergency.' The Doctor gave her a crash course in placing the ancient machine safety into the vortex, and hitting the 'back' button, which would send the ship directly to the last point in time where they were.

"What is she gets confuse done day. What if I end up in the middle of the big bang?"

The Doctor tsked. "She never gets confused. This old girl knows exactly what she is doing."

"So, you two are nothing alike then," Donna fired from the jump seat.

"Right," the Doctor spoke again. "If you are ever in that situation, I have a fail safe."

"Three actually." Donna announced.

"Right, three," he corrected. "One, video surveillance." the Doctor produced a headset from his pockets. He placed the device onto Martha's head and adjusted with the sonic. "There."

"What the hell is this thing?" she asked.

"This, is a two way device. I can see everything you are doing here. I can hear you and you can hear me. Sorry about the clunkiness, I had to do some fine tuning. Wanted to be able to monitor heart rate and anything involving Korschai."

"Korschai?" Martha asked.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" he asked distractedly. "That's his name."

"It is not!" Donna shouted. "That's a horrible name for a kid."

"Not where I'm from. "

Martha shook her name with a smile. "It is pretty bad, Doctor."

"Well, in any case. I wanted to be able to make sure all is well." he turned quickly and grabbed for his coat. "Test run, Martha Jones."

"Wait," she came around the console toward the doors where the Doctor was already down the ramp. "You said there were three."

"Three?" he asked confused.

"Yes," Martha spoke slowly "Three fail safes, you only gave me one."

"Oh right," he scratched the back of his head. "Gimmie your cell phone." The Doctor soniced the small device "There. Now you can reach me anywhere." he turned to the door again.

"Doctor," Donna warned. She hadn't moved from her spot. Martha understood that Donna was going to stick around for her first trial. "The third one."

"Emergency protocol 1." he announced, hands thrust into his pockets. "Have the TARDIS initiate it, just ask politely. She likes you."

"Wait,what is that? What will it do?" Martha asked.

"It probably won;t ever be necessary, Martha. Its a last ditch effort. " he sniffed.

Donna did stand then, she moved to the couple at the bottom of the ramp. "Still didn't answer the question Martian Boy." Donna stood firm, arms folded, Martha could not help but think that all she needed was an iron skillet.

The Doctor scratched the back of his head again, "It'll take you home, to your time, to your flat."

"And then she comes back to get you?" Martha asked., but she knew the answer.

"Like I said, probably will never happen. But, at least I know that you will be safe. " I don't want you to worry about it, Martha. Its never going to be needed, but its there if you do." With that, he turned on his heel and edited the doors.

And odd silence befell the console room. Both women continued to stare at the doors for a time after the Time Lord had left.

"Have you ever heard of that before?" she asked Donna.

Donna shrugged and spoke. "Nope. But I know I would rather have everything else happen aside from that. But, he's right, Martha. And I know it makes you feel weird and confused. But, to him, it makes perfect sense."

Martha moved over to the console and placed the ship into the vortex. "Let's see if that alien is as good a teacher as he is a talker."

"Don't see how that is possible,but I get the feeling you are a great student."

Martha nodded and hit the sequence that placed the ship back into its original time and space. "Right, back button."

Martha and Donna stood still at the doors When nothing happened, they exchanged a look before making their way back down the ramp. As Martha put her hand on the door, it flew open on its own volition,causing her to fly back into Donna, who was more than willing to catch her.

"Blimey that was fun." The Doctor announced as he stuck his head through the doors. His hair was more tousled than usual, and he wore a wreath of flowers around his neck. Sunglasses tucked lazily into his breast pocket and a big grin on his face, the Doctor spoke again: "What took you so long? You missed the luau!"


	16. Before You Open Up Your Eyes

**Short Chapter, but pivotal. thank you all for all of the lovely and ind words, and birthday greetings, no i will not be sharing my age, and if i did, much like the Doctor, i would probably be lying about it...**

**Enjoy, this is probably the last one for this year. Have a great 2012 all, let's hope we all make it through.**

It started with a rock.

The first time they returned from a planet somewhere in the Syrizac system, he appeared at her bedroom door, bouncing on his heels. In so many ways the Doctor was a little kid; a child hiding behind unruly hair and grown up decisions.

"Martha," he wheedled in a whiny incessant tone from the other side of her door. "Martha, are you awake?"

She had been feeling like shit since the first time he popped his head through her door that morning. At least, she thought it had been morning. There was a good reason why surrogacy was only done with a surrogate who had previous given birth. Martha was certain that this one experience would permanently sour her on the miracle of birth. "No,"

"Martha, c'mon!" he whined. "You've been in there for a while now, is everything all right?"

She could hear his impatience rolling through the door of her room. She shoved her head under the pillow and pretended not to hear him.

It was the silence that made her relax again into sleep. It was the warmth of the pillow over her head and the too soft comforter coupled with the firm mattress that lolled her back into the tides of sleep.

Martha was not sure how much time had passed when she found the ebb of slumber drifting away; but the sudden lurch and roil of her stomach shot her from the cocoon of her bed in time to vomit onto the floor.

"Oh," a voice from above her head spoke.

No one pules with eyes wide open, mostly a human guard against further retching. She shook her head a few times, enough to realize the voice was not her own. "Urmpph," she answered, eyes still blinking but refusing to fully connect with sight.

"Well, I suppose I had that one coming."

When she finally did manage to pull her eyes open, she found a pair of maroon chucks, now splattered with the remains of her lunch. "Why?"

"I don;t know, Martha." he offered. "I suppose I would chalk this one up to morning sickn—Aha, you DID eat the last bagel!"

She rose slightly and reached for the box of tissues by her bed. "No, why are you here?"

"Why are any of us here?" he replied smartly.

"That's not what I meant," Martha shot off the bed and pushed passed the still man. She made it to the small bathroom in her room in time for the second wave.

"That is what I meant," he shouted into the bathroom. Martha continued to retch into the toilet, and so focused on her task she did not hear him enter the room. "D'you mind?" she asked as she raised off the toilet for the third time.

"No, no carry on. I am sure that can;t be fun." he sat on the side of the tub as Martha scrubbed her face and took a hit of mouthwash to kill the rancid taste out of her mouth. "Ugh, you are by far worse than the pregnancy itself."

She regretted the words as she noted his crestfallen look in the mirror. Sighing, she dried her face and turned with arms folded. "Its sort of a private thing, Doctor."

"Private?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Pretty loud for a private thing." He began to remove his shoes, "And, anyway, I just wanted to check and see if there would be and vital organs coming up."

Her face must have drained of all color, because the Doctor hastily added. "Oh, no Martha, that really doesn't happen, well not often, well not- " He jumped to his stocking feet and grinned. "Anyway, other than the nausea and bagel cravings, how is it going?"

"You ask now?" she moaned.

"As good a time as any." He spoke as he followed her back into her room. Realizing he was on a full tear, Martha shrugged and sat in the soft chair that the TARDIS had provided for her since her recovery from the implantation three weeks ago.

"I feel like hell." she nodded.

The Doctor whirled his sonic around her and seemed to like the results. "Well, everything appears to be going as planned. Any side effects? Burriness of vision, rapid eye movement, tremors, sacrococcygeal teratoma-"

"What!'

"I'm just saying it could happen, Martha..."

"You never mentioned anything about that before."

"You never asked." he defended. "Mine is a funny people."

Martha threw her hands into the air. "Ok, this examination is now over." She rose from her seat and placed her hands on his shoulder, gently but firmly pushing him toward the door.

"I don't see what the big deal is, obviously it hasn't happened. Well, at least not yet..."

"Doctor, I don;t want to see you again in my room, unless I have invited you in. At the very least, knock first."

"I did!"

She refused to answer him as she placed him outside of her room and shut the door. She turned again to open the door and have her say. "And, it would be nice to know what to expect, you could, at the very least, have a million Gallifreyian texts in that library of yours. I would be happy with one. Just one. A book about pregnancy, something that is going to clue me in to the next eight months. Think you could do that?" Martha closed the door without waiting for an answer.

She marched into the bathroom, picked up his ick covered shoes with one of the clean towels on the rack. Opening the door for a third time, she was not surprised to find him still standing there. Martha shoved his shoes at him and shut the door for the last time.

When she finally did emerge from the sanctity of her bedroom, the ship was silent save for the moderate hum the sentient creature offered to her. Martha let her stomach lead her to the catch all tangle of a kitchen. After turning from making a sandwich, she found a rock at her place at the table.

She was sure it had not been there when she walked in. Martha placed her sandwich next to the medium rock and sat down. It was a funny shade of grey, and when she picked it up, it hummed and began to change color.

"Its a Veluzian mood rock."

She shrugged at his words, knowing there were more to come. He did not disappoint.

"Still upset about not being able to phone home?" he hedged.

She got that it would be a while before she could call home, the Doctor had promised to return her to the exact moment of when she left in order to preserve her own time line. "I'll call when I am closer to being done." she shrugged. "Its not as if I won;t show up the day I left. I only hope that the weight comes off quick."

"How is it all then? I mean, is everything feeling...normal there?"

She fixed a glare upon him that would have melted the polar ice caps of Hoth. "You checked earlier, you should know." But as she spoke she continued to handle the rock in front of her. In fact, it was very interesting. She could not help but want to hear more about it.

As if reading her thoughts, the Doctor cleared his throat and spoke; "Its a mood rock. They're usually much smaller, the people of Veluziac where them as jewelery. Earrings, necklaces. Even children where them. Sort of an advertisement of whether or not a person is in the mood to be wished good morning, or if they are likely to tell you to go to hell."

"Sort of takes all the fun out of guessing, doesn't it?"

The Doctor nodded, "Makes it easier on a bloke."

"Oh, how so?"

He shrugged before speaking. "oh, I suppose if a fella came around to a girl's flat, wanted to see how she was, at least he would know before she puked on his shoes." they shared a small nervous laugh.

"You really shoulda waited until I came out you know."

He nodded and continued to stare at the rock. "Its hard to know where I stand, Martha."

She raised her eyes to his, "What does that mean?"

"I thought that a mood rock would help someone know when you were having a bad day, or a good one. Or, if you wanted to capult someone from the highest peaks of Whaz Nu ben..." he finished with a shrug.

Martha sighed, she knew what this was about. It had been a rough first few weeks of pregnancy, there was no doubt that she was far nastier than she should have been. "Hormones."

"It's not just that though, is it?"

Caught, she had no other choice but to come clean. "I chose this, don;t get me wrong. I knew the job was dangerous when I took it, but you have to give me time to acclimate to the changes that are going on in my body."

"So, flying bowls of pudding are normal?" he asked.

She wanted to smile at the memory, except there was little humor that would be appreciated. It had been 72 hours since she had heard from either Donna or the Doctor, and her worry meter had gone crazy. The two had left for what the Doctor promised would be a quick run for supplies. He landed on Earth in 2015, a small town in Illinois. The Doctor promised there were no possibilities of anything nefarious and he and Donna would return quickly and with groceries.

Three days later, a bedraggled Donna and an injured time Lord finally called and Martha skillfully returned the ship to the last place she had left them.

"Occupy America," was all Donna would say as the two helped get the Doctor to the infirmary. Instantly, Martha went into physician mode. She checked his vitals and his eyes. He was suffering from a mild concussion, and the Doctor insisted that he needed no further looking after. Perhaps it was the hormones, or maybe the tone in the Doctor's voice. Or, as Martha pondered on it later, it was his cavalier attitude towards having a concussion that flared her otherwise mild temper.

"You can't go rushing headlong into trouble with a toddler in tow." Martha had asserted as the three stood in the console room.

"OO," Donna added, "Headlong, I like that, so true too. Though, usually its ass first! Though, on second thought, that could be where his kind keep their brains."

"Would explain a lot." Martha said.

The Doctor waived aside both of their concerns and had called them cackling hens. He had then assured the two women that he had no problem keeping himself and anyone with him safe.

It was sheer anger and raging hormones, coupled with a half eaten bowl of food that drove her over the edge that day. There was nothing to his nonchalance about danger that seemed out of character, but in that instance, it was just too much for Martha to ignore.

Back in the present, The Doctor cocked his head to the side and wondered how the bowl of chocolate pudding had ended up in the console room in the first place. "Seems an od place for pudding."

"Cravings," she said. "And none of it got on you."

He smiled then, "It'll be three centuries before I get it all out of the flooring." he marvelled with is eyes skyward.

"You can;t tell me you don;t see a problem with your lifestyle and raising a child." she shook her head.

"Who said anything about my raising it? There are plenty of great schools in the universe that would more than foster his-"

"No!" Martha slammed her hand on the table, rattling the mugs. "You talked me into this, and now you tell me its all a formality? You have no intention of seeing this all the way through?"

"What does it matter to you, Martha?" he asked evenly. "It's not as if you have anything invested into this, nothing more than a favor for your sister...right?"

"I have the next eight months of my life invested into this, Doctor. Not to mention the physical changes that my body will never recover from."

"You should be happy for some of the things that this burden has given you." he sniffed.

"Now, it's a burden?" she ogled him madly. Somewhere, normal non pregnant Martha was screaming in her head to put the gun down and climb off the top if the building, but hormonal Martha shoved her aside and sent up more bullets. "What was your reasons for wanting this in the first place? To not be alone anymore, I get that. But, your first thought is to ship him off at the first opportunity? So you can run off and play cowboy?"

"I'd never be able to pull off a Stetson, and they are ghastly anyway." he smirked.

"This is not a joke! This is a child's life we are talking about here!"

The Doctor sat silently through her tirade. His face was a mask of solemnity. "You do realize that some of it has started already." he spoke finally.

"Some of what?" she asked bitterly.

"The pudding in the console, the discussion right now, you are defending your progeny."

"He's not my progeny!" she fired back angrily.

The Doctor simply nodded toward the rock that was still on the table between them. "Pick up the rock, let's see what it has to say."

Her hand batted the stone off of the table, it landed on the floor with what Martha felt was a comforting thunk. "I don;t need a rock to tell me how I feel. I don;t need a rock to tell me I feel nothing for a child I neither have had any part in conceiving, nor choice in birthing. I have no designs for this child whatsoever."

He began fumbling through his pockets, "What the hell are you looking for?" She raged. "And if its that damn sonic I will shove it into a place where you will have a hard time getting to it for a very long time."

He stopped his actions long enough to study her face again. "I was looking for a mirror." he spoke slowly, "O wanted you to see your face right now."

"Why," Martha spat through gritted teeth.

You look exactly like your mother right now." The Doctor grinned. "No, I mean it. Its uncanny."

If there had been any chance of a productive conversation, that chance was now on the floor next to the flung rock. Martha placed her hands in front of her, finally void of anything to say. She stood on awkward feet and made a path to her room.\


	17. They Want to Get up In Your Head

**I am still writing this one, have not abondonned this. Thanks to ALL of you who have favorite'd, alert'd rec'd and reviewed, I am in awe of each and every one of you. **

**I will be leaving for the Magic Kingdom next week, hopefully after a brief hiatus, faster updates...but i am sure you have ALL hear that one before.**

At least he had the good sense to leave her alone for a few hours. The atmosphere on the ancient ship was thick and heavy when Martha wasn't looking for an apology; she had learned a long time ago that the Doctor did things in his own way, acted as an alien to human feelings. In truth, that was exactly what he was.

She was tired of hanging out in her room awaiting the next batch of unwanted nausea. There were some pity parties that you never wanted to be invited to, and Martha could feel a good one building up.

The library on the TARDIS was massive, a sprawling seemingly endless cavernous room. She made her way into the room and began to peruse the shelves.

She had meant what she asked for from him. The pregnancy was odd and Martha found herself craving food on a near regimental schedule. Every one hour and forty seven minutes, she got hungry. Ravenously hungry. The foods she craved had little to do with logic. Bacon flavored frosting, Beans mashed over ice cream. They were all high protein foods, but the Doctor had never told her that this was a possibility. It wasn't his actions that had her so angry, it was his usual lack of information that made her concerned for her own health. Was there things he was keeping from her? Was there dangers untold that she was not going to be made aware of? What if there were warning signs, signs only pertinent to a Gallifreyian pregnancy? If she missed the signs, then what?

She sighed in the medical section, the books were all wrong, there were none about what she was going through, but if she was lancing a Frizalirn boil, well there were three books on how to perform that.

It was no surprise to her, Martha knew that the Doctor guarded his secrets about his home, kept his wounds close to his chest in the form of tight lips and unanswered questions.

She found a battered, withered, but oddly comforting, copy of Jane Eyre and began to indulge in one of her favorite habits.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he asked softly from across the room.

She placed her book on the back of the sofa and sat up. "Depends on what I was looking for, doesn't it?" she asked.

He nodded and moved to sit on the couch with her. Martha found herself unwittingly making room for him. "I know its hard for you. That this whole thing has been a new experience."

Martha rolled her eyes. "You sound like a guidance counselor trying to talk me out of running the first year of high school;."

"Are you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Thinking of running, I mean."

Martha shrugged, but turned her face from him."Where am I gonna go?" she asked.

"We are friends, Martha. I mean, if for any reason you are uncomfortable here, can drop you off at home..."

"Would you?" she asked, surprised at the fire in her own words. "Would you really give me that option?"

"I would." he answered with a calm that matched her anger in its intensity. "This has always been your choice, Martha."

She studied her hands then, something about his demeanor left her feeling ashamed of her sudden burst of pity and anger. Martha realized that the pity party that she had tried to avoid in her room, and taken up full swing in the library. "I don't see how anything would change. My going home, would it change the way he developed?"

"You know the answer to that one, Martha." he nodded.

"See, that is part of what has me so frustrated, Doctor." she fumed anew. "Every answer to you is like some secret, some deep dark double answer that has absolutely no meaning. Why can't ever just be a straight answer? Or even a Yes or No."

"The universe is never as simple as a one word answer, Martha."

"I'm not asking about the universe, Doctor. I am asking about something that is going on in my body, something you have all the knowledge of, but I am the one having to deal with. I am talking about doing a favor for you and my sister, that has turned into a potentially life threatening event for me."

The Doctor craned his neck toward her, "Are you ill? Is there something wrong?" he asked in rapid staccato. He produced his sonic and began his usual scan of her . "Pain in your right side? Have you had any swelling in your ears?"

She shoved aside the invading probe and stood quickly. Martha opened her mouth to speak, but her knees seemed to give out on her, and she found herself falling back into the couch.

XXXXX

The beeping again, she knew what it meant when she opened her eyes. She was in the infirmary,and as she opened her eyes, she was relieved to find that, for once, she was alone. The noise inside her head was deafening against the silent room. She raised a little from the bed and noted the soft light emitting from the back of the room.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked, hands thrust into his pockets. He stood in the doorway of the small room, leaned against the door frame.

She shook her head three times. It was silly for her to even deny the idea that she would finish what she started. Two months ago, there was still an out. But, since she had committed to this, Martha knew herself well enough to know that she would see this through till the end. Only then, she could return home and live out the rest of her life in quiet satisfaction of a job completed. "What happened?"

"You passed out."

"Obviously," she answered curtly.

He raised his eyes upward and sighed thickly. "You passed out, you had low blood sugar and low blood pressure. Coupled with that was a lack of protein."

"I have been craving a lot of protein." she nodded.

The Doctor nodded with her. "That's common in a Gallifreyian gestation. Lots of enzymes are processed and used for production of the fetus. Especially this time, its when the brain begins to fully develop."

She stretched her hands out in front of her. "Aren't these things I should know? I mean wouldn't it be better if I had this knowledge ahead of time? Doctor, in medical school, the biggest lesson was always about preventative medicine. I think I am owed at least to know what my own body is going through."

"You don't understand." he answered.

"No, I don't. I don't understand why this is so difficult for you to talk about. I am the one carrying an alien. Doctor, if the roles were reversed, you would want to know all you could."

He nodded, but made no move to speak. Martha, took it as a chance to finally unload. "You are not even considering the idea that something could go horribly wrong, and then what? I have no idea what to expect as normal, I have no idea what would be a problem. I have never been pregnant, let alone in an inter-species pregnancy. If you want this as much as I think you do, then it would be in your own best interest to make available as much information as possible."

He did not answer her. He sat quietly in thought of her rant. It was unnerving at how suddenly silent he had become. Martha was used to his mile a minute speech pattern, to see him suddenly silent and pensive scared her more than she cared to admit.

"Martha, my people are...were a reclusive lot. It's enough that they are all gone,but. Somehow, at least for me, keeping their secrets seems to be more important than I ever thought it had been." he smiled wistfully then."Did I ever tell you that I was president? Twice?"

She allowed the smile to break across her face. "I find that hard to believe."

"Oh, yes. Well, to be fair, the one time was part of a complex part. But, I'd like to think I was a good president. A good leader." his chin began to quiver as it rose a little higher. "I would not even know where to begin about the sharing, Martha. I have no idea what to tell you, to me, its all off limits. I mean, what I could tell, well could fill a few libraries actually. Well, maybe a dozen, well, maybe two dozen. Of course those libraries would be completely off limits. The secrets of the Time Lords..."

"Doctor..."

"Right, sorry." he offered her a half smile before rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and sighing. "The thing is Martha, I get it. I get what you are saying. I have been stalking you because I worry that you are going to miss out on any warning sings. I have been torn for the last two months. Share a little, or risk a lot." he shrugged again, shook his head and went on. "I honestly don't know what to tell you."

Martha slid her arm around his and took his hand. "You start where the most good would come of the knowledge." she sighed. "Right off the top of my head, how about 'What To Expect when You Are Expecting,' the Gallifreyian edition."

He stood then, without another word, the tall man in the blue suit began to walk to the back of the infirmary. She waited and watched as he returned baring three large and old looking tomes. "These," he offered as he placed them on the seat next to her. "Are a good place to start."

She brought her hands to the ancient looking books, not opening them, she allowed her hands to wander over the copies.

"Martha," he began with folded hands, head slightly bent and cocked. "Before you open those texts and delve into my people's anatomy. You should know that there are some things that you may find that may or may not apply to your situation."

"I don't understand." she said.

But,. He went on as if she did understand. "These changes in you, things that I have alluded to before, there in here. Mostly. I cannot say for sure which you will experience, or not. I can only say that this pregnancy, while unusual, is completely normal for my people."

'Is he still not developing any human traits?" she asked.

"He seems to be having trouble connecting to anything, or anyone. I have tried to connect to him, but he sees me as an outsider."

"Not his father." Martha nodded. "You said that would happen without the bonding.

The Doctor nodded. "There is still the possibility of rejection. But, read the books, and let me know what you think."

XXXXX

"It wasn't your fault." Donna insisted after she and the Doctor had made their way into the TARDIS

"I thought I had you, I did everything that I was supposed to do." Martha insisted. "I don;t have the slightest idea how you ended up inside of that mainframe."

But, the Doctor shrugged as if it was of no consequence. "It was meant to happen, I suppose." he offered.

Martha had long had enough of his cavalier manner about things. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she fumed from her spot at the console.

The Doctor looked around the room before speaking, and Martha nearly smiled when she realized he was checking for pudding. "It means." he evened slowly, still not meeting her eyes. "that everything worked out for the better, didn't it? I am sure the experiences that Donna has had this time has made her a better person."

"Don't speak for me,Spaceman." Donna added. "I wasn't none too happy to find out that the perfect guy didn't exist. Neither did my kids for that matter."

Martha crossed the room to place her arms around her friend. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Donna. And, I am sorry I did not get a lock on you when he sent you here."

"Oh, you had a lock on her." the Doctor sniffed as he moved around the console. "You were splendid, but Cal, well, she was better."

"What the hell, Doctor?" Martha began, she felt the rage rising, and allowed it to take over her. "You know, it was not my intention to do this. I had a lot better things to be doing back home that did not involve being a mobile incubator who occasionally doubles as an inter-tempral taxi driver."

Donna took a step back,the Doctor held his ground, hands placed on the console. "No one is accusing you of not doing your job, Martha."

She folded her arms and leaned forward, "oh?" she asked with saccharine edged words. "Its a job now, is it?"

"Martha?" Donna tried, taking a cautious step closer to the younger woman. "Some herbal tea would be really good. I was going to make a cup, would you care for some?"

Martha ignored her, "Its much like Farringham, isn't it, Doctor?"

The Doctor never answered her, but Donna asked for clarification. "Farringham?"

"Yes," the Doctor finally spoke, his words pouring with his own self loathing "It's where I destroyed half of her life."

"Should not have let you come back for the other half, then." Martha shook her head in wonder. "I cannot belive I agreed to this, do you have any idea of what this has done to me? Will do to me?"

Donna flashed between the two. She took long looks at the Doctor who now wore a mask of blank shame. She also stole glances at the fiery diminutive woman on the other side of her. Donna knew there was something here that had transpired, but Martha's anger came on so hot and fast, she had to also wonder how much had to do with the ever growing mass under her dress.

"As long as I am good and do as you say, trust you. Things are going to be fine. Right Doctor? You pressed me to make a choice, and I fell righ tinto that, didn't I?"

The console room was silent, Martha glared between the two other occupants. "You have nothing to say?" she asked the suddenly silent alien. "I just assumed you would be full of things to say. Usually, I cannot get you to shut up."

"Martha, perhaps this is a conversation better suited for-" Donna began.

Martha held up her hand and shook her head. "Right. Best friends and all that." She turned turned on her heel and made her way through the ancient corridors.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Look, I'm all for tormenting that skinny Know-it-all, really I am."

"Never doubted that for a moment." Martha smirked. She had been accosted in the library, having realized that the Doctor regarded her room as just a larger part of the incubator. Martha Jones decided to stay in neutral territory as much as possible. It was just easier that way. This time, however, Donna had sought her out, and she did not have to guess as to why.

"I just was wondering, how long until a cease fire?"

Martha really liked the woman. Donna Noble came off as brash and down to earth. She was both, but deep down she was also funny, smart and had somehow managed to train the Doctor in such a way as to make Martha jealous of her adept handling.

Martha wondered if the red head had ever considered a career as a Special Needs teacher. "No call yet from the UN." Martha sighed. "I suppose that means no peace treaty."

"My mate Sharon, she got herself in trouble when she was in high school. You should have seen her, still trying to pull off those short skirts and high heels six months in. Anyway, Sharon was always a bit, I don't know...tough. Never one to crack, you know what I mean?"

Martha nodded. She'd known the type, had gone through medical school with the type of person who was completely unshakeable. No matter what the situation, they kept their heads, and sense of humor.

"Anyway, Sharon gets it in her head that she is going to go skydiving with the lot of us. It was a year end trip the school had put together. Now, mind you she's nearly eight months gone, big as a house. And, she decides to raise a stink with the powers that be. She was determined to go on that trip and jump out of that plane."

Martha could only guess where this story was headed. Donna had been there the day the pudding flew, and the day that Martha "So, I assume that she jumped out of that plane. I mean, if this story is teaching some sort of live and let live lesson, then my assumption is that she jumped out of the plane and learned the valuable lesson of pushing through opposition until you get what you want." Martha punctuated her analysis with upturned eyes.

Donna folded her arms and fixed Martha with a look she typically held for one of the Doctor's wild tangents. "No, she did not get to jump out of the plane. In fact, Sharon went into labor early, never made it to full term. The baby's lungs weren't as developed as they should have been. She spent the first ten weeks of her little life in hospital."

Martha scooted forward and took in Donna's expression. "So, what is the point of this story then?" she asked.

"The point is, life doesn't always turn out like in the movies. You don't always get the long sought after prize. Sometimes, you get what you get and by the time the end credits roll, you end up happy to have lived through it."

"That's all fine and well, Donna. But the more I read about this pregnancy, the less I like the idea."

"Little late for that, now isn't it?" Donna smiled.

'But that's the whole point, Donna." Martha scooted over and motioned for the red head to join her. "Look," she opened the book on her lap and pointed. "These pictures show in detail the absolute acclimation of the host body."

"Host?" Donna snickered. "You make it sound like one of those bad alien movies. Its not an invader. You took him on willingly, Martha."

Martha nodded but went on. "The baby takes over my immune system, my digestive system, my neural pathways have been altered as well to suit his needs. " Martha shook her head. "My neuropathic abilities have folded and quadrupled if any of this is correct."

"I don't have a medical degree, so you may have to speak plain English and not that Egg language the two of you enjoy so much. Look,I don;t know what any of that means. I am sure as hell none of it will kill you."

"Quite the opposite." she spat.

Donna stared at her friend. "I don't understand."

"Its simple, really. This baby is changing me, into something closer to Gallifrevian anatomy."

"Why would it do that?"

"To ensure the best environment for the growing fetus." The Doctor answered form his perch by the door. "Simple evolution, really. But, much like a donated kidney, I am afraid there is the threat of rejection by the host."

Both Martha and Donna looked at him with identical expressions of puzzlement. "Is that possible?" Martha asked, surprised by her own sudden concern.

"Usually, when there is no connection to the parents. It happens. Back home, we tried to avoid this sort of thing, and if we were on Gallifrey now, I am pretty sure I could stop it from happening."

"Are you saying its happening to Martha?" Donna asked.

He shrugged then. "I am saying that she is far more prone to it. There is no tie to this child, I mean other than base line mitochondrial DNA. There is no bond to him. In this stage, the fetus is developing his brain, a big part of that is ancient knowledge. "

"Your people do that?" Martha asked.

"Of course we do! Its very similar to the reptilian part of the human brain. Where yours only controls basic functions like breathing and regulating body temperature, ours is much more advanced. Language, memories, cultural markers. Its all very rational." he shrugged again.

"Rejection happens when the fetus has no connection? But you just said there is all that information stored inside the Gallifrayian brain."

"Oh, yes. In fact, it happens a lot in these cases. In fact, I am afraid it may be happening to you now, Martha. "

"How do you know that?" she asked, her hands finding their way around her small but present bump.

"Mood swings, temper tantrums... " The Doctor trailed off as if afraid of the dangerous territory. "The fact is, Martha, you have been acting unstable because the fetus is unstable."

"Oi, mate, I don't know how much time you have spent with humans, but most pregnant women of our sort have those symptoms. No offense, Martha."

Martha waved away Donna's apology/ She could not stop the emotions that flooded her with the Doctor's words. "So, he doesn't feel loved?" she asked timidly.

"Its not about love, Martha. And, I am aware of the symptoms of pregnant women. You should have seen Queen Bess. What he feels is stranded, alone. If he does

not feel a connection, then there is nothing to tie him here. He will move on."

"Move on?" Martha answered shrilly. "Move on? Move on to where?"

"He'll allow himself to be absorbed into the vortex, Martha. Its the way of my people. "

"But, he lived for almost a year in here, he could have gone into the vortex at any time. Why now?" Donna asked.

"He lived in stasis. That's different. It was a sort of prison for him. He couldn't move on, and he could not be born."

Martha suddenly understood. "Is that why you told me, now or never?" she asked. "That's why it had to be then."

"Keeping him in that bubble, Martha. It was hope for me, but torture for him. I knew you would want to try, I knew it could potentially work. I thought, if we kept him in the vortex, then he would have that connection. It would feed that part of his brain that was missing."

"But, you said it's not working." Donna said.

The Doctor nodded. "He needs, more." he sighed.

"What are the options?" Martha asked quickly.

"Let him go,Martha. Its the kidnest thing."

Martha rose to her feet and shook her head. "No, I did not go through all of this for the easy way out. What Are The Options?"

The Doctor took a step toward her and sat next to her. "The options are not what you want for your life." he spoke slowly with a kind smile. "And I am not sure it would be a good idea anyway."


	18. Are One One Of Us?

**because so many of you have given me so much encouragement, i wanted to send this one out before i got on a plane. Its short but pivotal. I say that a lot.**

**I am amazed by so much love and encouragement for this little thing. Thank you is minute in comparison to how i feel.**

**Enjoy**,

"What does that mean?" Martha nearly screamed.

"it means," he started. "That your options are wide open, but his," he waved to her middle, "aren't."

It was Donna who garnered Martha's complete respect, in the moment she spoke up for clarification. "I have had some dealings with pregnant women, Doctor, and in my experience, I find it the best course to speak directly, not in riddles."

"Thank you, Donna!" Martha threw her hands in the air. "Is it too much to ask?"

Just as the Doctor moved forward to launch into what Martha knew to be another long speech, the entire library began to shake. Books fell from the shelves and landed in piles on the floor. Martha instinctively grabbed for the back of the couch with one hand, and slung a protective arm around her middle. "Doctor!" she screamed as the shaking seemed to intensify. Donna collapsed onto a nearby chair and seemed horrified as the room continued to move.

The Doctor held on to a nearby sloshing shelf as the cloister bell began to ring. "Oh,this is not good." he shouted as the shaking came to a rumbling tremor.

"Where are we?" Donna asked the retreating Time Lord's back. "Or, when are we?"

Martha stood upon still shaking legs as she made a path behind the others.

"We should be in the vortex." he shouted over his shoulder as they moved through the halls. "But the cloister bell, it hasn't rung in a very long time."

"Is that what that is?" Martha asked, the sound through the entire ship so loud, she was compelled to cover her ears. "Its horrible."

"You have no idea!" he shouted back to her as they made their way to the console room.

"But what does it mean?" Donna hurled again. "And no mumbo-jumbo either, Space Boy! Cause that does not sound like the bloody prize patrol!"

The Doctor through himself at the buttons in front of him. He brought the viewer to eye level and ran his hands through his hair. "I don;t know." he stammered. "We are still in the vortex."

"Well land!" Martha shouted.

"What do you think I am trying to do?"he shouted tersely.

Then, as if nothing had happened, the cloister bell stopped, the small tremors halted, and the lights on the TARDIS shut off. The quiet in the room was

"What the hell?" Donna asked.

"Oi, Language!" The Doctor admonished. "We've landed."

"This does not feel right." Martha noted, backing against the wall. "I don;t like this at all."

The Doctor gave Martha a strange sort of look. "What is it, Martha?" he asked.

But she continued to shake her head. "Nothing," she answered, suddenly feeling the ridiculousness of her sudden outburst. In fact, in that instance,her whole head cleared and she smiled. "I just think we should assess any damage and get the hell out of here."

Donna nodded. "Yeah, I'm with the good doctor. I thinks we need to tuck tail and run."

"Oh," the Doctor smiled big then. "What would be the fun in that?" His affable manner changed when he realized that the power outage on board was complete. "This is both bad and familiar." he announced.

"What's happened to the power?" Donna asked.

"Nothing that hasn't happened before." he smiled, then dropped to all fours. "Come on, where are you. My trusty little night light."

Martha and Donna shared a look of utter confusion between them. Donna shrugged as Martha moved closer to where the Doctor was pawing through the grating on the floors. "Doctor?" she asked.

He came up holding a small light in his hand. "Oh how I love you, you little wonder." he smiled, kissing the small green light. HE closed his eyes and blew into the light.

"What are you on about?" Donna bellowed beside him. "Do you know where we are and if this cigar box is going to move again?"

"Yes," the Doctor said.

"Yes? To what?" Donna asked.

"Yes, I know where we are, and yes, the TARDIS is fine. Orat least, she will be in 24 hours. It's me who has ten years less." he sniffed

"So, you lost a teaspoon out of the ocean, then?" Donna waggled.

The Doctor flashed her a hateful grin before standing up. He put the light into his pocket and dusted himself off. "I am afraid we get to have a sort of impromptu vacation, ladies. The TARDIS has to be recharged. There is no where to do that here."

Martha folded her arms. "Where is here?" she asked.

"A galaxy far, far, away." he said wistfully.

"Do you remember that little conversation we had about direct answers?" Donna asked as if she were talking to a small boy who had mistakenly tracked mud across the kitchen floor, again. "Now would be a good time to use those new communication skills."

"Doesn't matter." The Doctor announced with a flourish and a suddenly serious manner. "We are allgoing to stay in here until the TARDIS resets. I learned my lesson after the last time."

"What last time?" Martha asked.

"The last time this happened." He answered curtly. "But, not this time. This time, we stay in her, this time we are going to do nothing."

"And, is this going to be dangerous? I though I had to stay in the vortex because of the baby?"

"Martha, " the Doctor began slowly coming closer to her. "We need to talk about that."

"That sounds vaguely ominous." she answered.

"Its about change, Martha. Things change. A friend of mine once said that life is what happens while you are busy making plans."

"Doctor, you are scaring me."

"Nothing to be afraid of, change is the only constant. Anyway, we have twenty four hours to hash this out. No one is leaving out of, nor coming in through those doors."

The banging on the doors of the ship precluded any further discussion. Three confused faces turned to the sound at the end of the ramp. The darkened ship felt more like a tomb than a living breathing thing.

"That had better be the Avon Lady." Donna muttered nervously.

"Or Jehovah Witnesses." Martha added, the nervousness she felt earlier was edging its way back through her blood. She could feel the wrongness as a near physical thing. "Doctor, who is it."

"I don't know." he admitted as the banging continued.

"Doctor." a voice from the other side spoke.

The voice was unfamiliar to her, but she watched the Doctor's face drain of color as he bolted toward the doors. Even before he through them open, she did not have to be told who was on the other side. There was no one that she could think of that would make him move so fast. No one save for one person.

They stood in the doorway of the stalled TARDIS, clinging to each other as old friends would. He held her tight as she buried her face into his shoulder. "It's you!" she sniffled.

"How?" Martha asked Donna, who answered with a shrug. The two women slowly edged toward the scene unfolding in front of them. Neither one wanted to break up the two but the questions they held were evident on each woman's face. Martha knew who it was, and she knew that the Doctor's priorities had just permanently shifted.

Martha watched as the Doctor stood with his hands on either side of the blonde's face. She held her hands on his, smiling with her entire body. Neither one had moved from the doorway, and Martha could not see where they had found themselves.

As if a cold bucket of water had crashed onto his head, the Doctor removed Rose's hands and stepped back. "this isn't right," he announced. "I should not be here."

"But you are." Rose squealed with all the emotion of a child on Christmas morning. "You're here! "

The Doctor shook his head. He turned to Donna and Martha and waved them back. "Donna, take Martha to the infirmary."

"Who are they?" Rose asked, and Martha noted the concealed disgust in her voice.

"Doctor, I am a grown woman, even if I wanted to go to the infirmary, I am pretty sure I could find it myself." She hated that she sounded like her mother the first time Clive brought Annalise to a family function.

"True that," Donna nodded. "And, aren't you gong to introduce us to your little friend? Or is that why you are trying to get rid of us? You ashamed of us or something?" Martha smiled, Donna was adept at making a serious issue seem light and caviler. She had been thinking it, but Donna had the balls to say it.

The Doctor had the good sense to look ashamed. He dipped his head and smiled. "Martha, Donna. This is Rose, she traveled with me for a while."

"Did a lot more than that." Rose answered with no small amount of cheek. Martha was certain there was a much longer story here, but she was also certain she would be getting little to none of it.

The Doctor's stone face confirmed her suspicions. "Yes, well." he reached behind his neck in search of an escape route.

It was Donna, again. "Nice to finally meet the great Rose." Donna smiled, but the act did not reach her eyes. In fact, Martha had only seen Donna behave in this way once; it was after the Doctor and she had returned from Blixx, a planet that had reputed to be a quiet sanctuary, but was in fact, a race of beings holding another race in servitude. Of course the Doctor had to interfere, of course there were explosions. But, in the end, the conditions that the enslaved race lived in affected Donna in such a way, she had returned quieter, more reserved than Martha had ever seen her.

Rose smiled as politely as she could, "Nice to meet you too." She cast a strange look toward Martha. "Both of you."

"Martha and Donna travel with me. Keep me out of trouble. They are fantastic." The Doctor beamed.

Rise cast a proprietary glance to the women standing behind the Doctor. She looked back to the Doctor, and Martha was certain she batted her eyelashes. "My mother would love to see you again!"

"Well..." The Doctor hemmed.

"Oh, come on! I have to tell her I'm going, and I have to get my things!"

"Things?" The Doctor asked.

But Rose had already grabbed his arm and tugged, "Of course my things!" she smiled. "Did you think you were going to leave here without me?"

"Doctor," She had watched the scene with all the horror of a slow unfolding car collusion. In the five minutes since the blond woman had stepped through the door, the Doctor had become a mindless drone in her clutches. She wondered if he even realized the hold this woman still had on him.

He turned at her voice. "Oh, right. Drained TARDIS, confused companions, no vortex energy, alternate universe, pregnant Martha..."

"Pregnant?" Rose nearly screamed. "Since when have you carted around pregnant women?" Martha could see the other question on the young woman's face, the question she wanted to ask, but dared not utter. Martha subconsciously brought her hand to her middle, the need to protect the creature inside her was growing by the day, a fact not lost on her.

"Alternate universe?" Donna and Martha chimed.

For his part, the Doctor did have the good sense to look chagrined as the information sank into all parties. "Right," he answered again. "Martha, Donna, we are in an alternate universe. Out there is London, but not the London you know. Its the same, but different."

"The same but different?" Donna repeated. "Do you even know how to give direct information?"

He went on ignoring the red head. "Out there is a universe that has very similar qualities of our own, but the differences are resounding. Not to mention, that there are copies of yourselves running about." he pointed to each of them. "Which is why you cannot go out ther. Either of you. You run into yourselves and disrupt things, there is no telling what the repercussions would be."

"Well, wouldn't you have a double out there then?" Martha asked, arms folded.

He raised his finger to speak, then stopped. "You know, that is a good question." He turned to the blond at his elbow. "So, what's the word on handsome dapper aliens sporting the latest in fashion dashing about in a magic blue box?" he grinned.

Rose shook her head. "I've worked at Torchwood since I came here two years ago. There's nothing about anyone like you here, Doctor. Believe me, I've looked."

"I bet you have." Donna muttered under her breath.

"Well, that is unfortunate." he smiled.

"Maybe you are obsessed with a different planet here." Martha asked, trying to cover her ow n grin.

"So, Doctor. Come see my mum! She talks about you all the time. She'd go mad if we left without seeing her."

"Oh, why not!" the Doctor smiled, seeming to gloss right over Rose's assumptions. "I haven;t had a good slapping since, well since your mum, Martha."

"Your mum slapped him?" Rose asked with a grin. "Did he bring you home a year late too?"

"Oh, she just plain old didn't like him." Martha offered Rose an honest smile. In that moment, she felt that the two had shared something; had arrived at a point via similar experiences. "I think if he had brought me home a year late, he's be wearing a new face right now."

The Doctor nodded as he rubbed his cheek. "yeah, I really need to stay away from mothers." He looked at Donna and smiled. "And gingers."

"Well, I am not staying on this busted down ship while you go and make social calls." Donna asserted.

The Doctor seemed pensive for a moment, he considered the situation, Martha could see the wheels moving. "All right, we go. Its another 23 hours and forty five minutes before we can recharge."

She did not want to come off as sounding needy or dependent, but Martha weighed her needs against that which she was responsible for. "Doctor, you still have not answered my question about the vortex."

"Wight!" he placed his hands on his head and rubbed his hair vigorously. "Oh!" he ran off down the hall and was gone.

His exit left an odd silenece in the console room. The three women eyed each other. "So, how far along our you?" rose asked finally.

"About five months. Still a ways to go though."

"And your husband doesn't mind you traveling with the Doctor?"

"Well, had I known this was going to be the question and answer portion of the day, I would have invited Alex Trebec." Donna added.

Rose took a guarded step back. "Just trying to make small talk." .

The silence fell again and it was Martha who decided to extend the olive branch. "You work for Torchwood, Please tell me there isn't another Captain jack Harkness running around."

"You know Jack?" rose asked, finally offering her an honest and friendly smile.

"He's my boss, and a shameless flirt." Martha said.

"And hot!" Rose added.

"Oh, really?" Donna asked "Why haven't I met this Jack yet?"

"Jack has a way of finding you." Rose said. "Nope, no Jack here. But, that may not be such a bad thing."

"He is definitely one of a kind."

"Of course I am! Last of my kind. Well for now anyway..." The Doctor looked toward Martha as he entered the console room with what looked like a bullet proof vest.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

He held up the offending article and began to strap it around Martha. "This is a little piece of the vortex." he announced. "Its not going to be what he needs, but still better than nothing."

"I could have used this the whole time?" Martha fired angrily.

"Martha, no. this is not something that should be used for humans. Do you understand?" he whispered. "You should let me

She ducked her head. "Isn't there something odd about all of this?"

"No, Martha its a temporary stop gap." The Doctor took her aside and spoke quietly. As he leaned into her ear, Martha could see Rose coming around and angling her neck to try to listen. "Its not something I would advise using for extended times, Martha. A day, and that is pushing it. If we don;t get him back into the vortex soon, I doubt if even bonding would help."

Bonding? "Wait, what?" she said loudly."No, that's not what I mean, though I think we need to have a serious discussion soon."

"Doctor! Times ticking." Rose tapped her foot.

"Right, Jackie. Mustn't keep the executioner waiting!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was astounding how both similar and dissimilar the worlds were. More than once Martha stopped to watch the Zepelens pass overhead. "I wish i'd brought my phone to take pictures of this! She sighed aloud.

"Got it!" Donna pressed her screen into Martha's face to show her. "This is something I never would've believed meself, Martha. It's home, but its not home."

Martha nodded. "Yeah, I can;t help but wonder what I'm—the me here, is like. What's she doing, who is she with. Did she make different choices..."

"The possibilities are endless! I bet I have a husband and a plumb job here." Donna sighed. "Would be about right, only in an alternate universe would I have it all together."

The two giggled together as Rose ans the Doctor walked ahead of them. Rose lived not too far from where the TARDIS landed. In fact, it was a coincidence that had Martha's shackles up/ "Donna, how did we get here?'"

"You askin' me?" Donna answered. "'Cause I have no idea."

The Doctor and Rose were up ahead, walking arm in arm and sharing some conversation that only they were privy to. The armor she wore around her was heavier than she expected, and Martha moved slower than usual. Having Donna keep her pace was a gift she did not expect. "No, I know that. But, doen;t it seem strange that rose was right there when we landed? How did she know where to meet up?"

"Dunno, but it is a good question."

"He's not thinking here. He is happy that he found her, and I am happy for him of it. But, its like nothing else matters for him right now." Martha said. "There is something here, something we are missing. The Doctor should have seen all of this, he should have his spidey senses tingling or something.'"

"Well, to be fair, he is a bit distracted. I mean, think about it, Martha. Here is someone who he has missed dearly, and just appears one day. It's got to be a great feeling."

"Or a cause for concern."

Donna walked silently for a while."What do you know about her?" Donna asked suddenly.

"Almost nothing, except that I will never measure up to her." Martha sighed.

Donna stopped walking, took Martha's arm in a firm grip and held her back from the others. "Now just wait a mo', who says you ever had to measure up to anyone?"

She felt caught out and stupid, like a moody teenager still nursing a crush. "It's not that, Donna. When I first started traveling with the Doctor, he was still nursing her loss."

Donna nodded as they began to walk again. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But, he never compared me to her."

It was another knife in an already gaping wound. "Yeah, well the truth is, it's all a moot point. He has her back now, and that is what he wanted."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Donna noted.

Martha wanted to ask what she meant, but the Doctor had turned to check on the two. "oi!" he spoke affably. "You two all right?"

"Peachy," Donna answered.


	19. A detour to your new life

**You are all so sweet thanks for all the love and support you guys are awesome. Greetings from the other side of the globe. The story continues**

To say the Tyler mansion was magnificent was an utter outrage to understatement. The mansion sat back upon a lush green field of lawn not often seen this close to London. The drive seemed to stretch out further than the street it sat upon. Martha and Donna oohed and aahed properly and reverently Rose even tilted her head backwards just to get a look at their faces as they took in the scene of her home.

"It's massive." Donna sighed. "I wouldn't want to be the one to clean the toilets in that place."

Martha smiled, leave it to Donna to keep things real. "I wouldn't want to either."

"It's fabulous, isn't it?" Rose called from in front. "It's the most wonderful place to live."

"Then why are you in such a hurry to leave it?" Martha mumbled. Donna heard her and offered a smile in agreement.

They advanced upon the stairs, the Doctor seemed poised to run at any moment, anchored only by Rose's strong grip of his arm. The front s=door swung open and what looked to be a slightly older version of Rose threw her arms open with a shrill shriek.

"You daft alien!" she yelled across the grounds. "I thought I would never see you again."

Martha could see that this was Rose's mother, the resemblance was striking. She was considering introduce=ing herself when the Doctor seemed to extract himself from the older woman's embrace. "These are my companions." he offered with a smile as Rose took his hand in hers again.

"Donna," the red head filled in, "Since he seems to have forgotten names right now."

The Doctor had the decency to look mildly chagrined as Martha extended her hand to Jackie. "Martha Jones." she smiled.

"_Doctor_ Martha Jones," the Doctor corrected with a large smile.

"Well," Jackie spoke. "Look at that, finally found someone to take care of all the bumps and bruises did ya?" She took Martha's hand and pulled her into a hug. "Anyone fool hardy enough to travel with this git is certainly welcome here."

"Ah, a woman who clearly has a firm grip on reality." Donna agreed after her hug from Jackie.

"Well, did he drag any of you off and get home a year later?" she asked pointedly, her eyes on the Doctor's now squirming form.

They entered the mansion as both Jackie and her daughter seemed to take great pride at the amazed looks on both Donna and Martha. "This is amazing," Martha breathed. Having been raised in an afluent family herself, she was yet amazed at the splendor of this one.

"Thanks," Peter answered as he entered the room holding an infant.

"Pete!" The Doctor smiled broad and slapped the man on the back. "Didn't waste any time, eh. That's what I love about you humans, make hay while the sun shines and all that."

Martha watched as the older man coughed nervously and reddened. "Well," he hemmed. "When it's right, it's right. Please, everyone come in and sit."

The small group made their way into the large parlor. Introductions flew around the room and Martha could not help but notice the proprietary arm that Rose held on the Doctor. She, Rose, steered the Doctor to a small loveseat and sat next to him.

Martha watched the two together as the afternoon bled into evening. Adventures were shared, stories of battles and losses. She learned more about her boss than she probably wanted to know. By the time Jackie ushered everyone to dinner, Martha was sure she had laughed more than she had in a long time. But, there was the sight of the Doctor with Rose that soured the sweet afternoon.

She tried to place the thoughts somewhere in her mind, to file them into a box that would make them easily identifiable. Jealousy? Did she feel jealous of what the two of them seemed to share as they laughed and shared in secret inside jokes. A word would be said, and the two would shake their headds at the rest of the room.

"You all right?" Donna asked, she had leaned over to whisper the question into her ear as they ate salmon roasted in garlic and dill.

"It's a bit much, isn't it?" Martha added. "The food, the alternate universe thing. I am pretty much ready for bed at this point."

"Well, al that is fine, but I was referring to those two over there." she gave a nod toward the 'happy couple. ' "Think I'll be happy to crawl back into that damn blue box."

"Donna," Martha smiled. "You know I think she is coming with us."

Donna shook her head, "Yeah, I don't see that happening."

"Whether you see it or not," Martha nodded over to the Doctor and Rose who were in the midst of an adolescent giggle fest, "this is happening."

Dinner over, Jackie made it a point to show the guests to their rooms. "I figured you'd want to rest," she said to Martha. "Being pregnant and all. I know when I was expecting Tony, all I d=wanted to do was sleep."

Donna and Martha exchanged a look between them. "So, Rose told you, did she?" Donna finally answered.

But Jackie waved away the allegations. "Oh, please, she's too busy fawi=ning over the Doctor to say more than two t=words to anyone else. No, I can spot it a mile away. You have a glow about you, and you avoided the wine at dinner. I had me suspicions, didn't I? You just confirmed them."

they were standing in a long hallway upstairs. Jackie, Donna and Martha glanced between each other, Jackie's glare was neither accusatory nor offensive, but Martha felt scrutinized nonetheless. "Yeah, about fuve months."

Jackie cupped Martha's face in a motherly way. "You sure travelling around withthat madman is such a good idea in your condition? I mean, it is dangerous and all."

"I stay in the TARDIS." Martha smiled back. "It's all quite safe, this is actually the first time I have been outside of it in three months. "

"And the father...?" Jackie hedged awkwardly.

"He's passed on." Donna added cryptically. Martha had to smile, Donna was not ling at all. And, it was only halfway through the inquisition that Martha realized Jackie was looking for information. Martha doubted Jackie had any nefarious reasons for wanting to know about her pregnancy, but was just curious. Perhaps feeling out for Rose, planning for later.

Jackie nodded as she came to two rooms side by side. "Well, these will do for the night. I had them bring you some clothes to sleep in. If you leave your things by the door, I can have them freshened up for you."

They thanked her as Jackie turned on her heel and left the way she came. "I don't know about all of this," Donna sighed. "It feels...odd."

Martha nodded agreement. "Well, it is an alternate universe, Donna. You suppose we should look ourselves up?"

Donna laughed as the two entered one room. They made for the computer on the desk. "I'll Google you, if you Google me." The two friends laughed at the joke.

"Ok," Martha agreed, seating herself in front of the computer. "But no matter what we find..."

"Right, right. I get it. Alternate universe, don;t interfere, don;t feel bad, don;t get involved. God, you are starting to sound like him!"

"You are not the first person to accuse me of that." Martha nodded. She tapped in the address to google and searched Donna's name. What came up was shocking.

"You, have got to be kidding me." Donna shouted in her ear.

"It's all there, Donna. You are a celebrity!" Martha smiled as they searched the=rough sites with her picture. "Look at you at the Oscars, red carpet treatment!"

"I was in a movie with Ewan McGreggor?" Donna blew a soft exhalation. "Check real quick to see if there are any assault charges against me."

Martha swatted at her friend and smiled. "Oh, you are so glamorous, Donna. Look at that." She pointed to a line of cosmetics that the Alternate Donna had created; a line geared just for gingers.

"Still," Donna sighed. "Nothing about my love life?"

"Some people are never happy." Martha giggled. She had opened her mouth to say more, but a knock at the door made both women turn their heads from the alter's opulent lifestyle.

"Who do suppose?" Donna whispered. Martha shrugged and ambled toward the door. The Doctor stood in the doorway, hands shoved into his pockets.

"Ah, Martha. Just the person I was looking for. Well, of course I was looking for you, this is your room." He seemed nervous and uncomfortable.

"Are you lost?" Donna asked from her seat at the desk.

"Lost?" he asked, angling his head around Martha to get a look at Donna. "Lost, no I came to see if things were good. They're good, right?"

Donna and Martha made to look at their watches. "Four hours," donna smile. "Some kind of new record."

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"We just assumed you were a little shall we say, preoccupied." Martha answered with as much tact as she could. "I was surprised you could tear yourself away for a few minutes. Miss Tyler seems to require much of your attention."

Donna rose from her seat, "Well, this is where I get off." she smiled and patted Martha on the back. "We'll finish later, yeah?" Donna scooted past the Doctor with a glare that would have frozen a bonfire.

"What's she on about?" The Doctor asked after the red head retreated to her own room.

Martha shrugged and sat upon the bed. "What do you need to check?" she asked coldly.

He stood next to her and began to rifle through his pockets. I wanted to make sure that the baby was sorted," he produced a stethoscope.

"Can I take this thing off yet?" she asked, tugging at the vest that she had worn since they were stranded.

But, he shook his head and advanced upon her. "No, it's still very unstable for him to be this far away from the vortex." The Doctor placed the scope on her middle.

"You mentioned before all of this, that there was a problem."

He nodded. "It's not an easy thing, cross species breeding. The fact that your sister was able to conceive is nearly a miracle. It's been done before, but it was the result of a lot of medical intervention."

"So what does that say about us humans, then?" she smiled.

"Martha, I don;t want you to worry, but you have to understand, if there is no bond, it cuts the survival rate down by a considerable amount."

t_hump_

"What do you mean by a bond?" she asked.

He passed the ear plugs to her and held the other end of the stethoscope. "there, heartbeat." he smiled.

She listened, the small yet insistent_ thump thump thump thump _resounded in her ears. She listend for longer than she imagined, comforted by the sound. "HE all right then?" she asked finally.

He nodded. "So far,"

"You still didn't answer my question." Martha insisted.

"Oh, there was a question?" he asked, tucking the stethoscope away in his over large pockets again.

"Doctor, what do you mean about the bond?"

He sat on the bed and patted her knee. "When I asked you to do this-"

"Harangued..." she nodded.

He patted her knee again but ignored her declaration. "I wasn't sure if you would. I thought it would not take, I was sure that he would simply be absorbed. A death that would satisfy your sister's situation while keeping my promise."

Martha drew her body away from him. "That's horrible," she said.

"Is it?" he asked eyes fixed upon her. "Is it more horrible to allow your sister to live in a nether existence?"

"Don't you dare sit there and pretend that your motives in this are purely altruistic." she said, anger rising with every word. "You didn't want to be alone anymore. I saw your face when the Master refused to regenerate. Don't you dare pretend that this was all for her."

"No, no of course not." he sighed and looked around the room. "But the reality of it all, Martha. The responsibility..."

It was crystal clear for her now, it was as clear as the nose on her face. "This is about her, isn;t it?" she accused. "You have Rose back, and this baby is a complication."

He looked at her as if she had grown a second nose, one purple with large warts. "What? No, no no no this has nothing to do with her."

"Does she know? I mean the truth about this . Does she know?"

He shook his head. "I was going to tell her when we were alone. It's not something that needed announcing, is it?"

But, Martha's mind was working at breakneck speed. "We came here, and there she was again, all of your hopes and dreams. I get that, Doctor. No, really, I do. But you were the one who begged me to do this. If you have changed your mind, then that's fine. I will be the responsible one." she rose from the bed and moved toward the door.

"Martha! You are letting your hormones get the better of you." he insisted.

"Oh, so now it's my hormones, is it?" she stormed. "What does that mean, exactly?"

He shook his head and rose from the bed, straightened his suit and folded his arms. "There is no pudding here to fling." he smirked. "You have to admit that there is a bond forming between you and this child. If you have not noticed it yet."

She wanted to scream at him, throw things, stamp her foot in righteous indignation. Martha did none of these things, however. She stood by the door, her arms folded over the gentle swell of her stomach. "Is she coming with us?"

"Of course Rose is coming with us, why wouldn't she?"

Martha shook her head and had to work harder at keeping her voice even and calm. "If I have to acknowledge my growing attachment to this..." She stopped, unsure of how to place a name to what she had been so detached. "Then, you need to admit that when it comes to Rose Tyler, you are completely oblivious."

"Martha," he warned.

She held up one hand and shook her head. "Right, off you go then." Martha opened the door and the Doctor was wise enough to go through. "Oh, one quick question." she added as he moved into the hallway.

The Doctor turned, hands still in his pockets. "Yes?" he asked. "Just the one?"

She leaned against the open door frame and spoke. "Yes, just the one, I won;t keep you from what is now so important."

He nodded and she went on. "How did we get here? Have you worked that out yet? You mentioned that this happened before, but how did we get here this time? And, why was Rose waiting as if she had expected this?" With that, Martha closed the door on the still pensive alien.

XXXXXXXX

"I've thought about it too." Donna admitted as she sat on her own bed next to Martha. Martha had sought refuge in the room next to hers, still wrapped in the clothes she had worn that day.

"It's odd that he has not worked it out yet." Martha posited.

"But, why would it be a big deal?" Donna asked. "I mean, so what if she brought him here. I don;t like it any more than you, Martha, but she must have missed him on some level. "

Martha shook her head. "When The Doctor told Jack where she was, he told him that she was in another universe with her family. I got the impression that it was a permanent thing."

"Impressions aren't reality."

"I know that." Martha sighed in frustration. "Call it too much time spent with the Doctor, or women's intuition. Hell it could be plain ole jealousy..."

"Or mother's intuition." Donna added pointedly.

"Not ready to deal with that accusation." Martha leaned back onto her hands and studied her middle. "Maybe this experience has changed me somehow. Maybe I am more in tune with things on a larger scale."

"Or," Donna reiterated. "It could be because you are becoming a mother lion, looking to protect your nest. Or den, or whatever it is that lions have. Martha, you have to admit you are going to be attached to this baby, whether sooner or later."

Rather later than sooner. Preferably way past the diaper and nursing stage."

They shared a laugh as old friends. Martha could not get passed how close she felt to Donna. She had become a good field replacement for her sister. "I don;t know, Donna, but I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Maybe it's time for me to go home."

"You can't do that." Donna insisted with a shake of her red head. "You can;t leave me alone, in that box, with Bella and Edward."

Martha's laugh made her feel better. It shook the whole of yher doubt and fear. "You are right." she nodded.

"Besides, the Doctor said the baby has to be inside the vortex, soak up all that vortex energy. Can;t get that back in London."

A thought ran through her head, but she decided to keep it to herself. If she did want to go home, there was a solution. "Let's see how things are in the love nest." she grinned. "I'm pretty sure after a time, they will want to be alone."

"Oh, God, now you put that image into my head. Thanks for that." Donna playfully shoved Martha as they both fell over into giggles.

"Who knows, it may not be that bad." Martha nodded. "At least we have each other."

"You right for Hallmark now?" Donna grinned.

"Oh, I wanted to check on myself here! We did you, now you get to look me up."

Donna's demeanor changed then. "Uh, you know Martha. I am pretty tired, its after midnight here. Tell you what, let's do it tomorrow morning before we leave, yeah? I bet that little Time critter could use a few zzzzz's."

Martha nodded, "Yeah, after all of that I am pretty tired. Wake me up with you in the morning?"

Donna agreed and walked her friend to the door. "Oh, yeah, like I would want to go down there alone. No thanks. I will get you up the second I am ." she promised.

XXXXXXXXXX

The morning came faster than Martha realized. Donna was in her room with a cup of decaf and a smile. "We got coffee and crumpets." she soured.

"Not a morning person, are you?" Martha smiled.

"Guess this universe doesn't agree with me. The maid keeps looking at me and asks me to sign various pieces of things. " she smiled.

"Oh, yeah?" Martha grinned. She grabbed her freshly cleaned clothees and headed off to the shower.

It is a universal invariant that a hot shower can cure any bad time, at least for the time during the shower. Martha emerged clean, fresh and warm. She and Donna made their way downstairs to breakfast.

The rest of the house had already made themselves comfortable around the large table. Pete sat feeding Tony as Jackie fussed over every dish that came out. "You have to stay on them." she smield. "I never thought I would be this kind of person, but well, you don;t want to go overboard otherwise you get extra in your eggs."

The oddest part of the meal was the cooler breeze between Rose and the Doctor. Still seated next to each other, there was less hands on involvement than the night before. Martha noted that Rose smiled less and the Doctor actually took part in the conversations that went on around the table.

"What's happened here?" Martha asked Donna.

"Dunno, I came in at the middle of the movie. Guess we have to stick around for the second showing."

The meal over, Rose excused herself. "I have to go t=get my things. I was up all night, packing. So hard to figure out, what to take. "

everyone at the table noticed Jackie's demeanor, except Rose,, of course. Too concerned with her own happiness to think about her Mum. "Well," the Doctor added. "All done then?"

"Yeah, yeah." rose smiled brightly. "I was going over so much then I realized how there is nothing for me here. I just want to be where you are."

Donna made a choking noise from her seat, as Jackie rose quickly from the table muttering about checking on the clean up.

Martha watched as the Doctor's face became a stony unreadable mask. Martha wanted to talk to him, to talk him out of this madness, but she could see it was a done deal. Left at the table with Donna, Pete, and the Doctor, the conversation turned suddenly. "Are you sure about this, Doctor?" Pete asked.

The Doctor humphed, scratched the back of his head and nodded. "Yes, yes. The TARDIS is all recharged by now. We need to get back to our own universe."

Pete nodded. "I mean, what you said last night, about the dimension cannon?"

The Doctor rose quickly and began to pace. "It must be destroyed, it must be irradicated. I will take care of things from my end, Pete, but you must ensure that that thing is never possibly created again!"

"But, she can never come back?" he asked in a small voice.

The Doctor sighed again, hands on his hips. "This is what she wants, Pete. I will keep her safe, I promise that."

"But her mother, she'll never see her again."

The Doctor nodded. "It is safer this way, Pete. I know it doesn;t seem that way, but it is. If I leave her here, she will keep trying, keeping punching holes in reality. What could come through from the void?" he asked rhetorically.

Pete shrugged. "There are bound to be plenty of those holes now." Pete warned.

Martha rose to her feet, not willing to be a voyeur in the discussion. As she made her way around the table, it was Jackie who beckoned her into a small study off the side of the kitchen.

"My office." the older woman smiled.

"It's nice." Martha said in earnest.

Jackie offered her a seat in front of a small unobtrusive desk. "I wanted to talk to you alone, Martha. I wanted to get some things out in the open."

"I don;t understand." Martha offered with hands spread in front of her.

"My daughter, she's still so young. I mean, chronologically and mentally. She travelled with him for two years, but she," Jackie sighed. "It wasn't her choice to leave him. Do you understand?"

Martha nodded. It had been her choice to walk away before, she had ahda enough of unfair comparisons and emo Doctor. "Yeah, I get that."

Jackie nodded, "yeah, I figured you would. She thinks. She fancies herself in love with him. But, I don;t see that. What I see is someone from a vastly different culture who cares about my daughter. I see someone who would bend heaven and earth, time and space for a friend. But she sees..."

"Her knight in shining armor." Martha finished.

Jackie nodded. "I'm against this. Not because I don;t think Rose will be safe, or because I will probably never see her again. I'm against this because I think my Rose is going to get her heart broken, and I won't be there to catch her when she falls."

"Mrs. Tyler-"

"Jackie, please," she corrected.

"Jackie," Martha smiled. "I don;t know what you see,m but it seems to me that the two of them are more than ready to pick up where they left off two years ago. I have watched them over the last few hours. How can you say they are not both in love?"

Jackie stared at her, arms folded and a look of absolute determination on her face. "A mother knows, you'll learn that soon enough, you will. I think there is more to this pregnancy of yours than you are lettin' on."

"Jackie."

But Jackie shook her head, "You don't owe me any kind of explanation. I just wanted you to know, that I know."

"There is more here," Martha admitted. "And maybe you have a right to know."


	20. Cause We Know

**Still plugging away at this one, the reads, reviews and alerts have been a massive act of kindness for me...thanks.**

The older woman eyed w with a suspicious but decidedly motherly glare. Martha actually felt herself squirming under Jackie's intense scrutiny. She was rather reminded of the time she was sent to the headmaster's office when she was twelve, caught smoking in the ladies room with a few friends. She thought about telling the truth, then she thought about how most people often want the truth, until they have it.

"You don't need to tell me anything." Jackie insisted.

"I don't want you to worry," Martha said.

"I'm going to worry either way, aren't I? You'll know soon. The first time they go to the store without you, the first date, the first day of school. It never ends." Jackie shook her head.

Martha felt a twinge of regret. She wanted to tell her that none of those thins mattered to her. That the child she carried would never affect her in any of those ways. She would never be that mother, at least not for this child.

"Just," Jackie shook her head, "just keep a look out for her, yeah? It's not going to be easy for her when she figures it out."

Jackie's words seemed to draw Martha from her wallow. "Figures what out?" she asked in earnest.

Jackie patted the younger woman's knee and sighed. "It's all right, Martha. There's no shame in how you feel about each other." she smiled sadly. "Only wish I could be there to help pick up the pieces."

"Pieces of what?" Martha intoned, only barely understanding what was being said.

The look the older woman fixed upon her was both angry and piteous at the same time. "Well, never you mind, guess you will all be figuring it out together, won;t you." Jackie sighed and rose from her seat. "I suppose I should put on my bravest face and go out there and say good bye to my daughter. Shame she doesn't seem so worried about leaving me. "

It was Martha's turn for the look of pity. "She does."

Jackie only nodded and led them through the kitchen back to the living room. Rose's bags were all by the front door, and the Doctor had just returned in the old machine. "Ready to roll?" he asked as he stepped into the foyer.

Rode tucked her arm into his and looked up at him with a smile. "Absolutely." she spoke and led him out the door.

Donna and Martha exchanged a look before looking to the large assortment of baggage that she had accumulated by the front door. Neither one made a move to help in moving them, so the two women stepped around them out into the large front yard.

It was Pete, Jackie, and an assortment of help that grabbed the luggage and made for the door. They came to the front of the TARDIS and stopped. "This is it then?" Jackie said.

Rose nodded, but made no move to disentangle herself from the Doctor's arm. "I suppose."

It was Jackie who made the first move, she set the bags inside of the ship as Pete strolled around the console room whistling low. "Nice," he remarked with a smile.

"I like it." the Doctor grinned. "Four on the floor, fuel injected, all that rubbish."

Jackie placed her arms around her daughter and moved her away form the Doctor. "You be sure to take care of yourself, Rose." she hugged her tightly.

"I don't need to Mum, that's what he's for." Rose answered.

"Still," she insisted as Rose pulled away. "Doctor, remember your promise." she warned.

The Doctor turned and nodded. "Always, Jackie."

He stared down at the console as a smile tugged at his thin lips. "She is in good hands." The Doctor assured the worried mother.

"I've heard that one before," Jackie said, but still brought her arms around the tall man. "Just make sure she keeps out of trouble, yeah?"

You mean that the other way about." Donna mumbled loud enough for only Martha to hear.

Goodbyes all around lasted for another half an hour before the Doctor insisted that the time window was closing. Jackie and Pete made their final adiea before reluctantly leaving the ancient machine.

Rose,however, had no tears in her eyes as her family left. She herself closed the door tightly behind them, slamming it in truth, and sighed loudly. "I thought they would never leave." she huffed to no one.

Martha was reminded of a child seeing their parents off as they enjoyed their first weekend home alone. She smiled congenially and excused herself.

It was the Doctor's footsteps closely behind her, and his hand on her elbow leading her toward the infirmary. "Oh, no you don;t' he spoke in that rapid fire way of his. "We need to make sure all is brilliant in the land of Oz." he huffed.

"Or Make Believe." she added with a sigh as she watched Rose bringing up their immediate rear.

The Doctor, noticing the young woman at his heels, turned and offered her a smile before stopping in front of the infirmary. "Doctor-Patient confidentiality.' he smiled at Rose as if she were in Fifth year.

Rose, for her part, was not happy about being left out of any part of the Doctor'

s life. "I can sit in a corner, I mean, I don't know what half of this stuff means anyway. I won't make a sound." she insisted.

The Doctor looked at Martha, who fixed upon him a glare that would have sent Francine for the hills. ""It's Martha's call" The Doctor answered the small blond. He shrugged and led Martha into the infirmary while closing the door upon Rose.

"She won't like that much," he sighed.

"This has nothing to do with Rose, does it?" Martha answered, mentally patting herself on the back as her voice managed to remain light.

"True." He answered, helping her onto the table. He helped her to remove the cumbersome vest then began setting up."I'm worried," he began finally as the screen displayed. "That he did not like our little side trip."

Martha wanted to smile, but as the view came upon them, she could see that something was wrong. "Doctor?" she asked after a long minute of silence.

The Doctor did not answer her right away. Instead, he rose from his seat and began to prepare something on the long table next to her. "Martha," he asked. "Remember what I said about viability?"

She was bothered she could not see his face as he spoke to her, she was bothered that there was no usual casual exuberance in his seeing the maturation of the fetus. What worried her most, was the sound of his voice. "You are starting to scare me."

He did not answer her, and she was surprised to find that she had expected his silence. He continued to work, as Martha rose from the gurney and made her way to his side.

"You are going to inject me with something."

"Not you," he muttered. "Him." his head twitched toward the screen on the wall. "He uh..." the Doctor sniffed loudly, it was neither watery nor an admission of emotion. But, Martha knew it was one of his 'tells.'

Martha's hand flew to her middle, in what she would never call a protective manner. "What do you mean?"

He led her back to the bed, helped her to lay flat and pointed to the screen. "What do you see?" he asked thickly.

Martha watched, but did not understand. He had grown, she could make out features of his hands and fingers, as well as a nose and the buddings of eye lids. "I don't..." she shrugged, feeling much like she had been caught out for not studying harder.

"Here's a hint." The Doctor answered, throwing the sound of the womb into glorious three dimensional intensity.

She listened for a time, Martha felt assured and comfortable at the droning of the heartbeat of her womb. The sound was familiar and rhythmic. "No," she uttered, hand over her mouth. "How can that be?"

One heartbeat.

"He isn't in full distress," the Doctor insisted, flicking his fingers upon the vial that was attached to the needle. "It could have been from the time away from the vortex."

One heartbeat.

So many emotions played inside of her at that moment that Martha was unsure how to sort them as fast as she felt them. "Does that mean..."

But, as Martha assumed the worst, the Doctor flashed one of his large smiles and gazed at her openly. "Martha, he is still alive. I assure you, one heartbeat is not completely fatal for us. You remember?"

The Carionites, how could she forget. Martha recalled an alley in Elizabethan England where she administered first aid on hi. Her first alien patient, but definitely not her last. "Yeah, yes I recall that. But, its different, isn't it? He is much more fragile than a 900 year old Time Lord."

"Says you." he smiled. "What I am going to do now, Martha, is inject him with a little pick me up."

Martha covered her middle with both hands. "You are not going to give him some synthesized alien version of caffeine or something..."

The Doctor through his head back and laughed. "No, Martha. This is synthesized, well created, well something along those lines. Its from me, actually. My DNA, its a way for him to seize onto his Time Lord anatomy. "

"You mean," she spoke, rising up a fair bit from her previously reclined position. "You mean you are going to put that, in me?"

He giggled again, but moved closer to her abdomen. "Don't be silly." he waved away. "This is going into the placenta."

Martha continued to hold her arms to her waist, a move that she had assumed would anger the alien. In fact, it did little to anger him at all. He seemed tender as he advanced to her, gently removing her hands. "Martha, it'll be all right, I promise."

"What are the side affects?" I mean, to this."

He stopped his movements and eyed her cautiously. "There may be some, nothing short of what we talked about before. The prolonged life, resistance to illnesses, there is no danger to you-"

"I meant him." she flung back., much shorter than she had intended.

The Doctor removed his hands, laid the syringe on a side table and spoke. "Martha, what we talked about before, about your closeness to the baby."

"I don't want to talk about it." Martha insisted.

He resumed his attempt to move her hands. "This si to help him, I promise I would not put you or him in any sort of danger. Not intentionally."

She had a sudden, mad thought. "If you were terminating the pregnancy..." she took a deep inhalation of breath, "You wouldn't just be injecting something in there to..."

It was a tense moment as they stared at each other. Martha had the distinct feeling that, though he did not show it on his face, she had said somehow, the right thing. He quickly took her hands in his and looked her in the eye. "I will not do that. This, from here on in, is your call." he assured her.

Martha, unsure if he was serious or not, tried, vainly to pull her hands away. He grasped tighter as she spoke. "You mean, that this whatever happens, I make the final decision?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am the one that made the promise to Tish, and I have done my part to ensure that was done. I bullied you into it. But," he looked away and smiled. "Its your life, Martha Jones. Your call, and definitely your body."

Martha nodded, finally managed to pull her hands away from his firm grasp and nodded herself. "Even if I want to terminate?" she asked slowly and in a near whisper.

"Your call." he reassured her with one of his 'deathly serious' glares.

"Ok, then." she smiled. "Go ahead, do what must be done."

XXXXXXXX

She slept after he injected her. She knew she was tired, and knew that the influx of nutrients in the drip the Doctor had started would take affect. Martha awoke to the Doctor in the midst of a seemingly tense conversation on his (her old) mobile.

"Well, you know, tests, things need to be done. We will be done when its done." she heard him say.

"Well, I know you cannot come in, its sort of a private thing." he spoke after a pause. "What? Really? Cheeky thing. All right, well, get some rest, put your things away. Yes, I will come get you when we're done."

"You don't have to stay." Martha spoke.

"Ah, you're awake." he smiled.

"You can go, I will get up when I'm rested."

But, the Doctor shook his head and pulled a chair closer to where she lay. "Nah, don't want to abandon my only patient. What kind of doctor would I be then?" he allowed his eyes to travel around the room. "A terrible one. One patient, no bedside manner."

Despite herself, Martha laughed at his manic pattern. "It's all right, I am sure Rose could use a little attention."

The Doctor did not answer her. Instead, he traveled around to the small equipment and began to put things away. "Hmmm." he answered.

"Who's cheeky?" she asked.

"Sorry?" he asked, stopping his attentions.

"On the phone, you accused someone of being cheeky. Whom?"

A broad smile crossed his features. "Ah, apparently, TARDIS has decided to make patient confidentiality her new motto in life. When we entered the infirmary here, she erased the door."

"She didn't!" Martha giggled.

But, the Doctor gave a singular nod. "She did. Rose was beside herself trying to decide her level of panic."

Martha let her smile fade before pushing a conversation that they needed to have. "Have you told her yet?"

He seemed surprised by her question, but, uncharacteristically, offered an answer. "I will." he nodded.

"You should." she asserted.

"I know." The Doctor sighed and raised himself from his seat. "Well, you will be happy to know that the transfusion was a success."

"Two heartbeats?" she asked hopefully.

"Not yet, but the one is running better. I was a little concerned at first, his one remaining heart was doing all of the work, and not working at full capacity."

"And, now?" she asked, fear in her words.

"Second heart has taken up the slack. Not sure how long before the other restarts, might not be until after birth..." he cautioned a glare at her. "This in no way means danger or the lack of it, Martha. It means, that if you decide that you want this pregnancy to progress, then every caution must be in place."

Martha, surprised at her own willingness to play it safe nodded. "Tell me what I need to do."

After a twenty minute conversation regarding do's and don't's, the two of them began to make their way toward the door of the infirmary. "Still on this side." Martha noted as the Doctor reached for the handle.

He reserved comment, until the door flung open on it's own and Donna pushed her way through. "Everything all right?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Well," Martha started to explain to the red head. Donna took it all in stride, including the increased are that Martha would require. Donna seemed to assume the caretaker role, offering to make sure that Martha stayed well within the boundaries of a healthy pregnancy.

"It's not as if I've completed medical school or anything." She huffed as both Donna and the Doctor seemed to plot her life without her.

They were coming out of the infirmary, filing out as the work had been completed. But, in the hall as first Martha, then the Doctor exited, stood Rose. "You're finally out!" she beamed at the man. She seemed to wear the face of a woman about to throw her arms around a man for no apparent good reason. Martha watched the scene as the remnants of a phrase spoken to her not too long ago drifted through her mind.

"Never waste time on a hug." he had said to her in the midst of a tense situation.

But, Rose continued to beam toward him, she had even opened her mouth to emit, what Martha could only assume, would be a high pitched girlish shriek upon seeing him again after a paltry three hours. But, what she would have said, Martha would never know, for as Donna emerged from the friendly confines, Rose's face hardened into a tight pinchy mask that reminded Martha of those dried apple dolls of her childhood. "

"What's she doing in there?" Rose pouted, "Though it was a private medical visit."

Donna smiled as she closed the door to the infirmary. The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets, and Martha folded her arms in anticipation of a tantrum that was sure to erupt.

"It's close to dinnertime, hmmm?" he tried to keep things light, and the notion of dinner turned out to be a perfect distraction.

Rose smiled then, not a big toothy one like Martha had come accustomed to in the last twenty four hours, but a plastered on one none the less. As she made her way to the kitchen with the others, Martha noted a distinctively far less than cherubic smile turned her way from Rose. In fact, Rose's glares toward her, reminded Martha very much of those BBC Channel Four documentaries, something akin to viper plotting how to get its body sized to vanquish to larger prey.

"You should sleep with your light on." Donna said once Rose's attention had returned to the doctor.

"Not her fault," Martha shrugged. "He won't tell her what's going on."

"What is going on?" Donna asked with a half smirk.

Martha shoved her friend playfully. "You know what I mean."

By the time they had all settled down to sandwiches and fruit, Martha had acclimated herself to the idea of constant help. Neither Donna nor the Doctor allowed her to do anything more strenuous than close the refrigerator door, while Rose eyed her suspiciously.

Donna scooted her into her seat with a firm hand, "It's not that we think you are an invalid." she insisted. "It's just that we think you aren't fast enough to get away from us."

Martha laughed, grateful again for Donna. "The two of you are really going to get on my nerves."

"Now, Martha, you know you could always go home." Rose insisted. "Its not as if you should be puttering around in space if you are that delicate."

The kitchen fell silent. Two pairs of brown eyes and a pair of blue seemed to flick answers toward each other at rapid speed. "Rose," the Doctor cleared his throat. "Martha is perfectly fine where she is."

"In constant danger?" Rose blasted. "I don't see how that is all right."

"It is, Rose." the Doctor insisted, in his best 'the matter is closed,' tone.

But, Rose, long used to having things as she may, would not leave well enough alone. "All the running, and danger. What about the exposure to the kinds of chemicals and things around here?" rose looked around the kitchen as if to point out that the Doctor kept open jars of Uranium near the pickles.

"Don't you worry about nothing," Donna warned, pointing at the blond with her half eaten tuna sandwich. "Martha is here of her own free will. She is here because she wants to be. She is a medical doctor herself, she knows what's good for her and what is good for the baby."

"Thanks, Donna." Martha shook her head. "But the point is Rose, I need to be here. It's sort of necessary. For him." She turned to the Doctor. "We have had this conversation, Doctor." she could feel her neck growing red, the anger of the inquisition in her eyes.

Rose tilted her head in confusion. "The father must be beside himself with worry." she insisted. "Did you leave him?

"It's fine," Martha assured her slowly. "Really."

But, the Doctor turned his attention to Martha and asked. "Martha, its all right, isn't it?"

All eyes on her, Martha took her time and drew in a long breath before answering. "You must tell her Doctor."


	21. It's So Divine

**Loooooong chapter, a lot going on here. I cannot go on enough about all of the lovely words so many of you leave for this little fic. Some of you even review every single chapter. hat is massive, thank you. Sorry in advance.**

"I don't see why she needs to even know." Donna huffed from her seat. "This is something between the Doctor and you..."

"And you too, apparently." Rose shot, arms folded.

"This does not have to take on a n acid tone." The Doctor warned. "Its a simple thing, really. Rose, you have no cause for alarm, nor concern,"

"Then why is it a big deal for anyone to tell me about what's going on." She reached across the table and took the Doctor's arm in her small hand. "If it affects you, Doctor, then I have a right to know."

Donna erupted a noise similar to a laugh but sounded more like a squelch. "Right? A right to know?"

Martha stood and raised her hands into the air in front of her. "This is out of hand, really, its no big deal. Rose, I should have allowed you to come in, it would have been a good time to explain things to you."

"If someone doesn't explain things to me soon-" Rose warned.

"You'll what?" Donna flared back.

But, the Doctor rose to stand next to Martha, who was feeling frailer and less inclined for fighting with every word spoken. "This is Martha Jones, the second bravest woman in the world."

It took twenty minutes, a series of complicated hand gestures, two pots of decaf, and a few dozen hand sketches diagrams before Rose was informed of the situation. No one really wanted her to know,but in the spirit of fairness and the fact of living in close quarters, the awful story was shared. The Doctor was visibly frustrated at the end of the tale. He slumped into his seat and spoke. To his old friend. "Rose, you must understand, this is very serious, this pregnancy is very fragile." he nodded.

"So, she could lose the baby at any time?" Rose asked, looking at Martha in a way that the pregnant woman did not like.

At all.

The Doctor either ignored her look, or did not see it. Either way, he continued on. "Yes, she must be kept from stress, a Gallifreyian pregnancy under the best of circumstances could be dangerous. These, are possibly the worst of those conditions."

"And its not yours?" Rose asked again, her words seemed to leave a hollow awkward silence in the large cluttered kitchen.

Both Martha and the Doctor shook their heads slowly. This seemed to please the blond, she shrugged her shoulders, batted her lashes, and sipped another long pull of her coffee. "I don't have a problem with it." she smiled as if her permission was all that was needed.

"Well, that's good to know," Donna muttered as she rose to clear the dishes. Martha made to joi her, but was firmly placed back into her seat. "All we needed was your seal of approval. Thanks." Donna finished in a too cheery tone.

The doctor sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. She was sure he was having some regrets about traveling with so many people. She felt sorry for him for a moment. Just a moment. "Right then, I guess that's that. So Rose, you will understand then that Martha stays on the TARDIS when we stop."

"Sure, sure." she waved away the warning. Martha could see that she was already on to something else in her mind. "I am just glad to be here again. With you."

Donna rolled her eyes as Martha ducked her head to hide a giggle. She had thought that this woman, this irreplaceable Rose Tyler, would have been gold plated, armor piercing, bright, funny, compassionate. What she could see of this woman, the picture was not completely told. The Doctor may have painted her to be the best thing since sliced bread, buttered toast, and beer in a can, but from where Martha sat, Rose Tyler was a spoiled teenager.

Rose somehow convinced the Doctor to watch a movie with her, while Donna and Martha sat in the kitchen. Martha ignored the fact that she was not allowed to do anything. Now, after the chores were finished, and Donna had insisted that Martha elevate her feet, the two friends sat together enjoying tea and sugared treats from a planet that neither one of them could pronounce.

"Can you believe her?" Donna asked with a thumb hooked back toward the door where Rose and the Doctor had left through an hour ago.

Martha shook her head with a small smirk. "I choose not to." she smiled. "Besides, she and the Doctor are old friends. I am sure whatever odd behaviors we see, maybe they are quite normal for their relationship. I mean, if you think about it, we are the interlopers here."

"Oh no we're not." Donna insisted. "We were here fair and square."

"It's not about that, Donna. I just, I don;t feel very comfortable about her being here. I cannot put my finger on it."

"Jealousy maybe?" Donna asked as she popped another morsel into her mouth.

Martha pulled a face, Donna answered with another moonish glare and the two laughed like old friends. "You know," Martha began after the laughter came to a natural stop. "I never did get to know what I was on the other side."

Donna shrugged. "Not real, is it?" she asked "I mean, what does it matter? We are who we are, and those people over there, they're not really us, no more than a twin would be us at all."

"True," Martha agreed. "It was still pretty cool, I mean, you were a proper star." she gushed. "Do you think, in some way, they are a part of who we are, or maybe what we could have been?"

"Oh, don;t you start on that nature versus nurture crap. His Royal Smartness got me on a two week argument about that once, after a trip to the Ood Sphere. It's barmy. The whole thing. You are who you are, end of it. I am no more a celebrity than I was before I read that stupid internet over there. "

Martha studied her friend's face, "You talk like it hits a little home, yeah?"

Donna wore the face of someone who wished to be elsewhere at that very moment. "No, not really. I just don't see what the point is. People who think like that, well it seems to me they are unhappy with the way their own life turned out. I never pegged you as someone who was completely unhappy with her lot."

"Define happy." Martha said. "It's not as if anyone can say they are completely happy, right."

"Martha?" Donna asked, "is this about your sister?"

"Sort of," And, for the first time in a long time, Martha began to unburden, she spoke about a year that never happened, about death, and about the fragility of life itself. Martha told Donna everything, and in turn, the older woman listened with a careful ear, even while she bustled about making tea for the both of them. Twice.

"It's not as if any of it really happened-"

"Course it happened." Donna asserted. "It happened, you remember it, and it's made you the person sitting at that table right now. Whatever anyone remembers or not, it's still happened." Then, "It's like what happened to me at The Library."

"The Library?" Martha asked, suddenly ready to step out of her own pain for a while.

Donna nodded. "It was...bloody awful. I got sucked into this alternate universe. There was someone there..." Donna let her words trail off, but after a weary sigh and a furtive look upwards, she went on. "He was my husband, and I thought it was so real, it felt so real..."

"It _was_ real." Martha assured her, using Donna's own words against her.

Martha listened this time, and felt the pain of loss for her friend. It was no less a loss, and entire world that did not exist. She felt with Donna as Donna told her about children that were as much hers as anyone had ever flet. "I don't know how to stop thinking about it." Donna confided.

Martha nodded her head. "Yeah, it's like there, all the time. Sometimes I walk past a shop in London, and I remember what it looked like in that year, and I have to shut my eyes and count to ten, to remind myself what's real."

Donna shook her head vigorously. "That's right! Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to go check on the kids...only they aren't there. They are never going to be there."

"Did you ever find Lee?" Martha asked.

But, Donna shook her head. "No, he just, didn't exist is all." she sighed. "You know, it was the first time I ever met a guy I could stand being in the same room with without wanting to slap him."

Martha laughed. "And we know how hard those are to find, don't we?"

"Gettin' bloody harder every day." She sobered a bit and looked down at her hands. Martha was struck at how both intelligent and fragile this brash woman was. It was as if she hid behind a wall of loud just so no one could see the real her.

"I think about Lee a lot too." Donna finally admitted.

Martha nodded. "Yeah, I get that. I think there is this odd dichotomy in traveling with that crazy alien. You see so much that you never would have seen, but it kills you a little bit inside each time."

"Just a little." Donna nodded. "But it's so worth it."

"It so is!" Martha agreed with a flash. They sat at that odd, old table of questionable material and sipped the last of their fifth cup of tea. The pain each of them carried somehow lessened by the sharing of it. "You don't like her, do you?"

"Not one little bit." Donna admitted without looking up.

Martha nodded. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked taking another deep sigh for strength. Donna rose to her feet to get another pot on, but Martha held her arm. "No, not tea. Nothing as pedestrian as that."

Donna smiled. "All right then, but I have a feeling I won't like it."

Martha shrugged. "Probably not. It's just that, we all have to live here, and regardless of what we feel or may feel about the Doctor's friend, we should try to get on here, yeah?"

Donna tilted her head back so far her neck bulged. "And why would we want that?" she asked.

"Well, he seems to really like her, and they get on pretty well. I don't know. Maybe it's because I knew him when he first lost her. I sorta feel a little sorry for them."

"You forget, Sunshine, I met him right after he lost her, and let me tell you, there was a huge difference in seeing him like that. She left him full of rage and anger and vengeance. There was nothing of that girl's leaving that wasn't a bad idea."

"He'd already been through a lot, you know that Donna."

But Donna was insistent, one thing Martha knew about her newest friend, she was dead set in her ways, an opinion formed was an opinion kept. "no, Martha He was different, immature some how. I don't think she was good for him. Is good for him."

"Be that as it may, it is not for us to sit here and decide who should be with whom. I just think that, if they want to be together, and we both care about the Doctor, then we should try to get along."

Donna shook her head again, "Nope, try again."

"I don't need all the extra stress. It's hard enough, going through all of this." she sighed here. "Anyway, I just want a quiet environment until this is over and I can go home."

"You know how to fight dirty."

"Yup," Martha smiled.

"You really care about that daft old thing, don't you?" Donna asked with a small smirk.

But Martha shook her head. "No, its not that. If it was that, I would be the first one to admit it. This is," Martha brought her hands to her middle. "Oh my God!"

Donna flew from her seat, "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

Before Martha could tell her, the Doctor came rushing in, "What?" he spoke calmly, but his eyes were alight.

Martha grabbed both his hands from where she sat and placed them on her middle. The room fell into a tense, poignant silence. "That is remarkable."

Martha nodded her head as he continued to feel what she had felt. "He moved," she smiled.

"He's moved?" the Doctor asked with a smirk. "He's doing more than moving. He's practically galloping in there! For all we know, he could be playing Quidditch. Well, that would be a bit hard wouldn't? Don't suppose you could be hiding a Firebolt in there." The look on Martha's face was all the answer he needed. "No," he agreed finally, "I suppose not."

"If you're anything to judge by your kind, he is probably practicing running." Donna smirked, but came closer. The red head reached out a hand tentatively, a hand Martha grabbed quickly and placed on a free spot.

No one spoke, for what may have been hours. The three friends sat in gentle awe of the natural but astonishing miracle. The scene would have gone on undisturbed for another long spell, had not the movie ended.

"Well, what's all this then?" Rose asked as she breezed into the kitchen. She seemed nonplussed by the actions of her fellow travelers.

"Miracles." The Doctor smiled, but kept his hands where they were.

"I thought we were watching a movie," the younger woman asked with a pout. "It was just getting to the good part."

"Don't worry," Donna said. "The Little engine makes it to the top of the hill." It was a look from Martha that seemed to remind the older woman of her promise. Donna removed her hands from Martha and shuffled off to make tea.

"So, what's all this then?" Rose asked sweetly with a timid smile.

"Oh, uh..." The Doctor seemed to suddenly remember that the blond was in the room. "Apparently the eagle has taken flight."

"I'm sorry?" Rose asked.

Martha shook her head with a smile. "He means is that the baby moved."

"Well, truth be told," The Doctor began, straightening up to stand next to Rose. "He's been moiving the whole time, its just that this is the first time any of us has noticed." he grinned.

"You think you are so clever," Martha smiled.

"Course I'm clever." he beamed. "Anyway, we were having sort of a peep show, weren't we?" The Doctor let his gaze go around the room as if looking for back up. "Well, maybe peep how was the wrong turn of phrase. We were, enjoying the moment, sharing in the wonderment, basking in the glow of new life."

"You're babbling, you prawn." Donna offered from her position in front of the large sink.

"Wow," Rose finally spoke. "So, you really are pregnant then."

"I hope so," Martha returned with a genuine smile, "Otherwise, I have some serious gastric-enterological issues I need to see someone about."

The four of them shared a laugh, and for the first time, everyone was in on the joke.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The weeks seemed to pass as they had done before their side trip to the alternate universe, with Martha missing home and her family more and more. She spent much of her time as an honored guest of the ancient ship, but began to feel more and more like a pampered prisoner. The four of them often ate together, with Rose and the Doctor spending more time together.

For the most part, Donna kept to her promise; she offered no ill will toward Rose, even made an honest effort to befriend the younger woman. Martha wanted the Doctor to feel as if he had come to his relationship with Rose with the full benefit of his friends.

In truth, Martha wondered where that placed her, where did she belong in this picture. She carried a child that was no more hers than it was the Doctor's but in some ways, she felt, if it really came down to brass tacks, she had a bit more of a claim over him. He was, after all, her nephew.

But, on the other side of the coin, there was the factor of his being an alien life form. No matter how much she wanted to dress up the idea that she held some form of relational tie to the baby, he would be something entirely different for her in the long run. She could never dream to cart him off to Earth; aside from how that may make her sister feel, there was no safe way to raise a child like that on a planet that still held alien life as science fiction.

If she sat too long and thought about it too hard, Martha knew there was something growing inside of her, something that was neither made of flesh nor bone. A feeling, a need to protect the life that she carried.

Rose never came into the infirmary with them. Somehow, there was always some way that the ship managed to keep her out, and no amount of pleading or staging from any party changed that.

The first trip for the three of them off of the TARDIS was when Rose learned that Martha could fly it.

"Why does she know how to work your ship?" Rose asked in an all too familiar tone.

The Doctor sighed and scratched the back of his head. "It's a mauve alert, Rose, do we really have to have this conversation now?"

But, as they all soon learned, Rose was not one to be put off when in the middle of a rant, something that both Donna and Martha secretly saw as one of she and the Doctor's commonalities.

The thing is," she went on, heedless of the flashing light on the console. "You know I always wanted to fly this thing." she punctuated her message with a great batting of her does eyes.

He managed to put her off, the alert went worse, and the three of them left the TARDIS with Martha at the helm. But, upon their return, all three haggard and worn out after an insurrection on some small planet, Rose began to act differently toward Martha. Sweeter, somehow. Martha assumed that the Doctor, possibly during some incarceration period on that planet, had managed to talk some sense into the blond.

The Doctor, however, had developed a touch fetish. He had always been a very tactile being, but lately, he took any instance he could to touch Martha, especially her middle.

She tried not to put too much stock into it, but there were times when she wondered if there was more to his need for touching her.

As Martha's pregnancy progressed, the second heart still had not restarted. The baby continued to grow, and thrive, with is single heart beating.

"Will it affect him, I mean, all of this time with only one heart going?" Martha asked as they sat in the infirmary. Donna had opted to not come in any longer, an attempt to keep Rose from being too upset.

The Doctor shrugged, "We really won't know until afterward." he hemmed. Martha had made it to her eighth month, and while she was careful of everything she did, and took care not to agitate herself, even when one of them came back injured, she still worried incessantly about how her stress levels were affecting the baby. Did she eat enough? Did she eat the right things? Were her feet better elevated, or at floor level?

"He's thriving, we should be glad for that. He is growing, good brain development, good size. In fact, apart form his second heart not starting, I would give him a clean bill of health. But, let's not push it, yeah? No dashing around. Or running races."

"Well, I don;t go out for your little exercise fests that you deem lesion entertainment." Martha smiled. "But, yes I will continue to take it easy, " she held up two fingers, and placed one hand over her heart. "Scout's honor."

The Doctor seemed to consider her as he spoke. "Martha," he began slowly, "Have you given any more thought to, afterward?"

Martha knew this conversation would come. It was the perfect venue for it, they were alone and it was quiet in the infirmary. "I didn;t know there was anything to think about. I miss home, my family, my job."

The Doctor nodded. "You know, you are welcome to stay. I mean, it may not be such a bad thing, having you here with him."

"What? And be in the way? No, I think you have all you need here, Doctor. I have really enjoyed everything, don't get me wrong. Not to mention learning to fly a ship like this one."

He offered her a small smile. "Still, it may not be easy-"

But, Martha was quick to wave away his words. "Doctor, I need to be home, Tish is still healing. I am purposely not calling them so to stick to the timeline of being home only a day from when I left. I don't want this to be all for nothing."

"It's not all for nothing, " he answered in a surprisingly small voice. "I thought, well, I thought this would be..."

Martha rose to a sitting position on the gurney, "It's fine, Doctor. I will miss being here, and Donna. I just, really need to be home."

He nodded and offered her an arm to get down from the high bed. "Still, if you change your mind."

But, Martha wasn't sure he new what he was getting into. "Have you thought about any of this? I mean, how this may change your life?"

"Oh, you know, I'm always thinking, me." he smiled. "But, yes, I have a few ideas. That is, if everything turns out favorably."

"Big plans, then?" she asked as breezily as she could manage. Since Rose had come traveling with them, Martha had imagined that the three of them, Rose, The Doctor, and whatever horrid name he had picked out, would remain on the TARDIS; a proper family. It was at the heart of her plea to Donna to relent a bit on the younger occupant. They needed time to be with each other before their lives changed irrevocably.

"Ah, mmmm." he answered noncommittally.

"Besides," she began with a plastered smile. "You will be a great Dad."

"Oh," he seemed shocked by that. "Yeah, I suppose I will be, that. A dad. Well. Didn't think of that bit of it, did I?"

Martha patted his arm as they walked the corridor back to the kitchen. "It'll come to you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

What came two weeks later was far more than any of them had expected. It was a trip to Cleff, a planet of music. The language was hymnal, everything and everyone spoke in rhythmic cadence. Martha listened as the Doctor described the location as he shoved his arms into his ubiquitous brown coat and headed for the doors, flanked by Rose and Donna.

For the first time, Martha had wanted to go with. There must have been something in her expression, because he stopped, walked back up to the ramp and took her by the arm. "We'll stay if you want."

She shook her head, "No, go, have a good time." she smiled bravely and turned to look in his eyes. "Really, I'm ok."

"You sure?" he asked. "I am sure I could find a nice dangerous location, or a desert, something not as fun."

"Oi, you! There is no guarantee that what's on the other end of that door ain't gonna try to kill us, or at the very least, make me wish I'd warn me Nikes!" Donna flared.

But the Doctor continued to fix his glare upon Martha; under his intense glare, she began to feel almost uncomfortable. Almost. "It's fine, really."

"No," he thought aloud. "Someone should stay back with you."

"Why now?" Martha asked, feeling angry at being treated like a small and fragile child.

"Yeah, she's been running that thing for bloody months." Donna flared. "Don;t treat her like an invalid, Doctor. It's not right."

"I'll stay." It was Rose who raised her hand from across the console room. "What do I need to see a planet of music for, unless Jay-Z is there?"

The Doctor seemed to consider her question for a moment. "No, no I don;t think so. I left him in New York, so I'm pretty sure he's still there."

"Well," Rose smiled big, "That settles it then. I stay, you and Donna go, have fun with your run...er trip." she smiled.

"Well, maybe I should stay." Donna hemmed. Martha could tell she really wanted to go, and after their talks about her travels with the Doctor, Martha knew that Donna was still haunted by the beauty of the Ood Song. She really wanted to go.

"No, Donna, Rose I will be fine. It's nothing really, I am going to put my feet up, maybe knit a few booties. And, I am craving some butterscothc pudding." she smiled.

"Not in the console room!" the Doctor spoke quickly.

But, Rose had already taken her coat and puse off, had hung them on the one of the coral struts. "I really don't feel like running today, not after that trip to Gwalf."

"Rose, I did warn you..." The Doctor stated again for the millionth time.

Rose waved him away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Don't push the red button, Rose.' 'Don't go making trouble, Rose.' 'Don't offer people rides in the TARDIS to change established events, Rose.' 'Not in the sacred temple, Rose.' I get it. It was my fault." She sighed heavily and made a big show of plopping into the jump seat and folding her arms with all the petulance of an oncoming tantrum. "I'm staying home."

"Go ahead you two, have a great time. I'll be fine." Martha grinned to convince the others that she would be all right.

"If you're sure." the Doctor asked her again, still fixing her with that intense glare. "If you are sure, Martha."

"I'm sure." she assured him again. "Have a great time."

HE spun around the console. "Right then, You two, have a good time, but not too good." He flashed a cheesy smile at the two women. "Rose, make sure Martha does not over do it. If there is anything that goes wrong, phone me, text me, send up a flare. And You," He turned to face Martha as he stood by the door. "Take it easy, be careful. And I mean no, no pudding in the condole room."

"I am so eating pudding in the console room." Martha giggled at his manic behavior.

"Rebel!" he smiled as he opened the door.

Donna looked back at her friend. "You sure, Martha?" she asked.

"Oh, go on you, you're like an old Fishwife."

"Oh I have dated a few fish in my life. Never married any of 'em. Thank God for that. Ta!" Donna waved and followed the Doctor out of the door. Once it closed, Martha sent the TARDIS into the vortex.

"Why do I feel like our parents have gone on holiday and left us home alons?" Rose asked with a giggle.

Martha returned the smile and moved to sit on the seat next to Rose. "It always feels like that when I am alone in here."

A silence fell for a time as the two considered what to say to one another. It was Rose who finally spoke. "What's it like? I mean," she pointed to Martha's already overlarge but not quite done middle.

"Oh, it's well, hard to describe, isn't it?" Martha answered with a sigh. "It's both tedious and fantastic at the same time."

Rose nodded. "You know, when I first saw you two on here, I was a bit surprised. I had never met Donna before, but back in the other universe, well she's a celebrity. For the first three weeks here, I had to stop myself from asking her for her autograph and if Hugh Grant is still stalking her."

"Hugh Grant, really?" Martha laughed. "Oh I bet Donna would just love that!"

Rose nodded. "But you seemed familiar, only I couldn't place your face."

"I don't think you and I had ever met before Rose, but I had heard so much about you." Martha said.

"Yeah, he talks about you a lot." Rose said. "It's always 'Martha would know what to do.' and 'I hope she's all right.' Really, he sounds like one of those over freaked out father's waiting for d-day."

"He is good with comparisons, that one." Martha agreed. "Don;t feel bad, I got the same treatment about you when I first met him. I think he should really work on that thinking out loud thing he does."

Rose nodded. "Still, it took me a bit to remember you. Not this you, the one from the other side. Two celebrities on one ship."

Martha was astounded. "Really? I'm a celebrity as well? We looked up Donna's, but never got the chance to see who I am there."

"Well, I wouldn't say famous, its more like infamous." Rose's tone was both light and mildly mocking.

At some point, the conversation had turned, and Martha began to get the feeling she should not hear the rest. But she really, really wanted to. "Infamous?" Martha asked from what felt like a very great distance.

"Oh, well, yeah. It's Dr. Death you are." Rose smiled sweetly.

"Dr. Death?"

"Well, it's more like, Dr. and Mr. Death. Your husband and you. Took me a while to place him too, but Mum remembered him right off."


	22. Tell All Of Your Friends, Goodbye

**Greetings from the other side of the world. I want to thank all of you for tuning in. This has become my magnum opus, i hope none of you mind. Speaking of all of my lovely readers, just thanks seriously the love for this thing amazes and humbles me! Oh, and the song that is sung in here is a real song. Its called The Scotsman, if you have never heard it, You Tube that shit, funny funny...I wonder if its true what they don't wear beneath their kilt? Enjoy.**

"He was crazy, you know. I mean in my universe, the man you, well the other you, called husband was a right lunatic."

"Really." Martha answered. She felt a detachment from the conversation, a distance. She wanted to know, but at the same time, Martha knew this was something she had no business knowing. As if to stress the point, she could feel the baby move around, shifting positions as if to get a better vantage point.

"Oh, yeah. Of course, I had no idea who he was. I mean, by the time he was a politician I was off traveling with the Doctor. But Mum remembered him. She thought he was adorable. She was going to vote for him before everything changed."

"No," Martha shook her head, that detachment become cloying interest.

"Oh, yeah!" Rose answered sweetly. "You two, I mean Saxon and you over there, you were monsters. You are a bit older over there, guess time moves along differently. But, you and Harold Saxon. That was all over the papers in London. It's amazing how things carry over, innit?" Rose smiled sweetly and batted her lashes for good measure. "Imagine my surprise when you all tell me what he's been up to over here. Imagine my surprise when I come here and find out, you're carrying his baby. Well, sorta." Rose shrugged apathetically. "I mean, its sorta funny if you think about it."

"I fail to see the humor, Rose." Martha drew her shoulders together and glared at the woman next to her.

This was war.

"Oh, right, cause you don't know the story." Rose made a funny tic with her head with her hand poised at the side. She waggled her tongue as if to say she was losing her mind. But, Martha heard the accusation loud and clear. Rose had not once met her eyes since her tale telling began. Martha had the distinct feeling the blond was more than happy to tell her about her demented dimension. "I guess the short story of it is sorta messy. I didn't follow the whole thing, or read any of the books about it. I did though, listen to my Mum go on and on about how you were so crazy to stand by your husband and all that."

Martha felt herself grow small, tuck into herself and wish to disappear. This was a story she knew would serve no other purpose than to hurt. "Well, we are not the same person, different universes, different existence. I mean, you were a dog there." Martha smiled at Rose's affronted demeanor at her accusation.

"Well, it's still pretty interesting. I mean, who would have thought, you seemed so...normal. Even that other you. You, she, was a doctor. A good one too, married Harold Saxon, a bloke from a good family. He was into politics here too, but he didn't get very far. Mum said people here were smarter than that, smarter on this side after everything they had been through with that cybermen thing." Rose sniffed and drew her legs onto the chair, Martha had the impression she was settling in for story time.

"Well, its all a nice story, Rose, but I really should go on for a nap." Martha hedged, trying to stave off what she was sure to be a nasty tale. She did not want to know, didn't want to know any of the horrid little bits that Rose was so ready to share. Funny how she picked the time when no one else was about to share them.

"Saxon worked for Torchwood for a while, had a lot of knowledge about alien life and the like. He was good with technology too. He was long gone form there by the time I got left in the place. But, everyone who remembered him said his knowledge was freaky." Rose shrugged. "He was a right bastard too, smug, full of himself. Had a lot of brains, but absolutely no people skills." Rose shrugged and shook her head. "But, he was brilliant. Like, Doctor brilliant. "

Martha nodded, not sure of what else to do or say. She had the feeling this story would be told whether she wanted to hear it or not.

"Anyway. He got started into this whole movement about, oh what's that word," Rose snapped her fingers trying to recall a word Martha was sure she could not pronounce.

"What word?" Martha asked flatly.

"Oh, you know. The one where you breed only the smartest and the best..."

"Eugenics." Martha finished with that same flat tone.

"Right, right." Rose pointed a slim finger at the pregnant woman. "That's the one. Oh, he was completely barmy about that one. Had a clinic, that's how he and you...sorry, the other Martha met. She was a geneticist, top of her field there I've heard. He brought her in to work at his clinic. When he opened, it was supposedly a fertility clinic. You know hapless couples who needed help to have a baby. That's how it started at least. But, what was really going on was way worse than anything anyone could have imagined."

Rose scooted closer to Martha, brought her head closer to the pregnant woman, and offered the rest of the tale in a strange, strangled stage whisper. "Genetic experiments." Rose nodded. "Saxon wanted to make the perfect humans, more human than human. He spouted about the possibilities of the human existence. In truth, he was taking his sperm, and his wife's eggs and making abominations of science."

It was cold suddenly, colder than Martha cold ever remember being. The air in the TARDIS had all been sucked out into the vortex. She no longer lived in a nutrient rich environment. She was out in space, drifting. "Genetic monsters." Martha intoned.

"Yeah, like they were trying to develop a baby with wings, or a fetus with lungs on the outside of its skin. Like, they were trying to develop some sort of secondary respiratory system. It was awful:"

She didn't want to hear any more. Whatever lead her other self to follow blindly behind a man, well it was too much. There were enough similarities to make her stomach roll over, sit up, and play dead. "I think," she swallowed to keep the bilr down. "I think I am done with this." Martha plead.

But, Rose had only warmed up. "You don;t think that maybe." Rose hemmed, as if thinking aloud, but looking at Martha. "Maybe somewhere in you that monster is there? Maybe that's been in your nature the whole time? "

"I don't know, Rose." Martha shrugged, but she had considered, had been considering it since Rose's awful admissions were first uttered.

Rose shrugged again. "Pretty sure that must be it." she nodded. The other Martha had the same upbringing, same family."

"There are other factors to nurture, Rose. Don't talk about things you know nothing about." Martha warned, arms folded, but despite her strong demeanor, she wondered if her voice had cracked at all. "And, anyway, why do _you_ care? What is it to you?"

"I just think that, if you are about to bring a baby into the world, given its...lineage, I don;t know its something to think about, innit?"

"Still, its really no business of _yours_." Martha insisted.

"The Doctor _is_ my business/" Rose answered sourly.

"Won't be so much soon, will it?" Martha said. "I mean, there will be a lot of bottles and dirty nappies around soon, not much time for fun and travel. Will that be your business as well?"

Rose looked as if she had been struck in the face with a rather large stick. She blinked several times as if the notion of parenting had never crossed her mind. "Oh," she smiled again. "I'm sure Donna will love to take care of the messy end."

"But, not you, right Rose? If the Doctor is your business, and the baby is his business, then, where does that leave you?"

Perhaps it was the first miraculous sign of the apocalypse, but Rose had nothing else to say. In fact she sat in her seat, dumbly pondering the meaning of what Martha said. Martha could only assume that while Rose was surely no mathematician, 1+1+1 was not adding up to the figure she had originally cyphered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She somehow managed to make it to the console, teetering on shaky legs, Martha held herself up by the Helmic Regulator. She thrust forward and fell back into the jump seat with the force of her actions. She felt as if she had cried for ten days straight, without ever shedding a real tear, but, it was still lingering in her that dragged down shaky feeling. She had not felt this b

Martha knew that Rose had not lies, it was obvious in the way that Donna had avoided any conversations about the other her in that universe. Donna had also drawn her attention away from any semblance to their other selves. There was no anger in her accusations of Donna's omissions. Martha understood her friend's wanting to keep her from the information, her pregnancy was not an easy one. But, she also felt a stab of pain at everyone else knowing about it. Did they discuss it? Was there a good laugh held at her expense over the whole thing?

On the other side, Martha was a troubled woman, she had not walked the earth, she had not saved humanity, she had gone along with it's destruction.

What did it mean for her here? When she and Donna had found out about Donna's celebrity on the other side, Martha could see it, she could see in the older woman the personality of a celebrity in Donna. Wht did that mean for Martha? Were there flaws in her own persona that made her more likely to kill?

She had killed that year, hadn't she? In Japan, when she had to make it out of the country before it burned, there were those who, for a few extra morsels of food, were sent to find her. She had killed them. She had killed many times that year.

She wanted to run, but Martha Jones refused to give the younger woman the satisfaction of having shaken her. Rose's story did shake Martha, shook her to her very core. If she had ever developed some affinity with the child she carried, it was gone. She felt nothing. She wanted it over, wanted it to go away. Bad enough to know the face of the monster herself, but to learn that she had an affinity for the monster; it made her sick to her stomach.

"You all right?" Rose asked from her position on the seat, reclined with her legs on the side that Martha had vacated, Rose seemed to lounge, basking in her sense of a job well done.

Martha chose to ignore her question. Instead,m she studied the intricate road map of bells and buttons on the TARDIS console. Was she predisposed to follow behind strange me? Was it her lot in life to fall into whatever they did? She followed the Doctor,

Rose continued to stare at her with a satisfied and smug glower. Martha felt faint, wanted to lie down and sleep for about a week. How foolish she was to think that Rose was merely a selfish child who had no consideration for others. She was far worse than that, much worse. Rose Tyler was a danger to those around her. "I'm going to go lie down." she offered to the younger woman with a small tired smile.

"Right," Rose nodded, still smirking. "Lie down."

Martha had ambled into the hallway leading to the outer corridors. She turned back to really look at the younger woman. Not unattractive, but definitely someone who did not have a lot to offer in the brains department. Martha wondered what the Doctor saw in her, what was the hold this young woman had over him. Her mother used to say how opposites attracted, how two people seemingly from opposite ends of the gene pool were more likely to find each other perfect mates, than those who were too similar. It was something her mother had learned about diversity in the gene pool. A throw back to the primitive. She could see it, in some small ways. The Doctor was a being who appreciated seeing the universe through the eyes of those less experienced. He loved to show off. She also knew that Rose held that identity of child like wonderment that the Doctor seemed to feed off of.

There were other things that Martha assumed they shared, but dared not guess at. She knew well a sexual relationship can often be misinterpreted as love. She let that one go, whatever the two of them got up to in the privacy of their own rooms was nothing for her to judge. Martha shook her head, straightened her back, and sighed.

Martha considered laying into her, considered tearing her down to nothing and making her feel as awful as she did. But, Martha could not even build the level of care to tear the younger woman down. What would be the point? She had to stay here, with them, until her job was over. She was stuck here, on this ancient ship , hurdling through time and space at a million miles an hour.

Then, it struck her. She did not have to stay here. Some small indivisible truth that she had come to, ironically enough while in the other universe. She could leave, there was somewhere she could go.

She shook her head, and walked toward her own room, leaving the blond to sit in the console room alone, still wearing her victory smirk.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

IT was three days before they returned. Plenty of time for Martha to have packed up her room and avoided Rose as often as possible. Before having Rose there, when everyone left, Martha spent her time in the console room, feet on the console, reading, or writing, or surfing the universe's version of the internet. There were many times she would talk aloud to the TARDIS, and often fancied that the ancient ship answered her on some level, or, at the very least, was a willing and active listener.

But, with Rose ruling the roost, Martha avoided the console room as if it were on fire. She had no inclination to learn of any new details about her other self. Martha felt that she had heard enough about Martha Saxon, than you very much. Martha spent the three days waiting for the phone call to come from Donna and the Doctor.

He did call, twice. Both times to make sure Martha was all right, had she eaten her vegetables, was there pudding in the console? Martha gave all the right answers to is questions, and maintained a cheery voice as she talked to him. She even brought the phone to Rose so that the two could have a conversation. Martha never begrudged their relationship, and could not understand why Rose felt so threatened.

By the time she got the call from Donna to return, Martha was all packed and had practiced her argument for going home more times than an Oscar winner. She shrugged her shoulders as Rose sat on the seat making pokey faces at her the whole time. Rose had not offered to help her with her bags, merely watched in solemn glee as Martha moved the tow wheeled suitcases to the ramp beside the door. She brought the ship to a gentle and skilled landing before bringing her hands to her back and stretching.

The two burst through the double doors of the TARDIS like a gust of wind after a long hot summer's day. Giddy and laughing, the two were arm and arm, Donna had flowers in her hair, while the Doctor sported a large cone shaped hat that looked like it may have belonged to Merlin at some time. They both wore gaudy smiles, as large as any Martha had ever seen on the pair. It was the first time she truly regretted not being able to go with them. Martha doubted they had to run from anything scarier than a tone deaf drunk.

"_Ring ding diddle iddle I dee oh Ring die diddly I oh!_

_Oh Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see ya won first prize!"_

The Doctor and Donna finished the song with raucous laughter. "That never gets old." Donna tittered as she moved across the room.

"It does if you've lived it." The Doctor sputtered. He moved toward Martha with a speed and stealth that surprised the young woman. "How've you been, how are you. Still baking I see. Have a good time?"

Martha did not raise her head immediately to meet his stare. She steeled herself against the oncoming onslaught. Her first impression was to glare in Rose's direction, but halted any adolescent accusatory actions. Instead, she slowly raised her eyes to his and offered a sad smile. "We need to talk." she offered.

"Hey, who's leavin'? Donna asked, nearly tripping over Martha's luggage.

The Doctor turned toward the baggage. He first glanced toward Rose, who shook her head with another patented saccherine smile. He turned to face Martha. "What is it?" he asked.

Martha shook her head. "It's time for me to go home, Doctor." Martha offered with a long held breath.

The Doctor nodded, he looked around the room and took another step toward her. "Home." he repeated.

"OO, look at that," Donna answered cheerily as she bustled toward Rose. "It's time for tea. Rose, come gimmie a hand, yeah?" Donna ignored Rose's head shake and grabbed the younger woman by her arm. To Rose's credit, she was smart enough to read the look on the red head's face and offered no argument. The two left the room with Rose still looking over her shoulder trying to catch the show.

"I don't understand." The Doctor began. "You understand the risks."

Martha nodded, "Yes, but you also said this is my call, that from here on out, this is my decision."

It was the Doctor's turn to nod. "I did, but why now Martha?" he asked in a voice that Martha had never heard come from him. It was small, almost pleading. "Only four more months left. He still has a chance."

She put her hand on his arm without even realizing. Something about his touch gave her a moment's comfort, contact with him was a balm she neither expected nor understood how to categorize. "I know. I have a plan." she smiled bravely.

He stared at her expectantly, as if she were the only person left in the universe. "Martha, please." he spoke.

"The rift. The one in Cardiff. The vortex energy bleeds out of it, along with everything else. I can stay there until he is born, then you can come and get him." she smiled again, that brave grin that fooled neither one of them.

"Did something happen at home? Is your sister..." he asked

Martha shook her head. "No, as far as I know they are all fine. It will be great to see them. I will have to let them know..." her words trailed off and she looked at her middle. "But, it will be fine, Doctor. Everyone will understand. " She sighed as she imagined her mother's face. "Or not."

He nodded, but turned his face away from her. "I don;t understand..." the Doctor insisted. "Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" he asked, hands jammed into his pockets.

"No, not this time."

"There was something I could have said last itime you left me?" he asked, his chin rose into the air, his eyes hooded.

"We both know the answer to that." Martha turned away, inwardly cursing her hormones for reading too much into the sad affect the man in front of her now sported.

He nodded, but did not answer her. Instead, he moved away and began to set coordinates. "Jack knows you are coming?" he asked.

"Yeah, I told him everything, he's already got a plush room set up for me. He says he promises to make sure I do little more than wiggle a finger."

He nodded again, turned to face her, hand on the handbrake. "You're sure? You don't have to go, Martha."

"Yes, I do."

Donna came in with Rose at her heels. The two women stopped as if they had interrupted something important. "You're really leaving then?" Donna asked sadly.

"It's time." Martha nodded.

Rose smiled big and rushed over to the Doctor's side. "You'll be fine!" she insisted, tugging at the Doctor's elbow.

Martha nodded, but the Doctor glared at her as he spoke. "Of course she will be fine. Martha is always fine. I never have to worry about her."

It was praise that she had never received from him before. The effect was both instantaneous and surprising. "Yeah," Martha smiled honestly despite herself.

The Doctor nodded and threw the handbrake with all the finality of the executioner. He smiled then, moved away from Rose and came to stand by Martha. Donna beat him to the punch, she drew Martha's unwieldy frame into a fierce hug. "When you get sick of Earth, you call me, ok?" she cinnabded,

She felt the tears come then, Martha had not expected it to be so hard to leae this time. She knew she had to go, felt it deep down in her gut. "Yeah,' she nodded.

"The first twinge, Martha. If you even so much as feel a contraction, you call." Donna insisted. "I hate that you're leaving." she whispered into her ear. "But I know why, even if big, tall, skinny, clueless, Doofus over there has no clue."

Martha smiled at her friend and wiped away another tear. She felt the ship land, and turned toward the Doctor, who stood tall and erect next to her bags. "Last stop. End of the line."

"No place like it," she recited.

He nodded and opened the door, still watching her. Jack's face popped into the TARDIS before Martha could even move a step. "Well, Nightingale. Welcome back."


	23. Collect It At the Borderline

**One of the biggest mistakes a writer can make is apologizing for his or her work. Having said that, i really feel like this story has gotten away from me. i wanted to tell a shorter story, but the characters really wanted to have their say. I am trying to pair this one down, had even plotted to have this chapter go further in the tale...sigh. I hate it when the characters decide to have a mind of their own.**

**Anyway, i would completely understand if you bailed, it does seem i am dragging this one out, but i cannot get them to where i want them to be without them shutting up long enough for me to do it.**

**Thanks for all of the reviews on this one, i am completely overwhelmed by the kindnesses.**

He smiled big, the action seemed to nearly crack his face in half. "My God, Martha, you're Huge!" he grinned and brought himself further into the ship.

Donna seemed to ogle him from across the room, but a blur of blonde hair and pink sweater attacked him from the side. "Oof, What the he—Rose?" Jack asked with a more than confused glare at the young woman.

"You are so a sight for sore eyes!" she squealed.

Jack looked from Martha to the Doctor, then back again. His eyes held a million questions. "Rose, it's been a long time."

Donna made her way around the console and presented herself in front of the new occupant. "Well, you must be the infamous Jack Harkness." Martha smiled at her friend, she had never seen Donna flirt so openly.

Jack released Rose and offered a big smile to the red head. "And who might you be?"

"Stop it, Jack." The Doctor warned.

Jack smiled charmingly, but managed to disentangled himself from the blond woman.

Martha smiled to herself with a shake of her head as Donna mooned over the hunky, immortal man. She had never seen her friend so coquettish. "He's taken, Donna." she whispered as the two men took the bags out into Torchwood's main hall.

"Yeah," she nodded. "In a way, I feel as if I am too."

Martha sighed softly, it was always behind Donna's eyes, that sadness of waiting for someone. She understood that, a little too well. Martha had not given much thought to her life after she was done incubating. Would she go back to Torchwood? Or, practice medicine and settle down like a good little girl?

The Doctor, Rose, and Jack stood talking to each other. Rose seemed to gush over the amazing artifacts and treasures all around. She pointed to something, and giggled. Martha was sure they had a lot to talk over, things they could compare. Rose had mentioned that she worked for Torchwood on the other side, and Martha figured they were in the midst of a Professional Development conference.

Donna placed her hand on Martha's arm. "You sure about all of this, Martha?" she asked.

Martha nodded.

"What brought all of this on, anyway? You seemed perfectly fine when we left for-What did she do?"

Martha shook her head as the two eyed the small group ahead of them. "Leave it, Donna."

"Oh, I'll leave it. I will leave 'it' on Pyrfine IV in the same place I left my favorite shoes, shredded and melted beyond recognition."

"Donna," Martha begged, turning to look at her friend. "Seriously. There was just too many of us on the TARDIS anyway, and all of that really was too much for what I have to deal with right now."

Donna nodded. "OK, I can get that. But, Martha. You are leaving me here with them. What the hell am I supposed to do while they pull moon faces at each other?" she smiled.

"Guess you will have to smile and wave." Martha shook her head.

"Or, close my eyes and think of England." Donna sighed. "Fine, but I mean it Martha. I want you to call if anything happens."

Martha nodded as the Doctor made his way back over to her. Donna followed her cue, and moved to moon over Jack for a bit longer, and keep Rose busy.

"This is what you want, then."

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" she asked rhetorically.

"Not everyone." The Doctor looked over to rose, who was busy giggling at Jack's funniest weevil story.

Martha turned to meet his eyes. "What do you mean?" she asked innocently.

"Martha, I am over 900 years old, at least the years that I admit to. You don't think I would have figured out what happened? No, this is a good idea. I know it's not been easy for you. Being on board with Rose in her, mood, well." He cleared his throat and went on. " Can't be good for your condition. Or, her health I'd imagine." he grinned at her then, in that manic all knowing way that she had been so beguiled by so many times.

She placed her hand on his arm, felt that same odd comfort as she made contact with him. "Thank you."

He returned the gesture of her hand on his arm, with his hand on her face. "Martha," he spoke. "It's been wonderful having you on the TARDIS again."

She nodded, but did not answer him. Jack's story had eneded, and Rose was making her way back over to the pair. The Doctor turned and gave the blond a look that made her back up again. Martha was flabberghasted. She had no idea he could weild that sort of power over the young woman. She had always assumed it was the other way around. "There is so much we still need to discuss." he cleared his throat again.

"Plenty of time for that. Another four months before everything goes pear shaped." she smiled.

He shook his head. "Nothing will be pear shaped, it's going to be wonderful."

"You say that now, wait until you have to change a diaper."

"Hmm, never thought about that part. I suppose I should get someone for that." he looked at her pointedly.

"Good luck with that," but she could not let it go. They were there, in relative privacy, she had to voice what she had been worried about. "Are you sure Rose is ready for motherhood?"

He turned his head askance, as if trying to understand a language he had never heard before. "Rose? Why would Rose be...oh I get it." he smiled big then. "It makes sense, I mean in your mind it would of course, being human and all. I should have known what this was about, had seen it enoguh times in my travels. Plenty of wars are fought over the same thing. Rights, lands, water, fuel. It's all the same. This is a territorial issue. Had I known it was about that, I could have negotiated. Mediated even, I'm good at that. Mediating. Well, nothing to really mediate, I mean territory means ownership and if you wanted to get down to brass tacks then-"

"This has nothing to do with territory Doctor. I have no claim on anything. I am here as a living incubator, nothing else.

"Oh, I see." he nodded knowingly. "Well, still, if you want to stay, you can, Martha. There is nothing for anyone to get bent out of shape about."

Martha shook her head and stepped out of his touch. "This is the right choice, Doctor. But, I do need you to do me a huge favor."

"Anything for you, Martha Jones. Absolutely anything."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time they had said their good byes, Martha was oddly ready for them to leave. She had always hated the idea of good byes, that possibility of never seeing that person again, that there was some large cosmic thing that must be said in case it truly was the last time either of them spoke.

She stood in the Pass, next to Jack and Gwen, watching the ancient ship spin out of existence, and did not realize she was holding her breath until she began to feel a bit dizzy.

"You all right?" Jack asked from her side.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, its just like, I dunno, watching your Mum leave. It's hard for some reason."

Jack gave a nod of understanding and put his arm around the small woman. "Yeah."

Gwen smiled and put her other arm around Martha. "Well, we are in for a bit of fun here, yeah? Old Jack here gets to play nursemaid, and I get to watch."

Jack laughed, " Martha, whatever you need, night or day. You know I don;t sleep."

"How's Tish?" she asked suddenly.

"Let's call her and find out. It's only been a few hours since you left, I think she may already be feeling better."

It turned out. Tish was feeling a lot better. She was bubbly and personable on the phone. Martha chose not to tell her sister anything until Tish came to see her at 'work.' there were things Martha was not ready to deal with, admitting her overnight pregnancy to her family was only one of them.

Martha's room was truly perfect. But she could still see it as another pretty prison, albeit a smaller one. As she walked around the spacious room, she began to regret her decision to leave the TARDIS; the beautiful gardens and endless explorations of the ancient ship made it easier for her to forget she was unable to go anywhere else. Not to mention the library there, full of books she would never see again, and had so wanted to get through.

It struck her that she missed it, she missed being on the TARDIS, and there was another niggling in her mind, another empty space she began to feel in earnest.

"It's right under the rift. This room. It was a conference room up until an hour ago.

"Thanks, Jack." Martha meant it. The work that had to have been done to turn this room into her own little haven must have been monumental.

"It was Ianto, mostly, Gwen made sure it was, as she put it, 'girlie' enough. And, I signed the checks. "

Martha sat on the bed and sighed. "Four more months."

"It'll fly by. We'll keep you busy." Jack took a seat next to her on the bed. "there is lots of paperwork to get done around here."

"What happened to no more than wiggling a finger?"

"Doesn't take more than that to write a few reports, and besides, two days here, and you will be begging for more to do."

"You are probably right." Martha nodded.

"Listen, Martha, I am really sorry about Rose."

"Don't apologize for her, she is a grown woman, made her own decisions."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, but she has always had this...thing...for the Doctor. It's not her fault, I mean I am sure you can see how enticing someone like that could be."

"Yeah, so can you." Martha shook her head. "No there is nothing there, Jack, it was time for me to leave the TARDIS anyway, I need to be home, see how Tish is getting on."

"How do you think she is going to take all of this?"

"You would know better than me. But, I don't think its an issue. She asked me to do it."

Jack's face was a mask of surprise. "Really? She never told me that."

"She did, and it was her wish to see the baby live, Jack. Quite the opposite of what you have been spouting."

He had the grace to look repentant, at least on the surface. Martha truly doubted he was though. She knew well what love could do to a person, make a person feel. "I did a lot of things I am not proud of, Martha."

"Maybe you should look to that. Meanwhile, I am here, gestating." She affectionately rubbed the large protrusion that she had become more and more used to.

"It looks good on you, Nightingale." he scooted back a bit, made a larger divide between the two of them, and Martha braced herself for his next onslaught. "So, what happens after, you know..."

"After what, Jack." Martha knew what he was asking, but if he was going to be man enough to ask about, he could at the very least, be man enough to say the actual words. Just like a big boy.

"You know what I mean, Martha. You aren't planning on raising him, are you?" It wasn't even a question. Jack made the assumption, and to Martha's ears, it came out rather like an accusation.

She shook her head and sighed. "It's nothing to do with me, Jack."

"But it does, Martha. I would say it has everything to do with you. But, I think I have poked my stick in enough in things that have little to do with me. You need your rest, and I need to see a man about a dog."

"I really hope that is a figure of speech." Martha smiled with a shake of her head.

Jack only smiled and made his exit. Martha watched him go, grateful for finally having silence. So much had happened within the last three hours, she had no time to process the actions. She had been on the TARDIS for 6 earth months. She kept time by her own watch. It was easy to be there, to be in that comfort and warmth, at least until things became too much.

She lie back upon the crisp sheets of the too soft bed. Martha wanted to sleep, but her mind would not let her rest. She could not turn it off; the missing of something, the feeling that she was not where she needed to be. It was two hours of abject silence before she finally surrendered to sleep out of sheer exhaustion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She woke to confusion. Her room was not they way she left it. Ad she rubbed sleepy tendrils of fog out of her eyes, Martha realized she was not at home, nor was she on the TARDIS. She was, as she discovered, in a makeshift room, borrowed out of necessity.

Her first task was to run a hand over the firm swell of her middle. She smiled as the being inside seemed to roll over to greet her as well. "Good morning." she said to him. "Nice to see you seem to be doing fine in there."

The baby returned her words with a rumbling of movement. Martha imagined, if briefly, that he had responded to her voice. She imagined there was no more a connection to her than she felt for him.

It was in that quiet still moment that Martha allowed herself to wonder what his future would be. Would he be loved, or merely tolerated? Would he even have a chance to have any sort of life, or would he be merely a voyager along the way The questions surrounding his little life took on a sort of odd resonance outside of the walls of the time machine. Martha wondered if he even stood a chance with Rose around.

And that was when it hit her, a small child being raised by a man with no home, and a woman with no scruples. What would come of him? Would they be setting him up to be like his biological father? Would he become something like the man that helped create him, or worse?

Martha could not help but wonder if she had a moral obligation to do something, but what? She was certain he would always be too different to live on Earth and it was with that understanding that Martha realized again her futility in his existence. She could not be a mother to him, but she could not see him raised in an environment that would harm him.

Jack was nowhere inside the Hub. As usual, some alien threat had befell the streets of London, and Jack was off to ensure that the city was safe from the threat of certain invasion. She sat at the computer that Tosh once occupied, checking her email. It was odd to see that the same few pieces that hse had not opened before she left, had not grown at all.

As she moved the mouse to close the browser, the phone next to the computer rang. It was not unusual to receive calls at the Hub, most of them were inquiries regarding some innocuous publication or redirects from the information center upstairs. The team received calls on their mobiles for anything work related. Without a thought, she picked up the cordless phone and answered with a cheery hello.

"Martha? Martha that's you, right?"

There was no doubt who it was. "Doctor?"

"You know, answering your cell phone, it's not difficult. All you have to do is place it in your hand, and use the other hand to push the little green button. Simple."

She smiled despite his condescending tone. "Is that your way of saying you have been trying to reach me?"

There was a few moments of silence before the voice on the other side came in clearer. "There, that's better. Yes, Martha I have been calling your cell for a bit now. I believe the proper colloquialism here is...blew up. Silly phrase that, I blow up plenty of things, rather good at it actually. I used to have a friend, Ace, she was brilliant at making things go BAM. Taught me quite a bit, actually. Not about the cell phone. She was from the 26th century, cell phones were pretty much obsolete by then. I blew up your phone Martha Jones, why didn't you answer?"

She imagined him speaking all at once, barely taking a breath in that manic way of is. Martha was not ready to deal with how hearing his voice affected her. "Doctor, I was sleeping, and besides, you only left a few hours ago. I don;t understand the urgency Is something wrong? Is Donna all right?"

"Oh she's fine, still full of piss and vinegar. I wanted to make sure you were settled in, no mishaps. You are settled in there, then , Martha?"

She could hear a hopeful tone in his voice, as if he had expected her to beg to be picked up. Martha herself was surprised at how the words nearly formed on her own tongue. Instead, she reassured him. "I'm fine, Doctor, really. What have you been getting up to? Anything interesting?"

"Oh, we met Agatha Christie. Martha, she is brilliant, just absolutely brilliant. Did I ever tell you one of her books nearly got me?"

"you don;t say?" she asked, settling into the coush. She had a feeling this conversation was going to go on for a bit.

It did.

Three hours later, Martha had heard all about the three of them meeting Christie, and about giant wasps and half alien children. Martha wondered if it was that what made him call her. Had the Vespaform revenerend reminded him of his own impending half breed.

Rose had been her usual self, and while the Doctor never said it verbally, Martha knew that Rose's interferences were causing more trouble than what she was worth. He mentioned how angry she got when Donna kissed him for a shock. Even Martha could see how Donna and the Doctor were together, best mates, nothing more. Donna would have killed him a long time ago had he even toyed with the idea of anything more.

Donna was able to help solve the case, and the Doctor made Martha laugh with all the "Copyright Donna Noble," references. She wished she could have gone, but in her heart, she knew it was not right. There was something not right about her being on that ship with Rose, even though she missed it more than she would ever tell the voice on the other end of the phone.

She finally begged off, in the name of hunger. The Doctor promised to call again later, and Martha had no doubt he meant it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack, Gwen and Ianto returned to base a little more banged up than when they left. Martha played dutiful doctor, though the three of them were none too happy about having her on her feet. "It's my job, Jack." she insisted as he hovered over her ministrations to Gwen's arm. Angry plasma burns covered a large section of the woman's forearm, and Martha used technology that was far beyond what was available in most hospitals.

"Still," he insisted with a shake of his head. "Best not to keep certain people angry when things don't go the way they advised. Can be hazardous to your health."

Martha smiled at her friend, but it was Gwen who fired back. "Maybe a few more deaths will keep you from running us into weevil turf wars." she twisted in pain as Martha applied a dermal regenerative.

"Did I mention she was feisty when in pain." Jack smiled.

Gwen stuck her tongue out at him but winced at the scar left from her injuries. "It'll go away." Martha reassured her. "Eventually."

"Nothing like him then," Gwen cocked her head at Jack and turned back to Martha. "So, are you gonna treat yourself, then?"

Martha nodded. "For the most part, I have someone coming once a week to check in."

"More like dropping in to check up." Jack muttered.

Martha and Gwen looked at Jack as if he had grown a new head, and given the fact that Jack was immortal, it was entirely possible. "Well, its true, isn;t it?" Jack asked Martha pointedly. "How many times has he called in the last twenty four hours?"

Martha decided that now would be a bad time to mention how the Doctor 'blew up' her mobile. Instead, she shrugged and ignored the accusation. "Well, only a few more months to go, then I doubt if I will here anything from him." She also decided to not mention how sad the prospect of that thought made her.

The time really did fly by, it was not long before the Doctor made a house call. He had been talking to her every day, sometimes twice a day. Martha knew he was calling when Rose was not around, more than likely when she was asleep. Martha rather began to feel like the other woman. She smiled at the analagy, and wondered what it meant.

Every time he called, they talked for hours. Sometimes Jack would see her stretched out on the couch with her feet up, headset tucked around her head; he would shake his head and smile. But, mostly Martha understood. They were becoming friends again, something they had not been since they traveled together over a year ago. They shared things, Martha was able to tell him about that year, and he listened. The Doctor never tried to make things better, but his acknowledgment of what she had gone through went a ways toward her healing.

Tish came to visit that Saturday. She arrived in Cardiff expecting to take her sister to lunch and talk about their week. It had only been that long for Tish, but Martha had so much more to talk about.

Tish came down through the elevator off the Pass. Jack accompanied her and insisted that she have the full treatment. As the plank descended to the lower level, Martha felt her stomach burst into a million tiny wings. She had turned her body so her sister could not see her stat. This was the test, if Tish would be ok with it, then, somehow, they would make their mother sunderstand. Or die trying, together.

"You can't even come and give me a proper hello?" Tish asked as she approached Martha's chair.

Martha rose from her seat and pivoted on one foot. Tish's face was awash with emotion after emotion. "You did it, didn't you?"

Martha nodded, hand placed precariously upon her now visible belly. "yeah," she nodded affirmation. Tish scooped her into a hug, one that spoke all of the words that neither sister needed to say. She held on for dear life as Tish attempted to hug the literal stuffing out of her. No one spoke in the Hub. Jack seemed unable to look away from the two as sisters reconnected on a level none of the others would ever understand.

"I don;t know how I will ever thank you for this." Tish sniffed as they still clung to each other.

"You would do the same for me." Martha answered thickly.

"I don;t think I would have been strong enough to."

"'Course you would." Martha assured her as they moved away from each other, still holding hands. "I said it before Tish, and I mean it, you are the strong one. What you went through...well I would have gone absolutely mad, barmy even. But, look at you. I have not seen you this happy, smiling in so long."

Tish shook her head insistently. "It's because of you. I'm free, Martha. I'm free because of you."

XXXX

It was the house specialty of Torchwood 3. Pizza boxes littered the table alongside empty beer bottles and, to the casual onlooker, a curiously out of place half spent bottle of apple cider. The participants in the makeshift celebration were in varying states of inebriation; ranging from Gwen's all out, not going home to Rhys tonight piss drunk, to still sober, but wishing she could knock back the earlier bottle of forty year old single malt. Martha was content, happy in her world of friends, and newly healed family. Tish seemed brighter, funnier, cheekier even as she sat in the arms of Jack Harkness, who, no slouch himself, was barely able to keep from sliding to the floor. Even Ianto had given up on trying to serve tea and coffee in an attempt to sober everyone up, and had, instead, opted for the couch, an arm slung over his face as the occupants sung a round of 'Cwm Rhondda'.

She loved this, as much as she still missed the TARDIS, it was this she had missed during, what she had now termed, her confinement. In an odd way though, Martha could not help but wish that Donna and the Doctor were here with her. She wished for all of the friends she had now, bound around her in this most awkward time in her life, brought together.

She rose and began to clean up the remnants of the mess, conering with blankets those who had finally succumbed to their over indulgence in the festivities. It was the sound of her phone that seemed to cut through the silence like a dagger. Ianto, half passed out, tried to reach fro his phone in his pocket and rolled off the couch for his troubles. This seemed to not phase him, as he curled up into a tighter ball, recited another line of the drinking song, before passing out again.

Martha shook her head and answered. She knew who it was, who it always was that called her now.

"It's 3 in the morning here." she accused.

"Yeah, " he sounded distracted, his voice seemed unearthly and distant.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Course I'm all right. I'm always all right." he sniffed and Martha could tell it was not his usual sniff of disdain, nor conceited haughtiness. This was different.

"What's wrong, what's happened?"

His silence on the other end spoke volumes about what had happened. The Doctor had always been a being of words, at least as long as Martha had known him. He was never without something to say, quite a bit of something to say. Always something clever or offish. This was different. This was wrong.

"Can I..." he seemed unable to speak.

Martha nodded as if he could see her. "Yeah, but aim for my room yeah? I don;t want to disturb the drunk tank."

He had never landed so softly. He was there by the time she made it to her room. His hair was disheveled, his suit seemed to hang off his frame as if it was made for someone else. He seemed to be holding himself up against the door of the ship. "thanks." he nodded.

Martha shut the door to her room and came to stand by his side. All at once, he put his head on her shoulder as she placed her arms around him. He seemed to crumple at her touch.

It was an awful story. A planet of diamonds, a woman possessed by something, two lives lost forever in an extonic sun, and nothing he could do about it.

She held him as they sat on her bed. Martha could not understand how they got here, he had come as Donna and Rose sleeping, and she knew that he had told them that he was all right.

He wasn't.

In the early morning light that filtered through the window of her room, Martha could see the years begin to creep onto the face of a man who was ageless. She had never seen him like that before. She had always suspected of his inherent vulnerability, but to hold it in her arms left her breathless in it's beauty.

He didn't cry, but there were moments when Martha realized she was as close to the real him as anyone had ever been. He rose from the bed and sat up, and like a child awaking from a dream, the Doctor rubbed his eyes, and actually yawned.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asked him as he straightened his jacket and tried, in vain, to smooth the wrinkles out of his suit.

The Doctor shrugged and turned to look at her. "You know I don;t need much sleep, Martha." he smiled. "'Sides, this was good for me. Restful in a way I needed." He reached for her hand and she allowed him to take it.

"I don;t know why..." she fretted, gathering courage to admit what had been plaguing her in the week since they parted. "Iit's like, I don;t know, without you around I feel a bit..." she shrugged and could not help but feel like she was twelve years old again, asking a boy if he 'like' liked her. Perhaps she should have written a note and had him check 'yes.'

He stared at her then, another intense and meaningful glare that left Martha a bit unnerved. The Doctor leaned into her space, a distance closed, a chasm breached. His hands still held hers, and Martha felt herself move forward without realizing she had any conscious will of her own.

It was a gentle kiss, neither ardent nor desperate. Nor, Martha noted with a slight smirk, was it very good. But, it held a promise of something. The Doctor tasted of old books and some exotic spice she had no name for. His face moved from hers with a smile that reached his eyes, turning them the color of ancient amber.

"I have missed you too, Martha Jones."


	24. It's Too Late To Change Your  Mind

**Let me start this off by saying how absolutely amazed and out and out blown away i was by all the well wishing and response of the last chapter. I was nearly moved to tears, honestly. You are all so wonderful.**

**I have decided to make this into two stories, because there is so much going on here. This one will end shortly, followed by the next, which is entitle Speak Plainly, already ahve the first chapter written and this one is not even done...**

**Thank you all so very much, feel so inspired to write because of your nice words! Short chapter, but had to end here!**

It was shy and awkward, the two of them seated on her borrowed bed, the TARDIS conspicuously housed on the other side of the room. As dawn began its dance across the floors in beams of orange sunlight, the two once friends held a gaze between them charged with the possibilities of promise.

She moved away first, hesitant to allow herself to believe that they had shared a brief kiss. The Doctor pulled away slightly as she did, still smiling but Martha could see he was as unsure as she was. It felt like the aftermath of Homecoming Dance, and for a moment, her eyes darted around in search of her errant corsage.

"Well," he said finally, "Since I'm here, we should maybe take a look at what's under the hood?"

It took a few moments for Martha to get what he meant. She remembered her pregnancy nearly as an afterthought, but once reminded, it was at the forethought of her mind yet again. "Right," she agreed with a small nod. "Since you are here."

He held out his hand as he stood in front of the blue doors. Shyly, she came to him, took his hand and walked into the TARDIS.

* * *

><p>"Still the one beating?" she asked as he contemplated the picture of the now larger infant.<p>

He nodded, rubbing his chin as if in deep thought "I would have hoped it had started up again by now."

Martha noted the hint of worry in his words. "Is he all right, I mean otherwise?"

The Doctor turned to her then, placed his hand in hers and squeezed. "Lots of worry for someone so inconsequential."

Caught out, she sighed, "Yeah, he sorta grew on me. Must be some weird Time Lord thing." she smiled up at him.

"Oh, we did a lot of growing on, my lot. It was our way. All prickly on the outside. Hard to get to know, but once you got in there...Well that's all rubbish. Pretty much prickly all the way through. But, this one," he pointed to the screen and smiled. "This one, has decided he likes you, Martha Jones. I must say, he has good taste."

She felt a blush creep over her, a shy smile crept over her lips that matched the Doctor's. "I don't know what this all means, Doctor. Its a bit overwhelming."

"Name one parent who never found it overwhelming." he sat next to her on the small bed. "It will come to you, Martha."

"Still, it's different, isn't it? I never expected to feel this way about him."

The Doctor nodded. "Changes things a bit, yeah." He looked toward the screen again. "Maybe it's time we had that talk."

She didn't want to, not with everything so changed between them. However she had felt about the odd man when she was first whisked into his magical world was different. She had been a wide eyed girl, nothing more than a child. In many ways, there was so much akin to Rose in that Martha Jones. Naive, gob smacked at everything she saw. Martha had taken his hand then, and willingly flew into a world she would have otherwise never known.

"Maybe we should have that talk." she nodded, despite her misgivings. "But should we really discuss anything now?"

"Why not now? Three and a half months, that's it. We need to make decisions that will affect three lives."

"Earth is out of the question for him, isn't it?" she asked quietly.

"Not entirely. It's not hard to hide him from certain people there. He could live a relatively normal life there. But, hiding him on Earth isn't the problem."

"No, no I suppose it's not." She knew, without him saying it, with everything in the universe, Martha did not need him to explain to her that the only safe place for him was in the TARDIS. "Here is best, then."

The Doctor nodded, and seemed to study her face to try to read her feelings. "You'll miss him." he accused.

"How could I not? He is here, with me, every moment. He is here. It's nothing I ever expected to feel, for anyone. When I agreed to do this, I felt, so distant, so removed from all of it. One morning, I woke up, and he was the most important person in the universe."

He nodded, still considering her features in that stoic way. "Its not unreasonable to imagine, Martha. It's completely understandable."

"But, it was not part of the deal, as they say, was it?"

He sighed then, as if the weight of everything was finally hitting him squarely in the chest. "You could stay here, with him. It would be wonderful to have you."

But she shook her head vehemently, "No, no way, Doctor. Not with everything going on here. I am not going to be a third wheel. It's fine, really. I'll get oer it, visitation rights, something." she said, still shaking her head.

He moved closer to her, eyes fixed, unmoving. The sincerity poured out of every syllable of his words. "I want you here, Martha."

She was about to acquiesce, at least, she would tell herself that, but as she rose off the gurney enough to really speak, his mobile jingled in his pocket. Martha smirked when she realized the tune. "Rhianna? Really?"

He pulled a face and muttered something about leaving his phone unattended for too long. Holding up a finger, he answered his phone with a look he got at the mention of the word 'pear.' "I'm here," he said after a pause. "Really? No, yes. Yes Rose, she is." He looked at Martha as he spoke. "She is here as well." He sighed slightly, and Martha had that odd feeling of propriety that she had felt before.

"Really? Well, that _is_ an emergency. Wait, how many?" he paused as he listened to the other speaker, whom Martha could only assume was Rose. "Yes, well, I will be there shortly."

Martha rose form her seat and began to look for her pink sundress. She smiled as he finished his conversation halfway through her dressing. "Must be bad," she asked.

"Oh, yes. Apparently Rose was none too happy to discover we were parked, and even more confused when she found Jack and Donna eating breakfast in the console room. "

"Didn't bring enough for the whole class?" she smirked, slipping into her sandals.

"Oh, well yes, he did. But, Martha...they have sprinkles!" He cartoonishly made for the now available door, but Martha grabbed his arm. "That favor I asked for, that thing I needed you to do, did you manage to do it?"

He shook his head, "I'm working on it, Martha. Its not easy, weeding through all of the rosters and logs."

"But, you do have an idea of where to look? I mean, it can be done, right?"

His face broke into that easy grin,"You just watch me!"

* * *

><p>The pair emerged into the console room to the smell of what Martha had always associated with work mornings. It was rife with Dunkin' Donuts boxes and a large box of coffee. "Morning, beautiful." Jack grinned form over his large Styrofoam cup. "I brought donuts, but stay away from the coffee, they only had nuclear this morning, don't want you charging for two."<p>

Martha tried not to be angry at the lack of coffee. The smell of it permeated the room, enough for her to barely notice Rose's dour face at seeing the Doctor and her together. "You are a right bastard, Jack, do you know that?"

The Doctor tactfully lifted the box of aromatic sin and removed himself from the room. Jack tipped his cup to her and grinned bigger. "I'm drinking enough for both of us." he asserted.

Martha shook her head and reached for a cruller. "This better have coffee in the middle." she muttered.

Donna laughed hard enough to nearly upturn her own large cup. "Sorry, Martha, how are you feeling?"

"I'd feel a lot better if you handed over that cup." she insisted, only half joking.

Donna shook her head and placed her cup strategically out of harms way. "Sorry, love, don't want to get caught in The Oncoming Storm."

"So, everything all right, then?" Rose had finally made her way to the small group from her perch by the far wall.

Martha nodded sullenly, not wishing to get into anything with the young woman. "Yeah, its good."

Rose nodded, but did not let it go. "I mean, I assumed something was wrong, a check up after only a week? I mean, you _just_ left."

The room grew silent, the three friends noted the young woman with identical looks of pity and disbelief. "Well, Rose," Martha spoke in her best doctor knows best tone. "It's not uncommon to have weekly check ups toward the end of the pregnancy."

Rose shook her head wildly, and Martha began to wonder if she wasn't a bit unhinged. "No! You begged him to come, didn't you? You just couldn't let it go, we are happy without you here, Martha. We have been having a lot of fun."

"Fun?" Donna stood finally. "Fun? I wouldn't call what the Doctor just went through any fun, and for you to sit here and scream like that at a pregnant woman."

She backed away from Donna, hands in the air as if to defend herself. "What do you care?" Rose sniffed.

"Why don't you care, Rose?" Jack asked. "When I first met you, you seemed to care about people. Or, so I thought. I thought you were a compassionate, sweet girl. What happened to you?"

Rose shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "I'm still all those things, Jack, but I am now more realistic about the harshness of life. You weren't there at Canary Wharf. You didn't get your whole entire life ripped apart in the blink of an eye."

"I did." Martha spoke up finally. "I lost my cousin, my best friend."

Both Donna and Jack turned to study the reclining pregnant woman, Martha's face still held a look of placid coolness, but her heart was racing a mile a minute. "Don't worry, Rose. I won't be here long. I just came for the doughnuts, and the company. But, if you perceive me as a threat, then how are you going to keep the entire universe out? I mean, there are a lot of other women there. Billions."

"Trillions," Jack added with a lewd movement of his eyebrows.

"Not to mention other genders..." Donna added knowingly with a nod to the others.

"Ooo, the possibilities are endless." Jack beamed, and Martha could assume it was only at the thought of the amount of sex that equation meant. She was certain there was some algorithm the Doctor could spout off the top of his head that would answer it.

"Possibilities of what?" The Doctor asked, breezing in at the tail end of the conversation.

Neither Martha, nor Donna wanted to answer that question. It was, of course, Jack who straightened things out. "We were discussing the probabilities of the universe."

The Doctor grabbed for a doughnut with extra sprinkles and leaned against the console next to Rose. "Oh?"

"Sexual possibilities." Jack offered with a wink.

"Pfft, Jack. When is enough enough for you?" the Doctor took a large bite of his doughnut his head slid back in rapture of the taste. "Mmmm, sprinkles. I love sprinkles, you know the only thing better than sprinkles?" he asked rhetorically.

"Those little balls that are edible?" Rose answered with a giggle.

The Doctor comically rolled his eyes in ecstasy. "Yes, Yes. Those are the best."

The rest of the gathering broke into laughter. Jack rolled off of the jump seat as Donna pounded the side of hers with a fist as gales of laughter permeated the room.

"What?" the Doctor asked confused. "What'd I say? What's so funny about edible balls?"

Martha had to hold on to her stomach as the laughter hit her so hard she was quite sure some bodily functions would embarrass her at some point. Rose had crumpled into a heap on the floor in near tears. For his part, the Doctor merely shrugged, muttered something about human behavior and continued to munch on his doughnut in complete bliss.

* * *

><p>She found herself back in her room two hours later, the Doctor had hurried them off the TARDIS, and Martha was sure it had to do with Rose's mood. Once the joke was over, she was ok, for a time. But, when the Doctor made to sit next to Martha, even going so far as to place his hand on her belly, Rose's mood changed faster than anyone would have guessed.<p>

They had stood in her room, the Doctor having shooed Rose back into the TARDIS. He now stood outside of the blue door eying the pregnant woman carefully. "You all right?"

Martha had not realized she was holding her breath until she had let go of it as they exited the TARDIS. "Yeah, its just...Don't take this the worng way, Doctor-"

"In my experience, when people say that, it usually means that you should. " he nodded with a sniff.

"Yeah, well, still. Its good to be outta there. I never thought I would be so happy to leave there."

He nodded and Martha thought she saw a flash of something cross his face, but it was gone before she could name it. "Yeah, its all right then? I mean, do you need anything?"

"She half expected him to whip out a wallet and try to shove money in her hand, but Martha knew that was not what he meant. "Nah, I'm fine."

"You sound like me." he smiled.

She wasn't sure what to make of the awkward intamcy that had began to develop between thte two of them. On one hand, Martha welcomed his touch, when their skin came into close contact, she felt an instant sense of comfort; safety even in the face of her fears about where everything was heading. "We still need to have that talk." she asserted, surprising even herself.

He nodded sullenly. "We will, I promise. Just, Martha, have you noticed anything...odd?"

"No? What do you mean?"

But the Doctor sighed and seemed resolute in his procrastination of information. As always. "Well, I was wondering, I don;t know if being here was hard for you in any way."

Martha thought for a bit, she had wanted to give him a fast answer of assured health, but she knew the Doctor, a quick answer would be over anylized. "No, not really. I actually miss being on the ship."

"Just the TARDIS then?" he hemmed.

She shook her head, yeah, I guess. I mean. It's nice to talk to you on the phone so often, but its difficult for me to be on the TARDIS now-"

"Because of Rose." he accused.

"Yeah, she's..." But she did not want to rant, nor rave. It was obvious that the Doctor cared for Rose, but there was something between herself and the Doctor that was becoming undefinable.

He came closer to her, took her hand in his and squeezed. "I promised the ladies a trip to Shan Shen. When I get back, you and I are going to have that talk. It's been long enough. I don;t want to do this now, can't really. But, Martha. If you feel anything...different, you'll let me know, right?"

"Of course." she smiled, "Why wouldn't I?"

He scratched the back of his neck and offered her a pained and curious look. "It's just that, you might notice some things are different..."

"I don't understand, you mean about the baby, right?"

"...mostly..."

"Oh, wait is this about the vestigial tail? I swear to God Doctor, if I grow a tail from this, I will personally rip your-"

"Martha," he stopped her with a finger pressed to her lips. "This has nothing to do with that. Well, it does, and it doesn't. Please, just trust me, ok?" he asked.

She nodded, afraid to break the sensation of his touch on her face. When he moved his finger after a time, she spoke. "All right, I will let you know. But, in the interest of full disclosure, a promise you made to me before all of this started, I really would like to know what this is about."

"And you will, when I get back. I don;t want to say anything now, I should have not said anything at all. But, things have changed, and I need to know what it means. For us."

He kissed her cheek then, smiled and slipped back into the TARDIS. Martha watched him go with no small trepidation. She wanted to reach out for him , to bring him back.

What the hell?

* * *

><p>The next week passed in mounds of paperwork and playing doctor. Martha realized that she could only work on her feet for so long before exhaustion hit. She had taken to working sitting down as she stitched up the rest of her co workers.<p>

They were wonderful to her, they never made a big deal of her preganancy, and were ready to find odd cravings at any time of day, night, or weevil invasion. During the second week she spent there, Martha began to realize how much she both cared, and was cared for.

Tish dropped by as often as she could, but with her new found freedom from a life not of her choosing, Martha could see that Tish had begun the process of re-emerging into her own life. She could see the cloud still behind her sister's eyes; but now, instead of dark clouds of torment, they were rather like the small cumulus clouds that warned of nothing more than a cool respite on a hot summer's day.

Tish never asked a lot of questions about Martha's choice, and for that Martha found herself more than grateful. There was so much she herself felt unanswered, there was little she could give by way of explanation, but somehow, with some odd knowing smile, Martha understood that Tish knew.

"When will we go tell Mum?" Tish had asked during one of her visits.

Martha shrugged as the two sat in a room watching a movie. "Do we _have_ to?"

"You sound like you did when we got caught stealing that skirt at the mall. I said then and I say it now. She is going to figure it out, Martha."

Martha nodded, but tucked her feet under herself and sulked, "She is going to blow a gasket."

Tish shook her head. "Don't be so sure. I mean, she is pretty mellow now that the divorce is finalized."

"Can't we just tell her I'm holding it for a friend?"

Her sister's raucous laughter both surprised her and left her breathless with her own fit. Martha held her stomach as they giggled. "Sure, Martha. We can tell her you were part of a freak accident on the TARDIS. Now, you are carrying a baby TARDIS."

"Course, that means I am bigger on the inside." Martha giggled. But, in the end, she agreed to talk to her mother soon, and explain why she could nto come to Sunday dinners for a while.

And, sandwiched between the endless paperwork, the endless waiting for the end , were the phone calls. He called seven times a say sometimes. Martha wondered when he found the time. But, then she realized he did not need to.

Their talks were initially just about trivial nouns; chats about persons places and things. But, as Thursday bled into Friday, they talked about things that were so cital to each of their existences. In broken words, he told her of worlds created and destroyed. Of systems vastly different than she could ever imagine, places he wanted her to see, and never could take her.

Martha found it oddly comforting to talk to him, strange in the way that she found herself waiting to hear from him, usually rewarded within moments in a call from him. She never questioned his ability to know when she needed to hear from him, she was just grateful for it.

Donna often sent her emails, long detailed ramblings of places they had seen, and things that Rose had done.

"She's dangerous in her stupidity." Donna wrote, "You should see how she treats people. It's insane it is. And, all the time, the Doctor talks us out of situations she gets us into."

But, that last day, that last tiem she heard from them for a while. It was ight before everything really did go pear shaped for all of them.

The Doctor had waited to go to Shan Shen. They had gone to a planet that was in the midst of a war Rose, in her usual way, had tried to help, at least that is what Martha gave her the benefit of the doubt for trying. But, what ended in a terse and fatal end to a long war left the three travelers in need of a vacation.

The last she had heard from them they were on their way to Shan Shen.

She never got another message or phone call before the Hub was destroyed.


	25. The High Road

**Thanks for all of the kind words you guys, it means so much to my muse, she loves it, and in turn, she muses me! Its my way of saying well, this is for you guys as much as it is for me. I enjoy writing this, and it really means a lot that you all are having as much fun reading it. Thanks so much!**

She awoke to screaming.

There was a lot of it, and Martha could not figure out where it was coming from. Shew had fallen asleep in the HUB, on the couch, phone crooked into her shoulder. She had fallen asleep talking to him again. At first, for a breif second, she thought the sound was coming from the phone.

It was coming from somewhere inside the HUB.

The air was thick with smoke, and hung with the acrid smell of frying electronics and burning metal. She coughed, brought her hand to her moth and wanted to gag.

"Jack," she spoke as she raised her gangly form off the leather sofa.

But, there was no answer, only more inhuman screeching that she knew was not human, but not sure where it was coming from.

She turned around, eyes darting across the large room trying to figure out where she could go. Her room was out of the question, Martha had visions of being trapped in there during a collapse. No thank you.

She pulled her mobile and dialed the first person she could think to call, but there was no answer, in fact, the number she had reached was temporarily and temporally out of order.

She tucked the phone back into the pocket of her dress and made her way to the back of the Hub to the kitchen.

"No way, sweetness," Jack's voice came out of nowhere, his hands circling her middle as he led her back out to the center of the room. "We need to get you out of here."

"Jack, what the hell is going on?"

But Jack remained silent and placed her back on the couch as he paced in front of her. She finally could take in his appearance. Jack's long coat was burned and torn in large patches. His pants appeared to have wielded the same fate. "It's not good, Martha." he sighed. "Daleks."

A shudder ran down her body before she even realized it, she was shaking. "I bloody hate those things." she asserted.

"Well, I never 'liked' them on Facebook either, but we have got to get you soemwhere safe until this all blows over."

"Or, up." she nodded.

"Did you call the Doctor?"

"Unreachable."

"Try the others?"

She shook her head, but tried furst Donna, and then Rose."Nope."

"Not good." he ran his hands through his already rumpled hair. "Not good at all. I need to get you out of here before they come."

"I can take care of myself, I've dealt with them before Jack, just give me a gun and a room, I 'll be all right."

"You are my responsibility, you're pregnant Martha. If they get a hold of you, and discover what you are pregnant with..." he trailed off and gave her a knowing look.

Martha nodded, girl power aside, se realized she was in a very precarious position. "I can't leave the Hub, I don't know how that will affect him."

Jack shook his head, "you can't stay here Martha. The whole world is being invaded right now. Ianto and Gwen are going to stay here, but I have got to get you to somewhere else, the Daleks seem to know about this place already. "

She really could only think of one place. "Can you get me outside London?"

As if on cue, a harried, but still well dressed Ianto appeared with a small carry on bag in tow. "He figured that was where you would want to go."

"They always want to go home to mother. No matter what the situation." Jack sighed.

"It's not as if I want to go, but I don't see a whole lot of options right now, and my ride seems to be unavailable." She didn't tell them how worried she was about him, about all three of them, but she knew her face was speaking a different tale.

"We'll get you home, Martha. " Jack promised.

She nodded and looked around the Hub. Smoke emmitted from the sides of the wall, an odd creaking noise was beginning to take on a worrisome crescendo. "They found us here already?" she asked.

Jack shook his head. "The building above us has been taken down, threw out a lot of our equipment. It's just a matter of time before it all goes to hell, though."

"The Daleks intercepted a message from the former prime minister, not that one, the other one." Ianto amended. "They figured out that she was talking to us, the two of you need to leave. Now." Ianto swept his arm toward the back entrance of the Hub. Jack nodded and took the bag from Ianto. "Be careful you two." He nodded toward Gwen who seamlessly appeared next to Ianto. "We've lost enough of our team this year."

Gwen huffed. "Jack, it's not like we are in that much danger. We have the quilting bee coming out later. There'll be tea and scones."

"Bloody Welsh." Jack grinned.

"Well what the hell do you think we'll be doing here? Our nails? You get her off to her Mum's, in one piece, mind." You have plenty of lives Jack, she's only got the one."

The doors shut behind them as Martha and Jack ran through the tunnels and out into the light of a changed Wales.

Buildings around them had toppled, and the sky was dark. She was sure she had woken in the midday from her nap. It was when she looked up that the very breath seemed to be whacked out from under her. "What the shit?" she asked no one.

"Yeah, that is definitely something you don't see every day." Jack spoke flippantly, but Martha could sense the dread in his voice.

"How do you know its Daleks?" she asked.

"Sub wave messaging system, its how they found the Hub, litsen I know this is not good for you and your situation, I don't know where else to take youl. The Hub is gone, at last its compromised. If they find you-"

But, Martha did not need him to finish the statement, she knew that if they found her she and the baby were as good as dead. These were the most deadly thing in the universe. Well, she thought with a grin, the second most deadly. "Which way to the truck?" she asked whipping her head about.

Jack shook his head and brought his right arm out. "Can't go through the roads, Martha."

"Where did you get that? How did you get it working again."

Jack took her arm and smiled, "Your friend decided it was safer to have an emergency back up in place in case of Cyberman, Daleks...Only works spatially though, and here on Earth. But, I'm working on it."

She nodded. The fact that the Doctor was looking out for her, even from this distance, made her feel protected, safe in nearly the same way she did when she was near him. Martha took Jack's arm as he pressed the right coordinates and they disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Jones home was situated on a small but immaculate plot of land, in a suburb with the right postal code. Jack took his jacket and placed it around her for warmth; winter was slowly making its way into the air.

Jack carried her bag as the two made their way to the front door. It opened before she could even knock.

"Martha!" Her mother flew at her as if they had not seen each other in years. "Get in here! Thank you for bringing her home Jack, the news had me crazy. God knows that job of yours can't be good for her health."

Jack smiled and wisely remained silent. Martha wondered if that was a tactic he had picked up during the year on the Valiant. They followed Francine through the living room and into the bright and airy kitchen. "It's madness out there, absolute total madness."

"Yes, Ma'am." Jack nodded as Francine seemed to take little notice of the pair, she put a kettle on for tea and began to line up a small lunch.

"Is that what happens? The world is ending and we make tea?" Martha sniffed.

"Do you have any better suggestions?" she asked. "Ugh, that coat is filthy, Martha. Give that back to Mr. Harkness. I am sure he has more need of it than you at this point."

Jack and Martha shared a nervous look between them. Martha sighed and decided that now was as goos a time as any to get this over with. With the whole of England, and perhaps the world, falling down around them, what was a little pregnancy? She quickly removed the long army coat and handed it back to the immortal man.

It was the only time that Martha had ever seen her mother struck dumb for want of words. She gawped open mouthed a few times before slamming her mouth shut and turning back to the now whistling kettle.

"I think I had better get going." Jack murmured to Martha.

She nodded and thanked him for getting her home safely. "Jack," she called after his disappearing form. "Be careful, yeah?"

Jack turned and saluted her before shutting the front door behind himself. Left alone with her still shocked mother, Martha began to wish for back-up. She sighed resolutely and made her way back to the kitchen.

Francine had managed to finish the tea, and laid out a sandwich for her daughter. "Guess you should keep your strength up now, Martha."

Martha sat at her usual seat in the kitchen, prepared for an onslaught. "Mum, it's complicated."

"I would imagine so, considering I just saw you two weeks ago, and you did not look like this." Francine stood, arms folded, in what the Jones children knew as the 'Ya fucked up good' stance.

She shook her head and sighed, in dealing with Francine Jones, once caught out, it was best to fess up quickly and get it over with as soon as possible. Francine was much like the police; she could have all of the evidence in the world, but she still wanted a confession. "It's such a long story, Mum, and I know you want to know what happened."

"You are damned right I want to know. The fact that you have developed this...situation...in such a short time, I am sure I can guess who has had a hand in this."

"A hand, yes." Martha muttered.

"More than a hand I would imagine. What were you thinking Martha? He's not even in the same species, let alone the vast difference in age and culture..."

"Really, Mum? This is because he's white?" Martha smirked, regretting the humor soon after it fell from her lips.

"Martha Marie Jones. Don't you ever accuse me of such a thing."

"No, no, right. Sorry Mum. Hormones." Martha tried to wave away her misspoken words. "It's a lot to take in, I know. But please, I don't think right now is the time to discuss this."

Francine nodded slowly. She turned to do the dishes and Martha felt as if her mother was just getting started. "It's just that, Martha. You didn't even tell me. Why wouldn't you tell me?" her mother spoke in a small sad voice, and for the first time, Martha felt ashamed of trying to do it all on her own, carry the burden alone.

She rose, in her state this was no small fete. She made her way across the floor to stand behind her mother. Martha placed her arms around the older woman and held on for dear life. "So much in my life is changing, Mum, I don't know why I left you out of a lot of it, but I do know I really need you now."

Francine placed her hands on her daughter's, but did not turn to face her. "I just don't understand why you could not tell me, did you think I would judge you?"

Martha shook her head as if her mother could see her. "I don't know what I was thinking, Mum, there is so much going on-"

"Obviously," Francine answered, but Martha could here a hint of a smile in her tone.

"But, I want to tell, you, its just. So much of it is not for me to tell."

"Don't do cryptic, Martha. Not right now, not when the entire world is falling apart and everything seems to be falling apart with it."

She nodded again. "ok, well the important thing is that, yes, Mum. I am pregnant, and yes the baby is not fully human, and yes, the Doctor had a hand in it."

"It's not his hand that did that, now is it?."

"Mum!"

Francine finally did turn around, placed her daughter into a firm hug, and squeezed. "You don't need to tell me anymore, I can pretty much guess the rest." She smiled and caressed her daughter's cheek. "Let's worry about making it through this mess, then we can have our screaming match afterward."

"Promise?" Martha smiled into her mother's shoulder.

"No worries, Martha. I am saving it up for you."

XXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't until she was tucked into her bed upstairs that Martha began to really worry. Outside, sirens and blaring metallic voices could be heard. She tucked her head under the covers and prayed that her perception filter still worked. She had found it amongst her things in the bag that Jack had packed for her. There was a note as well, Jack warning her to stay off the grid. As if she could not have figured that out herself.

In the still quiet, as the world fell apart around her, she worried. She worried about the Doctor, and Donna, and Rose. She worried if they were all right, why they could not be reached. She worried that they were hurt, or captured. The planets in the sky were not a good sign, and she knew it meant the reason the Doctor could not answer her calls.

Mostly, though, she found herself worried about the baby. Her baby. Somewhere, some how she had began to think of him as hers. He was no more hers than the Doctor's but there was this feeling that she couldn't just walk away, not anymore.

But, then it was gone. She looked out of her window to see the sun up, back in its place. Francine burst into her daughter's room smiling. "That mad alien of yours has done it again." she brightened.

"He's not my mad alien, or my anything." she denounced, but only half heartedly. Somehow, Martha could feel a truth behind her mother's accusation. "But, yeah, looks like the good guys won, again."

Francine hugged her daughter and went off to call her other children. Tish was in America again, and Leo was home with his family, determined to keep them safe. Martha wasn't sure where her father was holed up during the fray, but she was sure that Francine gave a shit and he was no where on the check up list. But, her mother did promise herbal tea.

Martha reached for her phone, just as the most beautiful sound in the universe erupted in her room.

"Mum," she shouted down the stairs. "Never mind the tea, my ride's here."

He popped his head out of the door. "Here, you're here? Jack brought you here?" he asked stepping out of the ship. "He brought you here? I told Jack to take you to Sarah Jane's, not here."

She rose out of bed and could not help the smile that crept across her face. "It's fine, Doctor. Everything is fine."

"Well, it is now, or at least it will be." He reached his hand out, and she took it. "I need your help."

The scene she stepped into surprised her more than the size of the ship on the inside the first time she entered it. Rose was seated on the floor, arms folded in sulky indolence, Donna seemed to be plotting a course at the console, next to the Doctor. But, the Doctor. Another Doctor. The same Doctor that was holding her hand. Rose offered a blithesome glare at the two who just entered, then shot another equally evil glare toward the pair at the helm.

"What the hell, Doctor." Martha asked, eyes darting between the two men in pinstriped suits. "You need my help with what? Telling you two apart?"

"Ah, yes well, a bit of redundancy."

"You're here for me." Donna spoke from her perch. "He seems to think my brain's gonna fry."

"It will," the other Doctor answered. "Not that you'd be able to notice."

"Oi, watch it Clone Boy, you ain't too tall and skinny to throw across my knee."

"Clone?" Martha asked the Doctor next to her.

He nodded, "Yeah, well, not quite a clone, more like, a near copy."

"He's only got one heart." Donna called over her shoulder, still busy taking the TARDIS into the vortex.

"What exactly is going on here?" Martha finally asked. In that moment, everyone spoke at once. The two Doctors seemed to try to out technobabble each other, Rose, continued to pout from her spot on the floor, while Donna spouted her own running commentary, peppered with enough geek speak to make Martha believe she really had taken the Doctor's mind into hers.

"He's you, and part of you." Martha surmised, pointing to the Doctor and Donna.

"Yes," the four people in the room answered all at once.

"So, that means that you," Martha pointed to the extra Doctor. "Are actually their," she pointed back to the Doctor and Donna. "son."

The room fell into a hush, the Doctors and Donna seemed embarrassed by the accusation.

From the floor, the voice of Rose came shrill and petulant. "That is what I have been saying for an hour."

"Not really." the Doctor insisted.

"Well, sorta," the extra Doctor answered.

"Oi, more than sorta." Donna answered, "We would not have been in any of this had Blondie decided to stay in her own universe."

"Donna," The Doctor warned.

"It's not my fault!" Rose insisted, her voice small and whiny.

"It's true." the extra Doctor answered, he folded his arms and leaned against the console.

"Oi, you." Donna warned. "Be respectful. Martha, these two egg heads seem to think that my brain is gonna go all wonky. Nothing wrong with my head, I feel great. I got thoughts going through here that I aint never had before."

"Really," Martha asked, feeling herself slipping into doctor mode. She stepped closer to her friend.

"Oh, yeah. For instance, did you know that black holes are really temperal fluctuations caused by his lot." Donna pointed to the Doctor.

"Really," Martha asked, leading Donna to the jump seat.

"Well," The Doctor added, kneeling beside Donna. "I wouldn;t say caused as much as created."

Martha took the pen light handed to her by the extra Doctor, and the stethoscope from the Doctor. She began a rudimentary examination of the red head.

"Donna," Martha asked. "Are you feeling any pain? Headache, nausea."

"Nope, I feel fine. Right as rain, the rain in Spain, mainly on the plain." Donna laughed, but her head began to tick in an odd way.

"It's started." the extra Doctor choled. "We need to get her to the infirmary."

"For what," the Doctor spat. "There is nothing to be done."

"There has to be," the other Doctor fumed. "She can;t die!"

"Calm down, both of you." Martha spoke calmly. "Doctor, if we get her sedated, will that give us some time?"

The Doctor nodded and the three lead the woman to the infirmary. Martha took the lead and helped Donna to lay on one of the beds, while the other Doctor began rifling through the cabinets in search of something.

"It's in the fridge there, next to the interferon." the Doctor spoke, not even looking in the direction of his clone.

"I knew that," he fired back.

"Cut it out you two." Donna spat. "My head is killing me."

"You might want to hurry with that sedative." Martha insisted. "Its not a competition."

"You tell 'em, Martha." Donna grinned painfully. "You think that's bad, wait til the pissing contest over you starts."

"Donna," they both warned.

"Wot? She should know, she has a right to know. You think I don;t have your memories and thoughts running through my head without knowing a thing or two, or trillion. Ow, can you hurry up with that shot, please? Or are you waiting for the Norflanz half star to implode?"

The other Doctor managed to inject Donna and she settled back against the pillow, "mmmm. Better, though, you might need something with a bit more of a kick to it."

"Well, I didn't want to start you off with anything to strong." the Doctor defended.

"Pfft," Donna answered, though she insisted it was not a strong enough dose, her words had taken on a noticeable slur. "Make 'em tell ya, Martha. Its why Rose is so mad, it's what happened. You got as much a right to know what's goin' on as she does."

Martha looked at the two identical men in the room, wearing identical guilty glares. She wanted to ask what it was all about, but now was not the time. She was too busy taking Donna's vitals and making her comfortable. "Sure, Donna." she smiled instead. "I'll get them to talk."

"You'd better, before its too late."

The Doctor finally managed to make a stronger concoction, one that sent Donna into what could be best described as a coma.

The three of them stood around her prone form, not sure of what to do next. "The induced coma will keep her from dreaming. Good call, Martha." The other Doctor noted, hands shoved familiarly into his pockets.

"If she is not dreaming then she won't remember anything that will burn her." The Doctor nodded.

"But, we can't keep her like this forever." Martha added. "We need a long term solution."

Both Doctors nodded, but it was the second one who spoke. "It definitely buys us some time. There must be an answer."

"What's happened to her? She touched a hand and poof?" Martha asked. "I mean is this what happens when humans get too close?"

They both turned brown eyes to her. "This isn;t going to happen to you, Martha. What Donna has gone through, its never happened before. This is Terra incognito for us too."

Martha folded her ars around herself and nodded. "Ok, ok so what are our options."

"If she wakes from it, or is awaken from it, she will die. Her brain has already started to deteriorate." The other Doctor sighed. "She's my mother, we have to do something."

"Save the human theatrics, yeah?" The Doctor tossed dismissively. "Let's use our minds and not our emotions."

"Doctor," Martha spoke to the man with two hearts. "He has a right to feel that way, it is his mother. You cannot be so flippant about it."

"Fine, but emotions aren't going to solve anything, she's my best friend, you know. I want to see her better."

"So, let's get scans and monitor her, see if anything is going on in there." Martha began to move around the room, setting up equipment.

"Oh, there is a lot going on in there now, probably more than has in quite some time." The Doctor grinned, but his face became more serious at a glare from his other self. "Right," he corrected himself. "Cures."

They sat examining the scans, and images. Donna's brain, according to both Doctor's was still very much human,but the memories, and amounts of information in her head, was that of a Time Lord. "She can;t keep all of that in there." The other Doctor insisted.

"Well, of course she can't, that's the problem, isn't it?" The Doctor answered his twin snidely.

"All right, children, let's focus." Martha drawled. "The problem is, she took in a Time Lord Essence, what does that entail, exactly?"

"She took in a lot of Time Lord energy, there is a reason that you cannot get close to a Time Lord when they are regenerating, all of that energy, it could and will, rip a human apart."

"But," Martha pointed out, "it didn;t Donna, because she had taken in the essence as well, was it like she had sorta opened that watch a little? Like Tim Lattimer?"

The Other Doctor seemed to brighten at this. "Martha, you are a star!" he grinned.

"An absolute genius!" the Doctor agreed.

"What?" she asked dumbfounded. "What does it mean?"

"It means, " the Other Doctor bounced. "That Donna is going to die!"


	26. Is Hard To Find

**You guys are so wonderful, honestly. Thanks for sticking with me, i think this is winding down...finally. **

Martha looked between the two identical men. Well, nearly identical. They were now both sporting looks of intense joy and self appreciation. "So, she is going to die, then?"

"Die? Of course she is going to die, we are all dying, Martha. Even me. Practically born doing it. Well, mostly." The Doctor bounced over to the other side of the room and began opening cabinets.

Martha looked at the Other Doctor as if he would be any help in explanation. He wasn't "Martha you are a genius! We should have thought of that one. Two big old brains between us and we are both thick!" He took off for the other side of the room.

"Uhm, excuse me?" She folded her arms over her large belly and smirked. "Anyone here want to explain things to me, or is this a private epiphany?"

But the two never even turned from what they were doing. While the Doctor bounced around the other side of the room, seemingly bent on dragging out large equipment from the small room where the baby had once lived in suspended animation, the other Doctor spoke from his over his shoulder. "She is going to die, Martha. There is nothing that can stop that. Donna's memories and thoughts are all tainted now by the Time Lord energy. Any one fleeting memory will kill her."

"So that's it then?" You are giving up? She is your mother for God's sake. How can you be so caviler about this? I thought you were on board with saving her?"

The Other Doctor nodded. "Right, I forget about the hormones. Martha, we are still saving her. Do you really think I would give up on her that easily? I made him come and get you, he wanted to erase her memories."

"It would have kept her alive." The Doctor defended from behind the large machine he was pushing closer to Donna's prone form.

"It would have been a slow death." The Other Doctor spat. "For both of us."

"All right you two." Martha rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "I realize that I don;t have a giant Time Lord Brain, but will someone please try to explain to me what is going on?"

The Doctor spoke as he applied electrodes to Donna's head. "She has a Time Lord Mind, its killing her, we are going to give her a bit of a jump."

"The energy from regeneration, the scans show she has the mind of a Time Lord inside of a human mind. All of that energy can be turned into regenerative energy under the right circumstances. We figure, she has enough in there for one good regeneration, if we can get the timing and calculations just right."

"Wait, so you are going to wait for her to die, then let her regenerate?" Martha asked flabberghasted.

Both men stopped what they were doing and stared at her. It was the Doctor h=who spoke up. "No, Martha. We can;t let her die on her own, it has to be a controlled death. The timing must be precise, no room for the energy to not be used in the exact way."

"She has to be monitored during this, it has to be precise. There is no way to do it if we just wait until she burns up."

Martha was truly horrified. She must have been a sight, standing in the middle of the haphazard alien infirmary; mouth agape, eyes wide in the horror of being in Frankenstein's Lab. "You are going to kill her yourselves?"

The Doctor turned to look her in the eyes. "Yes, Martha. We are."

"I will do it." The Other Doctor finally spoke. He had come to stand on the other side of Donna, Martha was struck at the double image their presence at the red head's bedside. They were identical from the outside. The Doctor wore a brown suit, while his copy wore one of blue. "I'll do it. She is my mother, I will be the one to do it."

The Doctor stared at the man across from him. "It's not your place. Besides, there is plenty of time to consider who is going to flip the switch, we have calculations and prep work to do, let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"I'm doing it." The Other Doctor insisted. "It is my place. Just like it was your place to end the war."

The Doctor nodded then. "Fine, but let's get started." They turned to Martha in unison: "You need to lie down for a while, Martha. All of this stress can't be good."

She smiled at their Doublemint Gum act. "You know, I think I will take a nap. I can barely handle one of you usually. Two might just send me into early labor."

"Oi!" They responded.

"Before you do anything, Martha. I need to check on you." The Doctor moved to the side of her. "With everything going on, the little mite sort of got forgotten for a moment."

"He's fine," she insisted with a shake of her head. "He's been moving around a bit more the last few minutes. I think he is picking up on things."

"Still," the Other Doctor agreed moving toward her. "It would be better to know for sure. You were away from Vortex energy for a while."

"Jack should have known better." The Doctor shook his head.

Martha sat on the other gurney as the Doctor examined her. "Well, at least the one heart beating is still strong and regular. Though, I was hoping he would have started it again."

"HE?" Martha looked at him quizzically. "You make it sound as if it is his decision."

"It is," the Other Doctor answered with a knowing glare at the Doctor. "He has been calling the shots all along."

"I don't understand." Martha looked from one to the other.

"Martha, it's what I have told you, in the beginning. He has to decide to stay. But, I thought he had decided. He didn't allow himself to be re absorbed into the vortex. His brain is growing beautifully. I don't understand why only one heart is beating." The Doctor sighed.

"He is keeping his options open." The Other Doctor interrupted the silence. "He hasn't made his decision yet, and you know why, Doctor."

"What's he mean?" Martha asked staring at the Doctor.

"Wen this is all over, when everything has settled down, and Donna is sorted, and Rose is...somewhere else. You and I w=are going to have a nice long chat, preferably somewhere without sharp implements."

The glare she fixed at him could have very well melted the polar ice caps. "Is this serious?"

he nodded, looked at his other, and sighed. "It needs to be done, and I promise Martha, no evasive metaphors, or long drawn out explanations with unintelligible cross references. I will spell it all out to you. But, right now, I have to focus on getting Donna better. Can you understand that?"

Martha nodded, though inside her heart was racing at a rate that scared her.

:Good," he nodded again, with another look to the Other Doctor. "Right then, nap time."

XXXX

She ended up sleeping on the other bed in the infirmary. Both Doctors had tried, and failed, to get her to sleep in her room, but Martha insisted that she wanted to be there when Donna woke up. Someowhere in the far reaches of slumber, Martha heard Rose enter the room and demand to be taken home. She fell back asleep from sheer exhaustion before hearing either Doctor respond to her.

It was quiet when she awoke, groggy and disoriented, Martha realized she was in the room alone, except for the still comatose Donna. She threw her legs over the side of the gurney and wobbled toward the floor. The TARDIS was nice enough to place a bathroom right next to the infirmary, for which she gave the old girl another honest thanks.

The console room was ground zero. The sound of three voices arguing could be heard as Martha made her way toward it. She didn't want to eavesdrop, but her name had come into the conversation.

"...it's not like I have anything here. I just want to go home." Rose sniffed loudly.

"And that is where we are going to take you," Martha heard one of the Doctor's retort. "As soon as everything with Donna is settled."

"Why do I have to wait? So I can watch the three of you fall all over yourselves over her?"

There was silence after that accusation. "Martha has nothing to do with this."

Rose spoke in a high shrill voice. "Martha has everything to so with this. I came here for you, and what did you do? You forgot me that quickly?"

"Rose, be reasonable. There were other mitigating factors..."

"Stop coddling her!" Martha finally realized that was the voice of the Other Doctor. Something in his nature was so Donna she smiled from the other side of the door to the console room.

"I am not coddling anyone." The Doctor insisted. "And you, stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you."

"How can it not? If it wasn't for her, Donna wouldn't have been hurt, not to mention the countless m=

numbers of people that the Daleks killed this time."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't be here either, asshole." Rose shouted. "And this isn't my fault anyway. I didn't make them come."

"No," the Other Doctor snided. "You just left the door open a prop, didn't you? Wanted to make sure that in case this happened again, you could get back. You are obsessed, Rose."

"Shut up!" she fired back."Just shut up!"

"That's enough, both of you. Honestly its like having two cats in a burlap bag." Martha could hear the exasperation in the Doctor's voice. "Rose, we will take you home, as soon as Donna is back on her feet. I promise."

"You are some piece of work, do you know that?" Rose asked rhetorically, and Martha could tell she was gearing up to have a real go at one of them, or both. "You just replaced me without a second thought-"

"Replaced you?" the voice had so much disgust in its rhetoric, Martha knew it was the Other Doctor. "Replaced you? I hardly think that Martha is a replacement for you."

"Well, at least you can see that." Rose answered.

"I mean, " the Other Doctor went on. "If the Doctor was to replace you, I would think he would have found someone less compassionate, less articulate and definitely a bit dimmer than Martha Jones."

"That's it, conversation over you two." The Doctor interceded, but the damage was done,and Martha knew that what the Other Doctor was saying may have been his Donna side, but a sentiment from his Doctor side. "Rose, just stop it. I was never trying to replace you. What is done, is done." there was a beat of silence before the Doctor spoke again. "Don't say another word, you."

She'd had enough. The woman in the hallway decided that whatever was afoot in the TARDIS could sod. The baby inside of her wanted chocolate. By the time she had made herself comfortable in the kitchen, the Doctor had found her seated at the table with a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and a mug of decaf.

"Breakfast of Champions." He sniffed, grabbing himself a larger bowl. "Sleep well?"

"Mmmm," she offered around her spoon of temporary heaven.

He nodded and took another spoonful for himself. "Not such a great time in the console room, eh?" he asked with a knowing glare.

Martha nodded. "Figured it was not my fight, though since my name came up enough times, thought I should at least sit in on the proceedings. And, despite our constant insistence, I tend to think that that conversation had quite a bit to do with me."

"Whatever it is, it will be fine." he insisted.

Martha took another spoonful of her cereal, chewed slowly but said nothing.

"You know I will tell you, Martha." he promised, his hand touched her from across the table. She felt again that odd feeling of assurance, that sense of safety and satiety.

"Yeah, I figured this was part of that big talk." Martha could not deny her own curiosity, yest she was certain that he would tell her. His touch, spoke words that his usual countenance denied her access to. She was as sure of it as she was of her pregnancy.

He nodded again, then dove back into his cereal. When he moved his hand back to his side, she felt bereft of his presence; an instant loss that she could not categorize. It was like in her room in the Hub, that same sense of loss and of missing, something. The odd look of confusion must have etched itself into her features because the Doctor stared at her from across the table with a sad but understanding look. He said nothing, switched hands with his spoon, and placed his long slender hand upon hers again.

"Is this something to do with the baby?" she asked in a near whisper.

He nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. Finally, the always talkative man merely smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Later?" he asked.

Martha nodded, and the two of them finished their cereal in silence, still holding hands.

XXXXX

"It's time." The Other Doctor insisted from the door of the cluttered kitchen.

Martha and the Doctor had just finished their midnight breakfast and were in the process of cleaning up their mess. The Doctor turned from his spot at the sink and nodded, drying his hands on the terry towel. "I figured it was."

"How dangerous is this?" Martha asked.

The Other Doctor bore his stare into the Doctor. "It's not exactly something I would want to do every day."

"It'll be fine," the Doctor insisted. "She'll come through this with flying colors, and we will both get a proper slap for our troubles."

"God, I hope so." the other Doctor sighed. Martha followed the two men to the infirmary, scared more thanshe had been in her life. "What happens if the reset doesn't work? What's the Plan B."

The two men stopped and turned to face her. "This is Plan B." The Doctor explained gravely. "This has to work Martha. Do you understand? Donna is in there, in a coma, when we inject the poison into her system, she will die. FI one small calculation is off, if one tiny fraction of a millisecond is wasted, she will not be able to use that energy in her brain as regenerative energy. " He turned to look at the Other Doctor, who advanced upon the two cautiously.

"She will have the tiniest of windows, Martha. I know you are used to life and death situations, and I know you can keep your head in a crisis, but just this once, for our sake, your sake, and that of the baby, we need you to be a spectator. Nothing more."

"I hate being treated as if I am some fragile thing." she sniffed petulantly.

"And, I hate treating you as such. I more than anyone-" The Doctor began.

"We," The Other Doctor corrected.

The Doctor smiled and nodded. "_We_ know what you are capable of, how special you are. You walked the Earth, alone, amongst death and destruction and your entire civilization laid to waste. I..._We_, respect you more than anyone we have ever met. Please, this one time, stay back."

She nodded, how could she not? The honesty in both of their eyes spoke volumes of truth and emotions. "Fine, but I am coming in."

"Wouldn't dream of stopping you." The Doctor grinned.

XXXXX

They seemed to work in tandem, speaking to each other in a language of silent understanding. The Doctor did his bit on one side fo the room, with the large machine that resembled a portable CAT scan; while the Other Doctor prepped Donna. She wached the two of them from her perch in a comfy chair with her feet up. The Doctor insisted that she start taking it easier; Martha could not deny that the events of the last few days had begun to take their toll on her energy.

"'Bout ready, then?" The Doctor asked the man next to Donna.

He nodded and placed his hands into his pockets. The Other Doctor withdrew a nasty looking syringe, and Martha had the sudden desire to cover her eyes. The Other Doctor sighed and injected the fluid into Donna's arm, just as the Doctor threw a rather formal looking switch on the machine he was using.

The room was suddenly flooded with the yellowish glow of regenerative energy that seemed to pour from every corner. Donna's body lurched, then went slack against the bed again.

"Again." the Other Doctor shouted from the side of the bed as he continued to monitor her vitals. The Doctor flipped the crank again, more energy seemed to pour from Donna, but not as much as before.

"Again," He shouted, and Martha was reminded of the times she used the crash cart on patients in the A and E. This time, however, Donna's body didn't lurch; in fact, she stayed quite still. For a moment, she thought the worst; that Donna had succumbed to the burning. But, then the energy seemed to flow into Donna, the energy flowed in and out of every pore of the red haired woman. Martha watched in awe as Donna seemed to sit up and spew tiny puffs of golden hued smoke.

"She's up!" The Other Doctor shouted.

The Doctor withdrew from the large machine and came to stand next to the bed with the Other Doctor.

"Ah," she coughed. "Taste's like Vegemite."

"She's testy." the Doctor noted with a grin.

"What the hell did the two of you lunkheads do to me? I feel like the last Vera Wang in the bridal shop on Discount Day. You two Space Apes had better be packin' something stronger than a glass of water, and I don't mean a twist of lime, either!"

"She's back!" Martha grinned, rushing toward her friend.

XXXXX

She was back, as full of piss and vinegar as ever. Donna was none to happy with having been 'killed' at some point in the operation. She cast a glare at the two Doctors and huffed something about hearing from her lawyer.

She looked younger, fresher somehow. Donna's eyes danced with fire and her hair was fuller and redder than it had been before. But, none of that matched the ire of what she found in the mirror on her trip to the bathroom.

"You had both better explain to me right now how long my eyes are going to be brown."

"They're not brown." The Other Doctor gleamed. "They're golden."

Martha had noticed the difference right off, but the two shook their heads at her as they checked Donna over to make sure she was all right. Martha had clamped her mouth shut and simply welcomed her friend back to the land of the living.

"Really, golden? And how am I going to explain that?" Donna barreled.

The two Doctors shrugged.

"And, while we are at it, I seem to have lost a bit of weight, care to explain that?"

"Looks good on you," The Other Doctor smiled, then added quickly. "Not that you didn't look great before..."

"And I'm _shorter_!" Donna wailed.

"Regeneration is a funny thing." The Doctor noted.

"Regeneration?" Donna screamed.

"The important thing here is that you are alive, and safe, and you have all of your memories." The Other Doctor soothed.

"Oh, I got memories all right. I got plenty of things running around in my head I do. I may not have a Time Lord Brain anymore, but I still remember a thing or two, or trillion." She fired at the Doctor.

"And there is plenty of time for that, after you have ahd a bit of a rest." The Other Doctor insisted. "Regeneration always left me hungry and tired."

"Not always." The Doctor noted with a grin.

"Be that as it may, Donna you are going on vacation."

"Oh no, I know your idea of vacation you prawn, I aint going no where where I have to run for my life. I was just on my death bed!"

"Oh," the Doctor grinned again, bigger. "I think you will like this location."

XXXXXXXXX

After a large tray of food and a proclamation that she needed an entirely new wardrobe, with hats, Donna Noble was feeling more like herself. Well, as much as she could with all of the changes she had gone through. Martha was happy to see the Donna she knew, well and bossy as usual. Donna bustled through the corridors of the TARDIS with her empty suitcase, proclaiming she would come back with it filled, plus another. "Where are we going?" She asked as the Doctor plotted a course.

"Oh, it's a surprise Donna." The Other Doctor grinned.

"I thought I was going to go home first." Rose offered from her seat. She had spent the last three hours moorish and pouting. "I really don;t want to be here anymore."

"Yeah, I get that. But see, I was dead for a while, and now, well, now I am back to my old self. So, here is a clue for you Blondie. No One Cares."

"Donna!" The Doctor whined.

"What? It's all her fault, innit?"

"Can we change the record, I think this song has been on repeat too long." Rose huffed.

"You're right, Rose." Martha interjected, already wishing the whole thing was over. :can we please change the subject?" she asked.

The Other Doctor nodded. "You need a name," Donna decided out of the blue.

The Other Doctor smiled. "I know, it's been on my mind a bit. Especially considering where I am going, everyone needs a name there."

The room fell silent, everyone except the Doctor seemed surprised by this declaration. "Going?" Donna asked sadly.

The Other Doctor nodded. "I can't stay here, Donna. And, I can't go to Earth either. You know, this universe is not big enough for both of us, besides..." he trailed off, looking at Martha and sighing. "It's for the best."

Donna nodded as if she understood, but it was Rose's turn to be exasperated. "Oh, give it a rest! All of this love sick forlorn business. I mean, really?"

"Rose!" The Doctor warned in a tone that surprised Martha. She had been used to him taking a softer hand with her, but this time, it was different. Angrier. "That's enough."

"No," she shook her head. "I want to have my say. I have sat here for the past three days holding my tongue out of some sense of loyalty to you, and for what? So both of you can fawn over her?"

"Over who?" Martha asked, though deep down, she knew. She had known since the day she left the TARDIS for Torchwood.

"Oh it was bad enough when I figured out what was going on with the one, but, BOTH of you? This is ridiculous!" She marched closer to Martha, a move that made the other three people in the room circle closer tot the pregnant woman. "You have done nothing but infringe upon wha tis rightfully mine."

"Rightfully yours?" The Doctor finally spoke. "Rose, I don't know what movie you have been watching, but the music has stopped, the lights are on and the curtain has come up. Leave the fantasy where it belongs!"

"I came here for you!" she shouted at the Doctor. "I built that cannon to find you! Do you have any idea of what it is like to lose someone you love?"

"More than you will ever imagine." The Doctor spoke through gritted teeth. "And if you had ever really known me, you would never ask me that question. Not even in jest."

Rose had the good sense to back up from the glare the Doctor gave her. "I don't know why you are treating me like this. " she whined.

"And I don't know why you continue to confuse yourself with delusion, Rose."

" just want to go home."

"Why is it you want to go home so badly?" The Other Doctor asked. "You worked so hard to get here, to get to the TARDIS. Something isn't right here."

But, Rose shrugged. "There is nothing for me here." she sniffed. "I want my Mum."

But both Donna and Martha recalled how she left her home, with barely a backwards glace toward her mother. " I had enough of that brain rattling around in my head to get an idea wen something aint right. This aint right. No, I think Part Two is right." Donna said, angling toward Rose. "What is it you are in such a hurry to get to?"

Rose backed up against the console, Martha could se the fear in her eyes, Donna was right, something was amiss here. "Its all right, guys, maybe we should all just take a step out of this."

"Rose, you do know that Pete was supposed to dismatntle everything you did there, right?" The Other Doctor asked. "You do know that trying to find a version of the Doctor in any other universes would be so dangerous, so dangerous Rose."

"Its not fair!" she screamed. "Why can't I have what I want? Martha doesn't even want him."

Martha frowned "What's she on about?"

But the Doctor waved her off. "Rose, there is nothing there. If you tried to start a project to tear open another hole, to another universe, you do realize what would happen. You would unmake reality Rose. You already did that once, at least you brought the Daleks here with all of the holes. How could you do such a thing? Knowing what your decisions brought about this time, are you so willing to do it again?"

"I love you." she shouted. "Maybe in another universe, you love me too. Not her." It was enough. Rose collapsed into a heap on the floor of the TARDIS, and for the first time, Martha honestly felt sorry for her.

She sighed, took her leave of the room and headed back toward the kitchen. Herbal tea. Soothes everything her mother always claimed. This time, she was hoping for a complete chill of the meltdown.

As she fiddled through the kitchen, Martha ran through her head what Rose meant. Things were aligning, there was some great truth that she was missing, that everyone seemed to know except her.

"Care for a Jaffa Cake with that?" It was the Other Doctor. He'd followed her when she left the scene in the other room. No wonder, what fun was it to watch a child have a tantrum?

Martha nodded and took the cake from him. "So, where are you going, then? To the other universe?"

He nodded. "It seems my only choice." he sighed.

"No, its not." Martha insisted. "You could stay here, with the Doctor. Travel."

"It's not my life, Martha. I realized that the moment I saw you." he leaned closer to her, Martha, moved away.

"I don't get any of this. " she uttered. "Its not like that, Doctor...er whatever you go by."

"I would go by any name you called me, Martha Jones."

But, he stopped then, a funny look twisting his features. "He's right, you really don't feel it, do you?"

"Feel what?"

The Other Doctor sighed, "Human heart, Time Lord directives. Martha, I am going to the other side to find you."

"ME?" she asked, hating how surprised she felt at his admission. "You can't find me there, I'm dead inside over there. The me over there, she has done awful things. I'm sorry if you feel some sort of obligation to me, Doctor, but the Martha Jones on that side is a terrible person."

"Who told you that?" Donna asked from the doorway. "Oh let me guess, the black widow strikes again. Martha, I am going to tell you what I shoulda told you before. I kinda figured she had said something, its what made you leave innit?"

Martha nodded shyly.?Yeah,"

"Ok, sit down kiddies, time for the truth, then after that, I am getting' my damn vacation!"


	27. You Let Loss Be Your Guide

**Getting closer to the end of this one, maybe another two chapters or so...Thanks for all the love and concrit, hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it...**

She placed her hands onto the table and mentally prepared herself for what was to come. Somewhere, in the far reached of her mind, Martha had known that Rose was lying, that there was no way even an alternate version of herself could be so cruel.

"I don't want you to be mad at me for not telling ya, Martha. You have to see that after we found out about this wonderful life I was having over there, well I felt really bad about finding out how different yours was."

Martha nodded again, sure that if she nodded one more time, she would permanently lose her mind. "I am not mad." she said evenly.

Donna's turn to nod with a look of regret. "Still," she shrugged. "What did she tell you, Martha? About the other you on the other side? I want to know what was said before I dispel all the crap you've been told."

She didin;t feel like talking; didn;t want to go over all of the lies that she had believed, but a careful look at the Other Doctor gave her stregnth. He needed to know, because Martha began to understand that he needed her. And, if that were true, then what did it mean for her, here? "There were a lot of things said, Donna. She told me about a woman that followed a man into madness. Dr. Martha Jones had a husband who was a monster, and he made her into a monster."

"Ok, stop right there, lie number one. Martha is not even a Doctor over there. In fact, Martha it was the main reason I didin;t wantt to say anything to you about it. All that stuff about how good the other me was doing, and here you were, struggling."

"Struggling?" Martha asked perplexed.

Donna nodded. "Yeah, and lie number two. There is no Hal=rold Saxon over there. I don;t even know why she would throw that in other than to get you riled up, onsidering what your family went through at his hands. I can only imagine how that made youfeel. Martha, I am so sorry I didn;t tell you=="

But Martha shook her head and closed her eyes. "You're telling me now." She uttered, both an allay of guilt, and a press for more.

"I am," Donna agreed. "Right, Martha there really is nothing too much. You aren't a Doctor, you don;t even have a degree. Single mum, living with your sister."

She nodded, there was something from her own memories that made this seem right. She had not told anyone, not even the Doctor. Something she probably should have mentioned during all of the medical tests, but still too painful to touch. When she was 18, stupid and in her gap year, she had met a man, in Greece. She had fallen pregnant. Nut, the baby was lost soon after she discovered the pregnancy. "Yeah, I could see that." she nodded.

"Really?" the other Doctor asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, Greece, a long time ago. It makes sense."

"I know why she did it, Matha, but to make up such a horrible story..." Donna wondered.

"Whe wanted me out, wanted to get me away from here, for whatever reason, she felt threatened by me."

"As well she should have." The Othe Doctor huffed, Donna nodded quietly.

"Oh I am so sick of all of the nudgy-nudgy winks round here." Martha blew, leaning back into her chair. "Whatever the reasons, she lied. And, I cannot be here any longer. I need to find out if its safe to go back to the HUB"

"Why would you want to do that?" The Doctor asked as he entered the room.

Three pairs of eyes seemed to look in different diretions. Donna and the Other Doctor manged to both look away and at each other, while Martha's rolled toward the ceiling. "This whole thing is ridiculous." she finally said.

Yes, it is. There si no reason for you to go back to the Hub," the Doctor asserted.

"I can think of one good reason." martha said.

The Doctor cocked his head patiently waiting for an answer, but it was the Other Doctor who clued him in. "I am so glac I got some human sensibility" he shook his head with a grin and gave the Doctor a look. "You need to tell her, before it comes out."

The Doctor did nto answer, returned a look of absolute anger to the other man. "Everyone, out."

The Other Doctor and Donna faced each other for a moment and with equal grins, they made their way toward the exit. Martha shifted to rise herself, only to feel the Doctor's hand, comforting on her shoulder. "No, Martha." he shook his head. "Its time for that talk."

"We'll keep Rose out of here." Donna said. "I'll sit on her if I have to."

"Do that," the Doctor nodded, eyes still firmly fixed down at Martha. "And if you hear screaming from the kitchen..."

"We'll pretend not to." The Other Doctor nodded. "You have coming to you whatever she does to you."

He sat down after the two left. Across fromher, hands in front of him, head bowed. "Martha, this is not going to be something you like to hear."

"You're scaring me," she admitted.

"Good, at least I am not the only one, then."he sighed, rubbed his hands over his face and spoke again. "I think that this is going to change things for us."

"Us? No offense, Doctor, but there really is no 'us.' "

"Yeah, you think that, but Martha," he brought his hand across the table and took hers in his. "What do you feel, right now?"

It was instant, she could not deny it The touch of his hands to hers, left her reeling. It was a feeling of absolute safety, feeling that she could not quantiful She had been feeling it before, but now, with the proof in front of her, it was much like a fire had been lit in her hands that went all through her body. "What is that?" she asked with a sort of awe.

"That, is what your sister felt, its how he did to her what he did. Its a strong thing for us, this connection. I don't know why he chose to do this to your sister, but now, now its yours."

"You did this to me?' she screeched, pulling her hands from his as if the fire would be quelled. It was, but the burns were still there, she felt it on her skin, and a longing in her heart. In that instant, in that moment, she hated him. "You're no better than him."

"Martha, please try to understand, this was a very odd situation. I did not mean to do this to you. When I injected the DNA into the placenta, I think that was when it started. I was trying to save his life, I had no idea..."

"You had to have known. That big brain of yours, always going over the possibilities and probabilities. You even hinted at it before. You told me this was the best way to make sure he lived. You did this to me for him, so you wouldn't be alone."

"I did not plan for it to happen, Martha. This was purely accidental. I had no idea that, given the set of circumstances, this would happen."

She felt the anger, it was a living breathing thing inside of her at that point. He had raped her, just as the Master had raped her sister. "What is it with you people and my family? Are we genetically predisposed to be molested by Time Lords? Or, are you just opportunists that enjoy something different once in a while?"

He looked as if she had slapped him, hard. "It's not as if we had our sites set on you lot." he bit angrily. "There is nothing so special about your family, trust me."

"What the hell am I supposed to think?" she fired, still looking at her hands. "I cannot deal with this, and I suredly do not want it. I tell you what, Doctor, let's find another willing incubator, someone as stupid as me. Seems your kind needed us humans for gestation. Donna's human, maybe she will do it."

"You know the answer to that, Martha. I have been honest with you since the beginning of all of this."

"No, I don't I don't know anything, because you keep secrets, you obfuscate. Your whole existence is built upon the idea that it is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. You lie, you lie by omission, and you lie by silence. You have given me the same burden to carry that you claimed to be saving my sister from. How is that honesty?"

"This is because of the baby, right? I mean, once I have the baby, it'll stop." she pleaded.

"It won't, Not as long as he is alive, it won't He sees us as his mother and father, now."

He shook his head, his eyes hooded and his demeanor vague. Martha pushed herself up from the table, "So that's it then, I live then next however many years of my life in this haze. There will never be anyone else for me."

"Not like it's a vacation for me either," he whispered.

"Right then," Martha moved toward the door. "I am going to get my things together, you know where to leave me."

"Martha..." he called.

But she walked on, head held high, but her mind was slaughtered. She had never thought this would happen, had never dreamed he would go this far all in the name of not being alone anymore. Now, she was forced with a choice, a horrible one. She felt what Tish had felt, what made her sister so sad. But, in that moment as she made her way to her room to gather her things again, she decided it would be her silent burden. Time was not the boss of her either, and Martha decided this would not alter the rest of her life. She could walk away anytime she wanted. Now was as good a time as any.

The console room was full when she entered it. Realizing that all she needed from her room on the TARDIS was her purse deflated her bravado and fed her anger. She wanted out, as soon as possible.

The Doctor stood by himself in the corner, Rose sulked on the jump seat nest to the Other Doctor. But, there was a new person on the ship. Donna was hugging a strange dark haired man as if he was the long lost love of her life.

He was.

"Martha!" Donna shouted from across the room. "Come and meet Lee!"

XXXXXX

The party atmosphere carried over through the night. Martha realized that Lee McAvoy was smart and sweet. She smiled over to the Doctor and mouthed her honest thanks. He responded with a sniff and stiff nod of his head.

"We are off on vacation, then." Donna announced with a smile.

"Wait," The other Doctor asked shyly. "I don't know if I will ever see you again, I have work to do elsewhere."

Donna nodded and enfolded him into a hug. "You wil be great, whatever you get up to." she smiled. "At least one side of your gene pool is awesome."

"Guess I should only claim yours then," The Other Doctor smiled.

"Have you got a name yet?" Donna asked, still holding onto him for dear life.

"Usually, people don;t pick their names. Usually, their parents name them." The other Doctor sniffed, he pulled away and smiled into Donna's eye.

Donna threw her head back and laughed. "Who am I to break with tradition?" She drew quiet, and everyone in the room waited with her, even Rose looked toward the Mother and son farewell.

"You saved my life, you know." Donna nodded.

"You gave me life, it's only fair. You didn;t have to touch that hand."

"Fat lot of good it would have done for me not to. I woulda died. We all would have."

The other Doctor shook his head. "No, Donna, this is all you. You, are Brilliant. You deserced to have your memories in tact. I could not go off to the other universe thinking that you were going back to who ou were, never knowing who I was."

"I will miss you." She hugged him again, fiercer somehow, and the room held its breath as the tears began to fall from that strong woman. "Well, best to rip the plaster off quickly." she sniffed.

"Right," he nodded.

She studied him for a time. "Promise you will be good, and do right by her?"

"Always." The Other Doctor held up to fingers like a boy scout and grinned.

Donna nodded. "I was always partial to the name Tracey."

"Really?" The Other Doctor asked, one eye raised to his hairline.

"Oh, yeah, its a great name for a guy." Donna nodded seriously.

The Other Doctor seemed ready to except his fate when Donna laughed again. "Oh, I so had you you daft half alien thing!" she grinned. "You really want me to name you?"

"I really do." The Other Doctor nodded.

"I think Xavier suits you. I always thought it was such a mysterious name. A name that begins with X, an uncommon name for an uncommonly good man."

He smiled. "I like it, very Marvel comics. Xavier Noble. That's a goodish name."

"The best." The Doctor finally chimed in from his perch by the console. "Right then, Donna, Lee, off you go then."

"Th-th-th-th-tha-a-a..." Lee began with his hand out to the Doctor.

"No need to thank me," The doctor smirked. "You should thank the round woman over there."

"Oi!" Martha objected, as lee made his way to hug her.

The Doctor smirked at his own smarminess, and Martha had to refrain from removing the look off of the ancient man's face permanently.

"OO, guess things didn't go so well there, eh Doc?" Donna asked, blowing a kiss across the room toward her friend. "Guess you have some 'splainin' to do." she turned to the man she had longed pined for. "Seems a good time for a vacation, Lee, you think?"

The new man in the TARDIS smiled, not sure of how to answer her.

"Oh, that's what I like about him, a man of few words. Not like skinny one and two over there." she grinned.

Donna took Lee by the hand, and her bags in the other. With a wave, they left from the TARDIS for the resort planet.

"Should have taken her to Earth and left her there." the Doctor grumbled after getting the ship back into the vortex.

"That's my mother you are talking about." Xavier answered more bitterly than Martha would have believed.

"You're going to miss her." Martha soothed, bringing her hand to his back.

"Of course I am!" he snapped. Xavier turned to Rose, "You had better not get in my way, there. I am going to the other universe with you, and I will make sure you never start messing with realities again. Do, and I will burn you. Slowly."

Rose shrank back into her seat at his words. Whether she took his threat seriously, Martha would never be certain. But, she was certain that Xavier spoke more promise than threat.

"Right, then." the Doctor interrupted. "Guess its time to get you kids home."

XXXXXX

He's hugged her before leaving the ship. The sun bore down brightly on Bad Wolf Bay; Martha brought her hand over her eyes to shield from the rays. The Doctor seemed to linger over seeing them off, she wondered if it was more out of delaying being left alone with her. She could have told him he had nothing to worry about, she had no reason to speak to him before going back to Torchwood Three.

"Give him a chance, yeah?" he asked, his forehead resting on hers. "He is more miserable than you know."

"Oh, I know how miserable he is." Martha answered.

Xavier threw his head back. "Martha, you are just what he needs, it's pointless to fight it."

"You know why this is horrible, Xavier. Don;t make light of it, you have all of his memories."

"I know, but sometimes, when life hands you lemons-"

"Oh, don't you dare finish that tired hackneyed cliche."

"...you take them and smash them into the face of the sourpuss who tells you to make lemonade." He smiled then, and before Martha could ag=rgue, gave her a kiss that in no way could have been mistaken for a genetic transfer.

"Well, good to see that everything works, then." the Doctor tipped with an edge. "Now, if you don;t mind, we have to get going."

"So, go."

But, the Doctor took Xavier aside, the two men stood just out of earshot. Rose watched the two with tears forming in small crystals in the corners of her eyes. "I hope you are happy." she spoke quietly.

"You would be so surprised at my answer to that." Martha answered.

"I doubt that."

Martha shrugged. It was too late in the game and too cold in Norway for her to even care what Rose thought. She imagined that the anger would keep the younger woman warm at night, she'd need it with that personality.

She watched the Doctor speaking to Xavier animatedly, then slipped something into his hands. It was a piece of coral from the TARDIS. She smiled as Xavier grabbed for his father in a fierce hug.

The Doctor stepped back after the embrace; he turned his gaze to Rose. "Behave." was all he said before turning toward the ship again. Rose's face crumpled at his snub; and again Martha could not help but feel that pity for the young girl. She hoped that Rose took her life into different directions, and mostly, that she grew the hell up.

"Ready to go?" he asked after they were both back on the ship.

"Born ready."

The two stood opposite each other at the console. The Doctor stood with his hands in his pockets; Martha, arms folded, wishing to be somewhere else. "Right," he nodded. "Down the rabbit hole with us, then."

He got them back to the other side without a single word. She wondered if he had ever been that quiet for that long. The ship spun in the vortex, with it's occupants spinning in emotional limbo.

It would be awkward, but they had passed awkward a long time ago. Now, as the two stood in the console room, the only word that came to mind for Martha was painful. Their being alone on the ship now was excruciating. He stood at the console, hands thrust into his pockets, eying her as if she was a cake of plutonium left out on the schoolyard. She wasn't sure how she felt about him, about any of it.

"I would have thought that you would be happy about all of this." He shrugged finally, his words breaking the silence that had become again a physical entity.

"Well, there you go thinking again," Martha shoved. "I suppose that all of that brain up there must be used for something."

"You were the one with the crush..." he hemmed.

"And look where that got me." she took her belly into her hands. "Look what that has done to me, long term? And, FYI, Doctor, I got over that a long time ago. I am not some star struck kid ready to bend reality for you. You have a bit of a bloated ego, don't you?"

He shrugged again.

"What? Nothing to say? No having this out for once and for all?"

"I think you are doing enough of that for both of us. And, like you said before, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it."

"Yeah, you are right. But, I have my own mind, and my own life. I can live it in spite of this, in spite of you."

He looked as if she had slapped him, and still that did not stop the venom. "You did this to me, you have left me emotionally crippled for the rest of my life. Thanks for that."

"Glad I could be of assistance," he said quietly. The Doctor threw the handbrake and landed the ship gently. "Thanks for flying Air TARDIS hope you had a good time."

"Could have done without the in-flight movie." Martha huffed, "I hate cheesy dramas."

She grabbed her bag and walked down the ramp for the door, head held high, but feeling lower than a snake's belly. She walked out of the doors without so much as thought of looking back one last time. She did, however, pause on the way out, hand on the wall by the door, she bid the ship one final good bye.

Jack was right outside as she emerged. "Everything all right?" he asked with a smile.

"End of the line." Martha nodded with finality.

XXXXXXX

Three months transgressed her life slowly. She took walks around the hub, fed Myfwawny, and learned to be a whiz at the intricate computer systems—mostly because there was no one else to do it. She figured out all of Tosh's patterns and firewalls. When Jack had first asked her to take a look at things, she responded in her best Bones McCoy voice about being a doctor, not a geek.

But, in hindsight, he was trying to give her something to do, to keep her from going insane. He never asked what happened between she and the Doctor; why, if Rose was back where she belonged, why was the Doctor traveling alone? Jack seemed to understand what went on, at least on a basic level. His assumption, she was sure, was that she would rather not be alone with the Doctor on board. That, she wanted to be of use on Earth, rather than useless floating through time and space.

"You wanna make sure that firewall won't get breached?" Jack asked from behind her.

"Don't poke the bear, Jack. I got three weeks left in my sentence, I suggest you not take chances on playing Guess The Hormone Level."

He nodded. "You hear from your friend lately?" he asked. Again. In fact, Martha noted that Jack made a point to ask that question every week. Usually, it was around the same time each week, Thursday, while she was busy dumping caches and clearing folders. "You already know the answer to that one," she clipped. "I am sure you talk to him more than I do. Stop being so passive aggressive, Jack. Just come out and say what's on your mind."

"He's miserable."

"I know that." Martha nodded, still not looking at Jack as she spoke. "But that was his choice, wasn't it? Sorry if I didn't just fall all over myself with joy at being roped into a relationship. My bad."

"Martha..." Jack tried, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders.

Martha shook him off. "Sorry, don't want to be touched, thanks. Just, do me a favor, Jack. Leave it." I don't want to have to put you on the same list as him."

Jack finally turned the swivel chair and stooped to look her in the eyes. "You are being unreasonable." he accused.

"And, you are treading on thin ice, I still owe you for the retcon incident. Care to have me collect?"

Jack stood, straightened his braces and sighed. He looked for a moment, as if he was going to say something, but, in the end, he turned and headed back toward his office.

She was certain that his heart, however misguided, had been in the right place. Martha wasn't offering any information, and Jack seemed to really need it. One night, a month before, over a Weevil autopsy, he had interrogated her, uselessly. Every question about the Doctor was answered with another offer of information about the autopsy. Jack finally threw his hands into the air and stormed out of the medical wing.

The one thing she could say about Jack, was that he knew when to push, and when the pushing had gone too far.

Martha was grateful for him leaving it alone. She had no idea if he had tried to call or not. She had gotten rid of her phone and had Gwen bring her a new Iphone. She changed her number, and for good measure, blocked her old number.

But she could not deny the fact that she missed him.

Every day, she felt that pull, and every day she shrugged it off. With each day she crossed off the calendar, she felt better. It wasn't getting any easier, but Martha Jones was determined to like her life on her own terms, and not be a slave to some biological urge she never asked for.

Donna had had a good time on her vacation with Lee, and the both of them were now taking some time to get to know each other. Donna only took weekly trips on the TARDIS, she spent most of her time with Lee, getting to know him and the future. Donna was havign a great time on Earth in 4565, but she missed the traveling, and the emailed Martha nearly every day, and seemed to understand why she left.

"It's not something you chose, Martha. But, it was a necessary evil." The red head had written. "And, as I am starting to learn, you can;t travel with the Doctor forever, its just too long a time."

Martha supposed she was right, even Wendy had to grow up and have her own family. But, oh what adventures to tell the grandchildren.

She sighed in her seat and allowed her weight to shift to the back of the chair.

She had talked to her family ad nauseum. Her mother still never pressed her for details, and for that, Martha was grateful. Her mother always asked how she was, if she needed anything, was she taking care of herself. Martha, for her part, always offered the right information at the right time. When her mother begged to see her, Martha would claim being on some alien planet somewhere and promised to call her when it was time.

She hated lying to her mother, but Francine Jones, was in no way ready to handle the truth, and if it was up to her, Martha would never tell her. She was fine with her mother believing what she wanted to—that the baby she carried was made out of some sort of love and serenity of feelings, and not the horror that was the reality of it.

Tush did visit, often. She asked more questions than Martha wanted to answer. Tish shook her head at her sister and wondered aloud what had come over her.

"Just hormonal," Martha would claim and smile. Tish wanted to know why she wasn't on the TARDIS, Martha wouldn't answer, eventually Tish stopped asking, and Martha realized that at some point, some pillow talk discussion between her sister and Jack had taken place. It was the only assumption she could make, because Tish now eyed her with a sad sort of disbelief.

You're so cold now, what happened?" Tish had asked one night over dinner.

Martha had shrugged and spoke, "Not cold, just waiting for it to be over."

"And what happens then, Martha?"

Martha shrugged again and picked at her sweet and sour shrimp.

"You are going to have to deal with it sooner or later." Tish spoke in that know it all sister tone she often used on her younger sister.

"Rather later than sooner, Tish." Martha glared at her sister. "And I would not be in this mess if it hasn't been-" She stopped herself, but the words did not need to be said, she had regretted them as soon as she had uttered them, but as it often is, words can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

Tish had stood and left the room. Jack had glared at her and shook his head. She had never seen him that angry.

Tish had left her alone after that, had stopped talking to her for a time. Martha, for her part, left out the apology she was sure should have been offered. And blame it on what? Hormones? Stress? The truth was, she had cut out her feelings, Martha knew she had grown colder. It was easier to suppress her feelings rather than let any of them in. Once she started to feel, then it was only a matter of time before she would _have_ to feel.

Martha knew that some time soon, before the baby was due, there was going to be some sort of intervention. She sighed again, mentally preparing herself for the inevitability of it. She knew they would all confront her, force her to make choices she had been putting off since day one.

Did she want the baby?

It was the question that always came back to her mind. Where would she raise it? He would be safe for a time, but here on Earth, eventually, he would be found out, then what? Unit had already proven themselves untrustworthy with him, and Martha would not wish that fate on anyone she hated, let alone a child that, though not hers, she had come to love.

She stretched then, feeling as if she had truly run out of internal space and wishing _she_ was bigger on the inside. She rubbed her side and yawned, even thought about running a hot bath to ease the discomfort.

Funny how thinking about water made her need to pee. She rose up, and realized that she already had.

But, it wasn't what she had thought it was.

As Martha looked down at the mess she had just made, she smirked humorlessly.

"Looks like sooner just showed up and beat the hell out of later."


	28. It's Too Late To Change Your Mind II

**Thanks all for the love and kindness you have shown this fic. In the home stretch, i realized i have been working on this thing for nearly a year. hopefully, i have not made you all wait to long for resolution. Two more chaps on this one. Enjoy!**

"You really need to rethink this." Jack pled with a shake of his head.

Martha continued her steady, patterned breathing, ignoring the words from the immortal man.

"I mean, don't they teach you anything at medical school?" he asked as they sat in the infirmary.

"Taught me plenty, Jack. That's why I know I can do this."

"Then, you should know trying to deliver this baby alone is a bad idea."

She took another deep breath through a contraction. "Jack, I am trying to concentrate, d'you mind?"

He shrugged, but went on. "No, I have the name of this doctor-"

"Better not be UNIT." Martha said.

Jack shook his head. "No, no, not UNIT. He is an old friend of the Doctor's, traveled with him for a time."

"That mad alien has a thing for doctors, doesn't he?" Martha smiled. The contractions were only coming every ten minutes. She was still breathing through them and relaxing in between.

"You have no idea." Jack moved closer to the high backed recliner that Martha insisted on using for the time. "So,"

"So?" Martha asked.

"Should I call him?"

Martha considered for a moment. The two of them had talked over the last three months about how to handle the birth. Martha, for a time, had insisted that she do the delivery herself, but Jack had promised to find someone trustworthy. "This isn't some sort of trick, is it?" she asked, feeling the constriction of another pain edging its way across her abdomen.

"Sarah Jane approves of this guy. She is the one who gave me his contact info. I would have come to you about it today, but..." he motioned toward her reclined body.

"Right, needs must." She sighed. "I suppose if Sarah Jane says he is alright..."

"She does!" Jack smiled at her, took her hand in his and spoke. "You can't do this alone, what if something happens? You'll never forgive yourself."

"Promise me, Jack. You agreed not to tell the Doctor until afterward. Promise me."

Jack's face held a sad affectation, but nodded solemnly. "You know I will honor that, Nightingale. I wouldn't do that to you."

Martha acquiesced with a nod. She clenched her hands as the next contraction began to wave. "Getting pretty real now,"

Jack rose and made for the door. "I am going to send Gwen in here to be with you while I go and get him. Should I call anyone else?"

"No reason to get everyone up and out of bed this early, Jack. Early yet. Besides, Tish isn't talking to me still, and Mum, well I don;t think she really understands the whole situation. I regret even telling her. It's all moot, isn't it? Once he's born, I am going to call the Doctor to take him."

"You sure about that?" Jack asked with one eyebrow raised.

"What choice do I have?"

"You have a choice, Martha. Whether or not you opt to take advantage of it is up to you."

"Taking advantage...Bad turn of phrase, Jack." Martha spat. She wanted peace and serenity as she brought the little soul into the universe. But, what Martha was feeling was neither peaceful nor serene. Every cell in her body screamed to have Jack call the Doctor, to bring him here so he can be with her. But, Martha had decided that this was something she would do on her own, sever ties, rip the plaster off quickly. Having him here, touching her, it would remind her of what she fought every hour now.

"Your call," Jack tossed over his shoulder as he left the medical room.

She welcomed the silence his departure gave her. Martha knew that this day would be loud, full of new experiences and people n and out. She relished the small respite of solace of being alone.

"Well," she spoke aloud. "Looks like today is the big day for us, huh?" she smiled, drawing circles on her abdomen with both hands. "I think this is going to be the last time that you and I will be alone. I really don;t know what to say to you. I feel like we never got to really know one another. But, in truth, it's probably better that way.

"I hope you have a good life, and I hope that we at least get to know one another. I just want you to know I did this to help my sister...your mother I suppose. But, I did come to really...love you." She sighed away a lump forming in her throat. "But, you are going to see the stars, and the galaxies. You will see things and experience things that most humans cannot even imagine. You will have a fantastic life."

"Of course he will," Gwen breezed in, "He's got you for a Mum."

"Hey Gwen, you my sitter now?" she asked, avoiding Gwen's declaration.

"Just until our fearless leader gets back from his errand. Said something about getting you a doctor. The Doctor?"

Martha shook her head. "So, ready to witness the miracle of birth."

"Don't see what's so miraculous about it. Looks pretty painful to me. And messy."

Martha shook her head, leave it to the Welsh to put things into mighty perspective. "It's all those things, and more." she agreed with a nod, "But, wait until you experience, it is like nothing else you will know."

Gwen smiled and patted her knee. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Nah, can't eat, and its too early for me to need any ice chips. Not quite there yet."

Gwen nodded. "Well, all the same, I am here if you need anything."

She appreciated the gesture, she really did. But, in truth, she just wanted to be left alone, to enjoy this last time with him before...

Before what?" Martha shook the loose thought out of her head and spoke. "I'm good Gwen, could you leave us?"

"No can do, Martha? Jack asked me to stick around, make sure you were all right."

The pressure began again, slow constriction, she knew it was time for another contractions. "Tell you what, give me a few yeah? I'm gonna have a shower and a bit of a nap before things really kick off."

"You sure?" Gwen asked.

"Oh, I've been showering alone for years, Gwen. I think I can manage on my own."

Gwen smiled at that. "Oh all right, don;t suppose a few minutes alone would make a difference. Anything you need, you know how to yell, yeah?"

"I've worked here long enough to know how to yell in several different alien languages." Martha grinned. She watched Gwen retreat through the same door she entered, and was more than grateful for the peace as she rode the next contraction's peak.

XXXXX

She'd fallen asleep in the recliner, she knew she had because the next thing she saw was Jack standing over her with a strange man in tow. "Martha, how are you feeling?"

Martha had never met Dr. Harry Sollivan before, but she knew his face. He had been one of the Old Guard at UNIT. He'd been working in Scotland for the past three years, and while she had spoken to him on the phone a few times, and traded travel stories, she had never really met him. They had always ended their calls with a promise to share stories over a pint sometime.

"Nice to finally meet you, Harry." Martha breathed as another contraction roiled through her..

"Pleasure is all mine, isn't it." Harry winked. "Looks like you started without me."

"Sorry, if I knew you were coming i'd have baked a cake."

"Looks like I don't need to do any introductions here then, good. We can get this going." Jack wheeled out the ultrasound equipment that she had been using over the last three months to monitor her pregnancy. He had not liked that she was treating herself, and she had told him to go get stuffed, there were no other doctors that she trusted.

Harry used a stethoscope to listen to the fetus. Martha said nothing as she continued to breathe slowly/ "Twins?" he asked Jack.

Jack shrugged and handed him the wand of the ultrasound machine.

"How can you not know it's twins or not? Were you receiving any prenatal care, Martha?"

"Some." she said. "But the last three months I've been looking after myself."

Harry sighed disapprovingly, "not such a great idea, and obviously you need to brush up on your obstetrics if you missed the second fetus."

Martha allowed the two men to work, breathing quiet and shallow as they worked. By the time the image appeared on the screen, Martha was in the throes of another contraction.

"There are two hearts here!" Harry exclaimed. He looked around the room to first Martha, and then Jack.

"Yeah," Jack said.

"Then the other has started beating then?" Martha asked.

Harry shook his head. "Seems that way, but this changes things quite a bit. Two problems, one; both hearts are beating but they are erratic, hence why the assumption of twins. From what I remember of my tenure as the Doctor's less than personal physician, I know that they should not beat like that. Though, I can't be sure if its different in infants." Hrry again turned to look at Martha. "Is this baby what I think it is?"

"Yes, and no." Martha surmised.

"I can tell _you_ traveled with the Doctor." Harry smirked.

"It's complicated, Doc."

"Obviously." Harry sighed then spoke. "Look, I realize that, for whatever reason, there is an infant here with two hearts, now, knowing what I know about Time Lord physiology, I can make two assumptions. Either, this child is of that genealogy, or you have a unique medical situation here. Either way, we need to take action, and to do that, I need to know the truth."

"You gotta understand our need for this to be as quiet as possible. UNIT has been in contact with this in the beginning, I am sure you can figure out how that went."

Harry nodded. "It's dangerous to let them in on anything these days I don't know what has happened since the Brig passed away.""Are you confirming the genetic make up then, Captain?"

"I am," Martha spoke up finally. "And as long as you help me get this little one to the world safely, I will tell you anything you need to know."

"Let's keep this on a need to know basis, shall we?" Harry smiled and patted Martha on the shoulder. "I need you to look at the screen, Martha, what do you see?"

She raised up from her reclined position enough to take a hard look at what Harry was pointed to. "Oh," she said. "Oh, that's not good."

Harry nodded. You are right, this could be a problem, if the cord is around his neck that tightly, it could be a big problem."

Jack moved closer to the screen. "Oh, all right." He turned to Martha. "Good thing we called in for back up on this one."

"It wasn't like that when I checked last week. He was progressing normally." Martha defended, already regretting her care. She had had good reasons for doing it all on her own then, but all of her fierce independence seemed foolish insolence now.

"These things happen, Martha." Harry assured her. "No sense in playing what if. It's all come to this moment. What we do now is what is important" He smiled, and in that moment, Martha could really see that he had traveled with the Doctor at some point. There was a kind strength about the older man and he seemed to exude a level of patience that many people lacked.

Jack nodded, and winked at Martha. For a moment, she thought he was going to say 'I told you so,' but, instead, he began to pace the length of the room "So, what are our options then here, Doc?"

Harry seemed taken aback by that, "options? I thought you were waiting for the Doctor to get here?"

"He isn't coming. Not for this." Martha shook her head.

"What do you mean, he isn't coming? I would imagine he would be all over this."

"It's complicated. " Jack repeated.

"Spare me the complicated bullshit here, Captain. This is not something within my purview of training."

"Then, it is about to be." Martha insisted. "Because, the Doctor is not coming."

Harry nodded in understanding, though Martha could tell he did not understand. She, in fact, got the distinct impression that if he had a means to, he would contact the Doctor himself. But, she also could tell that he wanted to keep her calm and stress free, which, in Martha's opinion, involved keeping the Doctor out of this.

"Right then, the cord is around the neck, and the hearts are beating erratically. If it was not for the cardiac issues, I would opt for an immediate c-section, but Martha, you and I both know that this is a very delicate birth. I am not leaving out the idea of an emergency Cesarian. I think we should see if the heart rate is a stable one. I would feel a whole lot better if the Doctor was in on this one."

"So would I." Jack interrupted with a pointed look at Martha. "but that is not an option right now. So, Doc, let's figure out how to make sure mother and baby get out of this alive."

"You make it sound like a recon mission, Jack." Martha smiled with a shake of her head.

"It's all recon, Nightingale. I don't want to have to face down our friend if I lose either of you."

"Right, so the best course of action is a wait and see position. For now. You're early on, Martha. Still only dilated to 3 and you are at a plus 2 station. How are the contractions?"

"Steady and increasingly painful." she gritted as she rode the wave of another contraction.

"Right, right of course they are. And, they are only going to get harder. You must focus Martha. If we can get him delivered vaginally, I will unwrap the cord as he emerges, all right?"

Martha nodded, she understood the trauma of a c section with his heart rate could be dangerous, she would have made the same call. She lay her head back onto the chair and contemplated taking a walk.

XXXX

An hour later, she was still considering the walking but the contractions were ratcheting up quite nicely on their own.

She wasn't sure if it was good news or bad, but Harry Sullivan turned out to be one hell of a doctor. He seemed completely nonplussed by the heart rate issue nor was he put off by the umbilical cord. Harry came in every 15 minutes to check her progress and to check the baby's vitals.

She understood the lessons that traveling with the Doctor teaches a companion. That, no matter the situation, it's never really that bad. That keeping one's head in a desperate situation is not only a good life skill, it's a necessity. That the possibilities are truly endless, and no situation is truly ever that desperate that a modicum of humor could not lighten; or, at the very least, unnerve. She could see these qualities in Harry, and she wondered if he could see them in her. Harry seemed more than a little concerned that the Doctor was not coming, but Martha was resolute in her decision. It truly was for the best.

The contractions had picked up speed along the way. The duration and intensity had become nearly unbearable for her. But, Martha knew that there was no way she would have one. His vitals were sketchy at best. It had been an hour since Harry decreed that they would uphold the wait and see attitude. In that time, Martha had demanded solace. Jack wanted to get her mother and sister, but Martha insisted that she wanted to enjoy this, while she could, alone.

Jack had shrugged at her insistence and left her alone.

Reclining in the chair, in the infirmary of Torchwood with the lights dimmed and no sound in the room, Martha was finally feeling at peace again. But, in the moments after Harry had left again, something, somewhere indie of her screamed to be righted. She began to feel bad for not allowing him here. A lesser person would have done it as a punishment, and Martha did not see herself as a petty, bitter woman. She chose not to have him here for reasons that were pivotal to a healthy and safe delivery. The stress level of what she faced in life was too much, and seeing him, it all would come back in a flood. Touching him would be worse. She knew she wasn't that strong.

She awoke to hands on her shoulders, Harry had offered her something for the pain, but she had refused repeatedly. Martha did not want drugs in his already fragile system. Harry always woke her before he examined her. "You're only at four. Progressing nicely, Martha, and his hearts seem to be stabilized. The rate is erratic, but there seems to be steady, and no longer thready."

"They were thready?" she asked surprised.

Harry nodded solemnly. "Still sure about keeping our friend out of this?"

Martha lost some of her wind. On one hand, she knew no one was better suited to handle the situation. On the other hand, she was afraid of his presence and what it would do to her.

XXXXX

"Something's wrong." She awoke with a start, the words pouring from her in a loud scream.

Harry and Jack came into the infirmary, both seemed as if they were waiting for just this to happen.

"Martha, listen to me carefully." Harry asserted. "The baby's down to one heart, only one is beating and it's wildly erratic."

Martha nodded through the fog of pain and confusion.

"I think it's time to prep for an emergency Cesarian, all right?" It was more command than question.

She was barely aware of Gwen entering the room. "Jack, we have a situation" she spoke around the mask she held to her face.

"Can't it wait? I'm sorta in the middle of something."

"No, Jack. We have an invasion on our hands."

Jack gave Martha a look of apology before heading out of the door. Harry continued to prep a small side table for the impending emergency surgery. "This is not the best of conditions Martha, but I understand not being able to go to a hospital. But, maybe it's time to call the Doctor in on this one?"

Jack re-entered the room wearing a stony mask of certainty. "Doc, a minute?"

Harry turned a glare at Jack that could have given the immortal man mortality. "Are you serious? I'm prepping for surgery."

"A consult." Jack nodded, his look brokering no argument.

Harry took a moment to inject Martha with the syrringe he had just prepared. "This will take time to kick in anyway, Martha. Please, relax, breathe evenly." Then, he followed Jack out the door.

Martha barely counted to fifty before the two men came back into the room, followed by a third in scrubs. "Martha, this is a colleague of mine. I had asked him to come, and he just made it here."

"Got lost, traffic, you know?" The man offered.

"Right, " jack nodded quickly. "This is Dr. Bowman. He has worked with Harry before, "

Martha nodded, the pain was so much now that images of reality were only coming in flashes, whatever Harry had given her barely took the edge off. She was too exhausted to even question anything. If Jack and Harry vouched for this Dr. Bowman, then she had no energy to object.

"Martha," Dr. Bowman moved closer to her. "How are you feeling?"

She could not make out his features, his face seemed too bland to really lock onto one particular thing. She could tell he was young, closer to her own age. She had the feeling he was as experienced as he seemed. He wore white scrubs and Martha nearly wanted to giggle at them, they seemed like something out of the old show MASH. They were all wrong for that time. "Hurts," she managed.

"Right, of course it does, dear. That's what happens when you try to do too much on your own, no one to stop you. An old friend taught me that. Then, she slapped me. That was pain. But, as they say, this too shall pass. So, let's get this passed, hmmm?"

He reminded her of an older disapproving aunt. Something about his cadence seemed so much older than what she thought he was. And, somewhere in her addled brain, some distant memory sparked. "Doctor..."

"Bowman, yes dear. Don't talk, its all right. We are going to make sure we get that little here safe and sound. Jack?"

Jack seemed surprised to be called upon. "Yeah,"

"Get me my things out of the...car. Right in front, bu the door." Jack nodded and took off.

"Harry, good to see you. Been a while, eh? Still practicing alien medicine without a license? We'll discuss this later. "

"Doctor...Bowman. I was prepping for an emergency Cesarian..."

"Of course you were, that is exactly what you should have done. Now, you can un-prep. Not necessary. I think you will find that this has moved on nicely. Martha is mush calmer, which means the baby is calmer. " Doctor Bowman pointed to the screen where the image of the baby and its vitals were monitored. "Only one heart beating, but nice and regular. He'ss be fine. Martha's vitals are good...I think this will go very serenely now. I like serene, peaceful. Martha even has a comfy chair."

Martha frowned, something was off. "Doctor Bowman, I think something is happening."

"Didn't you hear me?" Dr. Bowman moved close to her, but not quite close enough to touch her. "everything is going to be fine, Martha."

"No," she shook her head as she felt cold, suddenly so cold. "It's burning." she whispered. In her foggy haze, she raised her arm to see gold light coming off of her skin. "What's happening?" she asked.

The room was in uproar. "Stand back!" Doctor Bowman yelled as he dragged both Jack and Harry to the other side of the room. Jack reached for Gwen who had come in during the commotion and dragged her away from the scene.

"What is it?" Harry asked from his vantage point."

"Jack, where is my bag?" Dr. Bowman bellowed.

Jack threw the bag into the arms of the younger man. Bowman seemed to rife through the bag as Martha's body began to emit more and more light. "Martha, I need you to stay calm, don't move." He withdrew a syringe of something, tapped the barrel, and approached Martha, warning everyone else to stay away with hand gestures.

"Maybe I should do that, Doc." Jack offered, coming to the other side of Martha. The golden hues were still rolling off her skin, and Jack held out his hand for the injection.

Dr. Bowman seemed resolute in allowing Jack to handle her care. "In the wrist, Jack. Nice and easy."

Jack took Martha's still glowing arm and pressed the plunger. Immediately, the world seemed to tilt right before her eyes. "I don;t like this." she whimpered, fighting the darkness that began to edge its way around her.

"Don;t fight it, Martha. You have to let it do its thing. The baby needs this, and so do you. Please, don't fight it." Dr. Bowman reassured her with a gentle smile.

"Easy for you to say." she managed as pain and burning ripped through her body, her blood felt like ice in her veins. "Harry, what is it?"

"I don't know Martha."

"It's the baby, Martha." Doctor Bowman announced as she finally mercifully began to succumb to the sweet darkness hiding at the edges of her consciousness. "He's regenerating."

XXXXXX

She awoke to a much calmer existence. Jack and Harry were no longer in the room, but seated in the far corner, sitting up in a chair holding something was Doctor Bowman. It took Martha nearly a full minute to realize he was holding a baby. Her baby.

She said nothing, mostly because she was still too fuzzy to say anything. She took in the scene of the odd man, still in old fashioned scrubs, holding the small bundle in his arms.

"That's it," he cooed. "Yes, I know it;s not as good as Mummy, but I can only work with what I have." He sat trying to coax a bottle into the infant's mouth. The small baby seemed none too pleased about the entire situation.

"Don't say things like that, of course she loves you. She's just very, very, tired. You gave her quite a hard time getting here.

The baby squeaked and Doctor Bowman answered his tones. "Yes, well, you should have been a lot more patient. Coming early like that? Is that what you want people to think of you? He Who Comes Early? I can tell you that is not going to be a very popular moniker. Especially with the ladies."

"You talk as if you speak baby." Martha spoke, her voice sounding foreign in her own mouth.

Bowman raised his head and smiled at her. Martha could make out his features much easier now. He wasn't unattractive, but there was something about his eyes. "Do I know you?"

He smiled then, a brilliant toothy grin. "Of course ou know me, I was here earlier, or don;t you remember?"

Martha shook her head. "No, I do, it's just that, you reminded me of someone."

"I get that a lot." he rose with the baby in his arms. "I think he wants his Mu, though, I have been hogging him while you were sleeping it off."

"I'm not his Mum," Martha insisted.

"Of course you are, why wouldn't you be?" he came closer and presented the baby to her, she could see his tiny face peeking out from the towel he was wrapped in. His eyes were open, studying her, burning through her. "He needs you," the man insisted.

"I'm afraid." she whispered, eyes still fixed on the baby.

"Of him" Bowman asked surprised. "Oh, he talks a big game, but really, he is just a pushover. And, I have it on his personal promise that he will not bite."

She smiled, but shook her head. "I'd better not, best not to get attached..."

Bowman nodded, but stood closer, still edging the baby toward Martha's twitching arms. Everything inside of her longed to touch him, to hold him. "I can't," she sobbed low, "I'm afraid that if I hold him, or touch him, I won;t ever let him go."

"Is that such a bad thing, Martha?" he asked knowingly.

"Yes," she nodded it is."

"But, he needs it, Martha." Bowman tried again. "Please."

tgpd0wns pass is :deathbyme


	29. You Let Loss Be Your Guide II

**One more after this, then i am posting the next story in this tirade. Thanks for all of the love and support and i hope you are all having a brilliant summer...or winter for my other hemisphered readers**

It was as if all of time had come to a stuttering, shuddering halt. Bowman stood so close to her, she could smell..."Who are you?" she moved back further in the bed. "Really?"

He smiled, a dazzling brilliant, familiar grin. "Oh, just a doctor..."

"No, you are not. How did you know so much back there? Harry barely knew anything. You came in here all blustery and confident. Cocky even."

Doctor Bowman shrugged, "Just a doctor." he repeated. "And my prescription for this little one here is an extra dose of Mummy."

Martha tucked her hands under her armpits and shook her head. "What's happened to me?" she asked rhetorically.

Bowman sat on the side of her bed, still holding the baby. "You have had a very traumatic delivery, Martha." but he gave no other mention of anything. The baby in his arms began to shuffle, working up to a cry.

"I thought I would be stronger." she uttered, still afraid to look at Doctor Bowman, or the baby.

"You are strong." he assured her with a nod.

But, Martha shook her head emphatically, "no, I'm not. I should have called the Doctor to come. He should have been here for this. "

Bowman nodded. "Sometimes we make decisions, and in the light of the end of the fight, they do not seem as important." he shifted the still quiet baby in his arms. "It's what we do from now that counts."

"My life is not my own." she said.

He nodded. "You have a mum, is her life her own? Was it really ever?" he smiled a little. "I would imagine that you could not remember a time when her life was her own."

"It's not the same thing, and that is not what I meant." Martha shook her head in frustration, flexing her fingers and shifting her muscles She could feel the strain of her abdominal muscles, and without being told, knew that they had followed Harry's medical advice.

"Sure it is, I mean being a Mum is being a Mum, well unless your Mum wasn't a Mum, but then, no. That wouldn't make sense. OK, scratch that, if your Mum was a mum, then once she became a Mum, her life was never again her own."

"You really don't know how to stay on task, do you?" she smirked. "Give him here."

He smiled brilliantly again, but edged closer to hand the baby over to Martha. As she reached her hands to touch him, Bowman leaned in and touched her hands as he shifted the baby to her.

An immediate shock of electricity shifted through her body. Bowman locked his eyes with hers as the three of them held, frozen in the stance of an unintentionally happy family. The feelings coursing through her were alien, wrong somehow. Like a dress that fits great except in one little spot.

"That was weird." she shook her head, still feeling foggy from the anesthetics.

He nodded, but stood nearby as she held the tiny infant. He curled his tiny fists and let out a howl of frustrated insistence. "Oi! Language!" Bowman admonished the baby gently. "Feeding time!"

She hesitated, holding him was one thing; she felt that instant bond of familiarity and completion in an eight pound package. "I don't know how..."

"Sure you do, Martha." Bowman smiled. "Its like second nature. " His hands moved fluidly,, touching her breast as he helped the baby to latch on. "That's it, see, nothing to it."

HE really was hungry, his tiny little mouth worked tirelessly as he pulled her into motherhood. "Thank you." she said, still not lifting her eyes from the little miracle.

"Nothing to it, I was in the neighborhood, thought I would lend a hand." he smiled. Bowman raised himself back up as Jack entered the room.

"No, I don't think so," Martha shook her head. "you came for a reason."

Bowman nodded, "Our friend, left me a note; said you may need some help. He said that I should take care of you, didn't think you would want to see him just yet. "

Martha sighed heavily. "I should have called him, should have let him know that it was time."

"Time is all some of us have, Martha. In the grand scheme of things, I am sure he was here, in his own way."

"Doc, your ride's here." Jack spoke, breaking the odd silence that Bowman's words left.

"What do you mean by that?" Bowman asserted, moving closer to the immortal man. "I came in my 'ride,' why are you speaking in metaphors. I don't like metaphors, Jack, you know that."

"I mean your 'other' ride," Jack answered patiently.

Bowman's face remained stony and insistent for another moment, then, as if dawning realization prickled at the edges of his ire, he suddenly became twitchy." Oh, _that_ ride."

"Right, that one." Jack nodded.

"Well, this could get messy." he grinned. "Guess its time to exit stage right."

HE moved around Jack and headed for the door. "Doctor?" Martha called.

The strange doctor poked his head back in again, "You'll be fine, Martha."

"I _know_ that," she grinned, "I just wanted to say..." she looked down at the baby, smiled, then looked back up at Bowman, tears in her eyes."I just wanted to say, thanks for saving him, for saving both of us."

Bowman smiled, waved and left the room again. In an instant, he had returned, well his head anyway. He stuck it around the door frame and spoke. "You can thank me by telling our friend to leave the note in the cookie jar, atop the jammie dodgers. He'll know where." He waved, and exited the room, followed closely by Jack.

Martha barely had time to exhale the breath she had been holding before a commotion outside broke her maternal reverie.

"Jack?" she called, not sure if she should ru, hide, or wait for the hail of gunfire.

The Doctor pounded into the small room, brown suit crumpled, hair wilder than usual. "There you are!"

She smiled from her perch, feeling he was winding up for a rant.

"It's like Fort Knox in here all of the sudden, and believe me, I know how tight the security is there, Got locked in there more than once. Or the Pentagon, although, not as tight by way of security in that one. I tell you, getting out of cold storage, well let's just say I was grateful for having a scarf back then. Why did they give me the run around here, Martha? I was coming to see you, and suddenly, Jack's all James Bond, Gwen is uncharacteristically aloof, and that Ianto kept trying to get me to sit for a coffee." he sniffed then, as if suddenly realizing where he was. What is this? Why are you here...oh..."

Martha smiled at his sudden realization. He moved to stand on the side of her bed, suddenly not sure of where to put his hands. He studied her as if she were made of glass. "So, how was it?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "A bit touch and go for a while. There were some complications." she looked back down at the now sleeping infant. "If it wasn't for that Dr. Bowman you sent, I don't think either one of us would have made it."

He cast a puzzled glare. "Dr. Bowman you say?" he sniffed knowingly. "Ah, yes, I see."

"You have no idea who I am talking about, do you?" she shook her head. "Do you even know a Dr. Bowman?"

"Yes, and no."

"Maybe it hasn't happened yet. He did ask me to tell you to leave the note in with the cookies, by the jammie dodgers. Said you would know."

"I know a lot of people. Lot of doctors too." he defended. "But, I do know that I owe this Bowman quite a bit. So, healthy then, is he?"

"Want to hold him?" Martha asked. Initially, she thought he would say no, but he held his hands out, almost reluctantly, and leaned into her.

"He's heavy."

"Eight pounds." Martha nodded, surprised at the amount of pride she felt in that.

The Doctor studied the baby as he slept. "Seems like all of his parts are in the right place, brain seems fine."

"Of course he is, Dr. Bowman is excellent." Martha sighed, suddenly feeling tired.

"Yes, I am sure he is, or was, or...will be?" the Doctor murmured.

"Whatever," she allowed, already feeling the strains of exhaustion pulling her back under.

"Martha?" she heard him call from far away. "What about a name?"

It dawned on her in her near slumber. "What's your name, Doctor? I mean your real name?"

He seemed surprised by the question. "Its one of the universe's greatest secrets."

"Not too full of yourself, then." Martha said.

"No, really it is. Do you really want to know?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"Sure, why not?"

He scooted closer to her on the bed, baby still tucked into the crook of his long arm. "You sure?"

Martha made room for him on her side of the bed. "You make it sound like a big deal."

"It sort of is," he nodded solemnly.

She smiled up at him as he eased closer, close enough to smell his alien scent, but still not touching. "Don't worry, Doctor, I'll keep your secret."

"Of that," he whispered into her ear. "I have absolutely no doubt." The Doctor whispered a name into her ear, barely audible, or even understandable, but it was there. When he moved away from her side, Martha felt again that bereavement of loss at not being close to him. "That probably was not a good idea." She spoke in stunned realization.

"It had to be done." he nodded again.

"I should never have asked. I should have left it all alone." she sighed. "Name him what you like, Doctor. I think it's best I back away form all of this."

"How can you say that?" he asked, with a long glance to the sleeping infant. "How can you be so caviler about all of this?"

Martha shrugged drowsily. "None of this was any of my choice, was it?

The Doctor's face crumpled into one that Martha had only seen fired at despots and would be world dominators. "I think you have had a rough night. I think, you need time to adjust to the way things are. Now. I think, you need to get some sleep."

"I think," she answered, arms folded. "You need to take him and go."

The Doctor shook his head firmly. "No, Martha, you've run from this long enough. I have allowed this to go on-"

"Allowed?" she asked, not believing how he was speaking to her.

"...for long enough." he went on, ignoring her words. "You must come with, he needs you, needs both of us."

But Martha dug her heels in with arms folded. "You are not speaking to me as if I am some docile little flower. His is not what I signed up for."

"None of us did, Martha." he intoned.

It was her turn to ignore his words. "I have done my duty for God and country."

"You cost him a regeneration Would you like to be responsible for more of them?" he asked pointedly.

She wanted to slap him, she wanted to hurl things at him, again. Instead, she rolled over on her side and pouted like the child he was treating her like. "I didn't cost him a regeneration." she insisted in a small tone.

The Doctor nodded, still holding the baby, he rose from the bed and placed him in the bassinet. "You need to face your responsibility, Martha."

"And you need to learn to tell people what the hell is really going on." she fumed suddenly,the anger rising so fast it surprised even her. "How could you have done that? After what that monster did to Tish, how could you have turned around and done it to me."

"I didn't" he spoke calmly, and for that Martha hated him even more. His placid manner made her feel all the more irrational. It was that way he had of making others seem crazier when he was the calm one and it was everyone else who had lost their minds. "This was not supposed to happen."

"That's what you said about Tish." she pleaded. "You said it should not have happened. Why am I having a hard time believing you? Because you lie. Rule number one, the Doctor lies. Must be a phenotype of your people. You might want to warn the universe."

"They already know." he nearly whispered.

Martha shook her head and pulled the covers over herself again.

XXXXXX

Her mother did not understand her reluctance to go near the infant. Francine Jones had been called, had been brought to the Hub through the front way, avoiding all of the fantastical gadgets. She was lead directly to the infirmary in the hopes that she could bring her daughter out of whatever hole she had crawled into.

Francine spent an hour holding the small baby, but all Martha would do was feed him listlessly.

"Tish told me what happened." Francine admitted on that first night.

"She shouldn't have." Martha shook her head, still refusing to meet her mother's eyes.

"I think she should have, it was her story to tell, and she wanted to tell it. I understand why you didn't tell me everything, Martha." Francine studied the small infant again. "So, no name yet?"

"He's not mine to name, Mum, and you should not start fawning over him and getting attached. I meant what I said before. I am not his mother. I really was holding it for a friend."

Francine turned her attention from her grandson to her daughter. "He is yours Martha, in every way that counts."

"No, Mum." Martha insisted, scooting further away from her mother. "You need to ask the Doctor what his name is if you are interested. I'm not."

"Why are you so angry?" Francine asked, concern etched into her features.

"Don't look at me like that, Mum. I'm not post partum depressive. Stop eying me as if you are trying to remember the emergency number to have me sectioned. You don't know what I have been through."

"No, but I now know what your sister went through, and I know she wanted him to have a chance. She practically begged the Doctor to save him, for you to have him"

"And I did, I brought him into this world, but Mum, you don't understand."

"Make me understand then, Martha. Explain it to me as if I am old and feeble, because everyone else seems to see him as your son, but you."

Martha considered how much to tell her mother, how much would she understand? Was it safe to make her mother hate the Doctor as much as she did right now?" It's the same as Tish, Mum; if she told you everything, then you know what that bastard Saxon did to her."

"I think I understand that part." Francine answered with a slow shake of her head.

"The Doctor, he left me with the same thing, that same horrid feeling of being unfinished without him." Martha scooted closer to her mother as she continued to speak. "It's all rubbish, this notion about genetics, and breeding and bonding. He claims that this one." she pointed at the baby that Francine held. "Chose us as parents, and we are now genetically predisposed to be together. Its all rubbish."

Martha finished her tirade with a nod and folded arms. Francine sighed and raised her head to the ceiling. "Still doesn't tell me much, Martha. Other than, of course, that it is all rubbish."

She could tell her mother was getting frustrated, so she told. Martha explained everything she could in as easy a language as she could. She told her mother everything, in between the tale, she held the infant herself, fed him, but spoke all the while.

Francine did not ask a single question, she let her daughter go on and on, her head nodded in parts that egged Martha on. Martha felt a great unburdening in her telling of her side of things. Donna had already known everything, had been from the beginning. It was difficult to confide in someone that would take a neutral side having known all of them. But, in her mother, Martha hoped to gain an ally, if for nothing else than familial agreement.

She was wrong, of course.

When she finished, Martha rubbed her face with her small hands. "It's as if, I have no say in my own life anymore." she whined.

"Of course you don't what did you think would happen?" Francine asked in a tone so rational, it reminded her of the Doctor's earlier demeanor. Only, she did not hate her mother for her rationality. Instead, it covered her like a warm and familiar blanket. One could have set a watch by Francine Jones, always reliable and rational, if vocal and insistent in her rationality. Martha had always been able to rely on her, to tell her the truth even when she did not want to hear it.

"I expected to be able to walk away." Martha admitted. "I expected to do this one good thing and be able to make it out unscathed."

"When you agreed to do this, to..." Francine looked down at the tiny infant again, "carry him, it never crossed your mind that there were consequences?"

"It wasn't as if I had much choice, was it? Tish was a mess, and no one else could do it Mum. It had to be me."

"Knowing that, Martha, you should have been able to accept the outcomes, no matter what. It's like anything in life, it's always what happens when you are making plans. You think you have it all sorted, then..." Francine shook her head and placed the baby back into his bassinet. "I was 13 when I met your father, I thought he was the bravest, strongest, most handsome man I had ever met."

"Hardly a man at 15." Martha nodded knowingly.

"When you are 13, anyone older, especially male, seems so much bigger than life."

"I know the story Mum." Martha tried to hedge off where her mother was leading.

But, as usual, Francine was having no truck with it. "I know you know, Martha, and that is why I am telling you this final thing."

Martha waited with a nod, sure of what was to come next.

"Get over yourself, Martha. No one's life happens the way they plan. It exists and it evolves. We adapt, we change, we move along."

Three days later, she stood with him next to the TARDIS and watched him enter. Donna stood beside her, watching the Doctor struggle to open the door of the ship while juggling the fidgety baby.

"You sure about all of this, Martha?"

She nodded slowly, it took more effort than she realized to move her head. The last three days had passed as if she were struggling to move underwater. Memories were replaced mostly with sepia tainted images of the time she spent as a mother. "Yeah,"

"Martha," Donna tried again. "I mean, it's not as if you have to be with him or anything. "

"And plenty of parents stay together for the children. I get it, Donna, thanks."

Donna shrugged then, sighed and went on. "I don't see how this is a good thing, for any of you. He needs you Martha, even if you can't see it, or don;t want to. He needs you"

"I will see him as often as I can, Donna. Believe it or not, even though he is biologically not mine, I do love him."

"I wasn't talking about the baby, but yeah, he needs you too."

"Donna, let it go. Look, don't let him sidle you too much, you have your own life to lead, yeah? I know you, you can tell him know a thousand ties, but if he shoves that baby under your nose, you will go all ga ga."

"I got the perfect solution for that." Donna answered with a nod. "And, anyway, isn;t that what you are doing? No, Martha. I am in until he figures out what to do, and there is a shelf life here. Don;t worry about that. But, it goes both ways, dunnit it?" She fixed Martha with a knowing glare.

"Donna," Martha warned.

But, Donna stood silently as the Doctor finally opened the door. She looked back over her shoulder before entering, then gave the Doctor a look that would have sent the Daleks running for cover. She plucked the tiny bundle out of his arms and nudged him with her foot before closing the door shut behind her.

"She is not subtle at all." Martha noted.

He shook his head. "Nope."

Martha let her hand follow along the baby's soft downy head. "You are going to be missed." she said to the small infant.

"I know." The Doctor nodded. He began moving toward the ship in small steps, afraid of leaving. "One week?" he asked.

Martha nodded. "He'd better be in one piece, Doctor." she warned.

"You can come and make sure he stays that way." He sniffed.

"I trust you with him." Martha smiled.

Donna stuck her head out of the blue door. "Trust? Him? There is a car seat duct taped to the jump seat.'

"Be prepared." The Doctor intoned.

"The

nappieas are all pink." Donna rifled.

"They were on sale, and anyway, what does it matter?" he smiled at Martha. "Nothing I can do to change your mind?" he asked low.

Martha sighed. "You could have told me things, from the beginning,"

he nodded. "I could have, but some things that happened were so minute of a possibility, Martha." The Doctor shook his head.

"But they still happened." she insisted.

"They did."

Martha stepped back, shook her head and moved away from the TARDIS. The Doctor nodded, sighed and entered his ship.

As the TARDIS spun out of existence, Jack moved to stand next to her, he put his arm around Martha and sighed. "You just gonna let them go?" he asked.

Martha, flexed her fist and angled her fist into Jack's jaw. "That's for retconning me before.' she nodded.

Jack rubbed his cheek. "I knew that was coming, just never expected it now. " he smiled. "Not doing to well with the separation are we? And it's only been 30 seconds. Maybe I should transfer you to Torchwood Four. They need a good doctor."

"Shut up, Jack." Martha said.


	30. It's Too Late To Change Your  Mind III

**WHEW! It's been a year and a wild rise. thanks Q T for the swift kick in the a$$ needed that! This one is officially for you! This is the end, but the end is where we start from for the next part of this story. Give me some tie to post the next story, i got a 9/Martha story on the back burner...**

She looked at the computer screen and pretended to care. She heard them in the corner, talking about her, making assumptions about her state of mind. She didn't care, whatever they surmised was fine by her. As long as they talked behind her back, she did not have to look at their faces.

That new one, the handsome man with the sad, knowing smile and the endless kindnesses. He seemed to understand when she turned him down, repeatedly. He got the message when she would leave the room when he came in; Jack said he had once traveled with the Doctor, but Martha could not seem to muter up the emotion to care

She had moved back to her own flat the moment that the TARDIS blinked out of existence, she'd clutched her roller bag between knuckles clenched whie. Jack had asked her to stay on for a time, in her old room, get her feet back on solid ground. But, Martha shook her head, and left.

Her mother had looked after her plants and emptied the perishables in her fridge. She sighed as she dropped her things in the middle of the living room floor and surveyed what was once home.

Didn't feel that way anymore.

Besides, Francine Jones had permanently placed Martha on the No-Try List. She was curt and polite to her daughter, but no more than that. It was far more than what Tish offered, who still would not say more than two words to her, and in response, Martha had refused the apology she knew she still owed her.

She had begun to so anything and everything to forget. She spent all of her time out in the field, avoiding the new techie named Mickey, who seemed to have a fast growing and unshakable interest in her. In another life, another time, she would have pursued him as ardently as he had her. In another time she would have been both flattered for the affection, and longing for me.

But, the body she wore now no longer matched the brain and heart. She was sure that he knew the whole story, that Gwen and Ianto and Jack had made sure to tell him to leave her alone. Martha could care less if they had had conference calls to Istanbul about what she had gone through, it was of no consequence anymore. In truth, nothing was.

She sat on her over-priced sofa, feet up on the coffee table, and sank her head onto the back cushion. Jack had asked her, as she wheeled her bag up through the passage to freedom, if she was all right.

"Of course I am all right. I'm always all right, Jack."she answered flippantly, over the shoulder as if her heart was not breaking. Jack shook his head and said nothing, just watched her go.

Martha was glad that he had not fought her on it, and as she sat in her living room for the first time in what felt like years, she cried as she had wanted to; loudly and alone.

XXXXXXXXX

"I one had a really great dog, back in 1876." Jack began one day.

"Does this story have a point?" Martha asked from her seat in front of the medical computers. She had taken it upon herself to rearrange the cataloging of the species that they had come in contact with. It was a big task, especially since she was cross referencing them by quadrant, physical attributes, and voracity.

"All my stories have points." he sniffed, folded his arms and leaned against the back of her chair.

A dismissive circular hand gesture was all Martha cared to give, but it was enough to encourage the immortal man to go on. "She was a great dog. Blue Point Healer. Smartest dog I have ever met."

"This isn't one of those 'Letters to Penthouse" is it?" she asked.

Jack, apparently, had learned over the last few months to ignore her. It was no surprise to Martha, everyone had learned to walk carefully around her. More so in the last three weeks. Since...

"She got out one day. I had left the back door open on my way out to track down some nasty Elristins. I left the back door open, and she got out. I didn't realize it when I got back and found her asleep on the front stairs of the house, but she was pregnant."

"Sad story, Jack. I wouldn't tell that one around Bob Barker if I were you." she smiled.

"9 weeks later, I am the owner of not one dog, but seven. Tey were cute and all, stil don;t know which mutt got in there and did it, but the problem was mine, she was my dog. " Jack stopped, and Martha turned to look a a sad expression crossed his face for a moment. "I gave them all away. Sat outside of the general store with a sign. One by one, I got rid of all six of them. I still remember her face when I came back that night. She sniffed that box for hours, looking for those pups. She was never the same after that. Even hunting, she seemed to be looking for the pups more than looking for the kill. She didn't even have the same smile in her eyes after the pups were gone."

Martha turned to face him full. "Jack, are you comparing me to a dog?"

"She was a real smart dog." Jack went on. "I should have at least let her keep one." He stopped for a bit and straightened himself. "I got a new guy coming in to work the computers. Real great guy. I think you'll like him. Used to travel with the Doctor." He left then, Martha watched his coat whip around the corner after him.

XXXXX

It was a week into her newly acquired freedom that Jack had brought in Mickey Smith. He was smart, handsome, charming, everything she would have once wanted in a...

_what, Martha? In a what?_

She shook her head as Jack made the rounds with him, and pretended not to notice his attentions. She turned back to the compute screen and shrugged off the feeling of eyes boring into her back.

It was Jack's idea that she, Martha, be the one to show Mickey the computer systems. In all fairness, it made sense, she had been the interim techie since coming on board. On one hand, Martha was relieved to remove one of the hats she wore in the Hub, but she could not deny she would miss the solitude that working on a computer would offer her.

"It's nice to meet you, Martha Jones." Mickey smiled as he took the computer seat next to her. "Always nice to meet someone else who shared the stars."

She nodded absently, remembering that Mickey had once been a sort of companion to the Doctor, but she felt no desire to swap stories with him.

He talked instead, filled in the gaps between passwords and firewalls with talk about living in another universe, his travels with the Doctor, his family and lack thereof. She nodded periodically but mostly ignored him. Martha wanted to feel something, tried to at least. But, it just wasn't going to happen.

By the time she finished teaching him the ins and outs of the systems, a Weevil attack had erupted not far from London.

"No," Jack said to her, he shook his head at her folded arms and moved right past her. "You are still on Maternity Leave." he shouted over his shoulder.

"Maternity Leave is for people with families, Jack. In case you haven;t notices, I seem to be flying solo now." She argued, still running behind him.

"Nightingale." Jack swiveled around suddenly, causing Martha to skid into him. "You gave birth a little over three weeks ago. A pretty traumatic birth at that, I would be mad to allow you back out this early. You need some more time to heal, physically."

"You can't keep me in the Hub forever." she shouted petulantly. "And you and I both know my healing factors are way through the roof now."

"I'm not sure if you will ever be emotionally ready to go back out into the field Martha. Given the circumstances. I don't have a lot of time to argue about this one, Martha. You are a Doctor, not a field agent. Stay here and rearrange the Medical Bay."

"Is this because I decked you?" she shouted as his form exited the bay doors. He did not turn to answer, to which, Martha huffed and kicked the wall in anger. Mickey made a dutifully sad face before following Jack and Gwen out of the door. Iant had the sense to stay out of it, merely brushed past her without so much as a glance.

Martha was in the midst of grabbing her gear and following anyway when the failiar sound filled the room.

"No," she groaned, "Not you. Not right now. Please, just go away." Martha threw herself against the wall and slid down to the floor. The TARDIS formed into solidity across the room from where she sat.

He stuck his head out tentatively, it was unlike him to ever be timid, but as he emerged fully Martha could see that he had the baby strapped to his chest. "Ah, there you are." The Doctor grinned big and emerged fully. "I tried to get here in a time when you were alone, the TARDIS was kind enough to let me know when the next Weevil attack was due." He moved his hand down the ships door in such a loving way that Martha nearly felt jealous of the old thing—an emotion she was not ready to even begin to unravel.

"Why are you here, now?" she asked, still seated on the floor.

He seemed disturbed by her question, his hand moved to the baby in front of him. "It's been a week." he sniffed.

"Been more than that." she spat as if he did not know. "Did you even wait an entire week? Or, has it only been a few hours for you?"

He stood quietly not answering her question. Martha, despite her head screaming at her to stay away, moved closer to the man holding the baby. Her entire attention span honed in on the tiny humanoid cooing at her. She lifted him out of his carrier and brought her arms around him. "Has he even got a name yet?" she asked.

"Not officially.." The Doctor hedged.

Martha peeked at him with one eyebrow raised. "What is Donna calling him?" she asked knowingly.

"She still has all of my memories..." he warned.

"What's his name, Doctor?" She held the baby to her and was surprised to feel the odd sensation of her milk coming in.

"Adric." The Doctor offered sadly.

"Where is she, anyway?" Martha asked as she sat to nurse Adric.

"She left." he nodded sullenly.

"Left?" Martha asked surprised. But, the Doctor offered no further examination, and Martha was sure he did not want to. "Hard on your own, is it?"

"You have no idea." he sighed, sitting on the couch nest to her.

She nodded, gilt coiling in her stomach. In truth, Martha had the idea that Donna left as a means to force her hand, that the brilliant red head realized that Martha would never own up to her responsibility as long as there was someone else there cleaning up the mess.

"He missed you..." The Doctor smiled, watching Adric eat lustily.

"I can tell." she answered, watching the gusto of the baby's hunger. She wondered when was the last time he ate.

"...and me, me too. I mean, I missed you too." he cleared his throat as if embarrassed by this admission.

She nodded. She had missed him too, both of them. But, in her own time she would admit to the week from hell. She wanted to feel again, it had been a long time since she had felt. Too long. "This is a real mess, do you know that?"

"What? No I changed him before we landed. And let me tell you, he can make quite the mess.." He stopped talking at the look Martha passed from beside him. "Oh, you mean..." he cleared his throat again. "Yes, well this is quite the mess."

She sighed again, comfortable in the closeness that the three of them enveloped themselves in. He had moved closer to her, so subtly like someone approaching a wounded animal. Is that how he saw her? Is that what she was? "I don;t ant to push him out of my life, but I don;t want to be such an integral part of yours either." she admitted finally. "I don;t want that responsibility."

He nodded, "I can understand that."

"I don't think I can get back into that box, either."

"Martha," he began. "Can we...Just hear me out. We can live together, on the TARDIS. A trial run. Separate rooms, separate everything. Except him." he pointed to Adric.

"That is a pretty bleak existence." she answered solemnly.

But, the Doctor shook his head. "I mean, give ourselves a chance to get to share him. He is pretty remarkable."

"Of that, I have no doubt." Martha agreed, switching Adric to her other breast. "Jack thinks that I have lost it. He thinks, that my grief has compromised my ability to work, to do my job to the best of my ability." It was harder to admit than to hear it. Jack had taken her out to lunch three days ago, and had spent the entire salad course explaining to her why she could not go out into the field anymore.

"And you?" He began, looking at Martha with the glare of a patient father. "Do you think he is right?"

Martha shrugged, but nodded slowly. "I have been, still am, so angry. All the time. Just angry. I did not ask for this burden, Doctor, and it feels like a sort of violation. Can you understand that?"

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, I can understand that." he sighed then, "I have always given people chances, choices really. I have always given those that I interrupt in their wrong doing an opportunity to change their minds before I take away all of their choices. I know, Martha. I know how you feel, but this time this one time, I need you to understand that there is someone involved in this that has no choice." He looked down at the now dozing baby in her arms.

"I know he has no say, Doctor, Don't think for a second I don't know that." she hissed. "Don't you dare try to guilt e into a decision."

The Doctor raised his hands in surrender. "No, no. I wasn't, honest. I Was trying to push my point about choice, Martha. And, how we don't always get one."

She nodded quietly and he went on. "Truthfully Martha." He gave her a cautious tentative glance before speaking again. "Truthfully, I don't like this any more than you do."

"Thanks," she shrugged. "That makes me feel surprisingly better."

They sat in silence for a time, the Hub buzzing gently around them, Martha wanted to say so much, but didn't want to spoil what the moment had created there for them. She had that same feeling of cobbled together family a sh did the fist time she held Adric, in that small room with Dr. Bowman beside her.

She smiled, and the Doctor moved in closer to her to see it. "Something good?" he asked.

Martha nodded. "I know your name." she nodded. "I think you did that on purpose."

He shrugged, "It was necessary."

"It was a completion of this whole bonding thing, wasn't it?" she asked.

"I already had your mother's permission." he answered, without much remorse Martha noted.

"I'm glad that you and my Mum were making decisions for me." she sighed.

"They were decisions for Adric. Everyone wanted to see him make it, Martha." he defended.

"If I come with you-"

"There is a possibility of that, then?" The Doctor asked hopefully. Too hopefully Martha noted, but went on a if he had not interrupted her.

"If, I was to come with you, live in there with the three of us together." She sighed, trying to form the words in her head carefully, and began to eel that she would need a lawyer to cover all of his possible loopholes. "For one year, to see if we can raise him together..."

"Yes?" The Doctor asked quickly.

"There has to be rules, Doctor. Lots of them."

"I was never very really god with those.." he admitted. "artha, I can barely adhere to the laws of physics..." he trailed off.

"But, if this is what you want, there has to be respect."

"I respect the hell out of you." he admitted.

"No, not the Time Lord measure of respect. I need the Human level of respect. I need to be told, everything. Even the things that I don;t know to ask questions about. I need to be informed, Doctor." she admitted.

"Trust." he nodded.

"Oh yes," Martha went on. "You need to explain things, I mean, if we are in a life and death situation, ok, I don;t need a textbook written on the spot, but I do need you to speak plainly. Every question answered, every real issue dealt with. No more hiding, or keeping things hidden. No more obfuscating."

The Doctor's nod of acquiescence was her clue to go on. "There needs to be a level of trust and respect on both sides, Doctor. It's different than me going along for one ride, there is a lot more at stake, now."

"I am so sorry about all of that."

Martha ignored his apology. "It all comes down to one year."

The Doctor held up a finger and began to fumble around in his pockets. His hands emerged holding what looked like to Martha a very Steam Punk Alarm Clock. The Doctor began to fiddle with the dials and gears until a loud ding went off. Adric startled at the sound, but mercifully settled back into her arms with a rather loud snore for an infant. "Sorry," he whispered.

"You say that a lot." she said.

The Doctor smiled. "I do. I need to. I do a lot of things that need apology for." he leaned back into the sofa and jiggled the weird looking gadget in his hands. "This is a temporal alarm clock, Martha. I have set it for one Earth year. No mater where we are, or what we are doing, this alarm will let us know that time is up, time to make a decision."

She cautioned a good look at the gadget. "One year, no matter what?" she asked, noting that his forthcoming of information without being asked for it was at least, a step in the right direction.

"This is for all the marbles, Martha. I cannot afford to screw this up." he nodded. "Every question answered, to the best of my ability."

She expected him to say 'scout' honor,' but he held up his hand in the Vulcan greeting.

"Good enough, for now." she sighed. "How did you know he regenerated? I mean when you got there, you didn't even know I had had him. How did you know?" she asked suddenly.

"I could smell the regenerative energy. I could feel the charge of it in the air. He regenerated before birth?" Martha nodded. "That could present some strange affects on you. And, before you ask, I don't know. It's something we will have to find out together."

Martha sighed and stood with the baby. "I suppose that is as good a start as anyone could hope for, with you. Who's Adric?"

The Doctor, arms now empty, seemed at a loss for want of something to do with his hands as he stood. "A very old friend. How about I tell you about him over dinner?"

"You are making a lot of assumptions." she smiled

"You're the one walking toward the TARDIS." he fired back.

"I reserve the right to add to the rules at any time." she added as they made their way toward the ancient ship.

"I would expect nothing less." he admitted.

"No expectations." she added.

"Only hope." he answered.

"Truth, Doctor. Full disclosure. Speak plainly." She reminded him in front of the blue doors.

"Speak plainly, Martha. Got it!" he grinned big.


End file.
